Laughter of the Broken

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

"Demon/Summons speaking"

'Demon/Summons thinking'

A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in like… what? 3 months or so? Meh, whatever, been busy with school finals, social like, all that wonderful bullcrap we deal with in life. Hmm… Oh yeah! I want to thank everyone for the reviews and I especially want to thank To A certain KiTsUnE for the waffle they gave me! Mmmm… syyyruuup (drools over keyboard) Eh? OH! Right as for those who think Naruto knows about Danzo and Madara and his father let me clear some things.

Kyuubi knows only one person that can control her outside of a seal and that's Madara because of those god damned over powered eyes of his! Second, Naruto is smart and he can make the connection between himself and the Fourth, I mean they look almost exactly alike (before the transformation anyway) and the only other blondes in Konoha are the Yamanakas. Lastly, Naruto only knows about Danzo's ROOT and that he's doing some things Sarutobi doesn't approve or know about. Naruto knows Danzo is doing something, just not sure what exactly, plus he just doesn't really care about Danzo. While on this topic, if those are curious to how Naruto knows about the Uchiha coup, well…, its kind of easy to explore abandoned areas, especially if you have Naruto's shadow abilities.

"So whatcha gonna do now aniki?" asked Ko from his position atop Senso's head. Currently Naruto and his familiars were walking through Konoha on their way towards the hospital. Naruto was leading, in his more human form. Though the demonic genin was more than tempted to just go full demon form and scare the living shit out of everyone. Following closely behind was Senso with Ko firmly seated on his head cross-legged with a piece of straw in his mouth. Surprisingly, the violent familiar showed no irritation in carrying the small child. If anything, the giant seemed fairly content to carry the small blonde.

Kuro and Chie were walking a bit behind the other two and both had apparently decided that the world didn't need to see their faces. While Chie just hid behind his fan and tilted his hat a little lower over his face, Kuro had the gas mask on his face and had decided to put on a high collared grey trench coat along with a black metal cap on his head, but what disturbed many people who saw him wasn't the intimidating clothing, but the pure black symbols drawn on the shoulders of the coat. Naruto had never seen them before but he immediately knew that the strange X, Senso had called it a swasti-something, was an inherently evil symbol meant to instill fear in anyone who saw them.

The boy chuckled to himself, 'And it seems to be working like a charm' thought Naruto as he saw the villagers give his group a wide birth and keep sending terrified glances to Kuro. Turning, the demon boy decided to answer Ko's question, "I'm going to train of course!" stated the blonde with a chuckle, "What else am I going to do with a month of no shinobi duties?" he asked.

"Slaughter the villagers?" suggested Senso, making several passersby give terrified squeaks before running off.

"A nice idea but no, I'm going to train for my upcoming fight," dismissed Naruto casually.

"Why?" asked the muffled voice of Kuro, his voice much deeper and gruffer due to the mask. "From what we know, you're already strong enough to beat her easy," he stated in a monotone.

"Really?" Naruto stopped and turned to face him. "Tell me then, how could I so easily beat Hinata Hyuuga?" he asked, an amused twinkle dancing in his eye.

"You have mastery over the shadows to the point where you can kill someone with their own, three Kage's worth of chakra, a healing factor that can repair most fatal attacks within seconds, unbelievable stamina combined with demonic strength, speed and reflexes combined with a genius some would marvel at combined with a ruthlessness to be feared," Kuro stated, "Lets not forget you also have a summoning contract with hyenas, fear toxin and you can go head to head with jounin level ninja," Kuro finished.

"You forgot to mention he's got a gun," Senso deadpanned. This brought chuckles from the rest except for Kuro.

"True, but what do we know about Hinata and her fighting style?" asked Naruto as he once again began moving through the streets.

"She's from the Hyuuga clan and is the heiress so she probably knows the more advanced forms of her clan's fighting style," Senso began.

"Juken right?" Ko piped up. Senso nodded at that. "That's the style that uses that creepy eye of theirs to attack chakra pathways and organs right?" asked the blonde as he spun the piece of straw between his fingers.

"It is Ko, it is said to be the ultimate taijutsu for the simple fact that it needs only one tap to be fatal. Someone who has enough knowledge of the human body could copy it but the chakra control required to utilize it correctly is tremendous," Senso explained.

