A/N: Another slightly shorter chapter, but I promise to make it up with the next one! Oh, and it seems I set off a lot of curious minds with the mysterious locked box of Katie's... I found that pretty funny as I never meant for it to be. There are items in there that are important to her, but nothing plot-changing, I promise. And we'll get to see the contents soon enough, once they stop being so distracted by everything else...
Katie welcomed the warmth of the apartment as they walked back in a few minutes later. Murphy kept his hand on her the small of her back and led her to the hallway. Letting go, he smiled at her. "I'm gonna take a shower quick. We can talk after that."
Nodding, she watched him disappear through his door and she shivered again. She had to get into some dryer clothes. Going into her room, she shut the door quickly behind her.
She had just pulled her shirt on and buttoned her jeans where there was a knock on her door. Sighing, she grinned. "Come in." The door opened behind her as she toweled off her hair and she was surprised to see Connor watching her carefully. He stood just inside the door, shirt in hand but not on yet. Her eyes wandered to his shoulder which was covered by a large, misshapen bruise. She ignored it, knowing he wouldn't appreciate attention on it at the moment.
She shook her head. "Connor, stop flirting with me."
He narrowed his eyes at her in confusion. "What?"
"Your shirt." She laughed as she saw him make the connection. He grinned at her and pulled his shirt on. Katie would never admit it, but she enjoyed the sight in a purely platonic way. He stepped inside the door then and shut it.
"Murph's in the shower."
"I know. He told me already."
"So, are ye gonna tell me how things are?"
She raised an eyebrow at him. "I figured he already did."
"Nope. He barely said a word. Seemed ta be in a thinkin' mode."
"Things are going to be okay."
"But not yet." He kept his eyes on hers and she shrugged.
"We really haven't talked yet." Running a hand through her hair, she started working out the tangles. "Thanks for sending him out."
He just moved his eyes away, seeming slightly guilty. "I…he didn't know ye left."
Moving to him, she reached up and ran her hand over his spiky, wet hair. "You know you're worse than a meddling old lady, right?"
Keeping his mouth shut, he just gave her a small smile.
"I appreciate it, Connor. Really." Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him on the cheek. With another grin, she walked out of her bedroom.
Da was in the kitchen as she walked out there. His back was to her and he was standing in front of the stove, stirring something. Katie grinned and stepped closer.
"What are you doing, Da?"
"Makin' lunch." He kept his back to her but he turned his head when she laughed. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing." She sat down at the table so that he could see her from where he stood. He glanced over.
"Ever thin' okay?"
"Yes, Da. Everything's fine." She sighed, realizing that she would have to continue answering that question for a little while yet. They were both silent and Katie stared off at the far wall, lost in thought. Both Murphy and Connor came out a few minutes later and they all sat down to quietly eat lunch.
Katie noticed that despite the silence, there was plenty going on as they ate. Murphy kept watching her, Connor kept his eye on Murphy and she found herself watching Da. It seemed that Da was the only one truly distracted by the chili he had made. As he moved to take his bowl to the sink, Katie watched him wince. His back was still bothering him, no matter how much he tried to hide it. Sighing, she made a mental note to convince him to see a doctor.
A few minutes later, Connor got to his feet and rinsed out his bowl in the sink. Grabbing his coat off the back of Katie's chair, he exchanged a nod with Da. "We're gonna take Smecker's car back ta him."
"What else are ye doin'?" Murphy frowned up at him. Connor smiled slightly.
"Da needs ta talk to Smecker about what happened in detail. And I have a few other things ta do."
Katie pointed her spoon at him. "Go see Sara."
"That at the top o' me list." He sighed but smiled again. "Think she'll see me?"
"Of course she will."
"Good." Nodding, he moved to the door. She glanced at him again.
"But Conn, if you have any problems with her, call me. I'll beat her up for you." She grinned at him and felt better to see him smile fully. His mood had seemed to go steadily down all morning.
Both Da and Connor nodded at Murphy and walked out the door, shutting it behind them. They were both silent for a moment before Katie finally glanced at Murphy and laughed softly.
