Isabelle

"If you could go back 12 years, would you do it all over again?"

"The ring," Addison said quietly as she took a seat next to Derek on the porch in front of the trailer that had once been their home. Derek looked tired, Addison noticed, and defeated. She had heard about Jen and the way he had failed to save her; in his own opinion at least.

Derek remained silent, oblivious to his surroundings and apparently uninterested in conversing with ex-wife who had achieved what Derek had been unable to perform; a miracle to save a life.

The wind blew softly over the green grass, awarding the smothering summer night with a relieving freshness. A possibility to breathe, even in those nagging moments of guilt and regret eating away at Derek's strength.

"You did everything you could, Derek." Addison said before she moved closer to him. Sitting right next to Derek, letting her shoulder bump lightly against his, she sighed and reached for the hand of her ex-husband which was currently holding the ring she had never been worthy enough to wear, at least in his mother's eyes.

"It just wasn't enough," Derek whispered into the quiet darkness of the night, opening his right hand which had been fisted around the metal object he had planned to give to Meredith earlier. Addison took the ring and weighed it carefully in her hand, observing it and reading the engraving out loud. A disturbing sound of broken promises and lost love filled the air.

Carolyn. My only love.

"Would you do it all again," Addison paused, choosing her words wisely she asked, "If you could go back twelve years, would you do it all over again?"

Addison had thought about that question herself many times. If she knew how it ended beforehand, would she have chosen the same path? Addison sighed deeply, closed her eyes and waited for his answer – a moment of truth that held the ability to rob her of her illusions, her dreams and her memories of the past.

"No," Derek said simply. He took the ring from her hand, stood up and threw the ring as far away as possible.

Addison got up quickly, tears welling up in her eyes; she turned her back to Derek and started walking away towards her rental car.

"If I could go back twelve years, I would have never let you go."

This was more than just a choice. It was more than preferring an option to another, Derek knew. There was no going back but if he could, he would live the life he had imagined for himself instead of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The end.