Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean. If I did, I promise you I would be disgustingly rich. Which I'm not.

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"Please," the young doctor said politely, gesturing towards the obligatory psychologist's chair, "do sit down, Mr. Cotton." She herself sank into a big, comfy swivel-chair and she placed her clipboard on her lap.

"Now, Mr. Cotton," she began, reaching towards a nearby desk to grab a pen, "I'm glad to say you seem to be one of the more... Sane crew members on Jack Sparrow's ship."

"Squawwwk! Weigh anchor, you lubbers!"

"Excuse me. Captain Jack Sparrow." Madeleine rolled her eyes, giving a small sigh. This 'captain' obession was rather annoying. "Anyway, there is one issue I believe I must address. Mr. Cotton, it is not polite to stare at women!"

"Squawk! Hoist the mainsail!"

"Mr. Cotton, I understand that you don't mean any harm, but, well... Due to the fact that you can't speak -"

"Squawk! Shiver me timbers!"

"I know that, but not everyone can understand you. When you go around staring at women, they, well... They get the wrong impression. Now I understand that you don't mean anything by it, and I understand what you say, but not everyone does. So just... be careful, alright?"

"Ahoy, matey!"

Madeleine grinned a wide, satisfied grin. "That's the spirit, Mr. Cotton! Now go out there -" Mr. Cotton rose from his seat "- and show those young women you're not a perverted old man!" No! Bad! She wasn't supposed to say that! Sure, it was in her notes, but a good psychiatrist doesn't always let their patient know the truth of their condition. Especially when their condition was being a perverted old guy.

"Squawk, walk the plank!"

"Thank you very much for your time, Mr. Cotton." Madeleine stood up, hastily pushing the man towards the door. "I hope you solve your problems, come again!" And she shoved him out into the waiting room. Cotton gave her an icy stare, his parrot gave another squawk, and he assumed his former place beside Mr. Gibbs.

The room was once again silent for a long moment, no one knowing what to say. Mr. Cotton, obviously, was not able to put his session properly into words, and the rest of the group knew not what to ask.

Madeleine soon reappeared from her office, poking her head out from behind the door.

"Oh, Mr. Beeeeeck-eeeeett!" she called in a taunting sing-song voice, smirking slyly to herself.

The man straightened up in his chair, wide-eyed. "Umm... Yes, Dr. Madeleine?"

Her smirk only widened. "You're next."

Lord Beckett gulped, glancing around the room quickly for some sort of comfort or condolence from his fellow patients. All he received, however, was a snicker from Miss Swann and an unpleasant grin from Captain Sparrow. "Enjoy yourself, mate," the Captain teased as Mr. Beckett crossed the room towards the office. Madeleine opened the door wider, waving for him to come inside and giving a sickly-sweet smile.

"Do have a seat, Mr. Beckett," Madeleine said, closing the door and sitting down in her chair. She was silent for a long time, allowing the man to grow quickly more nervous as the seconds passed.

"Now," she said abruptly, placing her clipboard down on her lap, "what I have to say will shock you. Because I'm sure you're the kind of person who doesn't like taking advice from anyone, am I right?"

Silence.

"Anyway, Mr. Beckett, I'm afraid you have a bit of a superiority complex. Actually, more like a lot of one. So what you should -"

"Me? A superiority complex! Don't be absurd! Why should I believe a girl who isn't a qualified psychiatrist? Or even half my age? This is absolutely ridiculous! Why -"

"MR. BECKETT!" Madeleine roared, once more tightening her grip on her clipboard, prepared to wield it as a weapon should the situation grow violent. "You also have a disgusting habit of interrupting people when they're talking, and, quite frankly, I'm growing rather sick of it! The first step in overcoming your problem is to stop -"

"I don't have to stop doing anything! I don't have a problem! I don't have to listen to you! I -"

Having endured enough of his interrupting, Madeleine took her clipboard in both hands, lifted it up and whacked Mr. Beckett smartly on the head. He gave a muffled groan before falling over on his side in the low couch-like chair that all psychiatrists seem to have in their offices.

Madeleine just sat where she was, shaking her head and sighing. "Oh, Lord, Lord, Lord... What have I gotten myself into?"

- x - x - x -

Author's Note: Chapter two. I put in the thing with Cotton and women because in several parody-type stories poor Mr. Cotton was looked upon as the "perverted old man." Dr. Madeleine may one day help him overcome that! Yay!

Um.. cough

Reviewers get chocolate.

Oh, and um... After this chapter I won't be able to update for a while. I'm going away tomorrow for a week.