AUTHORS NOTE: Don't hate me.
Every woman in Camelot fancied a dance with him. Even Morgana seemed to be genuinely happy for the prince, though she wore her mask well as she sat with Uther. For a woman plotting their deaths, she can be very affectionate. He watched from the side lines as always with a little cloth pouch tucked safely away for later. Arthur spun Gwen around the floor with a long bout of laughter. Arthur met his eyes then and he smiled as the prince switched to one of the kitchen staff ladies. Merlin watched him swish back goblet full after goblet full and grew anxious. He had to reassure himself Arthur would like my present, as he was bestowed with more and more lavish gifts; the last of which being a ring with the Pendragon crest from his father. Arthur beamed at that and watching them made him feel as if he glowed. It was then that Arthur started forcing drinks upon his servant. Not such a good idea when Merlin only had to sniff the air in a tavern before he was tipsy.
When Merlin finally helped Arthur stumble away they only made it to Gaius' chambers. Gaius was away helping a sick woman at her home. He deposited Arthur on a sick bed "You're a good servant, Merlin! Good." Arthur patted me on the head, sleepily. "Get me more wine!"
"Sire, I have a present for you." He whispered as to not stir the headache he knew was creeping its way into his skull.
"Wine first! One bottle for me and one for you!" Merlin staggered over to the place he knew Gaius kept the wine, grabbing two without much thought. He sat back down and handed the prince the bottle.
"Now what have you got for me? What could you possibly have for me that I couldn't get any day of the year?"
He shook his head and pulled out the pouch, emptying the contents into his hand a small disc, "Well, it isn't much but I thought it would do." He stared at it then back at Merlin. "It's a compass that points toward Camelot. That way you'll always be able to find your way back."
Arthur stared at it. "Is it magic?"
"No sire, it is science. At least… According to Gaius" Arthur starred at it almost as if he were entranced and it was long enough for Merlin to second guess giving it to him. "If you don't want it-"
"NO!" He hadn't expected such an outburst. Arthur snatched for it and calmed down considerably, "No…" He put it around his neck and rolled it between his fingers. "I… Thank you, Merlin. You didn't-." Arthur sounded almost humble then and Merlin couldn't think of anything to say. He had not expected him to be so fond of it. "And to think I got you nothing for your birthday… When is your birthday?" He looked truly sorry.
"It was in October." Arthur cringed. "Don't fret, sire. I understand."
"How is it you always understand, when I do not? I… I am not a good friend to you… Do you think it is because I'm a prince?"
He laughed opening the wine bottle he had and taking several long swigs before answering, "I KNOW it's because you're a prince." Strangely, he had somehow managed to empty the bottle.
He nuzzled into the pillow, "Then I wish I wasn't one." He mumbled soft and low. Merlin's chest tightened a bit and he pulled the covers up to his shoulder as he drifted off.
"Happy birthday, Arthur." Only when he was drunk, only when he was tired, only when Merlin hadn't done something stupid, did he ever say such kind things. That was fine though, because they would be no less true when he woke up in the afternoon.
Even if he yelled, grumpily, for me to bring a hangover cure from Gaius.
Merlin felt strange upon waking. He was asleep at the table and Arthur was up, reading bottle labels. "Merlin! What does the hang over remedy look like?"
"Tiny blue vile next to the dragon root."
Arthur sighed, sitting down at the table, "Quite a party last night."
"I enjoyed most of it. Not so much your constant flirtation with ever skirt that passed you by, but otherwise enjoyable."
Arthur's eyebrows shot up and Merlin's brow furrowed in confusion. Had he meant to say that?
Arthur shook his head as if to clear it. "Well what did you enjoy most then?"
"When you got the ring from your father, I don't think you've ever looked so happy."
Arthur's eyebrows remained elevated, "Well, it was a… Happy moment. The ring means a lot to me seeing as it's been in my family since its beginning."
"I know that, Arthur. I can read."
"Good to hear." Arthur chuckled, "Well, I'm sorry I had you drink so much. I forgot how easy you get drunk. Not sure why you put up with me… That's not true, I know why."
"I find that hard to believe."
"I am your prince and master. You have to put up with me."
