AN: I'm so so so sorry I haven't updated in so long! I've been very busy in school, and this kind of slipped my mind. But without further ado, I bring to you chapter 5. Enjoy! :3
"Well, that's the last box," Ms. Knight said, folding up a box and putting it to the side. "You are now officially part of our home." She smiled, pulling Logan into a hug.
"Thanks Ms. Knight," He said, hugging her back. He pulled away and looked at Kendall, who was grinning at him. "Let's go put these clothes away." He said, pulling Kendall's sleeve while they walked upstairs, piles of clothes in their hands. They struggled to open up the door, and when they finally did, Kendall set the clothes down and sighed, watching Logan open up the drawers to the dresser.
"What?" Logan asked, as he turned around to grab more clothes.
"Are you…okay?" Kendall asked him, sitting down on his bed. Logan blew air out of his mouth, puffing out his cheeks. He set the clothes down on top of the dresser and walked over to the bed, sitting down.
"Well," He started, looking down at his hands. "I don't know. I mean, I'm glad your family has opened their arms for me, and let me stay. But of course the pain is still going to lag inside of me. I just lost my mother. It's going to take long to heal. And I don't know what to do about it. I know that no amount of crying, or wishing, or anything, will bring her back. I just have to accept it. But it's going to take time. A lot of time, I'm sure. So just…Be patient with me. Please."
"Logan," Kendall said, grabbing his hand. "I'm not going to rush you through this. Yesterday, the pain I saw in your eyes was so heartbreaking. I had never been so worried for someone who wasn't part of my family. Ever. Do you understand how much you mean to me?"
"Of course I do," Logan answered, snuggling into Kendall. "And I'm glad you do. I've always needed someone like you. In my whole life, I've never had someone who ever made me feel like this. I've been through girlfriends, through boyfriends, and none of it ever lasted. They always thought was I was either too depressing, or too scared to be in a commitment. But you've stayed here, no matter how irrational I've been, how sad I've been, you've stayed here. So I think it's safe to say that we both mean a lot to each other." He leaned up to Kendall, softly kissing him before pulling away. "And you mean more than the world to me."
"I could say the same." Kendall said, running his hand through Logan's hair. He leaned down for another kiss, but Logan pulled away, giggling. "Wha…?"
"Not until we're done putting the clothes away." Logan said in a teasing tone, getting up and walking over to the dresser. Kendall rolled his eyes, getting up and helping him. When they were finished, they walked back over to the bed, sitting down and turning on the television. They snuggled together, slowly drifting off to sleep.
A few hours later, a loud knock on the door awoke the boys from their slumber. They groaned, sitting up as the knock sounded again.
"Hurry up if you want to eat!" Katie said, knocking once more before turning and walking back downstairs.
"Well, you heard her," Kendall said, ruffling Logan's hair and laughing. "Let's go." They got up and ran into the kitchen, sniffing the air as they sat down.
"Pizza?" Logan said, smiling brightly.
"Yes," Ms. Knight said, taking the stone that the pizza was on out of the oven. "Home-made."
"It's the best thing ever!" Katie exclaimed, bouncing in her seat as her mom placed the stone in the middle of the table and began cutting it in squares. After waiting for a few minutes for it to cool, they dug in.
"This is amazing!" Logan said, smiling at Ms. Knight, who smiled back in return. They sat and ate, making small talk, until the pizza was done, and the dishes were being put in the dishwasher. He and Kendall went back upstairs, and Kendall shut the door behind him.
"Shower time," Kendall said, raising his eyebrows. "Let's go." He grabbed Logan's hand, pulling him along.
"Wait," Logan objected, pulling his arm away. "What about Katie and your mom? I don't want to take any chances…"
"Don't worry, we won't do anything," Kendall said, taking hold of Logan's arm again. "I promise." He winked before grabbing two pairs of pajamas and walking into the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind him. As soon as the door was locked, he turned to Logan, making sure to maintain eye contact as he started stripping off his clothes. Logan rolled his eyes and turned around, trying to avoid Kendall and stick to his thoughts of not doing anything. But Kendall just wouldn't let up, which was obvious when he walked up behind Logan and ran his hands down his back. His lips went to Logan's neck, and Logan pulled away.
