A/N: I got too many ideas… and plus the wind kinda knocked out my internet. So I could not read any fanfiction nor play on my games. FML. At least I got to skip school and work on my own fanfics. Read and review the product of my boredom and misfortune! If it seems bad, it's because this is something I have written just to let go of these crazy ideas in my head, and any OOCness is just failure on my part. I just hope someone reads this and laughs. :)
Rated T for language and shounen ai.
Pairings: Uh… nothing for now, it's pretty much anyone x everyone as of now. For now. *coughs* Because there will be eventual pairings.
Summary: All the nations decide to come crash at that nation's whose name no one would remember—what was his name, Canadia?—home because America had suggested it and had hijacked the joint. What can go wrong in a night of fun? …if it turns into a week.
Chapter 2: Hide-And-Seek
All the nations were crowded around a single closet door, which was conveniently reinforced very well. All the nations sans Germany, because he was the one in the closet.
"Ah… Doitsu-san? Come out please?"
"Go away, Japan."
"Can you come out of my closet? …please? It's my home!"
"Go away… uh…"
"Canada."
"Um, yes. Go away please Canada, and sorry. But go away."
"Westen! Why won't you come out of the closet? I can help you, bruder! Who cares what your boss will say when he finds out you're gayer than a rainbow?"
"…I'm not talking to you bruder."
"You just did, kesesese!"
"…"
"Fine. Bruder, but this is Birdie's house, at least run home to our house and never come out of the closet."
"…"
"Verdamnt! You're really not answering the awesomeness? Fuck that, Westen!"
"GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CLOSET SO I CAN TORTURE YOU, YOU FUCKING POTATO BASTARD!"
"Lovi, don't say bad things!"
"Ve, Doitsu? I'm sorry! Waaaah! Don't kill me! But come out of there! I'm sorry for using your beer to make pasta, ve! There wasn't any water left! And for making white flags out of your socks! And for…" the Italian continued rambling while everyone else sighed.
"Veneziano, you did those things?"
"Ve, yes! Waaah, don't kill me! I'm still too young to die!"
"…I'm still not coming out. Goodbye, go play your games while I… uh…"
"Do questionable things in the closet?"
"I thought I took all your bondage porn, but oh well. Kesesese, go masturbate in the closet."
"Uh, Gilbert, you know all my maple syrup is in there?"
Prussia stared blankly at him for a moment. A second later, he joined Romano in banging and screaming at the closet door. "BRUDER GET OUT! I DON'T THINK I CAN EAT PANCAKES ANYMORE WITHOUT THINKING OF SYRUP AS LUBRICANT!"
Canada covered his ears so no more disturbing images came to his mind for the uses of maple syrup.
"Canadia, why is your door reinforced so well?"
"Eh… because I didn't want Prussia to steal all of my maple syrup. And it's Canada."
The bear in his arms looked up and asked, "Who are you?"
The nations then turned away from the door and stared at Canada.
"Holy shit, the bear can talk?"
"I'm Canada…" the nation answered.
After everyone gave up on screaming or trying to persuade the German out of the closet, Japan finally got the room the pay attention to him with the help of Arthur with his… cookbook/ spellbook/ weapon-of-mass-destruction-book.
"Since Doitsu-san is… having difficulties coming out of the closet—"
"Fuck yes, bruder is a prude!"
"—uh, yes, closet, we have decided to start the round without him. So to help me, I will get Hungary-san to be referee as well to replease Doitsu-san."
"Hello!" the brunette grinned and waved her hands around. Prussia refrained from saying anything because she was holding her frying pan in her left hand menacingly despite her smile.
"And this round will be hide-and-seek. When someone is found, they will help 'it' to find the others as well. If everyone is found within thirty minutes, 'it' wins, and if he takes over thirty minutes, the last nation to be found wins. And the prize for this game's winner is…" the Asian stared at the paper in his hands and almost choked.
Hungary snatched the paper from him and read it out. "Gets to punch someone the amount of year's he's lived, or less if he wants to if his fist starts hurting."
"Hai… if you have a grudge?" Japan supplied, uncomfortable with this violence.
"Damn, who suggested that Kiku?" America asked.
The closet spoke up and said, "America, that would be me when angry at bruder."
"…oh," was all the American could say.
"Aiya… if they chose me that would be 4000 years so 4000 punches!" China complained.
"Don't worry Yao-Yao, I will protect you, da?" Russia said while scooting closer to the Asian, while the other tried to shrink away.
"Who is 'it', ve?" Italy asked.
"Ah… to make things fair it will be Igirisu-san. Because he won last round. Is that okay, Arthur-san?"
Again with the name calling, the nation could not do anything but reply in the affirmative.