"Gee, think there was a plan there?"
"A plan?" Murphy took another bite of his chili.
"Yeah, to leave us alone to talk."
"Aye, that was definitely planned." He finally raised his eyes to her and just looked at her for a moment. "But let's clean up first."
Nodding, Katie grabbed her bowl and busied herself with filling the sink with soapy water. She felt herself getting nervous, despite the fact that Murphy was simply standing beside her drying each dish that she washed. As she finished, she pulled the plug and watched the water swirl down. Only when it stopped and she didn't have anything else to distract her did she raise her eyes to Murphy. She waited.
Sara's eyes were on the computer when she felt someone watching her. Figuring it was her assistant, Mags, needing yet another answer, she didn't look up. "Yes?"
"Hey." His voice was quiet and Sara felt her heart skip as she raised her eyes to meet his. He smiled slowly as he watched her, and she felt herself melt just a little bit. He could get out of anything with that smile.
A little surprised that her knees would actually support her, she stood up and walked to him. He managed to put his arms around her and shut the door to her office in two seemingly efficient moves. He held her tightly for a moment before turning so that her back was against the door.
She stared up into his face, her heart racing as he raised his hand to cup her cheek and leaned down to kiss her. As their lips met, she knew she had never feel this way when anyone else kissed her. Her breath caught in her chest and she pulled her lips away from his, burying her face against the damp felt of his pea coat.
Connor was a one of a kind; that she already knew. But even the magic she felt in that one kiss didn't guarantee her that he would make her happy. Or that she could ever be enough for him. Would ever be enough to keep him from walking away. He's not Greg. He's Connor.
He seemed satisfied to just hold her as the thoughts raced through her head. And she realized that that was something else in him she liked. His patience. His willingness to wait for her. But would she end up testing that, too?
"So how did things go?" She finally forced herself to ask, pulling them out of the moment and back into reality. He stepped back from her and she immediately missed the warmth. Walking to sit behind her desk again, she covered her emotions.
He sighed and rubbed his left hand over the back of his head. "Well, that's something I need ta talk to ye about."
Sara raised her eyes to his. She felt the intensity of his gaze and was a little glad to have the desk as a buffer between then. Right now, she needed to step back from him to gain some ground. Otherwise, she might not be able to stay in control of this situation. Nodding slowly, she motioned for him to sit down.
"What happened?"
He remained standing, leaning slightly against the large bookcase next to her desk. His eyes wandered the room and she watched as he glanced behind him toward the door. A bad feeling came over her as he finally looked back at her.
"Connor, what happened?"
"I didn't tell ye everything over the phone. They came after us. Fuckin' ran us off the road."
She pressed her hands flat against her desk and stared up at him. "Is everyone okay?"
He nodded quickly. "Yeah, we're all fine. A bit roughed up, but alive."
"You're hurt?" She was out of her seat before she could stop herself. He covered her hands where she had put them on his chest.
"Just sore. Dislocated me shoulder is all."
"Which one?" She pulled at his coat gently, and he slipped it off.
"Right one. That's where the car landed."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Where it landed? You fucking rolled the car, didn't you?" Her hands were steady as she pulled up the sleeve on his t-shirt, but she still winced as she looked at it.
"Hey, I didn't roll anything. The car fuckin' rolled on its own." He grinned as she made a face at him.
"Funny, Connor. Real freaking comedian here." She gently kissed the center of the bruise. "I'm just glad that you're okay."
He ran his hand down her hair and kissed the top of her hair. "Christ, ye made this easy on me."
"What?" She laughed softly, crinkling her forehead.
"Ye're just dealin' with this a hell of a lot better than Katie did."
"What happened, Connor?" Her words came out as a sigh and she leaned back against her desk. He pressed his lips together and rolled his eyes.
"Well, she came ta meet us at the airport this mornin'."
"Yeah, I knew she was going to."
"Well, Murph's a bit rougher lookin' than I am. And she had no warnin'." He sighed.
"Is your brother okay?"
"Aye, he's fine. He just cut up the side of his face and that's the first thing she saw of him."
