Chapter 7

Real With Me

Sam's hot breath fanned across my lips and into my open mouth as I pulled him closer to me. His lips connected with mine in a sloppy, drunken manner but, at the moment I really could care less. I needed some relief from my near constant state of sexual frustration that I had been feeling lately. Maybe then I wouldn't feel like such a lovesick school girl whenever I thought about Eric. Eric. I thought with a slight sigh as I threw myself more into the kiss with Sam. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist, pulling him closer to me. Sam sucked in a tight breath and pulled away from me slightly.

"Blaze, we really shouldn't be doing this." He panted.

"And why is that, Sam?" I murmured into his ear while running my nails slowly up and down the back of his neck.

"I..we're..drunk." He gasped as I started kissing a line down his neck.

"Are we?" I hummed continuing my line down his neck.

He started to begin another argument until I crushed my lips against his, silencing him. Things progressed quickly after Sam realized that there was no resisting me. My hands slipped down to undo the button and zipper of his jeans and he sighed loudly while I smirked.

"Oh god, Sookie." He murmered into the top of my head. My hands stilled and my body went cold. The fuzziness in my brain cleared and I realized what I was doing, more specifically, who I was doing.

"What did you just say?" I demanded. I knew Sam had a thing for Sookie. It was pretty obvious. Was I acting as a substitute for her? Was I Sam's second choice? Even though, I was doing basically the same thing to him, using him as a substitute for Eric, it hurt like hell all the same. I was no one second best.

"I don't know, Blaze, just don't stop." I sighed, pulling me closer. I glared furiously at him. He didn't even realize he called me Sookie!

"You called me Sookie." I spat at him, pushing him away and stomping out of the door.

Sam called for me to wait up but, I wasn't about to listen to him. I felt hurt and extremely embarrassed. I quickly dug my keys out of my purse, ignoring the little voice in my head that said I had been drinking and was an emotional mess and I shouldn't drive home. I hurriedly sped out of the parking lot just as Sam clamoured out, yelling at me to come back. I sighed loudly, clenching my teeth to hold back the embarrassed tears that were sure to spill out once I got into my apartment. Luckily I made it home without being pulled over or crashing into a telephone pole and slipped up into my house without a problem. I feared if Mrs. Winkman would have came out I would have slapped her, or started crying hysterically onto her tiny shoulders.

The sniffling started right when I closed my front door but, I valiantly tried to hold back the tears. All my life I had been compared to Sookie. She was always considered the prettier sister, and I was just second best. When I was a teenager, boys would flock to me thinking that they if they didn't have a chance with Sookie then I was the next best thing. When it first started to happened Sookie knew and told me so but, I stupidly thought she was just jealous of me. I would find out later on that they all had a thing for Sookie. I flopped on my couch with a long, staggering sigh, swallowing thickly and letting a few tears leak out. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.

I jumped slightly staring at my cell phone for with disdain as its ringing interrupt my depressed mussing. I contemplated turning the ringer off and letting whoever it was leave a message. I finally decided that it was probably Eric or Sookie calling at this hour and that I should probably answer it or face the wrath of either one of their anger. I sighed, wiping my eyes and nose quickly before scuffling over to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" I practically whined. I cleared my throat quietly, trying to rid my voice of it's sadden tone.

"Scarlet? Scarlet, what's wrong honey?" Sookie's sweet voice murmured.

I was torn between sighing in relief that it was Sookie or screaming all my frustration out at her for being the better looking sister. Sookie had told me time and time again that I was plenty beautiful and that there was no way to compare us. She was the cute little blonde with manners and humble attitude. I was the rebellious dirty blonde that dye her hair different colors every other month and could bring a guy to his knees with the one smouldering look. I was the more outgoing sister and was reckless and spontaneous. Sookie, on the other hand, would much rather settle down and read a book than go out on the town. We were total opposites but, people still tried to compare us anyway.

"Hey Sook." I groaned, rubbing my face. I couldn't vent to Sookie about these type of problems with me. She knew I had my insercurties about her. She would always try to convince me that there just wasn't anything to compare. I knew she was right but, that didn't erase the lingering feelings that I had.

"What's the matter with you, Scar? You sound really sad." Sookie said, using her 'caring mom' voice on me. Usually when Sookie mothered me like that it would make me feel all warm and fuzzy but, right now for some reason it just served to piss me off even more.

"I'm fine." I snapped, irritably.

"If you don't want to talk about whatever if bothering you then fine, Scar. You can do whatever you want to, just don't snap at me when I'm trying to help." Sookie replied, angerly. I sighed, rubbing my eyes, suddenly very tired with my conversation with Sookie.

"Sorry Sook. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I'm just...tired." I finished lamely.

"Alright then. I'll let you go to bed. Call me tomorrow when you're not so tired. Goodbye." Sookie said in a chipped tone.

"Sookie, wait!" I yelled into the now dead line. I cursed under my breath and threw the phone on the ground before flopping back on the couch to stare at the celling.

