**As I told the readers of my other SVU story, I can't explain how sorry I am for not updating, so I'm just going to say it simply...I'm sorry! You get to decide how sorry I actually am! My work has me absolutely swamped 98% of the time and the other 2% of the time, all I do is sleep. But, it's 2:20am here and I was damned and determined to finish this chapter for yall :)

This chapter starts out with a flashback! I figured I'd let yall see why exactly Olivia left :) So this chapter has a couple of flashbacks, back to "that night" along with a few sweet present day parts. Hope yall enjoy! Review please please please!

Don't own them!

September 18, 2007

"You did what?" Olivia yelled through clenched teeth. Her voice was overheard across the entire squad room as her partner stood at his desk, hands on the edge and his head bowed. He knew he had screwed up. "You have no fucking right to do that shit!" Earning stares from every pair of eyes in the room, Olivia shook her head as she ran a hand through her hair.

Olivia knew that she had to leave. She knew that if she didn't leave right then, Cragen was going to have to send her home and it wasn't going to be pretty. Quickly snatching her coat from the back of her desk chair, her eyes glared over at Elliot as she left the squad room. "Liv!" he called out, wanting to make it right, but he just didn't know how.

Walking out of the precinct, she quickly flinched as the cool rain pelted her visible skin. At that very moment, she couldn't care any less about being drenched, catching pneumonia, and dying. She had had it with everything in her life, including Elliot Stabler.

Alex had left, Casey had left, Fin and Much were…well, Fin and Munch. She had nobody. Her best friend, her partner…he betrayed her trust. He went behind her back and did something he promised never to do.

As she began to walk, Olivia wasn't sure where she was heading. All she knew was that she had to get away from everything. After walking a couple of blocks, she looked up into a flashing neon light. "What better way to drown my sorrows than in a fifth of tequila…" she asked herself out loud.

Back at the squad room, Elliot sat at his desk, head in hands, and tried to reason with himself. He had done the right thing…right? He had to do it, otherwise it could've been bad for Olivia. Maybe he should've just gone home to his wife and daughters like he did every other night. Maybe he should've told himself he didn't give a shit just one more time and ignored everything pulling him towards her.

"You good, Stabler?" Fin asked as he shut his locker in the squad room.

Elliot didn't move. His eyes stayed on the picture on his desk. It was a picture of Kathy and him with Maureen and Kathleen on Christmas day. That wasn't the picture he was staring at, though. Behind the picture of his beautiful family was a picture of two people. Two people that were so extremely happy, there was no way for that happiness to be captured by a single picture.

He didn't even have to look at the picture…he knew it inside and out, every line, every shade, every smile. A couple of years prior to that day, someone had snapped a picture at a Christmas party. A single picture held one of his favorite memories of his life.

Olivia had on a shimmery black dress with one strap as she laughed. Someone had pushed her onto Elliot's lap, forcing the two to take a picture together. As Olivia laughed, Elliot's eyes traced every feature of her face as his Stabler-grin flashed the camera. Her eyes, her curls, her smile…everything about her was perfect to him. Everything.

Keeping the picture hidden was a moment of ingeniousness on Elliot's part. Kathy saw it once and nearly had a stroke, automatically accusing Elliot of "sleeping with that perfect little slut." Elliot was dying for the day when he wouldn't have to hide the picture behind a forced marriage with two children who were only born to keep the family together. Not that he would ever tell his daughters that, but it was the truth.

Elliot knew something had to give, whether it was good or bad. He didn't know if he needed to push or pull, but he was going to do one or the other. Grabbing his coat off of the back of his chair, he began leaving the squad room. The stares from the other dozen people in the room was never a concern as he disappeared from their view.

Present Day

Olivia came out of the bathroom with wet hair and a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. With a smile, Elliot looked up from his magazine and chuckled. Olivia Benson had never appeared so domestic, nor as beautiful, as she did at that very moment.

"What?" she mumbled, stuffing her dirty clothes into her bag on the end of the bed. Looking back up, she moved her bag to the floor and continued brushing her teeth before she walked back towards the bathroom.

"Nothing," Elliot lied with a grin.

After she disappeared back into the bathroom, Olivia quickly reappeared and flipped the bathroom light off. As she sat on "her" side of the bed, she pulled a bottle of lotion out of the bag on the floor. Pretending to read his magazine, Elliot watched as her shoulder blades moved while she applied the lotion to her legs. Her tank top gave him a perfect view of her olive skin as her muscles moved.

Sliding up ever so slightly, Olivia's tank top began to give away one of her secrets. "Liv?" he asked, staring over at the exposed skin between her pajama bottoms and the bottom of her tank top.

"Hmm?" she asked, looking over at him with raised eyebrows.

"What else has changed while you were gone? Any drastic changes to your body?" Elliot's eyes glanced between the magazine and her skin.