"Don't," He warned, glaring at Kendall until he got the point. Kendall sighed, obviously disappointed, and took off his boxers. He turned around to turn the shower water on, but even as his back was facing the opposite way, he could still feel Logan's eyes on him.
"Logan," He said, without turning around. "Are you checking me out?" He finally turned around, making full eye contact with Logan, whose face had turned bright red. Kendall walked toward him, still keeping eye contact, and stopped in front of him. He then ran his arms down Logan's chest, knowing that by the look of desire in the smaller boy's eyes, there was going to be no objection. His fingers stopped above his jeans, which he slowly unbuttoned. When they fell to the floor, Logan still managed to keep his eyes locked on the emerald orbs that were locked on his chocolate brown ones, while kicking them to the side. He shivered as Kendall's hands touched the cold skin above where his boxers began. Kendall leaned down, softly kissing Logan on the neck before he leaned back and looked back into his partner's eyes, knowing that his own were smoldering with desire. He slowly took hold of the elastic that was at the top of Logan's boxers, pulling it down at an agonizingly slow pace. Finally, Logan was fully exposed. He kicked his boxers off of his ankles, and put his arms around Kendall's shoulders, running his hands through his hair. The air was getting fogged and musty from the shower water, and sweat was starting to drip down their bodies from the humidity. Logan couldn't hold it back any longer. He quickly pulled Kendall into a heated kiss, stumbling along as they found their way into the shower. The hot water travelled over them, as the kiss became more and more intense. Kendall ran his tongue over Logan's lip, asking for access within, which Logan granted almost instantly. He put his hands on Logan's hips, pulling the smaller boy closer until every part of their body was touching. Logan was still tugging on Kendall's hair, and started letting out small moans, which in turn, turned Kendall on more than anything. He started rolling his hips against Logan's, stopping the intense kissing to take the opportunity to latch onto his neck. He bit into it, taking pleasure in the moan that Logan let out, before sucking on the spot that he bit into. He pulled away, admiring the large mark he left. He went right back to Logan's lips, and they were just starting to get into it again, before Logan pulled away.
"Come on," Kendall whined, frowning at Logan.
"You promised," Logan said, winking as he picked up the soap and turned away from his pouting boyfriend.
"Tease," Kendall said, rolling his eyes at Logan's giggle, and trying to hide his own smile.
By the time the boys finally got out of the shower, it was almost twenty minutes later. They lounged on the bed in their sweatpants and t-shirts, watching TV as they munched on a bag of pretzels. Kendall glanced over at Logan, trying not to crack up. The hickey he had left on his neck had fully blossomed, and was taking up a large space on the right side of his neck.
"What?" Logan asked, wrinkling his eyebrows in confusion at the chuckle he had heard Kendall let out.
"Nothing," Kendall said nonchalantly, grabbing another pretzel.
"Don't 'nothing' me," Logan said, grabbing the pretzel out of Kendall's hand and biting into it, raising his eyebrows. "I know you were laughing at me for some reason."
"Who said I'm going to tell you?" Kendall laughed, throwing a pretzel at Logan and sticking his tongue out.
"Oh, so it's going to be like that?" Logan asked, grabbing a handful of pretzels out of the bag. He threw them all at Kendall simultaneously, laughing as Kendall shielded his face. With that, they started a pretzel war, using the household items as shields and rolling around to hide from the ones being thrown. At one point, they ended up on the floor together, with Kendall on top of Logan. He could feel his chest rising and falling, and his heart beat gaining speed with each passing moment. He leaned down for a kiss, smiling when he realized Logan had fallen for his plan. Right before their lips finally met, Kendall threw a handful of pretzels at Logan, jumping up in victory.
"Ha!" He exclaimed, laughing as he held his fists in the air. "I win!" He started doing a silly little victory dance, hopping around and shaking his butt like an idiot.
"You asshole!" Logan said, laughing as he tackled Kendall. They both fell to the ground in a fit of laughter, before a knock sounded on their door.
"Come in!" They simultaneously said, sitting up. Katie walked in, a book in her hand.
