A/N: Here's the next chapter! I'll try to make them longer this time. I hope you'll enjoy it. I'll try having my fics BETA'd next time :)

Chapter III

How to Properly Greet the Boss

"Oh my~!" Lussuria gasped. "You're up early!"

"Shishishi~ Felt like it."

"Well, you're the first one up, so have a seat!" the Varia's 'mama' beamed. "I made some pancakes~!"

Bel lazily walked to his seat as Lussuria handed him some pancakes. The prince stared at his plate in discontent and reached over to steal some pancakes from Fran's plate. But before he could even stab a fork on the frog's pancakes, Lussuria smacked the prince's hand away.

"Don't even think about it, Bel-chan." he scolded.

"Che. The frog wouldn't notice anyways..." he mumbled. Lussuria ignored Bel and went back to cooking breakfast, after moving Fran's plate farther from the prince's reach.

Squalo, Levi and Mammon came down soon after. Squalo hastily finished his pancakes and ran out the door, saying he had a ton of work to do. Levi followed soon after.

As Lussuria placed the eighth plate of steak on the table, he sat down on his own seat and started eating his breakfast.

"Wait, where's Fran-chan?"

"Probably still asleep." Mammon answered, swallowing his last bit of pancake, and floating out the door, leaving only the prince and the gaylord alone.

"How unusual. He was up early yesterday and the day before that. This won't do~" Lussuria complained. "Bel-chan, be a dear and go wake up Fran-chan, please?"

"Don't want to." the senpai rudely replied. "It's not my job to babysit the frog."

It had been three days since Fran had started living in the Varia headquarters. Since he hadn't mastered controlling his illusions yet, he just stays in the mansion, playing or walking around while the rest of the Varia went on missions. The kouhai still got lost around the HQ often, and he would keep following Bel around when the prince wasn't busy.

"It's kind of cute, the way he always clings to you." Lussuria complimented. "The poor child gets lost all the time."

"It's not like the prince wants him to." Bel retorted. "It's none of your business, gaylord."

Lussuria was about to complain when they hear a monotone voice interrupt their conversation.

"Mnn, I smell something nice."

Everyone turned to see the owner of the voice. Lussuria smiled and greeted the boy.

"Good morning, Fran-chan! Come sit down, we're having pancakes!"

"Good morning..." Fran greeted back as he cutely rubbed his eyes and sleepily walked over to his chair. He took a sip of his orange juice and then started on his pancakes.

"Shishishi~" the senpai chuckled, resting his chin on his palm." It's amazing that you never get lost when you want to go to the dining room, but you always have trouble finding the bathroom."

Fran looked up and glared at his senpai. "Shut up, fake prince."

Stab.

"Ow." the kouhai emotionlessly whined as he pulled out the knife and threw it back at the prince. Bel caught it between his middle and index finger and made a tiny 'che'.

"Nice catch."

"Not in front of the dining table, you two." Lussuria scolded. He then turned to Fran.

"Fran-chan, your Varia uniform will probably be delivered this afternoon, can you-"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a wine glass flew into the room and crashed at the wall near where the gaylord was standing. Lussuria tilted his head at the right angle and avoided the wine glass perfectly, as if he knew all along.

"My, my. He seems to be awake now." the peacock-homo mused, placing a hand on his cheek,

"Who is?" Fran asked.

"Why, our boss, Fran-chan~!"

Fran's eyes sparkled with interest. He had heard all sorts of things about the man. How he had anger issues, how he didn't consume anything but wine and steak, how he always abused Squalo, how he fought during the Ring battles... those things. For the past two days, Fran hadn't actually seen the man, but he could hear the crashes from upstairs.

Xanxus stepped into the room, a murderous and treacherous aura emanating from him.

"Where's my breakfast, trash." he asked. But it didn't even sound like a question. It sounded more like a "do-it-or-die" statement.

"Right here, boss~" Lussuria answered, pointing to the eight plates of steak.

Xanxus sat down and grabbed a fork. Before he could start, he looked up and saw Fran, This was his first time seeing the illusionist. He scanned the little boy and noticed that the boy has been staring at him for a while now. "What are you staring at me for, trash." he scoffed. "You want your face blown off?"

Fran, as if by reflex, answered. "Are you stupid? Why would I want that?"

…

OH. MY. GOD.

Bel and Lussuria's faces paled as Xanxus almost dropped his fork after his mind absorbed what he just heard. Fran, a few seconds later, realized what he just said and placed a hand over his mouth, cursing at himself in his mind.

WOOSH. SMASH. BANG. CRASH.

It didn't take long for the boss to react.

Different objects were thrown around the room, with Lussuria trying desperately to avoid the incoming projectiles. The prince moved swiftly, avoiding each object perfectly with a huge cheshire-cat grin on his face.

Fran just crawled under a table and managed to avoid being hit by flying objects. He reached for a piece of tissue paper and tried to write down his will.

I want all my stuff to be buried underground for underground elves to use. Oh, and I want grandma to know that her lunches suck and to please name a town after me.

At the corner of his eye, Xanxus saw the table move a bit, and walked over to teach the boy a lesson. A painful lesson.

That's when Squalo bursted in through the door.

As soon as he stepped in, the room fell silent. Xanxus stopped in his tracks and everyone in the room looked toward the direction of the long-haired captain.

"VOOOOIIII! I forgot to tell you tha-" Squalo stopped in the middle of his sentence as he scanned the room. Chairs flipped over, wine glasses destroyed, plates shattered, Bel and Lussuria in their 'defense mode'...

...this can only mean one thing. The bo-

"OW OW OW OW!" the Varia's shark yelled as the boss yanked on his hair. "What do you want now?"

"Where have you been, trash?" Xanxus inquired, his eyes narrowing as Squalo turned to answer back.

"Where do you think, you stupid boss? I was going to go on a mission, but I forgot to tell Lussuria something."

Xanxus nodded and said nothing. Just Squalo being here seemed to calm him down. He slowly let go of Squalo's hair, while the long-haired captain tried to comb it desperately with his fingers. The boss then took a plate of steak and went up to his room. Before he could walk out the door, he looked over his shoulder and ordered, "Bring a bottle of wine upstairs in 20 minutes, trash."

"Yes boss!" Lussuria replied, a hint of fear in his voice. Then the door slammed behind Xanxus as he went back to his room.

Lussuria sighed in relief as he walked over to the Varia's shark and discussed a few details about his mission.

Bel skipped over to the kitchen table and peeked under the tablecloth.

"Shi shi shi, you can come out now, froggy."

"Don't call me that, fake-prince senpai." Fran mumbled as he crawled out from under the table.

Stab.

"Ow."

Fran stared at themess the boss left behind. Fran's eyes twinkled as he continued to stare, not saying anything, but simply looking at his surroundings. The boss' actions intrigued Fran, from the way he acted to the way he spoke. Fran wondered what it would be like if someone really tried to piss him off. He wondered how a person like him gain so much power in his hands.

"He's so cool!"

the teal-haired boy thought out loud.

Next Chapter: How To Be Varia Quality

Sorry if this chapter was lame and a little short! Plot bunnies didn't come for dinner. I'll improve the next one, I promise!

Please R/R! I need criticism/comments.