Laughter of the Broken
"Speaking"
'Thinking'
"Demon/Summons speaking"
'Demon/Summons thinking'
A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry its been a while but for the most part I've been busy with school so no real time to work on this. Anyway, for everyone wondering about the fear toxin, fear not, for that is the only other thing I'm adding. So no freeze ray, no hat with strange powers like the mad hatter, no silk gun or anything like that. The reason for the fear toxins will be explained in this chapter. Also, for the third girl in the harem of Anko and Kyuubi with Naruto, I'm going to let you guys choose the third girl because my idea has too many holes. The only ones you can't nominate are: another female bijuu or demon, Hinata, Sakura, Ino, Tsunade, Shizune, Kurenai or Yugao. Other than that, take your pick and give me a good reason. Anyway lets start the show.
Team 7 along with Haku and Zabuza were finally going home. The bridge had taken a few weeks to actually be finished building and when it was finished they named the bridge, "The Great Naruto Bridge" in honor of the hero who had brought hope and freedom back to Wave. Kakashi was actually pretty pleased and very disappointed in Sasuke and Sakura when they protested the name and actually wished it to be called the great Uchiha Bridge. They were swiftly silenced though by Naruto's challenge. The challenge was a two on one battle royal and everything goes. Needless to say when Naruto pulled on his fear toxin glove, the two quickly agreed to the name of the bridge.
Currently, the group was walking along the path at a civilian pace when they got within fifteen miles of Konoha and would be there around two in the afternoon. They were walking in silence when Sasuke broke the silence.
"What the hell was that weapon you used on the bridge loser?" the 'last' Uchiha demanded. That glove had been eating away at his mind ever since he saw it and he finally couldn't take not knowing anymore.
Naruto just smirked at the Uchiha, "And why should I tell you Sasuke? Because if you're planning on using it, you'd only be able to use it on about three more people, one if they had strong willpower," Naruto stated.
"Shut up and tell him Naruto-baka! You should be honored to give something like that to someone as important as Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted. This action caused Kakashi to sigh while Zabuza and Haku thought how the hell either one of these two became genin. The Uchiha obviously couldn't really work with a team and the girl was too obsessed with Sasuke to actually work on her ninja skills unless told to by her sensei.
"Actually Naruto I'd also like to know about that weapon if its not too much trouble, besides I'll need to at least know what you're calling it for my report," Kakashi asked in a much politer tone.
"Oh if you must know then allow me to explain," Naruto said in a mock defeat voice while pulling out the same glove from before, the liquid in the syringes glowing eerily though like Naruto said, there wasn't much of the fear toxin left. "The glove itself is nothing much, just syringes in the fingers with longer than normal needles, however the stuff IN the syringes is another matter altogether," the blonde said with an eerie smile.
"What is in the gloves?" Haku asked with some small fear.
"Inside, my dear, is a special concoction that reacts to the pheromones in a person's body. Once in the body, the chemicals cause mass hysteria or fear within the target effectively making them hallucinate, thinking that they are experiencing their biggest fears," Naruto answered with an impish grin. "Each phobia depends on the person themselves, take Sasuke for example, if I were to enter this into his bloodstream he could experience being raped by his fangirls, Itachi killing his family again or realize he is the weakest of weak," Sasuke looked both angered and afraid at that statement. Angered at the accusations, but afraid at his teammate's claim, but being Sasuke he refused to believe that his teammate actually created something like that.
"There is no way you made something like that," Sasuke stated with a sneer, Sakura nodding in agreement.
"Correct Sasuke, I didn't create fear toxin. The creator of this little beauty was a man by the name of Tsuru, an ANBU to be exact. Tsuru was also known as Kyoufushou (morbid fear), Using his notes, I was able to recreate his fear toxin, the thing that gave him his name" Kakashi's eyes widened at that.
"You found Kyoufushou's notes? " exclaimed the one eyed nin. Ever since Tsuru died, countless people have searched everywhere for notes on his techniques, but no one had found anything. Hell, Ibiki had even turned the village upside down and spent the equivalent of three A-rank mission pays for just one scrap of information that he could use for his interrogations.
Naruto smirked "Yes I did, I actually found his lab and notes on accident one night when roaming my home. I even found a journal of his that he kept since he was an academy student all the way up to his death, apparently when he was younger, he was constantly bullied for his various fears, one day he had enough and vowed to find out what caused fear and how to kill his own fears. In the end, he feared nothing but everyone feared him," As he finished, Naruto had a thoughtful look on his face then just shrugged it off and kept walking.