"Why not just use long range attacks or use speed?" Ko inquired as he leapt off Senso's head and onto the ground. "Knowing Hyuuga, they probably only use their clan techniques meaning they would only have basic ninja skills and specialize in close range right?" he stated.

"Normally that would be true but Hinata is a different case Ko," Chie stated.

Naruto raised a brow at that. "And how would you figure that?" he asked. "She's cold, arrogant and has a look that could stop a stampede of elephants," Naruto pointed out.

"To some yes," Chie replied, "However, there is a difference between being cold and being filled with hate," he explained. This caused the rest of the group to give him a slightly confused look.

"What do you mean filled with hate?" Kuro asked slowly.

"It means exactly how it sounds," Chie stated evenly, "From what I know, Hinata is seen as a failure in her clan, or rather, she was. Apparently at some point, the girl became fed up with the treatment and devoted everything into becoming strong, to prove her entire clan wrong,"

There was silence for a moment as this information was digested. "So she became strong to prove her family wrong?" Naruto asked with a raised brow. The bucket hat wearing clone merely nodded. "I suppose she is now the undisputed clan heiress and everyone kisses the ground she walks on, thus giving her an ego comparable to the Uchiha?" he asked.

"You're half right sempai," Chie stated as he began walking ahead of the group again towards the hospital. Not even breaking stride he began to explain again, "Hinata is treated like a princess now, and she is the clan heir but the girl absolutely hates it," Chie paused for a moment so they could digest that, "For some reason, and I have several theories, Hinata either thinks you are completely useless and will treat you with as much contempt as possible or she'll think you have SOME use and will TOLERATE your existence," finished the clone with heavy emphasis on some and tolerate.

"So… how exactly does that help us?" asked Senso, a blank look on his face.

Naruto answered this time, "It means Hinata is a predominantly unknown enemy with some known factors and those known factors are… disconcerting to say the least," he finished. Then a wicked grin spread across his features as they had reached their destination, namely, the Konoha Hospital. "However, we're going to be finding out a lot more about Princess then she wants us to know," chuckled the demon-boy.

"How does the hospital help us find out about Hinata aniki?" Ko questioned, his confusion mirrored in the faces of Senso and, though unseen, Kuro.

Naruto chuckled at the question as he strolled towards the building, "If you ever want information on your enemy, the first place to look is the hospital, especially if your enemy is a bloodline wielding ninja," he explained with a grin as the doors opened in front of him revealing a rather empty lobby slash waiting room. The secretary, a woman of average beauty, barely acknowledged the door opening and just went back to reading her magazine.

"What makes you think we'll find any information on Hinata by looking through a hospital?" questioned Kuro.

Naruto merely shook his head before turning to glare at the familiar. "The hospital will have records on Hinata's past injuries, genetic make up physical build and even a mental evaluation be cause every ninja is required to go through a mental evaluation every couple of years so they don't end up having a mental breakdown in the middle of a mission," he snapped. "Plus both her teammate and cousin are here, use your brain and figure out why we're here,"

Kuro stepped back slightly as Naruto's piercing yellow eyes glared at him. "I apologize Naruto-sempai, please, explain what we are doing here," apologized the clone. He may be an uncaring ass at times, but Kuro liked being alive.

Naruto merely snorted at him before explaining, "It's simple, I want information on Hinata and we have four sources at the least to pump for info so" here he pointed a finger at Chie, "Chie I want you and Kuro to find any records on Hinata Hyuuga, that includes everything from blood type to phobias, understand?" both males nodded before vanishing into the shadows. "Senso, go talk to that Neji kid and Ko, go talk to Kiba," the two aforementioned blinked at this.

"Uh, what makes you think they'll tell us anything about Hinata?" Senso asked.

Naruto simply smirked, "Because Neji hates Hinata and he'll gladly give up any of her secrets to get back at the main house," Senso nodded at that. "As for Kiba, the mutt doesn't use his brain too much and so long as it doesn't look like Ko is fishing, he'll let one or two things slip up, all you have to do," here Naruto placed a hand on Ko's head, "is get him to start talking, understand?"

Ko grinned before vanishing via shadow travel like his brothers but Senso had yet to leave. "What are you gonna do then boss?" asked the burly man to Naruto's retreating form, the clone was not exactly keen on the idea that he has to work while Naruto goes and fools around.