"Whatever you two are doing," She said, scrunching up her face. "Please knock it off. I'm trying to read!" She stood there with her hands on her hips, glaring at the two boys. They turned to face eachother, smirking as they both had the same thought. They grabbed the closest pretzels they could and threw them at Katie, laughing as she yelled at them and stormed out, slamming the door behind her. They were still laughing as they walked over to the bed and got under the covers, cuddling close to eachother. The TV still played in the background as they both fell asleep, holding one another in their arms.
The alarm clock bleated loudly as both the boys moaned and rolled over. It was 6AM, which was the time they needed to get up for school. Kendall slowly sat up, running his hands through his hair. He shut the alarm off before shaking Logan's shoulders to wake up. When he finally sat up, Kendall leaned forward and gave him a short, sweet kiss, then hopped out of the bed. Logan followed him over to the dresser, where they both contemplated what to wear. Logan took out an old Radiohead shirt and faded blue jeans, while Kendall took out a blue plaid shirt and dark blue jeans. They both got dressed and walked downstairs, where Katie was already seated.
"Why are you awake so early?" Kendall asked her, looking up as his mom moved toward them with a plate of waffles.
"I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep," She said, grabbing two waffles and handing the plate to Logan, who took his own, then passed it to Kendall. They ate in silence, which was normal on weekdays, since everyone was basically too tired to function, then went back upstairs to brush their teeth. By the time they were done, they had ten minutes before they had to go to school, which Kendall was dreading. He may have Logan to stick up for him, but that still couldn't get rid of the sting that he felt when Chuck, or any other rude homophobic moron in that school, insulted him. They sat around for the next five minutes before grabbing their bags and heading to the car, and heading on their way to school.
When they got into homeroom, they were instantly greeted by James and Carlos, who excitedly shared the stories of their amazing weekends. Logan tried to smile as genuinely as he could, but all he could think about was what had happened during his weekend. He was jolted out of his thoughts when he heard his name.
"Uh, Logan," James said, stepping forward a bit. "We, uh. We heard about what happened…" He avoided his eyes, looking around the room, then at the ground, before finally looking at Logan's face.
"We're really sorry," Carlos said, messing with the desk he was standing infront of. "You okay?"
"Uh, well," Logan said, trying to blink back the tears that he knew had formed in his eyes. "I'm not going to be perfectly fine if that's what you're saying. It's going to take a lot of time to heal." He looked at the floor, feeling the tears slip out. He felt Kendall grab his hand and squeeze it, and he looked back up at his friends.
"We understand," James said, pulling him into a hug. When he pulled away, Carlos pulled him into one too, muttering about how sorry he was and everything. It really wasn't their fault. But it was nice to have their support. He wiped under his eyes, and Kendall grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. They stayed that way for atleast two minutes, until the bell to go to the next class rang.
The rest of the day was mostly a blur for Logan. Even in all of the classes he had with Kendall, he still couldn't get distracted from the thoughts of his mother. No matter how hard Kendall tried to make him smile or laugh, or anything, it was like a depressing force was pulling Logan's mind back to the sad thoughts of his family, and what it used to be. He was still in a daze thinking about it, when the final bell rang for the end of the day. He was shaken out of his thoughts, and was angry with himself when he realized that he had missed all of notes for his class. They were working on absolute value of inequalities now. Without these notes, he was never going to get it. Sighing in frustration, he stood up, and felt Kendall grab his hand.
"I have detention," Kendall said, letting go of Logan's hand and putting his books into his bag. "If you want, you can pick up Katie and take the car home, and I can call my mom to come get me on the way home. I don't want you to have to wait all alone for an hour…"
"If that's what you want," Logan retorted, putting his bag onto his back.
"It is. I want you to go home and relax," Kendall answered, glancing at the teacher before grabbing Logan's hand. "I don't want to see you so upset when I get home." Glancing at the teacher once more, he gave Logan a quick kiss.
"I mean, I'll try," Logan said, frowning. "I'll see you when you get home."
"Yup," Kendall said, handing Logan the car key. Logan walked out of the room, swinging the key in his hand. He walked into the parking lot and unlocked the car, sliding into the seat and putting on the radio. It was an old Pink Floyd song, which calmed him down a bit. He always loved Pink Floyd. He made his way over to Katie's school, honking the horn when he saw her walking out of the school building. She walked over and tried to sit on the passenger side, but Logan stopped her.
"Back," He said, turning down the radio. "You're too young to be sitting in the front. It's a health hazard."
