Chapter 1: Godswood

'I heard you asked for more Hokl,' Thore said to Ailith. It was a silent and sad morning, today Darnell would be buried. Thorne was the half-brother of Ailith and her older brothers Benjen, Eddard and Harlan, also called the bastard. Ailith did not look up from her plaid.
'Indeed,' she just simply replied. Her brothers looked to each other and then to their father, but he remained calm and kept on eating. The first time Ailith had worn the Hokl, he had been furious, for he thought it was not right for such a young girl be wearing her grief with her her entire life.
'Why?' Thore asked, 'You don't have to, you're still young who knows how-'
'Stop it,' Ailith said and gave him a severe look.
'But-' he tried.
'No,' Ailith said firmly, 'I will wear it, with or without your approval. It won't only be for mother and Darnell, but also for all the deaths the coming Winter will claim, for all the soldiers who died for us, for all the mothers who lost their children.'
'Ailith, child,' her father said with a deep voice and looked at her. He was at the end of his forties and his hair was getting grey, but his eyes were still so powerful. She had seen the other Kings, but none had looked so majestic as her father, she had always thought.
'If you think that you are ready to bear the grief of so many,' he said, 'Then you should, like your grandmother did.'
'Thank you father,' Ailith said and gave a small nod with her head.

Ailith looked at herself in her mirror. Her upper eyelid was now shady black, as was a small line under her eyes. It made her look much older than seventeen. Her long curly dark hair were brushed back into a braided bun. Which was covered by the traditional white lace shawl. She wore a black dress, with dark-grey patterns on it, a high white collar and white lines on the end of her tight sleeves and on the bottom of her dress. On top of that she wore the ash black cloak and hood with white cloves. She had no interest in mourning jewelry, for a funeral was no time to decorate yourself.
'Are you ready?' Ailith heard her brother Eddard ask, who was the oldest after Benjen. She heard herself say yes and walked with him. But she remembered nothing of it all.

The next thing she knew was that she laid in bed, still with her dress on, looking through the window to the godswood. Sixteen days had past, but she had not left her room since the funeral. For nothing and no-one. First the maester had feared that she also had fever, but son they realized that Ailith was grieving in het own way. She was shivering, not from the cold, but from anger. Why? She asked herself. Why did it have to be Darnell? He had done nothing! He had been so much like mother! Why could it not have been Gunnora? Ailith sighed and felled so helpless. Slowly she rose up and looked out of her window. Winter was coming, she knew it, she could feel it. But now there would not be the laughter of Darnell brining the Summer back to her heart.

On her toes Ailith walked through Winterfell, and still creeping she walked through the gates. Only when she was in the godwood she dared to walk again. Ailith wrapped her arms around her, perhaps she should have brought her cloak, but it was too late to return now. Quickly she walked to the hearttree. She had spend so much time here when her mother had died. And there she was again. The face in the tree was almost as familiar to her as the faces of her brothers. Yet, she did not love it. The gods had never answered her prayers. Still, they were the gods. Ailith fell on her knees before the hearttree. When she looked up, she could barely see the face through her tears. Finally she could cry, after all these days. Ailith cried and poured her heart out, weeping in the cold wind. Did the gods finally listen to her? Could they be moved by her grief? Ailith prayed to the gods without words, shivering from all the emotions she let flow out of her. She raised her arms in despair, but let them drop to the ground again. What could she do against the gods? Darnell was gone, and there was nothing she nor any other human could do about it. Leave the dead, her mother had always said, the living have no business with the dead. Her mother, o she missed her so much. Her mother had agreed that the princes and princesses should not marry yet, now that the summer still lasted. That was why so many royalties were still not even betrothed. They had had a long Summer, and wanted to enjoy it before a long and hard Winter would fall upon them. It was rare that even princes who were in their twenties were still unmarried. Only Benjen, Ailiths oldest brother was already married. Gunnora, on the other hand, had been complaining about it the entire time. Claiming that they should quickly get married, before they were too old. Ailith closed her eyes, she did not want to think of Gunnora. First her mother, now her little brother. Fever was an ugly thing. Especially the White Fever, named after the White Raven who brought the news of Winter. Ailith had heard that it had already killed many a strong man and slain thousands of innocent children.
'Girl,' the voice cam unexpected and much closer than Ailith wished it to be. She looked around, shocked. But only saw a tall dark-clothed figure through her tears. The voice was neither of her father or one of her brothers, yet somehow familiar.
'Get away from me,' she said slowly rising, while tears still covered her cheeks and her breathing was fast.
'Gods,' she heard the voice swear, it sounded like a young man, around his twenties.
'I said, go away,' Ailith said again, as she backed off when the man came closer to her. But instead of stopping, he reached out his hand and came closer. Ailiths breath fastened as she backed off more and more. Still, the man did not stop. Ailith wanted to turn around and run, but tripped over her dress and fell on the leaves. Almost immediately after she fell on the leaves, she felt strong arms around her, who gently turned her around and helped her sit up. Gloved hands wiped her tears from her cheek.
'What ever happened to you, Ailith,' she heard the voice sigh. When she looked up, she recognized the face who was holding her – with a proper distance.
'Rowan,' she said and fell in his arms and cried on. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and helped her calm down. Rowan was the son of King Alexander IV and Queen Amelia, the high prince of the Reach. He was one of the closest friends to her brother Benjen. When they were younger they had spend many time together. But as they got older, Rowan had been more involved in ruling the country and they barely had seen each other. The last time had been four years ago. Ailith had been thirteen, Rowan and Benjen twenty.
'What are you doing here?' Rowan asked as he backed off a bit. Ailith now saw that he was in disguise. Covering his blond locks – his mother was a niece of the Lannisters – and strong body in simple rags. Yet, it mattered little to her.
'Darnell died,' she said, as a new flush of tears poured out her eyes. Rowan took her in his arms again and slowly rocked her to calm down.
'I'm sorry,' he whispered, knowing how much Darnell had mend to Ailith. He could not imagine how it would be if he would loose Alyna, his little sister. He heard Ailith murmur small sentences through her tears, which mostly sounded like 'it's not fair', but he just rocked her and laid his hand on her head. After a while he figured they could not stay here till dawn, no-one even knew he was gone and he thought that no-one probably knew she was gone either. Slowly he backed off a bit and looked at her.
'I'll bring you home,' he said, and lifted her up. He knew she hated it to be helpless, but right now he was bringing her to Winterfell one way or the other. This time, she did not even told him to put her down. She just softly sobbed in his arms, her arms swung around his neck. He felt so much pity for her, what had happened to the strong, independent girl he had known?