"Poor Murph." Sara shook her head and Connor tilted his head at her.
"Don't ye mean poor Katie?"
"No, I mean poor Murph. I know how Katie can get when she's upset."
"Well, he'd not happy with her, either." Connor said and shook his head when Sara frowned at him. "Too much fuckin' drama today. He was rightly pissed when he found out what she did last night."
"Last night? What did she do?"
Connor stared at her for a moment before raising both of his eyebrows. "She didn't tell you?"
"No, I fell asleep before she got home. And she was already in bed when I woke up. She wasn't at the bar?"
"She dressed as a prostitute to get into one of Yakavetta's places to get fuckin' information."
"She did what?" Sara's jaw dropped and she brought a hand to her mouth. Something twisted in her gut as she thought about it. Katie went back in. She could've been killed. She didn't tell me. As she raised her eyes back to Connor, he nodded slowly.
"And she found Peter."
"Here, in Boston? Why the fuck was Peter in with the mafia?"
"He's undercover. She didn't tell you anything?"
Sara shook her head and realized that it hurt. Katie hadn't trusted her with this. She understood why she kept it from the McManuses to a certain degree. But why from her?
"Katie and I are gonna have a little talk." She spit out and crossed her arms over her chest. Connor laughed softly.
"Well, I have a feelin' that Murph's already beat ye to it."
"Yeah, well, then she'll get two lectures."
"Maybe three." He grinned as she raised an eyebrow at him. "What? I don't get my turn?"
"If there's anything left of her, you can have a turn."
Murphy could see the nerves in her movements as she turned to finally look up at him. He took a deep breath and forced himself not to chew on the edge of his thumb. Nodding toward the table, he sighed. "Go sit down."
Grabbing two beers, he pulled a chair to sit facing her and handed her one of the beers. She took it and raised an eyebrow at him. "Are we gonna need these, Murph?"
Smiling slightly, he shrugged. "Don't know."
They were both silent until she opened hers and took a drink. He stood watching her, fighting the sudden need to just let the issue go. They had to discuss it. There was no other way.
Sitting finally, he leaned forward and put his hands on her knees. "Tell me what happened."
She raised her eyes from her beer bottle after a moment. "Smecker lost his informant. So I thought maybe I could get some information. I mean, I had something going before I meet Janie. I wasn't bad at it."
Taking a drink, she set her bottle on the table and intertwined her fingers. Murphy leaned back slightly, moving his hands to cross over his chest but remained silent. Keep goin', Katie. Help me fuckin' understand here. After they were both silent for a moment, she sighed lightly.
"I got the idea that they wouldn't suspect a prostitute. And that would be the quickest way in. Everything else I'd ever tried had taken weeks. And frankly, we don't have fucking weeks." She leaned her elbows on the arms of the chair, crossing them in front of her.
Murphy sighed and brought his thumb to his mouth to chew on. He was beginning to see what lead her there, but he knew there had to be more to it than just getting information.
"I didn't think things through. I was upset and distracted. And it wasn't until I was already in that situation that I realized what I'd gotten myself into." Her voice began to shake but he couldn't make himself reach out to her.
On some level, he still felt betrayed. That was the raw feeling in his gut. They had worked so hard to keep her safe and what had she done as soon as they were gone? She walked right into their hands. It was a fucking miracle they didn't know she was there.
She had done it for them to get information for them though. All because he had kept her waiting too long. If he had just called her that morning after the crash, she may never have felt the need to do this.
Sighing, Murphy rubbed a hand over his face. He was partly to blame for this, if he followed that line of thinking. He had been sick about making her wait when he thought she would be waiting by the phone. He never thought she would risk her life while they were gone just to possibly try to keep theirs safe.
"Murph, please say something."
He raised his eyes again and saw that she was watching him. Pressing his lips together, he leaned forward and put his hands on her knees again. He saw the worry in her eyes and wished he could just make it all go away. It wasn't that simple.
"Katie, they've been followin' ye for weeks. What made ye think ye'd do us any good goin' in?"
