Chapter 10: Vows, Empty Words

Since the First Snow had began falling, it had not stopped. The wind had blown harder and colder. Field had turned to hard, useless ground. The wind had blown harder and colder. Men grew grim, as Ailiths belly grew rounder. Rivers turned to ice as days ended sooner. Still, Ailith was one of the few people who kept smiling. She had always loved the cold and the snow. Even though this was her first Winter, she knew 'cold' from the North. Still, Winter was very different from all the cold she had ever known.
Yet today there was no cold, there were no grim faces and there was no icy wind. It was Standis' twentieth name day. The round room where all the balls and parties were held was richly decorated with several bows and colored stripes. The royal family and all the lords and ladies were all dressed in bright colors, pretending is was Summer already again. There was food a plenty, wine like water in the sea and smiles like grass on a green field. Yet, for Ailith there were too much people and too much food. she had a bit of duck and goose, from vegetables and some wine and then she had had enough. Her belly was round and filled and her head was aching from all the talking and laughter. She walked to a small balcony and breathed in the sweet cold night air. She was quickly joined by Alyna. Just like her sister-in-law, Alyna did not fancy parties that much. They stood outside and talked and talked. About the weather, about the coming baby, about the dragons who had been spotted, about the chancing of the stars, about dresses and about a marriage for Alyna. Since Ailith still had three other brothers who were not married, she hoped one of them would be Alyna's husband. Even though she knew there were actually only two candidates: Eddard and Harlan. Thore would never marry a princes being a bastard. Still, she loved of the four the same. Benjen, her older brother had been married now to some high lady for a few years – but it had been a political marriages and clear to all.
All of the sudden Alec stood next to her. His face was serious and his eyes looked worried. Ailith noticed the men had begun singing louder and the smell of wine flew out the doors and windows. Both the girls were surprised to see him.
'Alec-' Alyna began, but he interrupted her.
'You must be tired, my Queen,' he said to Ailith.
'What's wrong?' she asked. Alec only called her his Queen whenever something was wrong.
'Nothing,' he lied, very clearly, 'I'm just worried about your rest.'
'Alright,' she smiled, 'I should get some sleep anyway.'
'Let me escort you-' Alec immediately said and rushed before her. It almost looked to her as if he was blocking her view towards the royal table.
'I'll see you tomorrow, your Grace,' Alyna smiled and made a small bend.
'Till tomorrow,' Ailith smiled back.
'This way, my Queen,' Alec said and spread his arm towards the large entrance door at the end of the hall. Ailith started walking, but than realized she should tell Rowan she was going to bed. She stopped and turned. It looked as if there was a straight empty line from her towards Rowan. Her jaws clung together as her eyes widened. She saw her husband, drunken. His drunken laugh roared through the hall. Amelia stood behind him, arms crossed and an evil smile on her face. Rowan had some maid on his lap and he kissed her between laughing and drinking. Ailith felt as if she had been slapped in her face. Yet when her eyes met with Amelia's eyes, Ailith lifted her head and walked away. Amelia would never see her fall.
'I'm sorry,' Alec said. So that had been the reason he had gone to her in the first place.
'Thank you, my lord,' Ailith said as she made her way out, 'but I can find the way myself.'
'Sleep well-' was all she heard. Ailith wanted to run out of the room. No, she wanted to run to Rowan, throw herself in his arms and slam that whore to the ground and slap his mother. No, the thing she wanted most was to run back to Winterfell, back to her fathers safe arms. But she could not do any of these things. Slowly she walked away and left the feast. Yet when she was walking through the almost empty hallways Ailith broke. Her knees shook and tears fell out her eyes, but she kept walking. Her breathing fastened so quickly, she barely got any air. Ailith stopped walking and for a moment felt completely lost and alone. But only for a small moment, because then she felt a large warm hand on her shoulder.
'My Queen,' she heard a familiar voice say. When she turned, a small smile turned on her sad face. Even through her tears, Ailith would always recognize the face: Mysah, captain of her guard. He had been protecting her ever since she had been a little girl. Ailith looked at his strong and hard features, they were only a reminder of how far the North really was.
'Are you well?' he asked. Ailith quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks.
'Take me to my room,' she said and took a deep breath.

'Your Grace!' Inger, Olga and Amai all jumped up when they saw Ailith and Mysah approach. Even though the soldiers were also surprised, they did not react. This was something for the maids. As was expected of them, the maids were waiting before the King and Queens Room.
'Take my dressing-gown and my nightgown,' Ailith immediately said, still red-eyed, 'I'm sleeping in my old room.'
'As you wish,' the maids said and went into the room. Ailith followed them.
'My Queen,' Mysah objected, 'would that be wise?'
'Yes,' she said, but did not explain anything, 'Inger, send for Saya and maester Cestron. I will not be his toy.'

'You had send for me, my Queen?' Saya bend before Ailith. She had taken a bath and only wore her silk dressing-gown. Amai had dried her hair and comb it until it shone, while Olga had made the fire blow.
'Yes, dear Saya,' Ailith had grown fond of the old woman and smiled to her, 'You have been blessed with children and I did not know any other to turn to.'
'Your Grace, I am honored, but what about maester-'
'Maester Ceston is a wise man indeed, but will always remain a man. You, on the other hand, have experienced it.'
'Of course, your highness,' Saya smiled, 'how may I help you?'
'Well you see,' Ailith said, 'my nausea always shows up in the morrow.'