"Fuck." I sighed. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" I screamed as I slapped a pillow over my face, trying to smother myself.

I felt bad for how I acted towards Sookie but, I just couldn't take her rationality right now. I just wanted someone to say that I was their first choice. I know it is terrible to think about but, I had always wanted Sookie to experience what I did, to have the hurt of being second best to me. I instantly felt guilty for wanting that. I heaved a deep sigh again and throwing the pillow off of my face. I need comfort of a cigarette right about now. I dragged myself off of the couch, motivated by the promise of nicotine, and into my dresser drawer. Once I had grabbed my lighter and pack and slipped through the bathroom window to the terrace I started to feel slightly better after taking my first drag.

Once I had finished the stick I threw the butt as far away from the building as I could and lean forward on the cold railing, wrapping my arms around it to cradle my head. I didn't feel the same way I usually did after finishing a cigarette. There was still a small nagging throbbing in my chest like I was longing for something else. The thought of crawling into bed alone tonight sounded like a death sentence tonight. Any other night I would gladly accepted sleeping in my own bed all alone with no one else to bother me. I realized though that I wasn't wanting just some random dude off the street to be with me in bed tonight. I just wanted one person. Eric. I growled, shaking myself internally. He probably didn't even give one fuck about me. He was like every other guy, I kept telling myself. He just wants Sookie in the end. Still I couldn't get that stupid kiss out of my head. Dumb, stupid, jerk vampire. Vamp-jerk.

I slipped back inside still have an inner argument with myself about Eric. Against my better instincts I picked up my phone and scroll through the messages that we had exchanged. Well technically, we never have had an actually conversation via text, it mostly consisted of us bitching at each other. That bothered me for some reason. We had talked in person but, I like the sick sick woman I was, wanted to be able to see there was a connection. I wanted visual proof that Eric was actually speaking to me. Before my brain could even caught up with what I was doing, I sent Eric a simple text.

Hey.

Three little letters that I wished instantly I could take back. Why am I doing this to myself? I thought with a shake of my head. After minutes of staring at my phone, I figured that I was pathetic enough and I should get ready for bed instead of waiting for Eric to text back, which would probably never happen. I went to the bathroom and washed my face, glancing back way too many times than I'd like to admit at my phone on my bed for any sign that Eric had texted me back. When I started pulling off my clothes there was still no text from Eric. At this point I was sulkily putting on a long shirt to sleep in, already decided that Eric would not be texting me back. Asshole vampire. Ass-pire. I thought angrily as I pulled off my pants.

I slipped one leg into my sweatpants and was lifting my leg to put my other leg in when my phone chirped, alerting me I had a new message. I promptly tried running to the phone, only to catch my foot in my pants and fall face first into the carpet. My legs obviously didn't get the message that I was on the ground, eating old smelly carpet, because the were still running full speed, giving me a nice carpet burn to the face. I quickly propelled myself up, legs still moving, and pounced on my phone like a cheetah in order to read the message.

Hello, Scarlet.

I smiled brightly, with my heart bumping a million miles an hour. What the hell am I supposed to say now? It's got to be something cool, suave. I already sounded like an idiot when I just wrote 'hey.' Seriously who does that? I knew I was acting ridiculous now. I breathed in deep, letting it out slowly while I thought over something to say to him.

I'm bored.

Wow. I thought to myself, about ready to throw myself out the window. How much of an idiot can I be? I grabbed the nearest pillow and promptly tried smother myself for the second time tonight. Before I could fully kill myself my phone chirped again.

What are you wearing?

I scoffed at the response but, grinned in spite of myself. Typical Eric. I settled into bed and then began typing my next message.

Sorry, not that bored.

I smirked at my comment. Let's see what he had to say to that. Sure enough minutes later his reply came.

That doesn't answer my question, Scarlet. Now what are you wearing?

I scowled at Eric's reply this time. He was such a jerk. A vampire jerk, also called a verk. Although, he was the guy that I couldn't stop thinking about, he was drop dead sexy, and he was more than willing to have a little fun. I was a sexually frustrated girl and still slightly intoxicated from earlier tonight. What was a little text sex among friends, right? After I looked down at my current outfit of a white T-shirt and boxers I decided to embellish a little of the actual details of what I was wearing.

Nothing.

I bite my lip and settled down deeper into my bed. I knew that once I started this I was going to have to finish it, now that I had started I was starting to doubt myself. My phone chirped again.

Nothing?

I laughed at the stunned response.

Nothing.

I confirmed. I gulped, waiting for Eric's next text that would surely be something completely erotic. Just then, my phone started to ring. I checked the caller ID to see that Eric was calling me. This wasn't supposed to happen! It was supposed to me just a few sexy texts exchanged and maybe a picture and then call it a night. I didn't expect for him to actually call me. How was I supposed to think during phone sex? I swallowed thickly and quickly answered the phone.