"Ok that makes sense but why exactly do you have it kid? From what I've seen, adding that fear toxin just seems like overkill," Zabuza stated.
Turning Naruto gave a wolfish grin and said "While that may seem true to you, I am absolutely horrible with genjutsu, can't make one to save my life nor can I break any over B-rank, however with fear toxin I have the perfect tool for making and dispelling genjutsu," here Naruto got a very insane grin.
"I can see how it works for making genjutsu but how exactly does it dispel genjutsu?" Haku asked. She had to admit, the fear toxin was probably BETTER than genjutsu simply because it couldn't be dispelled by chakra but she failed to see how it could dispel genjutsu.
"Easy, most genjutsu rely on messing with an opponent's mind and chakra. Thanks to my research on my first subject coupled with Tsuru's own notes on the theory, I have found that when constantly exposed to the toxin, the target soon builds up an immunity to it along with a higher resistance to genjutsu," Naruto said with an innocent smirk.
"Who was your first subject?" Sakura asked.
Naruto gave a low chuckle and turned to her with a small smile and head tilted to the side, "Who better to test it on then myself?" he asked with a finger pointing at himself. Everyone got a shocked and uneasy look at that statement and continued their trek in silence with Naruto leading the way.
As they walked they wondered just what went on in that head of his, because whatever it was, it was more fucked up than Orochimaru's obsession with little boys and immortality.
Konoha, Outside the Hokage Tower
Team 7 and co. had finally made it to the tower and made their report to the hokage. Zabuza and Haku would be on probation for about a month or so with Zabuza helping in the chuunin exams and Haku working as an intern at the hospital. They were about to leave when a voice stopped them in their tracks, "Yosh! Kakashi my eternal rival!" shouted the voice making Kakashi shiver in dread.
'Dear Kami please not him, not now, not here' thought the silver haired nin as he turned to face the voice. There in all his green spandex jumpsuit wearing glory was the bane of Kakashi's existence.
"Ah my eternal rival! How burn your flames of youth?" the man asked with a cheesy smile and loud voice. He was wearing a green jumpsuit, orange legwarmers, standard shinobi sandals, and an unzipped jounin flak jacket. Around his waist he wore his headband like a belt with red cloth yet despite everything, that wasn't what freaked most of the group out. What freaked everyone out (minus Kakashi who has seen it and Naruto because he's not disturbed or scared of anything really) was the man's perfect black bowl cut hair and super bushy black eyebrows.
"Hm? You say something Gai?" Kakashi asked uncaringly, hoping beyond hope he would just leave without issuing one of his challenges.
"ARRG! Curse you and your hip attitude Kakashi!" Gai exclaimed with anime tears and shaking his fist in the air, "I will show you that my flames of youth are more powerful then your hip attitude!" It was at this point that two more people came up behind the strange man.
The one on the left of the man was a girl with black hair done into two Chinese buns on her head making her look like a panda. She also had light skin and chocolate brown eyes. She was wearing a Chinese styled sleeveless pink blouse and baggy dark green pants with standard blue shinobi sandals and kunai holster on her right leg.
'Hmm… I swear I've seen that hairstyle before' Naruto thought as he searched through his memories. Slowly he started to smile as he remembered the girl in front of him. 'Ah yes, Tenten. She is about one year older than us and, if I remember correctly, an orphan' thought the blonde as he remembered past experiences with the girl. Oh yes, Naruto DEFINITELY remembered her.
Next to Tenten was a boy that was undoubtedly a Hyuuga, due to his pupil less white eyes, very pale skin, long black hair that reached mid back and cold stoic attitude. (Seriously what is it with all Hyuuga acting as if they have an icicle shoved up their asses? Would it kill them to smile? Well maybe if Naruto was the one making the jokes…) He was wearing a khaki shirt, bandages on his right arm and left leg, dark brown shorts, same sandals as Tenten, kunai holster on right leg, and a black Konoha headband that fit snugly around his forehead and kept his hair out of his ever cold face.
"Gai-sensei, who exactly is this guy and why are you calling him your eternal rival?" Tenten asked as she eyed the people across from her with a curious expression. She recognized the last Uchiha easily, but she had no idea who the pink haired girl was and she felt like she had seen the blonde before but she just couldn't place him.
