I am sorry for this late chapter, I know that I should have said something this week about why this chapter wasn't updated earlier but I wasn't home and where I have been, there was no computer…

So I couldn't even write it there, I just thought about it and when I came, that's today, I begun to write it and it's so late.

But I look forward to forgiveness and I bow my head for it and I will try harder to keep my promises.

But there was no way to write so, anyway, I will stop now and move on with the chapter.

From the previous chapter:

"Do you think happy endings also happen in real life?" He said and just then, I turned around to look at him.

My eyes have met with his eyes. He really wants to know my answer, he's serious.

I sigh and then I thought about my answer.
'Well, it's been a long time from when I believed that a miracle can happen, and that I will have a happy ending. No, there are no happy endings in real life.'

I thought and I sigh again.

"Yes, but not always." I said.

'It's not really a one hundred percent lie.' I thought while I tried to be positive.

But then I looked at him again and he was sad, looking down again, this time, at the wooden floor.

When he raised his eyes from the floor, he smiled to me, and he showed me my own phone in his hand, stretching it towards me.

"You've got a message, old man."

He said still smiling, and while I made the three steps that had closed our distance, I took my phone.

Without even knowing why, I opened the message, and he still looks at me from my bed while I am standing with my phone in my hands, in front of the bed.

And I read the message in my mind:

'I know you miss me'

Chapter 5: Wasted life

Words don't leave my clouded mind how they used to,

I am here, running blind and instead of running ahead,

I run back to seconds, minutes, hours, days and years…

When I used to know who I am, when I felt something.

I regret that I forgot myself, that I chose the easy way out,

I erased myself, from my own mind along with my memories,

The painful ones continued to haunt me every time I woke up

And the happy ones were too much to keep, 'cause they will never come back.

Shocked, maybe, surprised, maybe, but above them all, I was afraid. My past just came back in full force, and I am completely unable to stop it from crushing on me.

'This can't be happening to me.' I thought slowly but firm.

It is a fact, that when I feel helpless, when this merciless but familiar pain is spreading through me like a bomb that has exploded inside of me makes me unable to move, like an octopus that has put its tentacles around me so tight that it makes me unable to think clearly at a logical solution, and like a snake who has embraced my neck, it instantly makes me to realize that I'm unable to breathe.

"You're okay old man? You're pale…"

He said with a worried voice, when I looked at him, his smile has disappeared.

Even so, I was almost unable to see him, the tentacles around me, so tight, my breathing so hurried, searching for a glimpse of air, now that my brain is also unable to think, not anymore.

'My chest hurts…' The last thought which I've left to escape in my mind after the pain has spread completely within me, like pure poison.

I looked at the phone, and I erased the message. I took the phone with me while I opened the closet, and I have thrown it on some random pile of clothes. I've begun to search for my only escape, now.

Because it's over.

"What are you doing?" I heard him, asking me but I did not respond.

I already regret it. The same old guilt is rising within me, but I deserve it.

I hate myself because in one second, after such a long time. This one message made me hope again. In one second after years of trying to kill my hopes, after all, all I did in the end was to let myself hope again.

After searching and searching again for the key that has unlocked the compartment that's inside my closet, I opened it, and I took it. I opened the bottle, and half of the liquid has already begun to burn the insides of my neck.

"What the hell? Stop!"

His hand on my bottle, and his worried, confused but angry face faced with mine. But I don't know how I look.

"Take your hands off!"

I yelled and he immediately stepped back for one second 'cause after two seconds, he yelled back:

"What the hell is wrong with you? What the hell wrote in that message? Why did you start drinking suddenly like you're crazy? Answer me for Christ's sake!"

I heard his outburst, but my mind and body are numb, he is swearing again, I almost didn't heard him, the message was clear in my head, but it doesn't hurt, not enough, but it's clear.

'I don't care anymore.'

Slowly but surely, the thought has moved through my now, clouded brain.

