A/N: Another big thank you to Kerry [bottomblainers(.)] for the outline and idea for this story. Not to mention being my beta as well.

Don't worry friends, we'll find out why Finn left eventually. He does kind of seem like a jerk for leaving her this way, but trust me babies... we all know and love Finn Hudson. He has a good reason... probably. ;) REVIEW! :D

Chapter Two

Rachel looked down at the clock from her spot on the sofa and tried not to sigh. She had twenty minutes until she had to leave and decided it was time to turn off the Food Network and clean herself up. She walked through her bedroom, past the bed that hadn't been slept in since the night before Finn left. She couldn't bring herself to sleep in their bed without him. She truly missed everything about him, his smell, his smile. The way he would kiss her nose or his soft lips. She passed by the bed quickly to go to the closet, pulling out a sweater to change into and a skirt. Her style had improved over the years, but she was still exclusive to skirts.

As she pulled the skirt out something cold and hard fell on her foot. She leaned down to pick up the object, she stood back up slowly, holding the trinket in her hands. It was a silver cufflink. Finn's cufflink.

She remembered the day he was wearing his suit and she had to put them on for him, he looked like a lost little boy. He had no idea what he was doing.

"Baby?" Finn called and Rachel turned the corner quickly to see Finn standing in front of the mirror holding up the object. "I don't get what these are. They look like buttons but… "

Rachel giggled at Finn's confusion and let her hand out in front of her so he could drop them in, "I'll do them for you. These are cufflinks."

"I don't get them." Finn said again with a sigh. "Do I have to wear them?"

Rachel laughed and nodded, "Of course you do. The best man can't be cufflink-less. How foolish would that look?" Rachel teased him as she fiddled with his sleeve.

"Oh right. Totally foolish." Finn chuckled back, looking down at his girlfriend. "This will be us one day you know?" He said it like it was a promise.

"Yeah right." Rachel laughed, "If you ever get the nerve to ask me." She teased. "I'm so happy for Kurt and Blaine."

Finn nodded, grinning down at her, "Me too. And I wasn't lying baby. That's going to be us." He told her again Rachel couldn't help but look up with tears in her eyes.

"I know it will. I trust you, Finn."

Rachel was on the floor now, tears welling in her eyes. She dropped her sweater and held the cufflink to her chest. It was something so small, something insignificant. But it reminded her of her Finn. A guy who would never leave her.

Why did he leave her? It still didn't make sense.

She couldn't get up, she couldn't stand up at all. All she could do was sit there, he knees up to her chest, head buried in her knees. She was a mess. There was nothing hot about it.

Rachel let the tears flow freely and when her phone went off, she knew it was Kurt. She didn't even reach for it, she just listened to go off.

She wanted to punch Finn in the face for leaving her this way, with no explanation. After almost nine years. Nine years.

After what felt like an hour her tears dried up and her stomach was growling so she stumbled to the kitchen to pop some popcorn, because that was the only thing she could think of making. She shimmied out of her clothing and curled up on the couch in just one of Finn's old McKinley shirts that drowned her and underwear. Finn would have loved this, he always loved when she lounged around in less clothing. Apparently not enough.

She curled up on the couch with her popcorn and turned on the news, thinking about how there were people out there that had it harder than her. Her tears seemed all cried out, she had left the cufflink in the kitchen and never wanted to see it again, except she did. She wanted to remember, because it proved that it was real. Because with the way he left, it didn't seem real. It seemed crazy. She seemed crazy. Was the crazy?

BANG! BANG!

"RACHEL BERRY!" Kurt was screaming from the other side of her front door and she dropped her bowl out of shock. "YOU OPEN THIS DOOR!"

Rachel pulled her blanket up to her nose, as if to hide from him.

"Really Rachel? REALLY?"

Rachel sat completely still, she felt foolish. She was ashamed and then she remembered, as she heard the jingle of his keys. Finn had given Kurt a key. When they went to California on a vacation so Kurt could water the plants. The damn plants.

Dammit Finn!

Kurt walked in and walked straight to her place on the couch and glared down at her, hands on his hips, "This ends now." He scolds.

"What?" Rachel cried innocently.

"Your face is covered in mascara, you're eating popcorn for dinner, and I'm sorry you're hurting but I want Rachel Berry back."

Rachel gulped, feeling like she could burst into tears at any moment, "You can't have her. She's gone."

"And where did she go?" He raised his eyebrow in obvious judging.

"You find Finn and she'll come back." Rachel whimpered and put her head in her hands with utter desperation.

Kurt sat next to her, putting his arm around her, "You're Rachel fucking Berry. You can bounce back from this. You can move on. I promise."

Rachel shook her head, "It's too hard, Kurt. I'm physically ill. I seriously can't do this without him."

Kurt took a deep breath and looked around the apartment, all of the black papers covering pictures on them, "You need out of this place." Kurt demanded. "You're sleeping on the couch, hell, this place still smells like him. You need out."

Rachel looked up at Kurt with tears brimming her eyes again, she didn't realize how hard she could cry, and for how long, "Where did he go, Kurt?"

Kurt's mouth went wide, he wanted to tell her, but he didn't know himself. She knew that, she knew it was the case. "He's an idiot." It's all he could say. It was true. It felt true, at least.

Rachel's phone rang from the other room and Kurt stood up to get it. Rachel turned up the TV and ignored Kurt's voice talking on her phone in the other room.

No one knew where he was, he had quit his job, he wasn't in Lima. He wasn't anywhere. She missed him, she was worried about him. And then she felt that familiar feeling in her gut. Twisting and turning. She ran to the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet before her popcorn made a reappearance. She held herself over the toilet and wretched and whimpered. She stood back up she looked at the ghost of her old self in the mirror. Tears in her eyes, mascara on her face and out of breath from the intensity of her illness.

"Rachel?" Kurt knocked on the door.

"One sec." Rachel called back, rinsing her mouth out with water and then with Listerine. She let out a breath and opened the door to see Kurt's smiling face holding up her phone. "What is up with you?"

"That way Ryan. You got the part." Kurt beamed and Rachel gulped back another urge to throw up, only one thing on her mind.

How?