A/N: Again, thanks for all your reviews! Especially for the outraged ones I got over Chapter 38. One scene equaled 11semi-angry reviews. I felt very evil. It was great! I'll what I know about BDS II up on my profile, for those who are interested and don't already know. Oh, and there is a good chance I'll post another 'one scene chapter' later this week. It's not a habit I'll get into, but the scene after this chapter works best alone, I think. (Updated 9/5 at way too early in the morning, gotta love those 7-4ers. :) Thanks to Anasazi Darkmoon for betaing for me! Further proof that my spelling leads a lot to be desired:))

The room was sparsely lit when Murphy woke up for the second time. He realized by the light yellow tint of the walls that it was morning and that meant he could finally give up on trying to sleep. His bed had felt empty all night and even an extra blanket hadn't warmed him like Katie's body next to him had only the night before.

Slipping on his jeans, his eyes wandered over to Connor's bed, where both his twin and Sara still sleep peacefully. Even in sleep, Connor's arms were tight around her, his hands laced protectively across her abdomen.

Murphy felt the now familiar ache catch in his throat and he forced himself to leave the room. He would have her back soon and he would just have to be patient until he did.

Cigar smoke met him as he closed the door to their bedroom quietly and Murphy surprised himself by smiling. Da was up. He'd woken and thought he'd only want to be alone, but now that warm, content feeling spread through him as he realized for the first time in a long time, he had Da to himself.

"Mornin'." The husky low voice greeted him as he rounded the corner and Da gave him a warm smile before turning back to the morning paper in front of him.

"Mornin' Da."

They were both silent as he poured himself a mug of coffee. Da smiled his thanks as Murphy carried the pot over to refill his mug as well. Pulling the comics from the stack to the right of Da, Murphy spread them out in front of him, preparing to read.

But the colors simply blurred in front of him and the nervous pulling in his stomach was back. He knew Katie was okay. Smecker would have called if something had happened. But he still felt sick at the thought of not knowing.

His mind had barely begun to spin. Something could have happened. And there would be a time lapse in there before he was told. But would he already know? Would he feel it if something has happening? Was he feeling it now?

"How ye doin', Murph?" Da's voice jolted him away from the unformed thoughts tumbling through his mind and it took a moment for the question to make sense. Murphy raised his eyes to look at his Da.

"I…fine."

"She's fine, m'boy. I talked ta Smecker less than an hour ago."

"What for? What's goin' on?" Murphy raised his thumb to his mouth and stared at Da.

"Nothing. I would've woken ye up if there were any news."

"Than what did he call for?"

"I called him."

Sighing, Murphy motioned with his hand for Da to go on. "Okay, why?"

"Ta tell him that the Saints are done. He's gonna take care o' it fer us."

"How?"

"Don't really know, I guess. He said he had an idea and that he'd get back ta us later 'bout it."

"Oh." Taking a long drink of his coffee, Murphy focused his eyes on the comics in front of him again. He got through an entire strip before he realized he wasn't paying attention. Sighing, he folded up the paper and tossed back in front of Da. Leaning back in his chair, he looked at him again. "So, what do we do now?"

Da's eyes paused in their steady skimming across the front page and he glanced up for a moment. They were both silent and his eyes returned to reading. "I suppose we've got ta decide that."

Nodding, Murphy took another drink of his coffee without responding. Da's eyes found his again.

"I talked ta yer Ma this mornin'. She wants us ta come home."

"Fuck, Ma. Ye didn't tell 'er, did ye?" The legs of Murphy's chairs snapped against the tile as he sat up straight.

"Of course I told her."

"Aw, man. She cried, didn't she?"

"Aye, twice in fact." Da pressed his lips together, gazing off at the far side of the kitchen.

"Twice? Why?"

"First when I told 'er about the warehouse. Then again when I told 'er about Katie."

Murphy forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat with a sip of coffee. His Ma cried over Katie. His Ma, who'd he'd seen cry only a handful of times in his lifetime. Christ, how he loved that woman. And how he missed her. "We can't just go home, Da."

"That's what she said, as well. We're ta get things settled with both o' yer lasses and than be on the next plane out."

"Those the official orders from Ma?" He smirked at Da who nodded seriously.

"Aye, and we'll follow 'em. The bloody woman scares me."

Smiling, Murphy set his mug down and leaned back in his chair again. He could take Katie home now. It was a possibility that he'd never been able to consider. She could meet Ma and Uncle Sibeal. She could see his school and he and Connor's secret fort in the woods.

And maybe, she could find her peace there. The same peace that Ireland had always held for Murphy himself. The same peace he'd been without since leaving home until the night they'd found Katie.