"No…" she replied, confused. With her eyes narrowed, she shook her head. "Why?"

"I just thought I saw something. Don't worry about it," he told her, still praying for her tank top to lift just a little bit more.

"What'd you see?" she asked, throwing her lotion on top of her bag and turning to look at him some more.

"Don't worry about it," he nearly insisted. He really didn't want to seem like a sex fiend so quickly for being caught staring at her skin.

"Tell me, El," she insisted right back, lying on her side to face him in the bed.

With a shy grin, Elliot tossed his magazine on the nightstand and smiled down at Olivia. "I thought I saw a tattoo on your back," he admitted. With curving lips, Olivia rolled to her stomach and then onto her other side. "Great…" Elliot thought to himself. "I already pissed her off."

Olivia slid a hand to her side and pulled the bottom of her tank top up about six inches. Elliot looked over and saw four numbers on her skin. "6313," he read out loud. His heart sank. "You tattooed my badge number on you?" he asked, his eyes pinched together.

Rolling back over to face him, Olivia's face was beginning to become flushed. "I didn't want to let go of you," she bashfully admitted. "When I left, I didn't take very much at all. I started over with pretty much everything," she told him as he easily moved himself to lie in the bed next to her. "I had a suitcase, my cell phone, and a picture of you."

As his blue eyes found her brown ones in the dim light, Elliot reached and brushed a hand through her hair, cupping her cheek before he removed it from her completely. "I can't believe it's been three years," he whispered, looking down as she put her hand in his on top of the pillow between them.

"You were the hardest addiction to break," she told him, tears filling her eyes again.

"You weren't so easy to get over either," he assured her, his thumb rubbing the back of her hand.

Without warning, Olivia grabbed the pillow between them and threw it off the end of the bed, moving herself closer to him, being careful to not hit his leg. His arms snaked around her as he inhaled her scent. "Please don't leave again," he asked, his lips brushing against her forehead.

Olivia decided not to reply as she curled her arms up between their chests, Elliot's hand running across her back. She didn't want to rock the boat so quickly after she just got back on it.

September 18, 2007

Walking out of the precinct, Elliot didn't flinch at all when the rain hit his face. He was numb and the rain wasn't going to change that. His mind was running a thousand miles an hour, wondering where she could've been. She had been gone an hour before he had left, and that meant she could be a million different places by now.

"I'm overthinking this," he thought to himself. Looking down the street, he automatically knew where she was. Elliot followed the neon light until he reached out of the door handle, his heart dropping with every step.

As he stepped in the smoke-filled bar, music jolted through his skin while he looked around. He finally glanced into the corner booth…Olivia's booth. Yep. She was there. He wasn't sure if he should approach her or not, but he knew there was no need in wasting time debating with himself.

Olivia, who was already three sheets to the wind, rolled her eyes as she looked up. As Elliot approached the Booth, she took one last shot of tequila and stood up quickly, which wasn't as smart of an idea as originally thought. She caught herself as Elliot reached out to help her. "Liv," he whispered, stabilizing her on her feet.

"Leave me alone, jackass," she slurred, jerking her arm out of his hand. She reached in her pocket, threw a twenty dollar bill on the table, and walked towards the door. Stumbling back onto the sidewalk, Olivia's head began to spin as she heard the bar door shut behind her. "Just go away!" she yelled behind her, the rain hitting her skin yet again.

"If you'd quit being so fucking stubborn, I'm trying to apologize!" he yelled back, grabbing her arm and spinning her around to face him.

Along with the spin, Olivia's hand met Elliot's face. "Don't touch me!" she yelled.

"Liv, I'm not letting you walk sixteen blocks like this," he informed her, taking her arm again. "Hit me all you want."

"I'm fine…" she slurred, attempting to pull herself free of his grip. "And what the hell were you thinking?" she asked, spinning around as she pointed a finger towards him. Her brown eyes were narrowed and eyebrows pinched together.

"Liv…" he pleaded with a sigh.

"No! No, Elliot!" she demanded. "I deserve an answer! After how many fucking years of being your partner, you decide you can't trust me? I'm not a little girl, Elliot!" she yelled.

Earlier that evening, Olivia found out that Elliot had requested for Finn to go with him to apprehend a dangerous suspect instead of Olivia.

Elliot looked up, letting the rain wash down his face. "I had my reasons, Liv. And they're not because I didn't trust you," he tried to promise her. However, Drunk Olivia wasn't having any part of that excuse.

"Oh, no…no, no, no…" she shook her head. "You do not get to play the I-have-an-answer-but-I'm-not-telling-you card! That's such a copout!"