"I didn't go in as myself. I went in undercover. No one suspects a hooker."
"Aye, maybe." He nodded slowly and felt his stomach twist slightly. His voice grew quieter as he spoke. "But think about what would've happened if he'd raped ye, Katie. Maybe even killed ye. Think about that would have done ta ye. Or ta me." They were both silent for a moment and she reached out, taking his hands in her own. "No information is worth your life."
The thought of it was enough to make his close his eyes against the flood of emotions. They might never have found out what happened to her. She would simply have vanished from his life. Murphy swallowed hard against the lump that had started forming in his throat.
Her hands touched his shoulders and he opened his eyes to see her standing in front of him. She leaned forward to kiss him, her hair falling on the sides of their faces like a dark curtain. "I'm okay, Murphy."
He put his hands on her waist. "Yeah, but how long are ye goin' ta be okay if ye keep doin' this kind of stuff? I can't do this, Katie."
She stood up again, her hands leaving his shoulders. He looked up at her, watching her frown at him. "What the fuck do you think I've had to do, Murphy? I was going crazy with worry. With fear. How is that any different?"
"I only do what I have ta do. And Connor and Da are with me the whole time. Ye fuckin' went in alone, Katie. Alone. Ye're never supposed ta be alone." He had gotten louder somehow. Despite the fact that the anger was back, the sick feeling in his stomach was still there.
She stepped away from him, keeping her eyes on the floor. "I was alone when you left."
And there it is. He stared at her, realizing that was the hidden piece. "Ye didn't have ta be. Ye had Sara, Smecker and Doc."
Keeping quiet, she moved to the fridge and pulled out a Pepsi. He watched her for a moment.
"Ye once mentioned the family we've got here. How ye didn't feel a part of it. But ye could be, Katie. They're all waitin' for ye ta let them in. Ye've got ta trust somebody here." Standing up, he stepped toward her and saw her pause in her movements.
"I do trust somebody. I trust you. And Connor." Her hands were working at the tab on the top of the can, bending it back and forth.
"What about Sara?"
She gave a hard laugh. "Sara looks at me like I've got three fucking heads every time I mention the fucking Mafia. She would have never agreed to let me do that."
"Fuck, and I would've?"
"Well, no, but…" She trailed off and Murphy stepped closer. He watched her carefully, looking for some clue, some sign to help him figure out what was really going on. To figure out what was really bothering her so much that she felt she had to do this. He hadn't realized that she felt that isolated. But he had understood the feeling; both he and Connor had experienced it themselves.
"But what?"
"You wouldn't have let me go, but you would have understood why I wanted to. Christ, Murph. I'm tired of just sitting here and doing nothing. You've got me wrapped in fucking bubble wrap here. Waiting and waiting. While you and Conn and Da are out there risking your asses, I'm sitting here fucking useless." She slammed the can down on the counter.
"Katie, yer not fuckin' useless. But this fuckin' situation doesn't exactly have a jobs listing. Fuck, we're tryin' ta get ourselves out of this. And you runnin' off as a fuckin' prostitute isn't helpin' any." He faced her but didn't reach out to touch her. She had to understand. He had to make her understand.
"I know."
"Jesus, Katie." He sighed and she finally looked up at him. "Maybe that's somethin' we both need ta work on. Realizin' we've got others who depend on us and who we can depend on. Ye should have talked ta someone. Instead of just fuckin' goin' off and doin' yer own thing."
Moving her eyes to stare over his left shoulder, she sighed.
"Yer a girl, Katie. Ye're supposed ta be good at this whole feelings thing."
She smiled slightly and he felt the pressure in his chest lighten. "Fuck off, Murphy."
He stepped forward and put his arms around her. She stood stiff for a moment, but he still waited, knowing she would give in. Her arms encircled his waist loosely and she leaned her head against his chest. Moving them slightly back and forth, he realized that just holding her helped more than anything. Just knowing that as long as he kept his arms around her, she would be safe.
"I half expected you and Sara ta have formed a fuckin' support group by now. A place ta talk about the grief we've been given ye." He whispered to her finally and felt her laugh.
