Part Five
A large fry and a strawberry milkshake later, Tank headed back to Rangeman. If they couldn't free Stephanie's hand, he would have Hal remove the seat and cut the bars apart. He saw the crowd gathered by the elevator as he pulled into the garage. They were like kids in a candy store waiting for a treat.
He only had to pull over once. Stephanie had gotten a little paranoid and tried to wrench her hand loose. It was a bit scary there for a minute, because he thought she would really hurt herself. Luckily, Bobby calmed her down with a chocolate-covered marshmallow candy bar. Tank didn't even want to know why Bobby had one on him. Ranger needed to rethink his hiring practices.
"I'm stuck," Stephanie announced to the onlookers. "I'm stuck in a truck."
"Fuck," Lula muttered as she climbed out.
Apparently, Stephanie found this to be amusing and exploded in giggles again. "Stuck. Truck. Fuck."
Bobby shone the flashlight under the seat to get another look at the situation. "I was thinking we could try some WD40. Lubricate her wrist and slide her hand out."
"Lubricants?" Lula exclaimed. "I got lubricants. What flavor you want?"
"We don't need those, Lula," Tank told her.
"Are you paying attention, or just trying to make me look like an idiot? He said he needed some lubricants," Lula shot back.
"Oh, I'm definitely paying attention. If you look like an idiot, it has nothing to do with me," Tank replied.
Lula scrunched up her face. "I don't need you're shitty-ass attitude. It's bad enough I get alotta crap from my own family. I don't need it from no man who picked kitty cats over his woman. I'm outta here."
"No!" Stephanie whined. "Don't go, Lula. I need you to lubricate me, so I can go to the veterinarian dance with Batman!"
Panic set in again, and Stephanie violently tugged her arm again. Bobby leaned into the truck to try and stop her.
"Damn, White Girl. Chill out," Lula said. "I'll stay…for you. Lula ain't no flat-leaver. I might have been a ho, but at least I got some honor when it comes to people I care about."
Lula glared at Tank as she stalked back to the open door. She pulled four small tubes from her purse. "I got cherry, peppermint, apple pie, and nacho cheese flavors. Which one you want?"
"Cherry," Stephanie decided. With a snort, she turned to Bobby. "I lost mine."
Bobby frowned as he reluctantly took the cherry-flavored lubricant from Lula. He squeezed a generous sized glob into the palm of his hand.
"Hold the light for me."
Bobby cocked his head towards the flashlight on the seat. Lula stepped back and allowed Tank to move in closer.
"That smells good," Stephanie sighed. "I could really go for some cherry pie now."
Bobby greased her wrist as best as he could. Her hand looked more swollen than before. He didn't have much hope for success. After ten minutes, he threw in the towel.
"This isn't going to work," he announced. "I'm going to hurt her if I pull any harder."
"Am I going to have to live here now?" Stephanie asked. "I hate mobile homes."
"No," Tank told her. "We're going to remove the seat and cut you out of there. Don't worry, we'll get you out."
Tank grabbed his phone from his hip and called Lester. "What's your ETA?"
"Five minutes."
"Good. We need Hal to cut Stephanie out of the front seat." Tank slammed the phone shut on Lester's laughter.
Stephanie's phone buzzed. She dug around in her bag with her free hand. Her eyes widened as she read the name on the screen. Without thinking, she answered the call.
"Sssshhhh," she hissed at the crowd. "It's Ranger. I don't want him to know that I'm stuck. And don't tell him that I'm gay!"
She put the phone to her ear and cooed into the microphone. "Hi, Ranger."
"Babe? Where are you stuck?"
Stephanie's head whipped around, and she glared at Tank and Bobby. "Who told Ranger I was stuck? I told you not to tell him I was stuck. Did you tell him I was gay, too?"
"What's going on, Babe?" Ranger demanded. "Who's with you?"
Stephanie's lower lip quivered and tears welled in her eyes. "I just found out that I'm gay. Now you won't take me to the dance. Who told you I was stuck?"
"You did. Is Tank with you?"
"Yeah…Tank and Lula and Bobby and…everyone."
"Don't worry, Babe. We're still going to the dance. Could you put Tank on the phone for a minute?"
"You don't care if I'm gay?"
"No, I don't care if you're gay. Put Tank on the phone."
"Are you gay, too?"
Ranger sighed into the phone. "Yes, Babe. I'm gay, too. Let me talk to Tank now."
"Okay." She held out the phone to Tank. "Did you know that Ranger was gay?"
Snickers rippled through the men as Tank took the phone.
"TALK!"
Tank rubbed his temple with his free hand. "I got a call from Lula for help. Stephanie ate a plate of hash brownies and is flying high. I had Lester and Hal turn in her skip. I thought it would be safer to have her crash on 7, so we could keep an eye on her. She yelled for me to stop, I hit the brakes, and she landed in the front. Her hand is stuck between the bars. Are you really gay?"