The gray haired genin laughed a bit before turning to face his familiar. "I'm going to find Kakashi then see if those sound genin are here and see if they feel well enough for a small," here he gave a chuckle "chat," with that the Uzumaki left, laughing darkly as the shadows consumed him.

Senso soon followed the other's examples and vanished into his shadow.

Hospital, Neji's Room

He couldn't believe it. Wait, yes, yes, he could believe it he just didn't think she would do it! He thought she would just be too arrogant, have some kind of honor or some modicum of pity!

But no, she had bested him, utterly humiliated him in front of everyone! Had taken his curse, and brought his weakness and most hated shame to light.

The boy clenched his fists in anger as he thought over his fight with one Hinata Hyuuga. 'I shouldn't be surprised,' Neji thought bitterly. 'They're nothing but honorless cowards and arrogant slavers!'

"Sitting here in anger isn't going to help you get revenge on her," said a rough voice, causing Neji to look up in surprise and alarm. The boy hadn't felt or seen anyone come in and he was sure the door had been locked as was his request, but none the less, someone had entered his room.

Turning his head the Hyuuga beheld a giant of a man, casually leaning his heavily muscled form on the wall next to the door. That was all Neji could see however because his visitor was cloaked in shadow.

"Who are you? What do you want?" demanded the cold boy. He may be bed ridden but the Hyuuga refused to be intimidated by this simple brute. A quick swishing noise followed by rattling chain was barely enough warning for Neji to jerk his head to the side and avoid a dao sword that imbedded itself into the wall behind him. After getting over his shock, the boy noticed the length of chain that was connected to the sword's handle ring that was also connected n the other end to the wrist of an outstretched hand that belonged to none other then his mysterious and obviously violent visitor.

"You are in no position to command me boy, you are lucky I am not allowed to kill you," growled out the stranger. With that the stranger finally came out of the dark and Neji could see just who had decided to visit him, and if he were honest with himself, he was scared shitless.

The man in front of him was huge, and armed to the teeth! On his back was another Dao sword along with a naginata that stood straight against his back, perfectly aligned with his spine. There was a cloth attached to the banner and Neji could see there was something painted on it, but he couldn't see what. Along with the swords and spear like weapon there was a red kunai holster on his right thigh with a matching shuriken pouch on his left thigh and below that was a combat knife strapped to his right shin. Neji was positive he had more weapons on him and he had a sneaking suspicion they could be summoned via the red tribal tattoo that took up the most of his right side. However, the hulking physique nor the weapons is what scared Neji the most. No, wha scared him the most was the red eyes that stared at him.

His murky red eyes were burning with fury and in them you could see he was planning on what would be the best way to kill you. They seemed to ask if Neji would prefer having his limbs ripped off or his guts splattered all over the wall.

"W-Who are you?" Neji asked once more, this time his voice very cautious and scared, but pathetically hidden behind a mask of cold calculation.

Senso snorted and yanked on the extended chain, yanking his sword free and catching it with practiced ease. "It is polite to give your own name before asking someone else's whelp, but my name is Senso," he stated before approaching the bedridden boy. "You know my name now tell me yours," the clone finished as he seated himself on a stool next to Neji's bed, effectively putting the Hyuuga child on edge.

"It's Neji, Hyuuga Neji," the pale eyed boy replied after reigning in his emotions, most of them anyway, he was still unnerved by the warrior next to him. "What exactly do you want Senso-san," Neji asked.

Senso raised an eyebrow before smirking slightly. "I'm here for information on one Hinata Hyuuga, her fighting style, jutsu, quirks anything that will help my boss take her down in the finals," he stated bluntly.

Neji was surprised at such a straightforward answer before he quickly scowled as he realized just whom the hulking man was working for. "And what makes you think Uzumaki will succeed where I have failed?" he snapped, all fear replaced with fury and annoyance. "I will admit the boy has skill but he cannot beat someone like Hinata,"

"And why would Naruto lose?" asked Senso.