"Okay, count to one hundred. Everyone else, find a hiding spot within Canada-san's house—you are not allowed to hide outside this building. Hungary-san and I will follow you and keep track of everyone you find, hai?"
England nodded and turned around, muttering numbers as everyone scrambled to hide in Canada's house. Thankfully, it was quite large, being the houe of the second-largest nation in the world.
When he finally reached 100, he turned around from staring at the corner to find Canada and Italy standing right before him. "
"Ah… you might need help finding them so we decided to stay behind and help you."
"Ve, Matteo and I want to help! Just don't punch us!" the Italian bounced.
Japan nodded and scribbled in a notebook. Hungary peeked over his shoulder and saw, "Igirisu has found: Italia, Canada (They are very noble. Good doujinshi ideas.)"
Touched, the older nation slapped both of them on their backs and smiled, "Thanks, lads. Let's go find them!"
Cheering, Italy sped up ahead while peeking under the strangest places, such as the fridge and a table while the other two nations hurried to catch up to make sure he didn't do something stupid. Japan and Hungary shared a sly smile and followed them.
In ten minutes, they had already searched everywhere noticeable, and had only found Austria so far because he was playing a piano. The owner of the house was confused as to where everyone could have hidden.
"Where did everyone bloody go?" the Englishman muttered. Suddenly Austria, who was nonchalantly following them, got a text. Hungary snatched the phone out of the pocket and glared, furiously typing back something.
"Damn it, that Prussia! He said you'll never find him!" she said through clenched teeth.
Canada suddenly had an idea. "Hey England…"
"Canada?"
Sighing in relief that he wasn't forgotten, mistaken for America, or called Canadia, he offered, "Try calling America. He has an obnoxiously loud ringtone and carries his phone everywhere."
Furrowing his brows, England realized the wisdom in the other's statement and took out his phone. Quickly pressing a button, they heard a dial tone.
"Dad, why do you have America's number first on speed dial?" Canada questioned.
"Uh, that is… not your business," he coughed with a tinge of pink on his cheeks. "It's just that the United States and the United Kingdom have—good trade relations nowadays."
Raising an eyebrow, Canada was about to speak until they heard a rap version of "Oh Say Can You See" playing very loudly. Coming from above them. England's eyes were twitching at the song, but he widened his eyes in shock at the sight above them. America was hanging onto a chandelier wearing a Spiderman suit.
Japan scribbled into his notebook while Canada remarked, "I don't remember that being there."
Unsurprisingly, many of the nations were too scatterbrained to remember to turn off their cellphones. They left their phones on their person and did not turn them off or silent. The search party managed to clear out many of them within five minutes by splitting up and calling phones. By now they had gone through all the phone numbers, and there were still some people hidden.
By now, they were stumped by the remaining people. These nations were more creative than they were given credit for. Many of their hiding places were insane. Multiple people had tried hiding by attaching themselves onto the ceiling. In fact, China had been secretly following them unnoticed the whole time until his phone started playing some strange tune.
There was only Spain, Prussia, Finland, Romano, Lithuania, and Switzerland left. The found nations were being useless in helping, as they were bickering among themselves, so there was really only Canada and Italy still helping England. He narrowed his eyes since he was surprised how Romano's and Switzerland's tempers haven't given them out yet. He also figured that Spain would be with Romano since the current trend was that some nations hid in groups, so it would be worth a shot.
Swallowing and giving Italy a silent apology, he made his way over to where France was molesting China and getting glared at by Russia. "Frog, Italy is feeling lonely since he can't find his brother or Germany."
He looked up and let China slip away. Disappointed, he tossed his hair and asked, "Angleterre needs my help?"
"No frog, Italy does." Currently he was talking to Canada about the wonders of pasta with a sad look on his face because apparently Canada didn't share his love for pasta. However, it could pass for loneliness, and England sighed in relief that his lie might work.
"Ohonhon! Brother France will go to comfort Italy!" The Frenchman swayed his hips and started to walk over to the nation. Wrinkling his nose in disgust, the Brit followed him hoping that Romano might decide to pop up just about… now.
"FUCKING WINE BASTARD! DON'T YOU DARE GO NEAR FRATELLO!"
To everyone surprise, the lid of the ventilation system on the ceiling popped off and an angry Italian fell through, followed by the worried face of the Spaniard.
That was two birds with one stone. Chuckling as Romano beat up France and that he had found two nations, England grinned a bit scarily.
"Mr. England?" He looked down and saw cute green eyes staring back at him. "Can I play with Sealand? I think he's lonely."
England snorted and said, "Peter? Sure you can, but don't let him hurt you! It's not gentlemanly, so tell me or your brother if he does!"
With a short twirl of her dress, Liechtenstein walked off. But then when England smiled and turned back forward, there was the mouth of a rifle in his face. Startled, he stepped back and tripped over a table.