"I'm not much of the support group type, Murphy." She shifted slightly, turning her head to look up at him. "Besides, Sara's been a bit off this whole time."
"Because of Connor?"
"Gee, how'd you guess?" He could tell she was smiling without looking at her.
"He mentioned somethin' about it."
"She's gonna kill me for telling him. Fuck and we've fought once already."
"Ye fought with her?" He glanced down at her and relaxed again when he saw she was still smiling.
"Yeah." She laughed. "A typical Sara and me fight. I pissed her off; she snapped back and left me behind. It was almost like being back in college."
"I'm confused. Ye enjoyed this?"
"Enjoyed, no. But with Sara it's not such a bad thing. If she's willing to show you her anger, she still likes you. It's when she shows no emotion around you that you know you're screwed."
"Good ta know. I'll pass that on ta me brother." He grinned down at her as she pulled away. She smiled back but stared up at him.
"How does your face feel?"
He felt her finger brush softly against the right side of his face. She pursed her lips as she followed it back down past his cheek bone. Reaching up, he covered her hand with his. "It's fine. I barely notice it's there."
"You should be on this end of it."
"That bad, huh?"
She shrugged. "Does it count that I can't take my eyes off of it?" He heard the teasing tone to her voice and just smiled. She met his gaze briefly before looking back at the bruise. "No, really. I think I've already developed a hate-hate relationship with it."
"But it is part o' me. Can ye really hate a part o' me?" He grinned as she rolled her eyes.
"Murphy," She sighed. "It's simply residing on you right now. It is not part of you."
"Ye do realize ye've just humanized a fuckin' bruise, right?"
Laughing, she finally looked him in the eye again. "And your point is?"
"Ye need a distraction.
"And where am I going to find that?"
He pressed his lips to hers and felt her smile against him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned back. "Humm…that might just work."
She kissed him deeply and he found that he was losing himself in her again. It was so easy to do. He could never have too much of Katie. Slipping his hand underneath her shirt, he brushed his fingertips across her abdomen to reach her sides. She pressed herself closer to him with a sigh. With a smile, he kissed her softly and led her back to her bedroom.
Connor leaned against the bridge railing, staring off into the city. The afternoon had gotten warmer and he found that he wasn't quite ready to go back to the apartment yet. Here, on the bridge, he could be alone. He hadn't been alone for a while.
His thoughts were on Sara and the mixed response he had gotten in her office. Her vulnerable side had shown first. He hadn't missed that she put distance between them after they had kissed.
Knowing about Greg helped him quite a bit. He had bet anything that she would pulled away then because she felt something. Christ, he certainly had. One kiss from her had done more for him than sex with other woman had. And in that department, he knew they were compatible. He knew they were meant to be together.
But it was outside that he had his uncertainties. She kept her distance from him until she had acted without thinking. After that, as they had talked about normal everyday subjects, she had been the normal Sara. The Sara he had tripped on his heart over that first night.
God, he loved that she had a sense of humor about things. And that she was reasonable. As much as he loved Katie, he knew her type would drive him nuts. But Sara seemed much more down-to-earth, which is why he knew this emotional barrier thing had to be exhausting for her.
They would be fine once they got past it. That he was sure of, if they could get past it.
She had smiled at him as he left her office finally, shooing him out so that she could actually get some work done. He had been away from her for nearly a half hour now and he missed her already. How the hell had he made it in New York without her?
Christ, I'm becomin' a fuckin' sap. Murph would love ta tease me about this. He couldn't help but grin at that. Especially when he knew that Murphy had no room to talk. They had never shared that experience at the same time before. Not since they had started dating. Connor's heart lifted as he thought about that.
And tonight, they would all be together again at McGinty's. He and Da decided that on the way to the precinct. No matter what type of planning or discussing they had to do, it would wait until tomorrow. Tonight was their time to relax.
Connor glanced at his watch as he pushed off the bridge. Tonight he would have Sara around, again. And this time, he would get to keep her for longer than her fucking lunch break.