"Because it is Hinata's fate to win, to be on top while it is my fate to be her servant and protector. It was fated that she would win, and I defied fate when I believed I could beat her," Neji said, gripping his sheets angrily. "I was fated to lose to her, all because of this damned seal!" Neji all but shouted in fury. It wasn't fair! The only reason she won was because of the damn Caged Bird Seal on his head! He never wanted it and she would be the one with it if his father hadn't been born seconds after Hinata's. A mere two fucking seconds had damned him! If that hadn't been enough then-

Neji was stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Surprised Neji looked to see Senso with a hand on the young man's shoulder. "You have a lot of anger in your heart boy, but no outlet, no true one anyway, am I correct?" Senso inquired.

Surprised Neji stared at the man before slowly nodding an affirmitive. "Tell me, do you truly believe in fate? Truly believe that there is a reason behind everything and that whatever happens was meant to happen?" Senso asked.

Neji gave the answer that had been pounded into his skull ever since he could walk. "Fate controls everything, how we act, speak, look and especially our positions in life. None can go against fate and those who try, die. The Hyuuga have been taught this since birth,"

Senso growled and smacked Neji upside the head. "I asked if YOU believed in fate, whelp! I didn't ask what you were taught to believe!" he growled.

Neji apologized quickly before he went silent and started to contemplate on what he thought of fate. Senso watched as Neji's body started to tense up more and more, signifying that the boy was getting angrier and angrier, something that made Senso smirk in satisfaction.

"Well what do you think of fate? And please give me your honest opinion about the thing that has fucked you over since birth," Senso said in amusement. That last comment was what sent Neji's anger over the edge.

"Fate is a bitch! I'd like to take her and make her my bitch so I can fuck it whenever I want!" roared Neji Hyuuga. "But I can't, not so long as I have this damn seal on me!" Neji finished, a hand coming up to clutch at his forehead.

Senso smiled a bit as he rested a hand on Neji's shoulder. "Boy, what if I told you I might know of a way to get rid of that seal and a way for you to make fate your bitch?" Senso asked.

Immediately Naji's head shot up and he gave the hulking man a burning stare. "How? And if you are lying to use me I will kill you," he threatened, leaking killing intent as he did.

The warrior laughed at him, "Trust me kid, I'm violent, not deceptive. Now, in order to make fate your bitch all you have to do is tell me everything you know about the Hyuuga clan fighting style along with any techniques Hinata might know," seeing him hesitate, Senso gave one final push, "Think of it, the heiress to the main branch completely and utterly defeated by the village's most despised ninja. Naruto wins, the Hyuuga main branch gets humiliated, you get your revenge and possibly your seal removed and to top it all off, the main branch will never know that one of their servants went against fate and fucked them over," Senso said in a tempting voice.

That was all the initiative he needed. "What exactly do you wish to know?" Neji asked, a malevolent smirk on his face, one that Senso mirrored.

Kiba's room

He sighed for what must have been the twentieth time that day. In the end, he should have known he had no chance. At least, not against someone like Naruto Uzumaki. He chuckled bitterly to himself, in all honesty, did ANYONE in their age group have a chance against him?

"Well, Hinata-chan might, what do you think Akamaru?" Kiba asked his canine companion. The dog merely gave a half hearted bark in response. Kiba just gave another sigh. 'Might as well just sleep then wait for more of that nasty food to be delivered' thought the Inuzuka as he slowly shut his eyes, however they flew back open when he heard someone knocking on his door. 'who the heck could that be?' thought the dog boy. "Come on int," he called, curiosity pushing him to find out who it was. Needless to say he was surprised by who he saw walk in.

"Hey Kiba-san!" Ko greeted loudly, "Sorry aniki beat you up so bad but I brought some ramen to help you heal!" he stated with a chuckle as he held up a bowl of ramen. Kiba just blinked as the blonde haired child handed the bowl to him and pulled up a chair, his legs swinging in the air, as they were too short to reach the ground.

Seeing as Kiba had yet to even look at the bowl Ko stated, "If you don't eat that ramen then I will,"

Kiba blinked in surprise before a sheepish smiled graced his features. Chuckling, the dog boy broke apart his chopsticks and took a bite of the noodles. Immediately his eyes widened and he snapped his head to look at Ko, catching the familiar by surprise.

"This is freakin delicious!" Kiba exclaimed. "Where in the hell did you get this?" he asked before digging in.