Softly, Ailith had whispered him secrets ways to her bedroom. Which allowed Rowan to arrive quicker and quieter to her room. Gently he laid her down on her bed. She looked away and curled up a bit. Rowan turned around and walked to the window. It was wide open and pretty cold!
'No,' he suddenly heard Ailith say, she sat straight up in bed, 'Please, leave it open.'
'Alright,' he said, he had learned a long time ago it had no sense to argue with Ailith. But now, she just sat there in bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. Looking so…defeated. The gods could be cruel. Rowan sat down next to her on her bed. For a moment neither said something or looked at the other. Rowan figured it would be best for him too leave. It was very inappropriate to be in her bedroom anyway, and if his mother would notice that he was gone he might as well stay away for good. But when he rose to his feat, Ailith took his hand and looked at him, her eyes still teary.
'Please don't go,' she said. Something in her voice made his heart break. He said down next to her again and laid his gloves and hood behind him. Rowan swallowed. She had really turned into a woman now, Ailith was no longer the little girl he had known.
'You should get some sleep,' he said, 'I'll stay until you're asleep.'
'Thank you,' she said and laid down.

When Ailith woke the next morning, she could not remember a night when she hat slept so good the last few months. She took a deep breath, but smelled something else than the fresh sent of morning. When she became more aware of her body, she realized there were two arms around her and she had her hands against a slowly rising chest. What shocked her the most, was that she even had her knee between two knees. When she opened her eyes she stared into the sleeping face of Rowan. He must have fallen asleep too, she figured. Ailith turned her head to look outside and was comforted by what she saw: the sun was only just rising. Coloring the sky a deep purple, red and orange, while pushing the stars away. When she turned her head back again, she saw Rowan blinking to the light and slowly waking. Immediately she pulled her hands of his chest. Quickly he also pulled his hands back and within a second they both stood beside Ailiths bed. Both on another side. Neither one looked at the other and none said a word.
'I should go,' Rowan said finally, picking his gloves and hood from the floor.
'You should,' Ailith said, looking to the floor.
'I-I didn't mean to-' Rowan said, looking at Ailith.
'No, no, it's my fault, I shouldn't have gone into the -'
'No, that's logical, I just-'
'Rowan,' Ailith smiled, 'you should go.'
'I will, princess,' he smiled and walked to the door, 'I'll see you in ten days.'
'Ten days?' Ailith looked at him in surprise, as she followed him to the door.
'Yes, we're here to visit. You'll receive a raven today,' he whispered now that they stood by her door. Ailith shook her head and stood close to him, blocking the door.
'But why?' Rowan just smiled at her.
'I'll see you in ten days, princess,' he smiled at her for a moment, then opened the door and left. Ailith closed the door behind him and stared through her room. But she realized she would not know the reason for his visit until he would arrive at Winterfell, so she climbed back in bed and slept for another few hours.

When she walked into the dining room for breakfast, Ailith first thought that everyone knew about her night with Rowan. She had never been with a man alone in an intimate way and wanted to stay pure for her marriage. But than she realized she had also not been out of her room for the last sixteen days. Her father rose to his feet and walked towards her. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead.
'Feeling a lot better, I see,' he smiled.
'A lot indeed, father,' she smiled and walked to her seat and sat down.
'My lord, beg you forgive me,' a servant said as he burst through the door, panting with a letter in his hands.
'Speak,' her lord father said.
'Queen Amelia is on her way to Winterfell, my lord, with her sons and daughters,' the servant panted.
'All of them?' her father said surprised. He took the letter and read it. Ailith tried to look as surprised as her brothers did. Hoping none of them would see a connection between the letter and her presence, but she realized that was far fetched.
'Well than,' King Benjen sighed, 'we better prepare ourselves for the Queen of the Reach!'
'They could have told us earlier, when are they coming?' Gunnora complained.
'Ten days,' her father said, still staring to the letter.
'Ten days, gods-' Gunnor began, but Ailith cut her off.
'The Stark have always been a family who welcome everyone, milady,' Ailith said sharp, 'Whether they announce it weeks before their arrival or only a few hours.'
'Yep, she's all better,' Harlan whispered to Eddard.

*Hokl is the 'make-up' they use to paint their eyes black. Its thick and moistly and stays on for days + its waterproof. Its like the niece of kohl in make-up, since hokl is moistly….

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