"Of course! This my dear pupils, is Kakashi Hatake, my eternal rival since we were not but genin!" Gai declared. Kakashi just gave a lazy Yo, once again making Gai burst into anime tears, "There's that cursed hip attitude of yours again! My flames of youth shall not be diminished! Anyway, Kakashi I'd like you to meet two of my pupils, Tenten," here he pointed at the girl who gave a polite wave, "and Neji!" he finished pointing at the Hyuuga who just nodded his head in acknowledgement. "My third and most hardworking student however is in the hospital resting from a rather youthful training session," Gai declared with a proud look.
"Well Gai, these are my students, Sakura Haruno," Sakura smiled and bowed slightly, "Sasuke Uchiha," Sasuke just grunted and glared at Neji, (a rivalry of which pathetic eye is better, ne?) "and finally Naruto Uzumaki," Kakashi finished with an eye smile.
Suddenly there was shout of "Naruto-kun!" and said blonde was glomped by Tenten. The girl was squeezing the life out of the blonde with a giant smile on her face while Naruto just said "Good to see you too Ten-chan," with a small smirk and showing no interest that his spine could actually be heard cracking and snapping.
"Wait you two know each other?" Sakura asked in confusion. To her, the very idea of someone actually being happy to see Naruto and not freaked out was just strange to her. I mean, who in their right mind would openly hug Naruto? The guy was the very definition of creepy mixed with insanity!
Somewhere in a dark forest a certain purple haired girl sneezed, "Wonder who's talking about me?" she shrugged and went back to the file she was reading about one Naruto Uzumaki.
Meanwhile Naruto was explaining his relationship with Tenten, "Well if you must know, girl of pink hair and large forehead," Naruto smirked as Sakura developed a tic mark on her forehead, "Tenten here is an old friend and sparring partner, though in reality I was more like a test subject for her weapons," Tenten got a sheepish look on her face at that.
"I said sorry for all the cuts and stuff," Tenten said nervously as her sensei and teammate gave her a strange look.
"Don't apologize, it was my fault for not dodging quick enough. Nothing like a few near beheadings and stabbed lungs to remind you to avoid flying pointy objects and swords, ne?" Naruto said with a dismissive wave while everyone just stared in shock. "Thank Kami for demonic healing factors, or would that be Yami?" Naruto mused. Shrugging he continued, "Either way, now I know what color my insides are and that if reattached quick enough, my limbs can be grafted back on though I still don't want to test to see if it's the same for my head," Naruto finished as everyone but Tenten turned an unhealthy shade of green. What the hell was wrong with this kid?
"Tenten is this all true?" Gai asked in a stern voice. He didn't like the idea of her nearly killing fellow Konoha shinobi.
"Relax Bushy Brow-sensei, This was back when we were still in the academy and orphanage. One day I saw her practicing with weapons and noticed she was looking quite bored just attacking a stuffed doll, so I offered my services as a moving target and sparring partner. I mean really, haven't you ever wondered how a clanless orphan got so good at wielding not only kunai and shuriken, but as well as numerous other weapons?" Naruto asked with a bit of a condescending smirk.
Now that the taijutsu master thought about it, it WAS rather odd how an orphan was so adept at fighting with weapons and knowing just where to strike to either incapacitate or kill. He felt a little ashamed that he hadn't gotten to know his students a little better.
"Tenten, Neji I have failed you as a sensei!" Gai exclaimed as he burst into tears, "From here on out I promise to be a better sensei, no, the BEST sensei I can be! I promise by my burning flames of YOOOOUTH!" with that Gai grabbed both Neji and Tenten and rocketed into the air on a fiery rainbow, all the while screaming 'youth' while both Tenten and Neji screamed out of pure terror.
"Well…. That's new," Kakashi said with a slightly surprised but still lazy look.
"That… was scarier than Naruto," Sakura stated with a deadpan expression.
Suddenly there was a rumbling noise and everyone turned to see Naruto's body shaking quite violently. Suddenly cracks started to appear in Naruto's body, revealing a blinding white light. Soon, Naruto exploded into light white, causing team 7 to look away.
When they looked back they saw a miniature but blonde and goggled version of Gai. They stared in horror at Naruto's bright smile, bushy blonde eyebrows with matching blonde bowl cut. In absolute terror they watched him assume the 'Nice Gai' pose and launch into the air with a rainbow stream behind him, screaming "YOOOOUTH!"