Ko just laughed. "I got it from a ramen stand called Ichiraku's, the only people working there are an old man and his daughter, but their ramen is awesome!" he declared.

Kiba could only nod in agreement as he ate his first real meal since he was admitted to the place. "I'll say! This stuff is great!"

Smiling, Ko decided to begin his mission. "You know your team is pretty tough, you included," Ko commented.

Kiba stopped his eating for a second and looked up at the blonde, suspicion and some confusion apparent in his eyes. "How do you figure?" he asked slowly.

Ko just shrugged before replying, "Well, Hinata and that Shino guy took their opponents out pretty easily and you lasted longer than I thought you would against aniki," noticing Kiba's now angry and curious look, he decided to elaborate, "I'm really not kidding with you! I mean, if you hadn't let your emotions run, you probably would have done some serious damage to aniki!"while he was saying this, the child was also thinking, 'Course as soon as you did do damage to him it would heal then he'd go ape shit but still, hurting aniki is an accomplishment in and of itself'

At hearing this, Kiba decided to just take the compliment, besides it felt nice to be flattered. "Thanks kid, but there's no way that creep is gonna beat Hinata," Kiba declared confidently.

Ko gave a small scowl at that. "Yeah right, aniki will kick her ass no problem!" he declared, "Naruto-nee is way too fast for her and he doesn't even have to get close to her to beat her!"

Kiba bristled a bit at this and decided to put the runt in his place, "Ha! I've seen that freak's speed and it's nowhere fast enough to escape Hinata's eyes! Besides, there is no way he'll be able to get past her ultimate defense, and even if he did Hinata is like smoke, untouchable!" Kiba shot back.

"Well Naruto could break her defense easy! Besides she's a Hyuuga, and Hyuuga don't fight long ranged so when she comes to try and hit aniki," here Ko punched his palm with enthusiasm, "POW! Lights out!" he exclaimed.

"Ha!" Kiba laughed, "Hinata doesn't need to get close to that baka to beat him! She'll just use her jutsu to take him down!"

Ko snorted at this, further irritating Kiba, "Oh yeah because Hyuuga have such AMAZING long range attacks," he said sarcastically.

Kiba was starting to see red so he didn't exactly use his rain when he said what he said next, "Hinata will roast him! She'll use her fire jutsu to turn him into freak flambé!" he roared.

Mentally, Ko started doing a victory dance in his head, a chibi version of himself dancing around while a chibi version of Kiba was crying and wearing a dunce cap with the kanji for dumbass inscribed on it. Outside, however, Ko just huffed and jumped out of his chair, "We'll see who wins dog boy, just be sure to ask what kind of flowers Hinata would like at her funeral!" he declared as he walked out of the room, leaving behind a very angry and irritated Kiba..

With the original

Naruto, while his familiars collected information, was wandering the hospital in search of his sensei or Sasuke's room, whichever he found first. Being who he was, the demon child couldn't just walk up to the hospital staff and ask to see someone, oh no, the hospital absolutely refused to have anything to do with him and as soon as they saw him, would drive him out.

"You'd think they'd appreciate all the business I give them," he spoke to himself. "But nooo! Steal a couple of patients for some research and they get pissed at you! Besides they were criminals sentenced to death anyway!" he ranted, "And where does it say I'm not allowed to take bodies from the morgue! I had to ransack the Uchiha family burial grounds to get a proper subject, and half of them had their freaking eyes ripped out!" he yelled while shaking his fists in the air. He stood like that for a moment before dropping his hands to his sides and adopting a bored look "Eh, like I care, got what I needed and they can't kick me out if they don't see me," with that, Naruto started shadow hopping through the hospital, searching for his targets. However he stopped shadow hopping in when he reached the hospital room of one Rock Lee, for something of interest had caught his attention.

That Suna boy, Gaara if Naruto remembered correctly, was in the room, sand waving behind him as the Nara heir had him locked in place with his clan's jutsu and Tenten, who had been checking on her teammate, had a katana drawn and at the ready.

Naruto stopped and watched the scene before him and he learned something that… unsettled him. He waited after everyone had gone before appearing in the room, a blank look on his face as he regarded the still unconscious cripple in front of him.

"He kills… so people will acknowledge him?" Naruto whispered. It sounded… familiar.