"Do you ever think that there's another explanation for something that what your stubborn ass is thinking?" he yelled, catching her as she stumbled again. She fell against a chain-length fence as Elliot put an arm on each side of her head, pressing against the fence. "Dammit, Olivia! That guy was dangerous! Do you not get that? He has been known to shoot anybody that stands in his way…men, women, children…" he had had enough.

Watching as the rain fell down his face, Olivia's eyes narrowed. "I can handle myself, Elliot!" she yelled back.

"I wasn't worried about you handling yourself, Liv! Have you…" he paused, looking down then back up into her eyes. "Dammit! Have you ever stopped to think that maybe I was trying to protect you? That I took Finn because, as shitty as it is, he means a lot less to me than you do. If he would've been shot, I could've moved on. If you…Dammit, Liv!" he yelled, more angry at himself than anyone. "If you would've gone and gotten shot…" his voice quieted down slightly.

Still backed against the fence as Elliot, Olivia's heart began to drop as her drunk-self was beginning to comprehend what was going on. She watched as Elliot's eyes traced every feature of her face over and over again.

"I can't live without you, Olivia," he admitted, bowing his head beside hers.

Reaching up a hand, Olivia lifted his head up to look at her again. "You don't have to live without me," she promised, her eyes burning into his.

Without another word spoke between the two, Elliot's lips were pressed against hers with extreme force as she was pushed back into the fence even more. His tongue slid against her lips, spreading them apart as opposed to waiting for permission. His body pressed against hers as her hands found their way to his soaking wet hair, grabbing handfuls at a time.

Present Day

The next morning, Elliot woke up to something shaking his side of the bed. Looking over with half-open eyes, he smiled as he saw the toddler standing next to the bed. "Daddy!" she whisper-yelled.

With a chuckle, he put his finger up to his lips. Carefully getting himself out of the bed, case on his leg included, Elliot took Emma's hand and hobbled to the hallway, shutting the bedroom door behind himself. "Morning, princess," he told her, swooping her up in his arms.

Emma giggled, her brown curls bouncing on her head as he carefully walked from the bedroom to the kitchen. "I hungries, daddy," she informed him as he sat her on the kitchen counter.

"You are?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "I don't hear your stomach growling!" he argued with the three-year-old. Seeing her face get flustered, Elliot laughed and kissed Emma on the top of her head. "What would you like to eat, madam?"

"Eggs and bacon!" she told him with a duh-look on her face.

"How about," he poked her stomach causing her to giggle again, "We make you some breakfast and then make mommy breakfast in bed?" he suggested.

"Momma said not eat in bed," she informed him with her hands on her hips.

"I think mommy will have to get over it just this one time," Elliot chuckled. "You wanna see if some cartoons are on the tv while I fix you some eggs and bacon, princess?"

"Yes, please!" Emma asked, shooting her arms in the air for Elliot to pick her up again.

Taking her in the living room, Elliot hobbled back to the kitchen and began to quietly make breakfast for his youngest daughter. Before too long, he had a small plate of bacon and eggs prepared just for Emma. Once she had eaten, Elliot sat her on the counter and had her help make breakfast.

"Can you stir these?" he asked, sitting a bowl full of cracked eggs on the counter beside her.

"Yes sir," she replied, being careful not to spill any out of the bowl. Once he had the bowl back, Elliot dumped the eggs into the pan. "Daddy?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, princess?" he asked, smiling over at her.

"Is you gonna marry momma?" she asked, plain as day.

Shocked, Elliot looked over at her with a chuckle as he stirred the eggs. "You sure are a persistent little thing, aren't you?" he asked, more to himself than to her. "Why are you asking that again, sweetheart?"

"Cuz mommas and daddies spose'ta be married," she reasoned, watching his every move.

"Well, that's something for mommy and daddy to talk about, princess. And something you shouldn't be worried about," he told her with a smile, kissing her forehead. "Now, let's get this food on a plate!" he told her with excitement.

After putting the food on a plate, he found a tray along with a vase and a small flower to put in it. Very carefully and easily, Elliot carried the tray down the hallway, despite the case on his leg, and looked behind him at Emma. "Open the door for me, princess!" he whispered.

Running ahead, Emma opened the door and ran to the bed, climbing on it and shaking her mom's arm. Groaning, Olivia rolled over and smiled as she saw the little girl. "Morning, baby," she told Emma, pulling her into her arms.

"Momma! Es bekfust in bed!" she announced as Elliot approached the bed.

"Whoa, what? Breakfast in bed?" Olivia asked with a grin, slowly sitting up in the bed.

"Daddy says you gotta deal wif eatin' bekfust in bed," Emma told her matter-of-factly, earning a chuckle from both of her parents.

"I think I can deal with it," Olivia laughed, pulling the covers over the lower half of her body as Elliot placed the tray on top of her legs. Looking up at him with her chocolate eyes, she smiled. "Thank you," she told him softly.

With a grin, Elliot nodded. "My pleasure, baby."