"How is the Anvil lookin' these days, Murphy?" Da's voice brought him away from his daydreaming. Murphy grinned back at him.

"Fuck, Da. It's been a good ten years since I've even fuckin' seen the place meself."

"A bit less than my twenty-five years, m'boy. What do ye remember o' it?"

Running his forefinger over the rim of his mug, Murphy tilted his head to the side. Fuck if the memories of the Anvil weren't still completely clear in his mind. It was where he and Connor spent more than a few of their nights with Uncle Sibeal as their baby-sitter, playing cards with the men and serving drinks when needed. And it was where they'd first gotten drunk, stealing a nearly full bottle of Hennessy from under the bar and hiding in the backroom with it.

Smiling widely, he glanced at Da. "It was lookin' fine, that last time I saw it. A bit worn, broken-in, like any good pub should be."

"That's how we'd pictured it'd be." Da lit another cigar and leaned back with a wide smile. Murphy raised an eyebrow at him.

"How ye'd pictured it be?"

"Aye, the pub is half mine. Yer Uncle Sibeal never tell ye that?" Da breathed out the smoke slowly, shrugging. "Though, I'm sure I've basically fuckin' forfeited me right ta it."

"Were the two o' ye close? We always heard about 'those other two McManus brothers.' But Uncle Sibeal wouldn't give us many details."

"We were nothin' compared to the two o' ye. You and Conn are close. Ye compliment each other. Sibeal and I did nothin' but collide for the most part."

"Is that why ye left?" Murphy kept his question quiet, casual, despite the fact that it was something he'd wanted to ask his whole life. It was the one question that he and Connor had never been able to guess the answer to, no matter how hard they tried.

And when Da's eyes rose to meet his, he knew it was the right time to finally ask it. But they were both silent for a moment.

"I never planned on leavin' at all." Da stared off across the room again, his hands lacing together and rising under his chin as he seemed to try to find his words. "Fionn Roarke was a good friend o' yer uncle and me. He came ta the states ta make some money. Ta find adventure. But Sibeal had yer Aunt Lucy and I had yer Ma, so we stayed behind in Ireland. He got involved in some bad shite here, but we didn't know it until it was too late. The two o' ye were barely in diapers when he was murdered."

Da's voice had lowered to a harsh whisper, his eyes never moving from the wall. "Sibeal and I flew ta Boston and we took care o' the men behind it. We were good at it, too. When the first offer came ta kill a few more o' the bad men involved, Sibeal turned it down. But yer Ma and I needed the money. So I went and did it, promisin' yer Ma that it would be a one-time deal." He rolled the cigar between his thumb and forefinger, becoming quiet.

After a few moment, Murphy waved his hand in the air. "So what the fuck happened, then?"

"Fionn's family was killed back in Ireland." Pausing, Da took a long drink of his coffee, his eyes still fixed on the wall. "The mafia family involved had made a connection between him and his family. I made yer Ma move the two o' ye and herself in ta live with Sibeal and yer Aunt Lucy. And I stayed in the states."

His eyes quickly moved from the wall to stare at Murphy. "If I'd ever come home again, they would've fuckin' followed me. And I would've lost the lost all o' ye." He dropped his stare and his fingers fumbled in folding the paper in front of him. "So ye see, Murphy, I made one choice, took one wrong job and it changed the path o' me entire life. I can't let the two o' ye do the same."

Murphy was silent, watching Da carefully. He was shocked to find that it still hurt. He realized now that Uncle Sibeal had been a bad stand-in for Da, as the two of them were completed different. Both he and Connor had lost nearly twenty-five years with Da. And they'd spent most of those years thinking their father had chosen to leave. Had chosen life in the States over them.

Breathing out a sigh, Murphy patted his hand against Da's forearm. "Ye made the right choice, Da."

"Which one? The one that made ye grow-up without a Da or the one that separated the two o' ye from yer callin'?"

"Both really. Ye did what ye had ta do. Ta take care o' us." Murphy squeezed his hand over Da's arm before standing up. "And just so ye know, Uncle Sibeal never took yer spot."

Da's eyes met his in a grateful glance and Murphy felt the warmth spread inside. There'd been a small hole in his heart for most of his life. A hole he never even mentioned to Connor. A tiny hole caused by that glimmer of doubt about why Da really had left. And despite the grief he still felt about lost years, Murphy knew the hole had been filled.

Picking up his and Da's mugs from the table, he quickly refilled them with coffee and brought one back to Da. Opening the fridge, he skimmed the contents inside with a grin. "I'm makin' breakfast."

"Christ. Isn't it enough that we nearly got fuckin' killed last night?" Connor's rough morning voice floated into the kitchen as he collapsed into a chair next to Da. "Do we really have ta play fuckin' Murphy roulette this mornin'?"