Suddenly pain lanced through Naruto's head as visions of what he could only guess were the past tore through his mind like a wild boar. The images were unsure but he began experiencing sensations that he had never thought he experienced. The feelings of safety, warmth of a comforting hug, the happiness that someone didn't hate him yet he had no idea where they were coming from! He'd been hated since day one and only ever found solace in Kyuubi, so he thought maybe they came from her?

No, no, these feelings were older, before that night. At least he guessed they were, he didn't really remember anything before that night except for pain, and solitude. But that pain, those images… they were too familiar to be something his own mind had conjured up to torture him and he hadn't a single nightmare since his transformation.

Either way, Naruto knew there was someone who had comforted him when he was small, someone who had actually cared for him, but he couldn't remember. He did know, that whoever it was, had given him a purpose, a reason to live.

Frowning, the demon child slowly melted back into the shadows and started traveling out of the hospital, he could find Kakashi another time, right now, Naruto just wanted to get his thoughts in order.

The Uzumaki grinned as he thought that, "I wonder what Hebi-hime is up to?" chuckled the hanyou.

Drunken Kunai

The Drunken Kunai was infamous among the Konoha because on any day of the week, you could always catch shinobi there, either celebrating a successful mission or trying to drown a failed one. Hell, it was the hangout spot for any shinobi over the rank of genin. As such, it was also a good place for a spy to gather information or to hide out in since the place had around the clock service and lodging.

Sitting at the bar was a rather attractive female. She had long, untamed red hair that reached just past the small of her back and intense brown eyes that seemed to scream 'back off or suffer' yet that only seemed to enhance her beauty in the eyes of the males who ogled her. She was wearing a pair of simple jeans along with a slightly fitting blue shoulder less shirt, revealing a pair of black bra straps and another pair of blue straps that held the shirt up. Finishing her look was a black skull cap. In all reality, she would have been overlooked if she had been a regular girl but for some reason, she had an aura that attracted many people, mostly males.

Due to this reason, the girl was starting to attract quite the group of drunken and lustful men. "Cum on baby, why dontcha dissch thish place and come with me?" said a drunken patron. "Pff like a fox like this would go anywhere with you! How about it hottie? Me an you," another said with a wink. More such comments came until the redhead had enough.

"Fucking shut up and get the hell out of my face you god damned shit heads!" roared the girl, surprising a good portion of the people with her foul mouth, alas it did nothing to deter them.

"She's a feisty one!" declared a drunkard and once again the men attempted to get into the pants of the increasingly annoyed redhead.

Reaching a boiling point, the girl was just about to teach the drunks to respect her personal space when she was stopped by a strangely happy but dangerous voice that made her pause in confusion while the men all quickly sobered up due to the fear.

"You know, if you guys are looking for a good time I'm always available," said the voice. Slowly, everyone turned to look and see who had spoken and low and behold, the voice belonged to no one other than one Anko Mitarashi. "So, who wants to spend a night with the sexy Anko-sama?" she asked with a grin.

The speed at which those men left could only be described as instantaneous. One minute they're there the next, POOF! Gone.

Anko laughed loudly at that while the red head just blinked before a smirk appeared on her lips. "Thanks, those fuckers were getting annoying," she sai.

Anko just waved her off before sitting on the stool next to her. "No worries, guys like that probably wouldn't last very long anyways, more like comedy relief than actual pleasure," Anko stated with a grin.

The red head laughed at that, she liked this girl, not even caring that she was a Konoha shinobi. "Names Tayuya," the now introduced red head said with an open hand.

Anko smirked as she shook the offered hand, "Anko Mitarashi, sexiest jounin of Konoha!" she declared, "Oi! Get me and my new friend here some drinks and dango! Chop chop before I start chopping!" Anko said with a sadistic grin towards the bartender, who just shook his head at the girl, but with a kind smile.

It didn't take long before both Tayuya and Anko were chatting and laughing with each other, both at ease with another and acting like old friends. It had been about two hours and both were feeling tipsy when a familiar voice caused both girls to shiver, but for different reasons.