They stared in silence for a while before Sakura said, "I stand corrected,"
1 week later, Team 7 bridge meeting spot
Sakura sighed as she sat and waited for her ever-late sensei with her teammates. Sometimes she wondered why she even showed up when she did, she could show up three hours late and probably still be there before her sensei. She glanced at her teammates taking note that Sasuke wasn't really acknowledging anyone around him and Naruto was lost somewhere in his mind. She had asked him about it once out of curiosity and he said "Just chatting with a hot piece of tail," confusing her and angering her because she thought Naruto was being a pervert.
Meanwhile, Naruto was chatting with Kyuubi about the seal, which was pretty much gone. 'So Vixen-chan, when do you think you'll be free? From where I stand I'd say a couple days?' he asked.
Kyuubi sighed " Well that's where we hit a snag dumpling," she said in a glum voice.
Naruto quirked an eyebrow at that, 'Snag?' he asked.
"We only have about 36 hours, and after that I will be free, but it won't be quiet or pleasant for either of us," She replied.
'What do you mean exactly?' Naruto asked with some caution.
"It's going to feel like your entire stomach is being set on fire while simultaneously being ripped apart, while I have to go through the process of being removed from your body and creating a new body," Kyuubi explained.
Naruto raised both eyebrows at that and just said 'Damn'
"Yup,"
'Wait how is creating a body painful? I get the whole being ripped out part but how does creating a body hurt?' Naruto asked with slight confusion.
"Because it takes concentration like no other and afterwards the headache is killer, just imagine a whole flock of screaming Sakuras in your head and you get the idea," Kyuubi responded with a shudder. She hated making bodies for herself, the entire process required absolute and total concentration because you had to assimilate your mind and soul into a new body that had to be made with out flaw. The slightest imperfection in the body could result in death. One misplaced cell, not enough blood in your system, to little oxygen to the brain and you'd be dead within the hour. Kyuubi could do it, make no mistake, but it was just a bitch to do and left you with a HUGE headache because your mind has to connect with everything and its not gradual but instant, meaning she'd get her body, blink, pass out from information overload, and wake up with something akin to a hangover caused by seven shots of tequila.
Naruto grimaced at that. The chuunin exams started today and that meant his transformation from simple human to hanyou would be tomorrow during what he thought would be the more dangerous challenges. During the process he was positive he'd be vulnerable and he had no idea how long the process took. Besides that, it's kind of hard not to notice a demon's chakra being released. No doubt the genin would run screaming and Naruto would be more than likely attacked. Then again, his regenerative abilities were impressive as it were, if he was becoming a half demon, wouldn't his regenerative abilities just skyrocket to the point wounds healed almost instantly? 'Then again, best to test that theory when you could defend yourself than when they could actually kill you' Naruto thought with shrug.
'Any ideas on what we should do?' Naruto asked.
"Nope, the best we could do is get a reverse summon to Alala's hunting grounds until the process is over, but considering how you need all three teammates alive to get to the prelims, it would be stupid to leave your teammates alone for longer than, what? 5 minutes? 10?" Kyuubi said with slight annoyance.
'So just go with the flow and hope for the best?' Naruto asked.
"Pretty much,"
Naruto sighed a bit at that. He didn't really like not having a plan, but in their current situation, improvisation would have to be implemented. Besides, never hurt to think on your feet, kept the mind sharp and made sure you kept your plans flexible. Naruto was interrupted from his musings when a poof of smoke heralded the arrival of Kakashi Hatake.
"YOUR LATE!" Sakura screeched.
"What was that Sakura?" Kakashi asked with his head tilted to the side. Sakura became confused and said it again but the one eyed nin just furrowed his brow.
"I think you made him go deaf," Sasuke said with a wary glance at the pink haired girl. Said girl paled and started panicking, screaming and shouting at her sensei with wild gestures.
Kakashi just stared in puzzlement till Naruto pointed at his ears and mouthed out take them out. In sudden realization, Kakashi removed the plugs that had been in his ears much to the anger/relief of Sakura and amusement of Naruto. Even Sasuke smirked at his sensei's antics.
"Right then you three, as you know the chuunin exams are today. You've already filled out the forms so just head to the academy and go to room 301," Kakashi explained. "You have about a half hour before the first exam starts so you may want to hurry," Kakashi said with an eye smile. Then before Sakura could protest, the man disappeared in a poof of smoke.
"Dammit! How are we going to reach the academy in 30 minutes?" Sakura shouted in anger. Sasuke just grunted and got ready to go when he was interrupted by a shout of "Summoning Jutsu!" and the sound of a giant poof of smoke.
