Chapter Eight

Rachel unlocked the door to her apartment, no, their apartment and allowed a extremely tried Finn inside. He stumbled inside and set down his bag where Rachel had dropped her purse the night before.

Finn looked around the apartment, it looked the same sort of. All of the pictures were still on the wall, with black paper covering the pictures that he is in. Finn's face scrunched up in pain and he reached to take one of the papers off.

The picture he had uncovered was familiar, Rachel laughing in Finn's arms at one of their competitions, Regionals. What was that? Senior Year? No, she had bangs Senior Year. It was Sophomore year. A light smile crossed Finn's face and Rachel crossed his path, taking all of the black papers down. "Why don't you lie down, sweetheart?"

"Don't do that." Finn growled.

Rachel turned and looked almost hurt, "Do what?"

"Don't treat me like I'm a kid." Finn walked over the couch, "Don't call me sweetheart. My Mom calls me that."

Rachel gulped and pursed her lips together in frustration, "Finn, why are you acting like that?"

"I don't want you trying to take care of me." Finn shouted suddenly, "this is what I didn't want. I didn't want you treating me differently. I didn't want to me sick Finn needing Rachel to come to his God Damn rescue. Jesus!"

Rachel stomped over to him, "You don't want to be sick Finn? That's fine. Stand the fuck up."

"Rachel?"

"STAND UP!" Rachel again.

Finn groaned but stood up slowly leaning his hand on the back of the couch for balance, "Rach, I'm tired and-" Rachel slapping him in the stopped him from talking and he was sitting back down again from the shock and sting, grabbing his face.

"What the hell?" Finn yelled at her.

"You didn't want to be treated like you were sick, that is what you get for leaving me for seven months." Rachel breathed heavily, "That and this." She pointed at her stomach, "I stopped taking my birth control after you left, I'm assuming that is why this happened." She took another deep breath and sat next to him and he looked down at her, sweating from the walk to the apartment and more tired than ever, "I won't call you sweetheart or sweetie or anything like that. Not even dear. Promise."

Finn nodded and pulled her into him softly, "I'm sorry I yelled."

"I'm sorry I slapped you." Rachel whispered into his chest and it felt good to have her close to him again. He looked down at her small figure and her big belly pressing into him. He hesitantly lifted his hand to her stomach and began to rub it softly.

"Are you going to keep him?" Finn whispered, "Even when I'm-"

"Finn!" Rachel cut him off quickly, "We need to talk about that."

"Rach, I'm tired." Finn groaned.

"No sick Finn, I thought?" Rachel through his words back in his face and he frowned. Why'd she have to be so smart. Finn nodded for her to go on, "Okay, Let's talk about the surgery."

"I am not doing the surgery." Finn retorted immediately.

Rachel sat away from him and scooted away from him on the couch, "And why is that?"

Finn took deep breath and went over it in his head before speaking. Thinking before speaking wasn't something he was accustomed to. "Listen, Rachel. Did they tell you the risk?"

Rachel shook her head, "No, but I would like for you to tell me about it."

"Okay," Finn took another deep breath, "The chances of me surviving are less than the chances for me dying. Not to mention that if they take out the tumor they would be damaging a portion of my brain that I could never get back."

"What does that mean?" Rachel asked, grabbing his hand urging him to go on.

Finn met her eyes, "I would be disabled, partially. I would never be able learn anything more than I know now. Something about, unless it has an emotional connection I wouldn't be able to remember it."

Rachel nodded as if she understood, "What else?"

"What do you mean what else? I wouldn't be able to work. I couldn't take care of you or the baby. I couldn't do anything. I would just be… there." Finn argued.

Rachel held his grip tighter, he wanted to let go of her, but he liked the contact, he'd missed it so much. "Baby, I want you to get it. What if you survive, then we can have a life and William could meet you."

Finn shook his head, "No, Rachel. I don't want it. I just want to get as much as I can get out of my life and then pass on." Finn finally got the nerve to drop Rachel's hand, "This is why I didn't want you to know, you would try to get me to hold on, but Rachel. I'm tired of fighting. I am tired of being this guy. This weak son of a bitch who probably couldn't carry you two steps." He felt hot tears building up in his eyes, "Remember when I used to put you over my shoulder and carry you to the bed room, or fuck you against a wall? That guy? He's gone Rachel. This guy," he pointed to himself, "This guy can't walk down the street without feeling winded. He can't make love to his girlfriend the way he wants. Hell he can't even look at her without seeing pain in her eyes. That old guy, that strong guy, he left the girl he loves to protect her from seeing this guy."

