"Ma! MA!" Israel hollered. He stood in the doorway of their cabin clutching a small raccoon. "Ma!" He looked all around. "MA!" He yelled again. Finally, she peered over the edge of the loft.

"What is it Israel?" She asked. Her voice was flat. She wasn't even irritated that he'd been hollering in the cabin. She didn't notice the raccoon in his arms.

"I was just wondering . . ." He realized she wasn't really paying attention to him. "Never mind, Ma. What are you doing?"

"Cleaning." She replied and turned back to her work in the loft.

"Don't throw out my rocks, okay Ma?" He turned to go saying quietly. "I'll just take care of this raccoon here, since you don't seem to mind." He thought he'd feel happy about being able to sneak in a new pet, but instead he felt strangely sad.

Katie Grace was waiting for him on the porch. She raised her eyebrows at him. "Well, she kinda said yes." He answered her.

***DB***

It was just a few days later that they had all gone into the fort together for a social. Rebecca hadn't wanted to go, but Daniel had insisted. They hadn't stayed long - just an hour. Jemima had danced and danced, and it did her father's heart good to see her laughing and smiling. She had become her mother's shadow of late, hovering, protectively near.

Rebecca hadn't danced. Daniel hadn't expected her to. It was too soon, and knowing the town gossips, he thought it a wise choice. She had spoken to several of her friends though, and as they walked home together she'd turned to him and said, "Thank you for making me go." He smiled and took her hand. He thought briefly, "Maybe we will get back to normal.

As they neared the cabin, however, they could see nothing was normal. Israel's pet raccoon had apparently become hungry. He followed his nose straight from the lean-to into the cabin, and he'd brought friends with him. Israel's secret pet, was secret no more. Broken dishes, food everywhere, they'd even shredded one of Becky's quilts. It was a disaster.

Katie seeing the mess, and fearing the worst had climbed under her bed. It took Jemima nearly an hour to coax her out. Israel, meanwhile, cowered, waiting for his mother's temper to flare. She hadn't said a word and simply began to set things right.

It was his Pa, rather who lit into him, "What on earth made you think you could keep a wild thing? Your Ma's told you and told you to let wild things be!" Israel had hung his head and cleaned silently, miserably watching his mother from a distance. Hours later, after they'd finally had the cabin back in order, he'd tipped-toed silently towards his mother who had at last sat down by the fire and rocked Rose to sleep.

"I'm awfully sorry Ma," He said tearfully. She glanced at him absently and said, "Hmm? Oh, sleep well Israel."

Watching her brother, as tears began to roll down his freckled cheeks, Jemima stepped in, and taking his hand said, "Don't fret, Israel. Its all done now. C'mon, I'll read you a bedtime story."

"Night, Pa." She said as she led both Israel and Katie up to the loft. He could hear her soft voice speaking words of comfort to them both, long into the night.

He awoke later to sounds from the front room. He glanced beside him at Rebecca still asleep. Quietly, reaching for Tick-licker, he tip-toed to the front room. He figured Israel's raccoon had come back for a snack. He raised the barrel of his rifle and saw . . .

"Israel!" He set his rifle down. "Son, you nearly got shot." Israel said nothing. Stepping closer, he reached and lifted the small boy's chin. His face was covered in tears. He lifted him into his arms and sat down in the rocking chair by the fire.

"Now, now." He said as Israel cried, "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry Pa. I never should've brought that raccoon home. I knew Ma wasn't listening when I told her about it. I tricked her."

"Now, you already apologized for that, hon. Look around, everything's just fine."

"But Pa, she didn't even yell at me. She didn't say one word. I never thought I'd miss it, but I miss Ma getting mad." He sobbed against his father's chest. Daniel swallowed hard, unable to speak and in that moment could have easily joined in his son's tears.

"Hush, now, son. Hush," was all he could manage.

"An' Pa, she doesn't sing to me or pat my head, or hold on to my hand. An' she hardly ever kisses me - I know I complain when she does, but Pa I miss it!" He cried even harder. "I know I should be patient, but I'm so lonesome." He wailed. Daniel rocked him saying nothing. Finally, Israel's tears abated.

"Israel, you remember that time you broke your wrist?"

"Yes, Pa. I didn't want you or Ma to know about it because I thought if you touched it, it would hurt too much. I ran and hid in that cave for hours."

"Yep, and you missed Phillip John's birthday party too. You sat all alone in the cave, your arm hurtin' something fierce, and all because you thought fixin' it would be worse."

"I was scared, Pa." He said. "It hurt so bad when I fell and broke it. I didn't think I could stand the hurt of it being fixed. A man can only take so much."

Daniel smiled at Israel. "That's true, son. But Israel, your Ma's kind of like that now. Losing your aunt hurt her really badly. Right now, she's hiding in that cave."

"It was lonesome there." Israel said softly.

"Yep. You sat in there protecting yourself from feeling the hurt of getting that arm fixed. But trouble was, that you couldn't feel nothing else either. You didn't get the comfort of your Ma and I, or the fun of your friend's birthday. That's how it is for your Ma too. I guess, maybe, she figures if she holds herself real tight, she won't have to feel sad about losing her sister."

"But she can't feel anything else, either." Israel said understanding.

"That's exactly it." He kissed Israel's head. "Your Ma loves you son, more than anything. She is just too scared to let herself feel it right now. This is a hard time for her. I figure, if we can just be patient and love her all we can, slowly, she'll come out of that cave - just like you did."

Israel nodded. "I guess I'll have to do the hugging, and singing and kissing."

"That's right." He smiled at his boy. "Do you think you can sleep now, hon?" Israel nodded, "Would you play Sweet Talker for a bit, Pa?"

"Sure. You go on up and get under the covers. It's cold." Israel kissed his father and climbed up and into his bed.

Daniel rose slowly, weary. He stoked the fire and turned to pick up his dulcimer. He stopped suddenly when he saw his wife standing behind him. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she had been standing there for quite awhile. He crossed to her. As he did, he realized that he hadn't really looked at her closely in the last few weeks. Looking at her now, he was astonished at how very thin she seemed. Her small face had shrunk even smaller. He took her hands in his. Her fingers were cold. She looked up at him, her blue eyes clouded. She would have stood like that forever -a half step away from him - but he pulled her to him, cutting off the distance between them. "Don't you worry, 'Becca" He said into her hair. "You take your time. I'll still be here."