Turning, Sasuke and Sakura beheld the sight of three hyenas, each one as big as a horse with grey fur, black spots and yellow eyes along with a mane of black fur that went from the base of the back of the neck to the middle of their backs except for one whose mane went to the crown of its head and shadowed its eyes.
"Ok, who summoned us?" asked the one with the hair in its eyes in a surprisingly feminine voice.
"Hey Shenzi! You think you, Banzai, and Ed could give us a ride to the academy?" Naruto asked with a big grin.
"And why should we?" asked the one on Shenzi's right in a gravelly annoyed voice. The last hyena, one with unfocused eyes a big grin and tongue lolling out of his head, nodded up and down comically, tongue actually slapping its head.
"He's got a point, whats in it for us?" asked Shenzi
Naruto smirked at that and pulled out a scroll. Wiping some blood on it, the scroll disappeared and in its place was an elephant's shinbone, something twice the size and width of Naruto, but the blonde carried it easily. Banzai looked surprised while Ed drooled at the sight of the bone.
"Give us a ride and the bone is yours," Naruto said, while dangling the bone in front of the ill-tempered hyena.
"Deal!" shouted the three hyenas, well two of them shouted; the other gave a loud yelping laugh. Without further ado, Naruto leapt onto Shenzi's back while the other two snatched up both Sakura and Sasuke by their clothes and sped off towards the academy.
At the academy
With a mighty thud all three hyenas landed in the front of the academy building. Naruto was sitting relaxed on top of Shenzi while Sakura was screaming to be let go from Banzai, whom was currently holding her by her long pink hair. Sasuke looked very annoyed as he tried to stop Ed from gnawing on his legs.
"Thanks for the ride guys! Here's your payment," Naruto called out to the hyena trio as he tossed the bone to them. Immediately the two males released their charges and flung themselves at the bone, all three disappearing in a poof of smoke with the elephant shin nowhere in sight.
"NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!" Sakura screeched angrily at Naruto while the Uchiha sent him a murderous glare.
"No time to listen to your mouth now Sakura, we have work to do. My hyenas got us here in time but unless you wish to stay a genin for the rest of your life, you may want to shut the hell up and get your unattractive ass into the building," Naruto stated as he walked briskly over to the academy doors.
Sakura was about to retort but, thought better of it and instead settled for a Sasuke. Glare ahead and brood. Upon looking back to see if his teammates were following, Naruto smirked upon seeing Sakura channeling her inner emo. It warmed his insane little heart to see he had brought the Uchiha closer to his fangirl.
Upon entering the academy, the three chuunin hopefuls progressed towards the third floor where the first exam was to be held. However a rather large crowd blocking their way stopped their progress. They watched as a boy, who looked like a miniature version of Gai, except with white wrappings all over his hands and forearms and minus the jacket, was knocked back by two Leaf ninja who were guarding the door. Naruto noticed that Tenten was helping this boy back to his feet and deduced that this must be the final member of Team 9.
"Let us in already!" cried one of the genin.
"No way kid, these exams are tough, and if you can't get past us then you'll just end up a bloody smear," stated one of the genin guarding the door.
"Yeah, we're actually doing you guys a favor, so just get lost," stated the other.
Naruto sighed at the genin in front of him and debated on whether he should reveal the genjutsu or not. On one hand, by not telling them he eliminated a good portion of the competition and upped his team's chances at survival but on the other hand, that would make the exams much more boring. Naruto knew for a fact he would be required to fight other opponents and even allowed to kill them and by eliminating these opponents he denied himself the chance at testing out his new skills and the thrill of a fight. Besides, with more teams, it was less likely his team would be targeted in the upcoming exams. Before the blonde could reach a conclusion, mister 'cool' decided to act.
"Oi, drop the genjutsu!" Sasuke ordered causing everyone to look at him.
"What are you talking about?" asked a random student.
"He means that you all need to work on your arithmetic," Naruto stated with a smirk. "Tell me, what floor are we on?" asked the blonde.
"The second floor," a boy said immediately.
"Very good! Here's a treat," Naruto stated as he tossed a biscuit at the boy. "Now what room is the first exam in?" Naruto asked in a sickeningly sweet voice.
"Room 301," stated the boy who Naruto had thrown the biscuit at. Surprisingly said boy was eating the biscuit, well, surprising to everyone who hasn't met an Inuzuka for that's what the boy was.