Rachel was now sobbing at his words, crawling closer to him and he wouldn't look at her so she put her hand to his cheek and made him, "Look at me, Finn." She whispered, he still wouldn't. "Hey," Her voice was soft, inviting, "Look at me."

He couldn't resist anymore, his eyes met hers, "What?"

"I love you." She whispered, pointing at him, "This guy, that guy. He's the same guy, Finn. I love Finn Hudson. I don't care if you're sick."

"I do." Finn said quickly. "When are you going to get it? I'm pathetic."

Rachel took his face in her hands, "What if it were me? What if I was sick what would you do?"

"That's different."

"How?"

"You're a girl."

"And you're a sexist. It's not different. It's not different at all. If I were sick, what would you want me to do? Would you want me to fight?"

"It's different because I'm supposed to take care of you." Finn whispered, "I'm your man, I have always been the person who was supposed to take care of you. Stick up for you. That's my job."

Rachel smiled and met her lips to his, "It's my job too." She told him with her lips inches away from his before kissing him again. "Don't leave me again." She whispered and he nodded.

He hesitates before answering, "I won't."

"Promise me." Rachel cried.

Finn nodded his mouth going dry as he feels a pang in his heart, "I promise that I won't walk out on you again, Rach." He chooses his words carefully. "I don't think I could do it at this point anyway." Finn draped his hands around her waist and pulled her closer, "You know, seeing you again it's made me realize why it was so hard to leave in the first place. I love you so much, Rach."

Rachel grinned, "I love you too."

Finn yawned and pouted, "I really want to ravish you right now, but I think I need a nap first."

"You'd ravish me, even with this big ol' belly?" Rachel chuckled a little.

Finn put his hands on her stomach and leaned down to kiss it, "You're still hot as ever, babe."

"I missed you calling me babe." Rachel said jumping up and reaching her hand out for him. The two waddled into the bedroom and lied in their bed, memories attacking Finn's mind of the last night they were together.

Rachel's mouth attacked Finn's neck as they lay in bed together, Finn smiling down at the woman who loved him so unconditionally. It almost hurt.

The next couple weeks went by as close to perfectly as they could. Rachel took off Wednesday's so that she could accompany Finn to treatment, after treatment they would eat Chinese food and watch whatever movie Finn picked out. On Tuesdays and Thursdays Rachel would come home to Finn cooking dinner and he found out that she would eat meat as long as it wasn't too much all at once.

Rachel would get up on her tippy toes and kiss the back of his neck while he cooked and he'd look behind him at her and grin the way he used to at her and it reminded her of when everything was good and right and he wasn't sick and he hadn't left and for a minute she would just forget about it all.

Every night Rachel would spend her evenings riding Finn and they would moan and writhe and when he was inside her, it just felt right. It didn't feel like it was sick, it felt like he was good. Like he was fucking amazing. Like he was hers. And that was all he needed to feel well again, was to be hers, to be inside of her. He wished he could roll her over and do the things he used to, but he didn't have the energy. He wanted it, but he just couldn't have it. Maybe if he had the surgery.

No. He didn't want it. He told her he didn't want it.

Over dinner that Thursday Rachel began to sweat, "Is this hot?" Rachel stuck her tongue out and fanned it.

Finn shook his head, "Not really, not hotter than normal." Finn tilted his head at her, "Are you okay, babe?"

"I feel a little weird." Rachel frowned and put her fork down, "Maybe I should go lie down." She scooted her chair out and look down at her legs.

"Finn!" Her voice was panicked. "Finn, my water just broke." She looked up at him and he gulped before a bright smile went across his pale face.

"I'm going to be a Dad?"

Rachel laughed, "Yeah, if you get me out of this apartment." Rachel chuckled and Finn grinned widely.

"That. That I can do."

A/N: Who is excited to meet William? Finchel baby!

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