A/N: Hey guys, I hope you're liking the story. Again, not my usual but really nice to write. Not to mention hard as hell. Another chapter is up for you thanks to Kerry(bottomblainers). Such a fabulous person to work with! I'm super grateful for her brilliant idea and outline.

Review, please!

Chapter Three

Rachel breathes as she walks into rehearsal, it's going to be their first read through. She's excited to meet people who didn't know Finn. Kurt was right, she was so unhealthy. Maybe this would be the start of something new.

Not to mention there was a secret part of her that wanted Finn to see her name in lights again, regret leaving and come back. She would let him beg for a bit and then lock him in their bedroom and never let him leave again. But, just a small part.

Kurt didn't need to know about those thoughts, either.

Rachel began to stretch looking down at her sweats, she knew there wouldn't be as much dancing in this play as her others, but she was happy. Or something that resembled happy.

She was cast as Kim in Miss Saigon. The female lead, she knew how to play the agony of a woman who feels abandoned, because she herself feels abandon. Should be a walk in the park.

"It's my Kim, my beautiful Kim." Ryan called from behind her and she spinned around, and he pulled her into an embrace.

"It's good to see you Ry. I'm sor-" Ryan shushed her quickly.

"Oh stop. You were the perfect Kim. Don't ever apologize for being dramatic."

Rachel curled up her lip at his words, she had been called dramatic before but this was not her average melodrama. Her boyfriend of nine years had left her without so much as a kiss goodbye. But, Rachel calmed herself down. Ryan did not know that, did he? And she wouldn't be telling him. She was here to work. Here to play the role that she would fit perfectly in. She was here to…

Throw up?

Rachel ran to the closest garbage can and Ryan's eyes went wide with distaste. Rachel seized over the can and spit and felt hot tears pour over her lids and she knew that something else was wrong. She stood up and wiped her mouth before turning to look at Ryan.

"You're not drunk, are you?" Ryan asked with a disgusted, judgmental look in his eyes.

"O-Of course not. I just, I have a bug or something." Rachel stammered and Ryan shook his head.

"Your understudy will read for you. Go to the doctor, Rachel. I'm telling you. Now."

Rachel nodded and slowly turned around, grabbing her stuff. She closed her eyes as she walked out of the studio, pushing her back against the brick wall. Breathing in and out, slowly, trying to suppress the memory that had been trying to make its' way into her head for days.

"What has gotten into you?" Rachel cried, laughter in her sing-songy voice as Finn pulled her onto the bed and into his lap.

"I just want to be with you tonight. No TV, no talking about Kurt and Blaine. Just you and me tonight." Finn growled into her ear and nipped at it.

Rachel turned her face to his and he left soft kisses all over her face, she giggled, "Did you have a good day?" Rachel teased, he must have if this is what had become of him.

"I don't want to talk about my day. I want to be with you. Right now. That's it." Finn pleaded and Rachel's eyes met his.

It wasn't a tall order and Rachel nodded, "Okay." She said softly, "I can do that."

"Good." Finn grinned, "I want you to know something. Actually a lot of somethings." Finn told her softly and he placed her on the bed next to him, lifting up her shirt to draw circles on her stomach as he spoke, she took the opportunity to kiss his prominent jaw line, mostly because it was just pleading to be kissed. "Like, how you're the only person who really knows me."

"Am I?" Rachel teased, "I need examples, I just don't believe you."

"Like, you know when I'm hungry or when I'm just eating because I'm bored. And you know that I only watch football on Sundays because I always have, but I kind of actually love Hockey. And you always know what song to sing to me to put me in the right mood." Finn explained and Rachel couldn't help but feel butterflies.

"Like, tonight I'm going to sing 'My Man' and you're going to love it." Rachel told him, "Cause you are. Always will be." She promised and he nodded, a flash of pain in his features coming and going just as quickly. "Was I wrong?"

"No. You were so right. I really want you to sing that to me before we go to sleep. Like, that'll be perfect. Seriously." Finn told her, "Also, you know you're really beautiful right? Seriously, never change a thing about you."

Rachel nodded, "Scouts Honor." She said with a chuckle and Finn's face turned serious. "Okay, I promise."

"And one more thing, you know I love you more than anything and I would do anything and everything to protect you, right?" Finn asked with a gulp and Rachel nodded so slowly that she knew it would be hard to tell she was nodding. But, it was Finn. He knew.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Rachel asked, running her hands through his hair.

"Nothing, baby. I just want you to know you're really special." Finn said and then laughed a little, obviously recalling a memory. He put on his best Rachel Berry face and voice and followed it up with, "Wanna know how I know? I'm special too."

"It was talented." Rachel giggled, "You're talented, and I'm talented too."

"We're also both special." Finn amended and Rachel couldn't help but agree.

That was the same night that Finn went down on her for what seemed like ages and then made love to her all night long. That was the night that she never thought she could feel more in love with that man. That was also the last night she would see his face, though she didn't know it then. She wouldn't have slept at all. Not even those two hours. What a waste. She could have been looking at him, making him feel good, making more love to him. Though 3 times was her natural limit, she could have squeezed another in, maybe. If she knew.

Rachel felt the vomit traveling up her throat again and she leaned over and let it pour of her mouth onto the sidewalk. Ryan would flip when he saw it.

Suddenly the realization set it. She needed to get to a Duane Reid right then.

She rushed in and didn't even pay for the pack before rushing off to the bathroom, she pulled out the stick and looked at the instructions. She had never actually taken a home pregnancy test. She was always so good about taking her pills and her period was always right on. With her being late she just assumed it was the stress.

After peeing on the stick and setting it on the counter as she watched her hands she prayed for only one pink line. Only one, please only one.

She looked up from her hands to the stick, "Fuck!" She cried suddenly as she saw the two pink lines daunting her. She pushed it off the counter and stood against the stall, sliding down to the floor.

She was pregnant. With Finn Hudson's child.

This is something she has dreamed about for what? Ten years? Maybe Eleven if she was honest with herself. She had always wanted to have his children. Always. But she wanted them with him.

She gulped and tried to cry but the tears had finally dried up.

"God damn you Finn." She cursed him as she stood up slowly. "God fucking dammit!" Rachel screamed and punched the paper towel dispenser.

This was not Rachel Berry. This was the shell of Rachel Berry. The bloodied hand and the terrible words that were coming out of her mouth showed her that the shell of Rachel Berry was a terrible person, and certainly not someone who should be taking care of a baby.

Her baby.

Their baby.