"Excellent! Here's another treat my smart little friend," Naruto exclaimed in a voice dripping with sarcastic pride. "Now if room 101 is on the first floor and room 200 is on the second floor, why would room 301 also be on the second floor?" Naruto asked. Immediately the light bulb went off and there was the sound of collective face palm. "Ahh, music to my ears!" Naruto stated as he started to walk away.
"You son of a bitch!" screamed a random boy as he moved to strike the blonde. Naruto was about to retaliate when none other than the mini Gai blocked both attacks. Naruto quirked an eyebrow at the speed the boy displayed, but he couldn't say he was too surprised. Gai prided himself on his speed and if this was a mini me of the man, then he was obviously taught speed and power front and foremost.
"Lee! I thought said to keep our abilities hidden!" Tenten scolded the bowl cut haired boy.
"But Tenten-chan I-" Lee started only to be interrupted by the rude arrival of one certain Hyuuga.
"Our element of surprise has been spoiled, there is nothing we can do about it so move on to the third floor," Neji ordered coldly. With that, he sent a glare at the Uchiha and moved on, his teammates following behind. Soon, team 7 followed them but was stopped once again, this time by Rock lee himself.
"Uchiha Sasuke I challenge you to a duel!" stated the boy loudly.
"As much as I'd love to see Mr. Sad sack-less get his ass kicked, I'm afraid we're running late so he must respectfully decline," Naruto stated, moving up the stairs already.
"Hmph, this won't take long," Sasuke stated as he got into his stance. Naruto rolled his eyes and sat down to watch the show. There's just nothing quite like watching a pompous fool get his arrogant ass kicked.
As he predicted Sasuke was getting creamed. No matter what Sasuke tried, Lee was simply much faster than him, and, judging by the kick that sent Sasuke up into the air with a look on his face that screamed agony, the green clad boy was also much stronger.
Naruto watched as Sasuke started to fall head first into the ground when Lee appeared behind him, also upside down. The bowl cut youth's bandages then started to wrap around Sasuke when suddenly, the bandages were pinned to a wall by… a pinwheel? As soon as Naruto felt the presence of Maito Gai, the blonde left, not wishing to be any later than he already was.
Soon the blonde approached the double doors to room 301 and was surprised to find his sensei leaning against a wall.
"Hey Naruto, whats up?" Kakashi asked pleasantly. He looked around then asked, "Where's Sasuke and Sakura?"
Naruto chuckled at that, "He's getting his ass kicked by one of Gai's students and Sakura stayed to watch," Naruto said with a shrug. "If I'm right, Gai probably appeared to stop Lee from doing a move that should never be done on a comrade, punished him, then they probably did that man hug thing of theirs," Naruto stated nonchalantly. He paused though with a thoughtful look, "Though where the heck does that genjutsu of theirs come from? It doesn't use chakra or handsigns," the blonde asked.
Kakashi just shrugged and decided to wait for the other two like Naruto. "Actually I know where that genjutsu comes from," Kyuubi stated. Interested, Naruto tuned out the real world for a second.
'Really? Then how does it work?' asked the blonde with intrigue.
"The process is a bit like killing intent," Kyuubi started, "Killing intent uses a concentration of hatred or intimidation to make the victim see their own deaths, however, the genjutsu that the two green guys use is fueled by what you humans call 'guy love'"
There was a pause for a second. 'So basically you can make genjutsus with just emotions? And if you make one out of pure guy love it looks like a waterfall with a rainbow?' Naruto asked.
"Its mostly just for show, the only emotional genjutsu that's actually effective is killing intent, but then again, its easily dispelled" Kyuubi explained.
'Then how do you dispel the man hug genjutsu?'
"You know what they say, nothing can destroy true love and there is hardly any love truer than guy love" answered the vixen sagely.
The blonde just shrugged and decided he'd stay satisfied with the answer, no reason to use more brainpower than necessary right? As the blonde finished he saw Sasuke and Sakura approaching, though it was more like Sakura dragging Sasuke because of the thrashing he took from Lee. 'Wonder if he used his sharingan in that fight?' Naruto mused.
"Ah it seems you're all here," Kakashi said, "That's good, because if even one of you had not come then none of you wold be able to enter the exams," he finished with an eye smile.
Sakura of course freaked out and asked what the point was while Sasuke got really annoyed at that bit of information. If either one of his teammates had chickened out he would have lost hi chance at getting stronger. Naruto was unfazed. He knew an entire team was needed and he would have just made two shadow clones henged as his teammates if neither showed up or if one was missing. He was actually surprised when Sakura signed up.