"Fine," She huffed as she shut the passenger side door and opened the one in the back. "So, where's my brother?" She asked as she slid into the seat.
"Detention," He answered, making his way down the familiar road to the Knight's house.
"Oh," She answered. For the next few minutes, nobody spoke, and nothing was heard but the radio. Katie was the first to break the silence.
"Are you okay? You're really quiet…" She asked, tapping her hands to the beat of the music.
"Not really. I mean, kind of, I guess…" He said, turning down the radio. "It's…hard."
"I understand," She said, sitting forward as they pulled up to the Knight house. Logan turned off the radio and unlocked the doors, watching as Katie ran out and up to the front door. She unlocked it with her own key and walked in, looking behind her at Logan to see if he was coming. He waved to let her know he would be a few minutes, and watched her close the door over. When he was sure that she was completely inside, he laid his head on the steering wheel and sighed. He could feel the tears coming to his eyes, but there was nothing he could do to stop them. Everyone he loved always had something tragic happen to them. He didn't want to put the Knight family in danger, but he knew that if he ran away, Kendall would follow right after him, just like last time. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if Kendall got hurt. Even if Katie or Ms. Knight got hurt. But he knew that just by leaving, he could hurt Kendall. They had gotten attached to eachother. And that was what scared Logan the most. He was always scared to commit for many reasons, but that reason the most. He knew that he wasn't normal. He was basically a walking disaster. But there was nothing he could do about it. He just wished his mother, scratch that, mothers, and father, could see him right now, and tell him that he's wrong, that it's okay for him to fall in love, that by doing so, he wouldn't kill anyone just by being himself. But he knew that it wasn't possible, and it never would be. He let out a gut wrenching sob as he thought about his family. He hadn't seen his aunts or uncles in years. His grandparents had passed away a while ago. He had no brothers or sisters to contact. The Knight family was all he had. He couldn't lose them. He couldn't. He was sobbing so hard that he didn't notice when Ms. Knight's car pulled up behind him in the driveway. A knock on the car window startled him, and he looked up, his tear streaked face shining in the now setting sunshine. Kendall looked in the window with concern, running over to the other side and opening up the door. Ms. Knight had already gone inside, so they were alone now. Kendall looked into his eyes before grabbing him into a tight hug, stroking his hair. Logan let it all out, crying into Kendall's chest with loud, painful sobs.
"It's okay," Kendall whispered into Logan's ear, still stroking his hair. "You're going to be okay. I have you babe. I'm here for you." A single tear slid down his cheek. It was breaking his heart, seeing the only guy he's ever loved so much break down like this. Logan was finally starting to quiet down, and soon enough, only quiet whimpers were heard from him. Kendall pulled away from the hug, looking at Logan. His eyes were rimmed with red and bloodshot, and tears stained his red cheeks.
"Logan," Kendall said, wiping the tears off of his partner's face.
"Kendall, how can you like me?" Logan wailed, starting to cry again. "I-I'm such a disaster. I don't deserve you! You need to find someone better, someone who isn't insane. I can go off on my own and maybe I can find some family that hasn't died yet and leave you alone. You can go off and be safe; I don't want to put you in harm. I want you to be safe. I can't put you in danger. I can't-"
"Logan. Logan. Stop." He pulled Logan into another hug, holding him close once more. He kissed his cheek before pulling away and looking into his eyes.
"Never, ever, say that you don't deserve me. If anything, I don't deserve you. You are the most flawless, awesome guy I have ever met. There's nobody else that could ever be more perfect for me. And I know it's too early for me to say that I love you, but I know I'm falling fast, and if there's anyone I would want that to happen with, it's you. Do you know how lost I would be if you left? You've become so significant to me that I can't even begin to see myself without you."
"…Really?" Logan said, sniffling and wiping under his eyes.
"Yes!" Kendall said, grabbing Logan's hands. "You may think you're worthless, and I can't change your opinion about yourself. But Logan, I honestly mean it when I say that you are the most perfect, amazing, and beautiful thing that's ever happened to me."
Logan leaned in and kissed Kendall, grateful that he had someone like him in his life. Kendall wrapped his arms around him and put his head on top of his, softly humming a song. And that's how they stayed for a majority of the night.