"Give the bottle to me." He said calm but in the same time, he seemed to try very hard to restrain another outburst.

I looked at him, at his stretched hand, and I walked away, out of the room, but I could still hear his voice even when I was close to the entrance's door.

"Come back!"

No matter what he said after that, his voice was too far to hear it. I was already on the street so quick that I hardly realized, and it seemed like the clouds were gathering before my eyes, and above my head.

'Why am I doing this again?'

…..

I stared at the closed door; I just looked at the door because my legs cannot be moved. I can't remember the last time I felt so confused. I can't remember the last time when something has made me feel in this horrible way, that I can't move and all that I can do it's to look at the closed door.

I didn't dare to close my eyes or to sigh, even if that is what I wanted to do, to calm down for at least a second, but instead, my lungs have screamed when I have begun to run outside, until I was on the street ,in front the block, but there was no one who looked like him.

Nevertheless, I continued to run to nowhere, right and left, forward and back, searching with my eyes, desperate.
'Where?' I asked in my mind but there was no answer until I saw black hair and pale skin.

I immediately ran with all the energy that remained in me, and finally, I touched his shoulder.

"Sas…?"

I stared at a confused and unfamiliar face.

'It's not him! It's not him! It's not him…'

I thought loud, but I didn't say a word to the outside world, while I stood right in that place, now staring at a man who has walked away and that ignores me and then after one second, a stranger who has forgotten about my existence for eternity.

I am in the middle of an immense crowd of strangers, like mice, they move, run, breath, but they never look back.

'Why?'

I started to run again, and I entered in his apartment, again, and with my back against the entrance door, I tremble, and I put my hands in my blond hair, almost ripping it from its root, but I stopped when it has begun to hurt me.

But with my hands still on my head, in my hair, I put my head between my legs.

The floor is cold and hard, my head is spinning with questions, and I wish I could just pick one from the sea that has formed just from questions.

But I am too scared, and too far from being able to be selective.

'Why it's happening again?'

I asked myself after I stood in the same position for more than I could estimate.

I've felt something on my leg, and I've immediately looked up to see the cat that has been, also, left behind.

Even so, Felix didn't seem affected; she looked calm and seems to understand what it's happening to me.

Or at least, that is what I thought, when I looked into her calm eyes.

But just then, I wonder how the cat sees me, how desperate I might look, or how pathetic.

"And I swore that I won't ever be like this again."

I spoke out loud to Felix, that didn't move an inch. Instead, I picked her up, and I embraced her and she didn't resist, like she already knew that I needed someone to tell me that I am still on this earth, that I'm still able to breathe air, and that I can still change something.

But even my mind has begun to throw with red flags; my lungs had just stopped their pain, just to make space for a greater pain to settle down in my very core.

I've embraced the cat tighter than before, and I buried my head in its furry and in my legs in the same time, and within me, I hated myself for how weak I am and more, vulnerable again.

'How could I be abandoned for the third time?'

To be continued…

Short? The shortest? Yes. But this time, you can say that something begins to happen. And from the middle, it's from Naruto's point of view, yes, I really wanted to be just from one's point of view but I just couldn't think of a better way to do it, you mostly hear about each other's past just when you are in the other's point of view. I mean, now we are Naruto and we will learn about Sasuke.

That's it. Anyway, I think that there will be 5 chapters of one's point of view and then the next 5 of the other. It had been 5 of Sasuke, now it's Naruto's turn.

I really feel bad because I left it like that and that it turned out this short but I just felt like it should end like this. I had a writer's blockage, and no time, not to mention, I am emotionally …down. Just tell me your opinion 'cause it will make me feel better, I feel like I should encourage my readers to tell me their opinion, so I made a little suspense.

I didn't get a review for some time and it begins to upset me….

Well, anyway, until next time, thank you, for all of my readers that are still with me, if something bothers you (but not my grammatical or spelling mistakes 'cause I'm incurable) I will answer to any question with the best that I can and I will explain what can be explained.

Thank you.