So here it is Chapter 11, Fish's session with Marty. I hope I did it justice, it took a while because I really wanted to get it right, and I hope I did. It is longer than the other chapters. Please read and review. Enjoy.

Fish knocked on the door to Marty's office, and heard a soft "Come in."

"Marty, thank you for seeing me on such short notice." Said Fish walking in

"You said you really needed to talk," said Marty "of course."

"Last week I freaked out badly on a case." Said Fish

"How bad is badly?" asked Marty

"I ended up curled into a ball in John's office." Said Fish

"Okay." Said Marty "What case was it?"

"The mother who killed her baby." Said Fish

"Do you have any idea why you freaked out?" asked Marty

"My son." Said Fish

"You have a child?" asked Marty

"Had." Said Fish "Back when I was still in the closet, it was near the end of my time at the Police Academy, we had gotten pregnant, but Rikki went into labor 6 weeks early. Our son died within 5 hours."

"Did you ever talk to anyone after the event?" asked Marty

"Professionally, you're the first I've talked to." Said Fish "Rikki and I would talk in the first few months, we've remained friends, but we don't see each other that often. Only the one time a year we both go to his grave. I talked to her a little bit after I came out."

"Have you talked to Kyle about this?" asked Marty

"He's known for a couple of months. He's my partner, the man I love, he deserves to know. He's been hinting that I should talk to you since I told him." Said Fish "But I brushed it off, then I ended up curled up in a ball in John's office. Even after that I was still saying I was fine."

"What made you decide to come see me?" asked Marty "It couldn't have just been Kyle's subtle hints?"

"It wasn't." said Fish "Earlier today I told Brody, as my partner on the force he also had a right to know. He suggested I talk to you, but if not you I at least maybe to talk to Jessica. I ran into her at Rodi's today while I was getting lunch and talked to her. She told me I should talk to you. Why would I have brushed it off when Kyle told me to come talk to you?"

"Because he doesn't quite understand what you're going through, and you probably think he's going into Doctor mode when he suggests it." Said Marty

"A little bit." Said Fish "But, I, never mind."

"Everything is confidential." Said Marty

"Sometimes, I think it's my fault that Tyson died." Said Fish

"What do you mean?" asked Marty

"After college, especially while I was in the Academy," said Fish "I was trying to prove to the world, well myself more than the world I guess, that I was straight."

"And you're thinking that if you had come out before the academy, you and Rikki never would have dated." Said Marty

"Well yeah." Said Fish "I mean, I would have been with Kyle. If I hadn't been such a coward, I wouldn't have broken up with Kyle."

"But what if you and Rikki hadn't lost Tyson?" asked Marty

"I don't know." Said Fish "I mean, yeah I probably would have eventually come out."

"A lot of this seems to go back to when you were still in the closet, and your relationship with Kyle in college." Said Marty "If you don't mind me asking, do you want to talk a little bit about growing up?"

"Well you met my father." Said Fish "Growing up, his word was law, I was able to suppress who I really was in high school because no guy really caught my eye as far as love was concerned and it never bothered me, until I met Kyle."

"How did you and Kyle meet?" asked Marty

"It was freshman year of college." Said Fish "We were both rushing KAD. He was standing on the other side of the room, he kept looking at me I didn't think much of it, until I caught myself looking at him to. He was the first person I'd met that I felt I could be myself with. I had met the one."

"That's something pretty special." Said Marty

"Yeah, and he totally understood my wanting to keep everything secret." Said Fish "Everything was great all through college, until senior year."

"What happened senior year?" asked Marty

"My mother walked in on us." Said Fish "She and I never addressed what happened again until I came out to my parents."

"So you and your mother ignored what happened in college." Said Marty

"Yeah." Said Fish "And it broke my heart, but at the time I was less concerned about being happy and more concerned about my parents loving me. It took me years to realize that I made the wrong decision in college."

"And was that the decision to stay in the closet, verses staying with Kyle?" asked Marty

"Yeah." Said Fish

"But then this takes us back to the question of would you be saying that if Tyson had survived." Said Marty "In situations like these you have to think 'what-if?' Sometimes it's the only way to figure out how you're truly feeling about the situation and truly move on."

"I guess I don't know." Said Fish "I mean I'd eventually have come out, I think. But I'd definitely be a father right now if Tyson hadn't died, but you still never really know what would have happened."

"You're right." Said Marty "You never know, but these are things that do stay with you and will eventually start affecting your personal life and its sounding like that point has come."

"Sometimes I feel like no one will want to listen." Said Fish

"Oliver," said Marty "can I say something?"

"Of course." Said Fish

"I have seen you and Kyle ever since the two of you have gotten back together." Said Marty "You guys love each other. He will listen as long as you will talk. Even if he doesn't understand what you're going through, he will listen. He will."

"My heart knows that, but my heads not agreeing." Said Fish

"What happened the last time you listened to your head over your heart?" asked Marty

"I broke up with the man I love to please my parents, and it took me years to realize that I was an idiot for doing so." Said Fish

"I wouldn't put it quite that harshly but okay." Said Marty "So here's what I want you to work on. Talk to Kyle, tell him how you're feeling and I want the two of you to come in together next week."

"Okay," said Fish "Thanks Marty."

"Not a problem." Said Marty "And you can call me anytime, but I want you to go to Kyle before you go to me. That's your biggest problem Oliver, going to the people who love you the most in the world, you can't be scared to do so."

"All right." Said Fish giving Marty a nod and walking out of her office.