I'm not sober all the time, I stay so I can be found, I'm always here,
But when I wake up too early it means that I had another nightmare.

I'm not sad all the time, but I have a talent for remembering the past times,
Which have hurt me, made me cry, almost killed me, but never the happy ones.

I'm not ironic all the time, just when I'm brought down by the unfair world,
And I just don't know how to shut up, or so I was told.

I'm not silent all the time, just when my world is made of black,
And my lips are glued to my thoughts, someone's words are what I lack.

I'm not sober all the time, but even when I dream I continue to listen, until I feel too tense...
Hoping to hear your voice, that you'll save me, but every single time I listen, I hear...
I hear...
I hear..

…... silence.

Chapter 8: Fear of silence

Please, anything, you can ask anything you want." He said, and I spoke:

"I have one question." I said, and he seemed even more attentive as he spoke:

I looked into his eyes that still had small red veins that I guess that they had something to do with the smell of alcohol he had when he came back that when he embraced me, it was impossible not to notice.

"Ask me." He said.

So, I smiled, a small fake smile while I asked him:

"Why did you come back?"

He seemed troubled by my question, even confused, while I waited for him to find his words.

"I left because...of someone from my past who knows of this apartment and who wanted to come back ... I was afraid that he will come back, and without thinking, I just ran away. And I..."

Within his explanation which came out rather complicated for him to say, he stopped after almost every single word, and in the end, I stopped him:

"I don't care why you've left." I heard myself saying, as if the words aren't mine, as if I am not the one who's saying them, but I continued, ignoring the unknown feeling.

"Why did you come back?" I asked him, and I watched, while he closed his eyes and then, with his eyes still closed, he answered me:

"I don't know." He said and then he continued with his eyes open:

"Celine told me that I am a coward, that you are waiting for me...that you're desperate, and...I don't know." He finished with his eyes attentive at me.

I think he didn't realize that while speaking, he grabbed my left hand tight, as if he was confessing.

But he realized when I took my hand back, releasing it from his grip, and just then, I spoke:

"Don't try to force me into your mess, you didn't came back for me, you came back for yourself." I whispered, and even I could hear the venom in my voice.

"That's what I'm telling you! I don't know why I came back! But I don't regret it! Narut..." He begun, from yelled words, to a whisper filled with worry which was just my name, a whisper which has been told when I rose up from my spot, and I begun to take off my clothes, or what I thought about them, his clothes.

Still, he also rose up when he understood, and he even put his hands on mine to stop me from taking off my blouse, his blouse, which was pulled just halfway.

"What are you doing?" He asked me with a dead tone, a voice from a tomb.

"Leaving. What? You think you're the only one who's allowed to leave?" I asked in a mocking tone.

"Why?" He asked with his dead voice. He even closed his eyes after.

I can't tell if it's because of anger or worry.

"Why do you even care? I'm a stranger, you're a stranger! I don't want to live with someone like you!" I said, mostly yelled, and his hands have fallen by his sides, slowly but surely.

'This doesn't sounds right...I've been too harsh, maybe?' I thought, and I ignored his eyes, eyes which hold a message, but I can't understand it.

I took off the blouse, and thrown it on the couch.

I walked to the bathroom, almost ran, and I took my old clothes which are put in a plastic bag, already washed but somehow, hidden.

I've put them on, with the bathroom door open, though, in the back of my mind, I knew he is still in the middle of the living room.

And when I finished, I made two steps out of the bathroom, and I looked just to confirm my thoughts.

'He's not moving.' I thought, quietly, somehow alarmed but I said nothing.

I've put my right hand on the knob of the entrance door, but after I stared at my hand, I looked back at him, his back facing me.

'What am I doing?' I asked myself, but I refused to answer.

And just when I've pulled the knob to open the door, I felt something at my feet.

Felix, staring at me, with two worried eyes. She knows what I'm doing; it's not hard to figure it out, after all.

'Why do I already feel guilty?' Another question, but the last one, as I opened the suddenly heavy door, knowing that its sound will haunt me, opened and then closed, its sound echoed through the whole apartment, through the most unreachable and dense silence.

Heavy steps are carrying me to nowhere. After all, I have no home, I have nowhere to go, and I no longer have someone who can welcome me in its house.

'I no longer have...' I thought, bitterly.

I just arrived at the boundary, the steps of the block's entrance; it took just seconds to get here, maybe one minute at least, but no more.

However, the weather also wants to stop me from leaving, or so it sounds for me. The thunders and the rain's song echoing all around, on the now, empty streets.

Which are welcoming me how they know best, with no one but me on them. Alone.

Even so, I sat myself on the first step, the ceiling which is still covering me where I stay, protecting me from the angry rain.

Or maybe the rain isn't angry, it seems sad, just the thunder scares me a little.

The lighting and the thunder are like pain. With its power, grace and fury, it strikes. Once it's enough to light the whole sky. And so it's the pain, one scar, one word, and just one single feeling can make your whole heart to cry in aches, to slow your breathings, and to almost make you feel like you've died.

It's enough for the sound of the thunder to make your heart stop for a second, and for the lighting to make its dance until it arrives to earth, to light your whole being, to cut you open, in two, its tentacles spreading pure, irremediable, and astonishing pain.

'It no longer matter that I regret what I've done, it's already done.' I thought and closed my eyes while I walked on the steps which are leading me at empty streets, at the unmerciful wind and in the pouring rain.

'At pain.'

One more step and the rain washed me, looking up at the sky with my eyes closed, I felt...

'Cold.' I thought alarmed as I felt one hand on my right shoulder, as I immediately twisted myself to look at the owner.

To see a man standing before me, with his hand still on my shoulder, a smirk embracing his lips, as he spoke to me from under the hood:

"You know if the writer, Uchiha Sasuke lives in this block?"

The question has shot the noise of the rain, of the wind and even of the thunder, making everything numb.

His voice was everything I heard, as if the rest was embraced by silence.

To be continued…

Sorry, suspense it's my second name (kidding).

But anyway, you have to wait until next time which will probably be in two weeks because I decided to do a chapter once two weeks, just one week it's getting hard and I also tend to miss my deadline as you see and it's better so I can actually do it right.

However, I want to thank Akirakun17 for its review, the sad parts will continue a little bit though I hope you'll like happy ones too or at least funny ones 'cause I want to also do that but later. And yes, it has been revenge in some way as I narrated, hope you're happy with it and maybe you didn't want to but you also gave me this idea while I read your review so I really thank you from the bottom of my heart, I really hope I didn't disappoint you though I leave it at a suspense again…sorry.

So, sasunaruhugznkisses, I hope you're still reading and I hope I also didn't disappoint you, you didn't said anything for a while, I am a bit worried.

Also, mu149 and skyglazingMaro, the same worry.

For blauherz, I'm sorry if I bored you with my long descriptions then, I just wanted to describe the apartment and it got the best out of me, or mostly, my worse, I just wanted you readers to know everything around and I also like to imagine but it just happened that way, I mostly felt the need to do so because we will stay in this apartment for a long time. But again, I sincerely apologize to you and I hope you're still reading.

I hope nobody is offended by me responding to the reviews here, but I'm really grateful for them, it makes me work harder and I really feel happy when someone says that it likes what I write.

Still, sorry for this short chapter and see you next week, I also want to announce that I have a poll, if anybody is interested, your opinion matters very much to me for this story and in that poll.

Again, thank you.