Merin laughed, "I can't believe you honestly think that's the only reason I put up with you."
One of Arthur's eyebrows returned to its normal position, while the other remained aloft. He had spotted the bottle at Merlin's elbow. "You drank Lady Selene's gift to me?" Merlin's eyes snapped to it.
Suddenly he couldn't stop the words, and they all rushed out at once. "It was laced with a truth potion. That's why I didn't give it back to you. I must have grabbed it in a drunken state and now I've got to tell the truth." Merlin clapped his hands over his mouth as Arthur set his eyes in a glare. This could not end well.
"Protecting someone who tried to use witchcraft against me?"
"I don't think she meant you any harm. I don't think she knew about it at all. If I thought she did I won't have kept it from you, now would I?"
"Have you any idea how dangerous magic is?"
"I had it under control."
"This was a direct attack on my person by the forces of magic! You're acting rather calm about it!"
"It wasn't even that powerful a truth potion! It would have lasted for only a day or so."
"So you'll be like this all day?"
"No. My magic should have it out of my system in a matter of hours. And since I drank it before I slept I should say I'm on the back end of the potions affects."
"Your magic?" Arthur paled so terribly he thought the prince might pass out.
merlin scrambled for an explaination. "I am but I don't mean you or Uther any harm! I've been trying to protect you!"
Arthur's mouth opened like a fish gasping for air. Before he finally set on something to say, "You didn't tell me."
"Is that really that much of a shock?"
"A little, yes! -I guess it explains a great deal- But you still lied to me!"
Merlin frowned, "I only did it so I wouldn't be beheaded. I'm loyal to you and I'm loyal to Camelot. What more do I need to explain beyond that? If I was going to betray you I probably would have done it when I first got here and saw that sorcerer beheaded; before the dragon let me in on our grand destiny and before I ever fell in love with you." Merlin's hands slapped across his mouth once more. Arthur stared at him.
"What?"
"I love you." Why did his hands and mouth keep betraying him? Merlin truly wished he could crawl in a hole and die. Or perhaps cry all the water from his body. He was dead. Totally dead. Arthur continued his blank stare for another minute. His face was devoid of any expression at all and Merlin just wanted to die right then and there. "Sire, I-" But before he could say any more Arthur stood and walked out. "Arthur!"
His mind and heart raced with the possibilities of what that reaction meant. It couldn't have been good. He was dead, so dead, completely dead. Even if he wasn't, to face his prince again would be… He couldn't bear that. He had to leave, clear his head. He grabbed a piece of parchment and wrote a Gaius. He'd stop by and say goodbye to Gwen. He'd go home to his mother for a bit and have Gaius write him if Arthur ever relented. He debated writing Arthur but he couldn't even find words.
When he found Gwen he was close to tears. "Merlin! You look terrible!"
"Have you… seen Arthur?" His throat cracked a bit.
"He was eating with his father in the main hall. A bit distracted."
"I…" He shook his head with a rueful smile. "I can't believe it. He's just sitting there you say?"
"Yes. Looked distracted, but he's probably just a bit hung over after his party."
Merlin shook his head, "No. No I told him I love him. And that I-" He almost sobbed, as he checked the hallway and leaned in to whisper. "And that I'm a sorcerer."
She gasped, "REALLY!" He only nodded. Gwen hugged him. "Oh honey, it's alright. I mean, Arthur hasn't told Uther about it. Maybe he'll be alright after a couple of days. He must just be in shock." She rubbed his back, trying to calm him. "Maybe… You should go visit your mum. You a- who'd have thought- I- wait… You healed my father during the sickness, didn't you?" Merlin was nodding. She hugged him tighter, "You've been watching over Arthur this whole time. I knew it… Some how, I think I always knew."
"I came… to say goodbye." She nodded, smoothing the front of his shirt. If he had had a sister, he'd want her to be as caring as Gwen. "Tell Arthur- tell him I'm sorry."
"For?" Merlin tried to answer but his voice cracked, and he tried to think. He didn't know. Gwen, however, seemed to understand, "I'll be seeing you, Merlin."
Merlin couldn't answer as he left the castle. He hoped she was right.