Team 7 then walked into the exam room where they were met with a squeal of "Sasuke-kun!" A platinum blonde haired girl clad in a purple dress that left little to the imagination of course followed this; the girl's name was Ino Yamanaka. Currently she had latched on to Sasuke like her life depended on it, which in turn caused Sakura to get in a screaming match with her. During this the other genin were trying to intimidate the new arrivals but that was quickly dispelled when
Naruto unleashed some of his own KI.
Naruto just tuned the girls out and walked up to Ino's teammates, Shikamaru Nara and Chouji Akamichi. Shikamaru was easily defined as lazy genius; his constantly bored looking eyes never missing a beat. He had black hair tied into a ponytail that made him look like a pineapple with matching black eyes. He wore a mesh shirt underneath a gray short sleeved jacket with the Nara clan symbol on both shoulders, his headband was tied around his left arm, a hoop earring in both ears, brown pants and standard shinobi sandals.
Chouji was a rather rotund brown haired person with swirls on his cheeks. He too had a hoop earring in each ear and wore a green short jacket over a white T-shirt with the kanji for 'eat' written on the front. He also wore large white scarf, grey shorts, bandages on his legs and forearms, standard shinobi sandals and wears his headband bandanna style.
"Yo Shikamaru, what's up?" Naruto greeted the lazy boy. "Gotta say never expected your lazy ass to be here,"
"My mom made me," the Nara stated in a bored tone.
"Ha! Something tells me that in the future, you're going to be completely pussy whipped Nara," Naruto stated with a laugh. Shikamaru just grunted while Chouji stuffed his face with chips.
"How the hell did you get into the exams Uzumaki?" asked a voice from behind our blonde maniac. Turning Naruto smirked as he saw the final members of the rookie nine, Team 8. Team 8 was composed of Shino Aburame, Hinata Hyuuga and Kiba Inuzuka. Kiba wore a dark grey sweatshirt with a fur-lined hood and matching shorts with the standard blue shinobi sandals. He had red fang like triangles under his slit eyes and atop his brown hair was a white dog named Akamaru. Hinata wore a baggy beige jacket with flame symbols on the shoulders and standard shinobi shorts with the standard sandals. Her head band was around her neck and she had midnight blue hair that was cut short with two bangs framing her face that housed lavender tinted white pupil less eyes. Lastly, Shino had a long tan trench coat that had a high collar that covered his face up to his nose, along with perfectly round shades to hide his eyes and brown hair. He also wore the standard shinobi shorts and sandals with his headband in the traditional fashion and place. "Why does all of team 8 wear jackets except for their sensei? Seriously its like "Join the club we have jackets!" While I'm at it why does all of team 10 have earrings? It doesn't make sense!)
"Well seeing as the writer is done with his rant my answer to your question dog-breath is that I signed up," Naruto responded with a smirk. With that he pointedly ignored the dog boy and started to observe the other competition. For the most part, the blonde was unimpressed except for the teams from Suna, Oto and Kusa. There was something about the redhead with the gourd on his back that told Naruto to be extremely careful.
"Oh Kami please no," Kyuubi moaned.
'Eh? Whats up Vixen-chan?'
"I'm pretty sure that Suna kid has the Ichibi sealed inside of him," she replied in a kill me tone.
'Ok but why are you acting like that's a bad thing? Granted he'll be a bit of a problem but nine tails beats one'
"Ichibi is an insane pervert that never leaves me alone," Kyuubi explained.
While this had been going on Naruto had missed the introduction of a silver haired bespectacled genin named Kabuto. He had just finished saying that he had a ton of information because he had taken the exams seven times.
"If you need information about people just ask me and I'll see what I've got with my ninja info cards," stated the boy.
"What info do you have on a guy named Rock Lee and Naruto Uzumaki?" Sasuke demanded
"Also do you have any info on a red haired sand ninja with a gourd strapped to his back?" Naruto asked.
"Ok lets see here," started the boy as he pulled out three cards, "Rock Lee of Konoha has completed 25 D-ranks and three C-ranks. He has absolutely no nin or genjutsu to speak of but his taijutsu is off the charts. Teammates are Tenten and Neji Hyuuga and Jounin sensei is Maito Gai," stated the boy "The boy with the gourd on his back is Gaara no Sabaku, completed 25 D-ranks 15 B-ranks and four A-ranks and if that isn't impressive enough, he came back without a single scratch on him," Kabuto stated with some surprise. "he also has a mastery over manipulating sand,"
"Definitely Ichibi jinchuuriki, most likely use a sand shield if the without a scratch thing is anything is to go by" Kyuubi stated. Naruto mentally noted that the best way to get past the shield would be with a piercing attack, most likely lightning based.