"You. Let. Liechtenstein. Play with that damn clone of yours?" an angry Switzerland snarled.
"Uh…" he struggled to find an answer. At least he technically found someone, though he didn't know where the guy hid. "Oh, you should go check on them in case Peter is being too rough."
Widening his eyes, the blond nation stormed off towards the pair with the gun in hand. Hopefully Sealand doesn't get murdered, England thought.
Italy had now reappeared by England's side. "Ve, if I help you win you won't kill me?"
England grinned back and startled the Italian, who was slightly afraid of him. "No problem with that, lad. I know exactly who I want to kill."
"Ve, don't hurt France-nii too much!" he squeaked, afraid for his fellow nation's life.
This time England stared in shock. "Italy, you can read the atmosphere? Since when?"
"Ve? But there's no book?" the confused Italian replied.
Any surprise left on his face, and he chuckled. "So you didn't, nevermind." England swept his eyes over the crowd of nations for Canada, but he didn't find the boy anywhere. Puzzled, he asked, "Italy, where did Canadia go?"
"Canada? Ve, I think he went to find Prussia-nii," he said.
England widened his eyes. The ex-nation was the master of pranks. It might take forever to find him, and he might still need Canada's help. Quickly grabbing onto Italy's hand and pulling him along, they scoured the house for the Canadian.
When they reached Canada's room, they saw Canada yelling at a toilet. "Gilbert! I know my house, I would know if there was a toilet where there isn't supposed to be one!"
The toilet did not answer. Italy rushed up and looked at the toilet. However, he noticed there was another one nearby, so there were two toilets in one bathroom.
"Ve?" He looked questioningly at Canada.
Said nation facepalmed and said, "That one on the right is Prussia, he just won't admit it."
England by now had also appeared in the bathroom. He kicked the toilet but it didn't budge. Frowning, he took at a look at the bottom and found out it was glued cleverly like a normal toilet would. He then tried kicked the other one, the one Canada said was the real toilet, and he got the same result. "Lad, are you sure one of them is Prussia? They seem real."
He sighed and replied, "Of course one is Prussia, Dad. Who puts two toilets in one room?"
The logic was irrefutable, and England stared at the object harder. It seemed to be large enough to hold someone if the inside was completely hollow. He then tried to pry off the lid. It was glued as well, unlike a normal toilet.
Italy was singing something in Italian, completely forgetting what he was there for. Canada had mysteriously disappeared, only to reappear with something. On closer inspection, it was a canary. "Gilbert, I'm going to feed Gilbird to Belarus's cat if you do—"
The toilet… exploded, and the albino nation snatched the little bird away. "Fuck! Birdie, you wouldn't."
Canada smiled and said, "I wouldn't, because I knew it would work."
The other pouted and said, "Not fair, blackmail doesn't count."
Feeling he was intruding on a private moment, England backed out of the bathroom and started to search for the last two rather peaceful nations. He was looking forward to beating up France, but he figured Finland and Lithuania didn't seem like people who held a grudge or were mischievous. If worse came to worst and he did not win, at least they wouldn't hurt anyone. However, no matter what he did, he couldn't find them. It was an hour later when he finally figured out why.
They had ignored the game completely and went shopping together for Christmas presents at a nearby store… and technically went out Matthew's house so they were disqualified. Since technically the last one left was Prussia in the cardboard toilet and Canada had found him, England had gotten them all in twenty-five minutes. Frustrated that he had wasted an extra thirty minutes of trying to find the last two nations, he released all his anger on France, who was near dead when he finally finished.
Maybe this nonsense wasn't that stupid.
A/N: I love England, and murdering France. XD I don't hate him, he's just very fun to beat up with other nations. Sorry if it's Canada's house yet this chapter was England-centric, and that he won two games in a row. Don't worry, next round it will be different and England will not win.
Did you catch any hints of pairings here? Note not all of them will be the end outcome, but just randomness thrown in here.
The slight Japan calling England by Arthur can be read as affection (though I believe they are and can be great friends or lovers), but really it's just something to make England do what he wants. Because he and Hungary are planning things…
And I know I overused the Canadia joke, but it just found its way in there.
Oneliners (though I included the ones which had names as well because… it's easier that way)
Japan
Germany
Canada
Germany
Canada
Germany
Prussia
Germany
Prussia
Silence
Prussia
Silence
Prussia
Romano
Spain
Italy
Germany
Italy
Germany
England
Prussia
Canada
Prussia
England
Canada
Kumajirou
Romano
Canada
…that's a lot.
Anyway, review for more chapters! :) Because I was just so bored I ended up writing two of these… any slowness in uploading is either school, internet, or angry parents. Fanfiction is not good for school. If anyone reading this also reads ghostwriter, expect another chapter soon, since I finished. All I have to do is find time to edit and upload. x.x