"Do you really love breathing?"
Tank grimaced. His Mission Impossible attempt to lighten to mood was an epic fail. Apparently, Ranger's sense of humor was AWOL. "Hal will be here any minute. I'll have him pull out the seat, and we'll cut the bars. I'll make sure she stays here tonight."
"Affirmative. Put her back on the phone."
"Here. He wants to talk to you," Tank informed her as he handed back her phone.
"Tank said I can stay in your apartment tonight," she slurred into the phone.
"I can't talk too long. I'm getting on a plane in a few minutes."
"You're gonna fly? Did you eat those brownies too?"
"I'll see you in a few hours, Babe. Just try to get some sleep after they get you out of the truck," he soothed.
"I love sleeping in your bed," she admitted. "I love your sheets. And I looove you, too. Even if you are gay."
"I gotta go. Talk to you later. We'll discuss this further when you come back down to Earth."
Stephanie frowned at the phone. "Are we on another planet?"
Within fifteen minutes, Hal popped the bolts on the seat. Lester titled the chair backward and held it in place. Hal handed Bobby a heavy-duty blanket.
"We need to cover her up while I saw these bars," he explained.
Bobby tried to place the blanket over Stephanie, but she would scream each time.
"No! I'm not dead! Please don't cover me up!"
"It's gonna be fine, Steph," Lester told her. "It'll only be for a minute. We don't want you to get hurt."
No one could convince her otherwise. Bobby excused himself and jogged to the stairwell. He returned with his medical kit.
"What are you going to do?" Tank whispered.
"Just give her a little sedative," Bobby replied. His eyes scanned her body to find the right spot. Even though Ranger would probably kill him, he injected the medication into her butt. With it sticking up in the air, it was the easiest target.
"Oh my God!" she cried. "I got stung by a bee…on my ass!"
Bobby and Lester kept reassuring her things were fine. Her eyelids became heavier. Finally, Stephanie drifted off to sleep. Five minutes later, they gave her freedom.
Tank scooped up Stephanie and motioned for Lula to follow him. "Ranger's on his way. I thought you could help me babysit until he gets here. I think we should talk."
Lula nodded and followed him to the elevator. "We ain't never been good at talkin'."
"There's a first time for everything," he replied.
The next morning, Stephanie slowly awakened. The dull ache in her wrist and the floor-of-a-taxicab feeling in her mouth reminded her of the events of the prior night. As the cobwebs began to clear, the warm body next to her tightened his grip.
"Welcome back to Earth, Babe," he told her in a husky voice. "How are you feeling?"
"Please tell me that last night was a bad dream," she begged. "I mean everything that happened after you asked me to go to the dance. Especially the part where I was dancing with a lesbian. And…that you're not really gay."
The bed shook as Ranger laughed. "I'm not gay. How about you?"
"She was a good dancer, but I'm so not gay. Sorry about your truck. I don't know how that happened," she sighed.
"Babe…the last twenty-four hours have been like the Twilight Zone. I've seen a lot of weird shit when I was in the service, but nothing like I experienced last night."
"Was I that spooky?" She questioned him.
"No, you were a lot of fun. When I got home, I found Tank and Lula getting busy to Jungle Boogie. I'll never be able to sit on my couch again. I sort of liked that couch. I think I'm scarred for life."
"Tank and Lula made up? That's great!" She snuggled closer to Ranger. It was a crazy night. The costume party. Norman Bates. Norman?
"Shit," she muttered. "I can't believe I blew it. Vinnie lost the bond, and I lost all that money."
He kissed her forehead. "No, you didn't. You cuffed him to the fence. Lester and Hal brought him in for you. The body receipt is in your bag. Do you remember anything else?"
She internally cringed. If she did remember correctly, she admitted to loving more than Ranger's sheets. And in front of all of Rangeman to boot. Time to confess, she told herself.
Stephanie shifted to her side, so she could look Ranger in the eyes. "Thank you. For everything you do for me. I know I don't always show it, but I really do appreciate it. And…" She bit her lower lip.
"Do I have to get you high again to say it?"
"I…I love you," she whispered. "I always have. It's just that when you sent me back to Morelli…I was afraid of getting hurt."
Ranger smirked. "I told you to fix it with Morelli, because you said it wouldn't work between us. I was protecting myself because I love you, too."
"I guess we have to work on our communications skills," she agreed. "I think Lula and Tank broke up because they didn't talk."
"By the Wild Kingdom episode I saw, they still weren't talking."
Her eyes dropped to ogle his bare chest. It was chiseled perfection. Something else caught her eye, and she looked down at the tented sheet.
"Is that a ghost or are you just happy to see me?" she teased.
He rolled on top of her. "Trick or treat, Babe."
"I thought we were going to work on our communication?"
"Later," he grunted. "Right now I want to work on our fornication."
"Far out."
THE END
Word Count 1889