"Lastly, Naruto Uzumaki, completed 25 D-ranks and two A-ranks," started the boy before he was interrupted.
"Two A-ranks? But our team has only completed one A-rank!" Sakura protested.
"He's most likely referring to my find of Kyoufushou's notes. I turned some of them in but kept the majority for myself," Naruto stated nonchalantly.
Kabuto nodded at that and continued "Naruto also holds a summoning contract for hyenas, some strong ninjutsu, no genjutsu to speak of, a formidable taijutsu and a very interesting control over shadows," Kabuto finished.
"Naruto be very careful, this guy smells like snakes, same for those Oto nin and the Kusa nin," Kyuubi stated with a growl As she was speaking, Kabuto made a statement about the sound nins which caused them to attack the silver haired nin. A bandaged hunchback dude swung at him but apparently missed. However, Kabuto's glasses broke and he ended up vomiting from the frequency produced by the hunchback's strange arm contraption. Before things could escalate, there was a giant poof of smoke and when it cleared there stood Ibiki with a congregation of chuunins armed with clipboards.
"Alright maggots shut up and take your seats or I fail you here and now!" barked the interrogator, "The first exam begins now!" Quickly everyone took a designated eat and listened as the proctor explained the rules. The first exam was apparently a written exam and the rules were that you have ten points and you get a point for each question you answer, There were nine questions and the lat one would be given after 45 minutes into the exam. Every time caught cheating and you lost two points. Caught five times and you are failed along with the rest of your team. As soon as Naruto saw the questions he knew there was no way he could answer these questions. Sakura and Shikamaru could, but everyone else would either have t sit there like a statue or cheat.
Looking around, Naruto noticed that everyone was cheating. The suna nin who wore a cat suit and make up, (Its war paint damn it!) was using a puppet disguised as a chuunin to get the answers while Gaara used the third eye technique. Kiba was using Akamaru while Shino used his bugs. Tenten used mirrors to get the answers while Sasuke and the Hyuugas used their doujutsus to get their answers. Ino used a mind transfer technique to get her answers from Sakura.
Shrugging, Naruto made a shadow clone under his desk and switched with it then quickly melted into the shadows so he was halfway between the shadow world and real world. Quickly, he jumped to a shadow beneath on of Tenten's mirrors and quickly transferred the answers he saw with his clone mentally. 'Well that was easy, five bucks says the last question has something to do with if we have the guts to take the last question' thought the blonde
45 minutes later, after the rules for he tenth question are revealed
"Those of you who are still here," Ibiki said with a dramatic pause, "have passed,"
There was silence then, "NANI?" people then started asking what the tenth question was and all that jazz until Ibiki explained that a ninja must be willing to go forward, despite the fact that there was an unknown factor.
'Somebody now owes me five bucks' Naruto thought with a grin, Kyuubi just rolled her eyes at her container.
'When I get out of here you're going to get something a lot better than five bucks' Kyuubi thought with a perverted grin.
A black ball of cloth that smashed through the window interrupted the thoughts of everyone. The ball then exploded revealing a banner that said "Your second exam proctors, the sexy and single, Anko Mitarashi and Zabuza Mamochi!" sure enough, standing in front of the banner was Anko in a sexy pose and Zabuza, who looked completely embarrassed. "Alright maggots! Time for the next exam!" Anko barked.
Ibiki leaned out from behind the banner and said "Anko, you're early again," Everybody got a sweatdrop at this while Zabuza just palmed his face and thought 'Kami kill me now'
Anko blinked and observed the teams before her with a frown, "Yo Ibiki, there are like 21 teams here, what gives? You going soft on me?" she asked.
"no, we just have a pretty good crop this year, which doesn't surprise me considering who else is here," Ibiki stated while pointing at Naruto. Anko looked at said smiling blonde and got a very dangerous glint in her eyes along with a playful smirk.
"Doesn't matter, after this exam, more than half will be eliminated," Anko stated with a sadistic smirk.
This caused most of the genin to either pale or tense up. Our favorite psycho however just gave the biggest smile he could and thought 'Fun time'
A/N: Done! I'm so sorry this took so long but school started and I got held up with birthdays and homework (plus the Spanish teacher is a bitch, Damn you Senora Blanco!) Anyway updates will probably take a while so yeah sorry.