As Ailith talked about her pregnancy, Rowan opened the doors of his room. He was still singing of the wine. Now that had been a feast! Yet when he closed the door behind him, he was confused. There was no bright fire and no woman in his bed. Only the old maester with a small candle in his hands. Anger boiled op inside of him.
'Where is the Queen,' Rowan asked when he looked at the empty bed. The old maester said nothing. Rowan turned around and stepped close to the old man. His footsteps seemed to echo in the room.
'I beg your forgiveness-' the old man began.
'I don't want your begins I want answers! Where is the Queen?' Rowan snapped, raising his voice. 'Where is she!'
'Her Grace said; 'if he wishes to share his lap and lips with another woman, perhaps he should also share his bed with another woman', my King.'
Rowan yelled in rage, blinded by the wine. He threw a chair to the ground and ran out the room. He knew where she was. Little Wolf, who did she think she was? He was the King, the King! Slithering and stumbling he made his way through the hallway. Cursing and swearing out loud and in his head. It only seemed like a few seconds to reach the room, when he heard muffled voices inside. His anger boiled up even higher. He burst through the door, knowing the soldier before the door would not stop him. The soldier would not dare, he was the King. As soon as he stepped into the room, Ailith rose to her feet. Saya and the maidens did too, but they immediately bend. For a moment Rowan did not know what to say. He had always loved the light blue silk dressing-gown with Ailiths dark wavy hair. He could see she had been wearing it for some hours now, for the knot which closed around the dress had loosened up and made a large opening between her breast. If her belly grew larger in the coming weeks, it would not be able to close properly. Because Rowan did not say a thing, Ailith opened her mouth.
'Where's your whore?' she asked, raising one eyebrow. There was no loving name in her phrase, nog title and no respect.
'Hold your tongue, woman,' Rowan hissed back, 'you're coming with me.'
'I'm going nowhere,' Ailith told him fierce, 'Not as long as you keep breaking your vows.'
'You dog!' he roared and slapped her. Ailith almost lost her balance, but remained standing. The other four women in the room already reached forward to catch her, but Ailith raised her hand to stop them. Ailith straightened her back and looked the drunk King straight in his eyes. Her cheek was burning and her heart was crying, but he would not know either of them.
'You roar like your Lannister mother,' she as monotonous as she could, trying to hide all her emotions. Rowan rose his hand again, but did not hit her this time. He pointed with his index finger so close to her face, he almost touched her nose.
'You are my wife and you will obey me.'
'You are drunk,' she simply replied.
'Do as I say!' he yelled.
'You have no power over me,' she said softly, 'You are the ones who broke your vows. The one who is untrue to our marriage. The one who-'
'Enough!' he yelled, 'Fine, I'm sorry.'
'Those words are as empty as your vows,' Ailith spat, 'Go, sleep and do not talk to me before you are sober again.'
'You don't command me,' Rowan replied with a deep voice. Yet, he turned around and left. As the door closed, Ailith fell on her knees and cried. Saya knelt beside her and pressed Ailiths face against her shoulder.

When Rowan opened his eyes again, his head felt like it had been stabbed several times. He blinked a few times for the small Winter sun and noticed how cold it was. A servant boy brought him a tonic against the headache, whispering all the answers to Rowan. He had had a terrible drunk, yelled at all the servants and told them not to change his clothes or to tuck him in and he even forbade them to light the fire. Rowan drank the tonic and waved the boy off. When he looked around, he realized Ailith was not beside him. Like a slap in his face, the memories of the night before came back to him. The wine. The laughing. The singing. His mother and – the girl. Then Ailith and gods he had yelled at her! He had even slapped her. Rowan closed his eyes and massaged his forehead. He should talk to her.
Yet, Ailith did not appear with breakfast. Nor with the morning meeting. Nor with lunch. When he searched for her that midday, he heard no-one had seen her that day. When the sky darkened and dinner was served, the Queen had still not been seen in or around her castle. None of Rowans siblings said a word that dinner. Only Amelia, his loving mother seemed happier than ever. She kept rambling on and on and gave Rowan his headache back. Suddenly he slammed his fist on the table and jumped up. With large steps he left the room.
Finally he had figured out where the Queen might be. The godswood. Quickly he walked into the godswood and made his way to the hearttree. He had never dared to run in the holy the hearttree she sat on her knees, all alone. When he slowly came closer, he heard her praying and saw her shivering of the cold. He licked his broken lips and took a deep breath, yet did not know what to say. Perhaps Ailith had heard him, because she stood up and turned around. Her eyes were red.
'I'm sorry,' he said, 'I'm a fool, a liar and an oath breaker and I don't deserve your forgiveness.'
'You could have said no,' she said. He could see tears in her eyes and hear so much emotions in her voice. With a few big steps he stood before her and took her hands.
'I could have,' he agreed, 'And I should have. But I was a fool, blinded. And I swear it will not happen again.'
'You swear it?' she said with a small sarcastic tone, yet her face showed tears.
'I know I shed your trust, but give me one more chance, please,' he begged, 'I don't want to loose you.
'I promise I will love and protect you, to keep you safe and warm,' he could hear his own voice shake, 'Please, Ailith, I need you.'
'Course,' she said and immediately he wrapped his arms around her. Ailith cried and also Rowan shed a few tears. He kissed her and pressed her close against him. Vowing by every god he would never hurt her again.
'I love you,' he said and wiped her tears away as he cupped her face.
'I love you too,' she smiled and wiped away the one tear on his cheek and kissed him again. The gods had finally heard her prayers.

Ta-daaaah!

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