Chapter 8-Save Me From This Moment

I ran up stairs and tried to wait patiently. Impossible. Luckily it didn't take him long to come upstairs. I was more than relieved. I don't think I could have taken much more of not knowing.

I was staring at him, mid brainstorming. "Not Victoria?"

"No."

"Volturi?"

"Who?" He sounded confused and shook his head.

This was sure to be a frustrating process if he continued his one syllable answers. "Other vampire?"

Silence.

I gasped.

Him.

My chest constricted. My arms wrapped around my stomach, my automatic reaction to him.

I turned toward the door. I wasn't sure what to do. This would have been my dream come true. Everything I was waiting for. But I couldn't move any further

I didn't have to turn around to know he was behind me. I felt his heat radiating off of him, silently begging me to stay.

"Edward?" I breathed out, trying to shake off the initial shock. It hurt to finally say his name.

"Bella…" I heard the worry in his voice. He didn't know how to react either.

I was in pain, but it was just a minor ache compared to before. The shock subsided a little, and I was waiting for the excruciating pain, waiting for my feet to move, to run to him, waiting. But I didn't. All that I felt was frustration, a twinge of regret, and utter confusion. As soon as I did what Edward wanted, to move on without him, here he is.

We both stood there. For many excruciating moments.

But Jacob was still here. Right next to me. Whenever I needed him, right here. But not Edward. My stomach was aching more, and I turned to the one thing that made it better.

He immediately wrapped his arms around me. I felt him let out a breath that he was holding. I wanted to hide in his arms. I still wasn't sure what to do. Edward was back. What happened now? Although the excruciating pain wasn't there, a huge knot in my stomach took hold. Was he here to stay? Why was he here?

"Why?" I managed to say, a lump forming in my throat.

"Why else? He wants to see you. But it won't happen." He said, looking out the window.

Could I face him? He came for me… but why? Did he want me back? Could I ever forgive him? Did I want to forgive him? My breathing picked up as it too often happens. I just started moving on, beginning to forget. Why did he have to come back now?

I fought tears as I pulled away from Jacob and started looking around, running my fingers through my hair. I couldn't just stay here and do nothing. I needed to do something. Anything. I didn't want to cry over him any more. I had to get away. "We have to go to La Push."

Jacob looked confused with my sudden panicked movement. "Bella, what about your dad?"

I grabbed my duffle bag and started grabbing clothes. "I don't know. I just can't do this right now." My hands shook as I was trying to close the bag.

"You don't have to. He won't come near you." He pulled the duffle bag across my bed, out of reach.

"But he's right out there!" I pointed out the window. My eyes followed my finger to look out the window. For him. He was right there like all those wonderful nights.

All of my emotions were battling each other. Yearning, anger, sadness, uncertainty, and worst of all, hope. For the past with Edward to become the present again.

But one feeling prevailed over the others. The desperate need to escape this awful, unwanted change. I was so tired of crying over him. I grabbed the bag back from him. "I'm going." I said, my voice breaking.

"You can't stay there forever." He said standing in front of me and gently grabbing my arms. "Charlie would never let you." His hands went down my arms and took the bag from me. I didn't hear anything else he had to say. "We have this under control. Trust me."

It didn't feel right. After all those times he was out in the woods and snuck in through the window. It didn't feel right that he didn't come in. Nothing felt right about this. I wanted to get out. I headed for the door again, giving up on my bag.

He almost automatically wrapped his arms around my waist and held me to his chest. I still tried to keep walking, pushing on his arms, but he just held tighter.

"Don't Bella."

I kept trying to move, trying to fight him off and failing miserably.

"I don't want to lose you Bella." He growled urgently in my ear. He turned me around to face him. He was trying to fight his own emotions. "I won't lose you. Not to him. Not after what he did to you." He grabbed my face with his hands and made me look straight into his eyes. "I love you too much to let that happen."

My eyes went wide as his intensely looked into mine.

I slowly processed what he said, wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. I should be excited. My boyfriend said he loved me. But this just made me all the more confused. Edward was still out there, determined to see me.

But Jacob was right here. Holding me up. Not Edward.

And that, I told myself, was all that mattered.

"I love you." I whispered.

And right then and there I silently promised Jacob I would never hurt him the way that Edward hurt me.