Meeting My Daughter's Boyfriend –Jake Long

It was happening again, he was going to have to deal with another daughter and their stupid choices in guys. At least Alyssa found someone who she could relate too and at least she found someone who wasn't a punk ass without a future. Seriously, he was beginning to hate himself for all those years of the Death Threats against Johnny, whom he was now officially proud to call son in-law. Not this little fucker. You ever see those teenage boys who wear their pants around their feet when they walk and show everyone their ass crack? Well this kid embodied them all. Yeah, it was every father's dream to know what kind of boxers their teenage daughter's boyfriend was wearing, "So, Jordon, where do you think you'll be taking Rachel tonight?"

"I don't know," The blond haired punk shrugged towards Rose, "Somewhere good you know. It'll have a roof and seats …"

Turning her back to Jordon and Rachel, Rose rolled her eyes at her husband and made a facial expression towards him. Jake nodded and looked at the floor between his second eldest daughter and the little shit she was dating, "Well, you know the rules Rach, do you care repeat them for me?"

"10:30, No sex below the neck and don't get arrested," Rachel groaned from embarrassment, but she soon looked up into her mother's face and smiled sheepishly, "No killing anything, that includes ourselves, bicyclists, animals and the occasional homeless person. No getting drunk, no getting high."

Jake nodded, "Don't try to get away with anything too, or you'll get to spend two lovely weeks in this apartment without seeing the light of day."

"Yes daddy," Rachel answered in a submissive tone, "May we go now?"

Grinning, he turned to his wife, "No, me and your mom want to speak to Jordon here privately, run along and shave something while you're waiting."

Squeezing her eyes shut, Rachel nodded and stalked out of the hall towards the kitchen. That left the most intimidating sight that young Jordon had ever seen in his life. The beautiful but somewhat terrifying Mrs. Long and the very intimidating Mr. Long. Rachel had told him of what they had done to her sister's husband when she had begun to date him and he wondered if he'd be getting out of the Long Apartment in one piece, "So dream date, I take it you will treat my daughter with at little respect tonight, you know pulling her chair out for her, opening the door for her, complementing her…"

"…Pulling up your damn pants," Jake sneered at the boy, "Must you show everyone you meet your ass?"

Jordon blushed deep red and pulled his hands up to his waist. Well, Jake didn't expect him to wear them over his stomach, but the waist was a good start and it prevented him from getting flashed. Turing to Rose, he watched as his wife of nearly fifteen years, smiled kindly at the boy and reached over to pat his shoulder, "I know Rachel told you of the way I treat my family, so here's my one warning too you. If you think I'm some uptight crazy bitch as your girlfriends mother, think about what kind of a pain in this ass I'll be when I'm your mother in-law and you father my Grandchildren? So here's the deal, if you kiss my daughter, if you make out with her, you do not go south of the border do you understand me kid, do I make myself clear to you?"

Jake couldn't help but smile, god he loved his wife when she started acting crazy, "Y-yes Mrs. Long, I won't try anything."

"Good," Rose winked subtly at Jake, "Because I know where you live and if you don't have my daughter home by exactly 10:30, I'll go to your home, beat the hell out of your mother and tell her that she needs to remind you on the proper etiquette of taking a girl out, are we clear again Jordon?"

The boy nodded, this time Jake could see sweat forming on his forehead, good, "Yes Mrs. Long, look you two may think I look like I'm just some punk …"

"May?" Jake spat out. He couldn't help it, he'd be this way with Rachel's future boyfriends and don't get him started with Kailey.

"…But these are just my leisure clothes," Jordon chose to ignore the mocking voice of Jake, "I'll take real good care of Rachel tonight, she's special to me."

Rose nodded as she took a deep breath, "That's good kid, oh and I was kidding about that whole beating the hell out of your mother thing…"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his wife's fingers crossed behind her back and he had to control a snicker, "I'll know where to find you and I'll do it to you…"

"Not to mention after she gives what's left of you too me …" Jake growled at the boy.

"Come on Jordon," Rachel said as she left the kitchen with her jacket arranged over his arm, "I want to get out of here before it gets really late."

Jordon nodded and took Rachel's hand, "Come on let's get the hell out of here."

"10:30 guys," Rose said as the door to their apartment opened and shut quickly. Making sure that his daughter was securely down the hall, he turned to Rose and grimaced.

"Oh we have just got to invite that little bitch over more often," Jake commented as they made their way back into the living room.

Rose nodded and stuck her nose up in the air to speak in a mockingly haughty accent, "He makes our other kids look less odd…"

"I don't need old age man," Jake said as he ran his hand through his hair, "My daughters and their boyfriends will kill me before father time does."

"Oh you should see the little girl talks I have with DJ's dates before they leave," Rose snickered, "I put the fear of god into them."

He looked over at Rose and raised an eyebrow, "When did we start ruining our children's lives?"

"The moment that started calling us Mommy and Daddy," Rose smiled as they sat down on their couch, "Because as you know, I'm not in it for the kids, I'm in it to torture them."

The former American Dragon smiled and leaned forward to kiss his wife, "Amen to that baby, Amen to that …"

Authors Note: How did you like it? This is what this story will be consisting of, little funny tidbits like this. Albeit a few will get a few dramatic and violent, but that's far down the road

Next up: How will Alyssa deal with the fact that she's supposed to bake a three hundred muffins for her daughter's school bake sale – the night before the bake sale itself?

Please leave me a review and tell me what you think