"So this is where you went, drinking and laughing with a beautiful woman," said a playful voice but it held undertones of a sinister and crazed nature. Both ladies turned and saw a man with grey spiky wild hair, the tips colored a red reminiscent of dried blood, and yellow eyes that danced with mirth and a certain spark of insanity. "Oh Hebi-hime, you wound me!" he said dramatically placing the back of his hand to his head while the other flew to his chest over his heart, "here I am, ready to give you a life filled with passion and happiness but instead I find you at a bar with this beautiful stranger!"

Tayuya blinked before she glared at the man. She was not a fucking lesbian and was about to tell the bastard off when he said something she never expected to hear, "You wound me! How can I love you when there is now another player in this game of love!" he declared before kneeling in front of Tayuya and taking her hand, "Oh gorgeous woman! Would do me the honor of sharing me between you and my hime? I promise to never leave you wanting!" Tayuya was flabbergasted and was unsure what to do. "Besides, I've always wanted to have a threesome, or a foursome, whichever comes first," he said with a cheeky grin.

…

"YOU PERVERTED LITTLE ASSHOLE!" Tayuya shouted before kicking the blonde in the head, causing said smiling skulll to fly off and hit the wall across the room. Everybody stared in shock at the decapitated body and Anko was shaking.

Suddenly confettin burst from the 'corpse' with a loud pop while a tiny mariachi band appeared on the head and started playing, with fireworks and a discoball in the background.

When it ended the 'corpse' went poof with a simple note in its place. On it were tow simple words or a single command if you prefer.

Turn around.

Tayuya slowly turned and…

"KA-BOOM!"

"KYAAAAA!"

Tayuya screamed as Naruto popped out from behind the bar with a shit eating grin on his face, which scared the hell out of Tayuya. Anko and Naruto exploded into laughter at the girl's reaction while the other patrons just sighed in exasperation. When you live in Konoha, shit like this happens a lot and people learned to just roll with it. Less headaches that way.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" Tayuya angrily yelled at the cackling Naruto.

Controlling himself, the demon just smiled at her and said, "Life's no fun without a good scare," he chuckled.

Anko chuckled as she wiped a tear from her eye before she grabbed the grey-headed boy by the shirt and dragged him over the bar to sit in her lap. Naruto didn't complain as Anko wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I was wondering when you'd come looking for me again," Anko purred into his ear. "I thought maybe you'd have forgotten me and if that had happened I'd have to castrate you,"

Naruto just laughed before grabbing two sake dishes. He handed one to Anko and wrapped his arm that held his drink, with the arm that held her drink. "Here's to good times," Naruto declared happily.

"To good times!" Anko agreed, and with that, both of them drank their beverages in perfect synchronization. Giving satisfied sighs, the two then threw their dishes away and proceeded to make out.

Tayuya's eyebrow twitcged while a blush started to form across her face. Seeing as how the two didn't seem likely to stop anytime soon Tayuya decided to stop them the only way she knew how.

SMASH!

Which means she broke a sake bottle over their heads.

"Itai! What the hell was that for?" demanded Anko angry at having been interrupted while Naruto had swirls in his eyes.

"And a very unhappy birthday to you as well," Naruto slurred in a broken british accent.

Tayuya just rolled her eyes at the two but a smirk came to her lips all the same. "Unless you plan on giving a free show to these people, you might want to find someplace else to fuck,"

"Jealous?" Anko asked with a cheeky grin.

Tayuya blushed at that and tried to splutter out a response. Once again Naruto and Anko laughed at her.

For hours, the trio talked and drank much of the day and part of the night away, all enjoying a good time. Sadly the time had come for them to part and as they all left there separate ways, Tayuya couldn't help the frown that marred her face.

'Sucks that they're probably gonna die, but no one goes aginst the pedophile's orders' she thought with an angry growl a hand came up and rubbed a spot on her neck. Unbeknownst to her, a black figure was following the cursing woman. Not a single feature could be seen of it until it entered a brief shaft of moonlight and even then the only thing illuminated was the strange X stitched into the shoulder of his grey coat.

A/N: And so it thickens! Well, sorry I haven't updated this in a while but life is life soo… BRING ME MORE FOOD! I REQUIRE THE SUSTENANCE THAT ONLY CAN BE PROVIDED THROUGH REVIEWS! REVIEW OR I SHALL DEVOR MY HANDS AND NEVER TYPE AGAIN!

DO IT! DO IT NOOOUUUGGGHH!

…

Ja ne!