"Shut it, Conn." He smiled without meaning to and Connor met his gaze. After a long moment, Murphy nodded. Aye, he was fine. Grabbing his mug, Murphy shut the fridge and sat back down at the table, setting the mug in front of him. "So what do ye suggest instead?"

Connor grabbed Murphy's coffee and took a long drink of it, setting it in front of himself instead. "Thanks. And I don't fuckin' know."

"That was my coffee, ye fucker." But as Murphy reached over, Connor simply pressed his hand over the top of the mug, studying the paper in front of him.

"Thanks for the donation."

Sighing, Murphy just leaned back in his chair again. It wasn't worth fighting and he really didn't mind that he'd lost his coffee. "So, Sara still sleepin'?"

"Aye. Don't think she slept too well at first." Connor glanced up at both Murphy and Da. "Any news?"

"I talked ta Smecker a while ago. He said she was the same. But the doctor's thought she might be wakin' up soon."

Murphy frowned and stared at Da. "That's a bit o' new fuckin' information. Why didn't ye tell me before?"

"Because ye would've been at the hospital by now. Da knew it might take the o' us ta convince ye ta stay." Connor's words were answered with a short nod from Da. Murphy stood up.

"Well, then ye're fuckin' right. I'm goin'."

"Sit down, Murph." Connor sighed, but Murphy ignored him. As he moved past his brother, Connor shot up and wrapped his arm around Murphy, preventing him from moving further. "It's not safe fer ye ta go yet."

"And when is it goin' ta be fuckin' safe?" Murphy pushed Connor's arm away from him.

"Soon enough, m'boy. But ye've got ta give Smecker time." Da's voice came from behind them. But Murphy couldn't force himself to turn. Instead, he fought against the feeling of suffocation inside, knowing that something else blocked him from getting to Katie. Da cleared his throat, his words echoing through the kitchen. "Ye can do this two ways, Murph. Ye can haul yer ass in there and get yerself caught. Or ye can wait a little while for Smecker to get ye in. Just make sure that ye make the right choice, son. Because with one o' those, there is no turnin' back from."

The blood pumping through Murphy slowly cooled and he could feel Connor relax beside him. Da was right. Waiting was really the only option. But he'd never been good at waiting.

A hand squeezed his shoulder and Connor's voice was near his ear. "Ye not fuckin' alone with this, Murph. We'll be waitin' with ye."

He forced a breath through the tightness in his chest, and nodded slowly. Clapping a hand against Connor's back, he let his brother know his thanks though the contact between them before stepping away. Murphy was quiet again as he took his seat again on the other side of the table. His eyes were focused on the table and the coffee mug came into view as it was set in front of him again.

He gave a half laugh. "I guess that's one way ta get me fuckin' coffee back."

"It's gettin' cold. I wanted fresh anyway." Connor's smile came through his voice as his back was to the both of them. Da cleared his throat again.

"Now that the two o' ye are up…"

"Christ, what now?" Murphy took a long drink of his coffee, finding that his brother was right. The coffee was only lukewarm. A second mug was placed in front of him as Connor sat down. He barely got a chance to smile his thanks before Da continued.

"We need to figure out how ta find Doc. And Tommy."

Connor frowned, glancing again at Murphy. "I thought we were done. No Tommy after last night."

"Aye, the Saints are done. But Agent Smecker is also interested in the lad. Ask if we could find him for him."

"I think we need ta find Doc first. Make sure he's alright." Murphy pressed his lips together and Da nodded in agreement.

"He's the first on our list. And unfortunately, that might fuckin' lead us ta Tommy."

Connor scuffed at that. "Ye don't think he was involved, do ye?"

"There's no way. Doc's too fuckin' innocent ta get involved with this."

Da nodded at Murphy's words but simply shrugged. "I don't know, m'boys. But Doc has known Tommy for a long fuckin' time. Ye've both said that they've been close."

"Which makes it all the more disgustin' that the asshole would take advantage o' Doc like that." Murphy spat out and Connor nodded shortly. But Da held up a hand before either of them could speak again.

"Let's find Doc first. Than we can weave our possibilities inta story form."

"And how do we fuckin' do that, Da?" Connor drew a pack of cigarettes from the coat on the back of his chair. Lighting two, he passed one over to Murphy.

Da leaned forward, still rolling the half of cigar he had left between his fingers. "Well, Smecker has a plan."

"Doesn't he always?" Murphy grinned at Connor. They both leaned forward at the same time, giving their full attention to Da. Finally, it was time to get down to business.

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Sara woke slowly in the now cold bed and realized that she was alone in the boys' bedroom. Fleeting memories of the night before came to her as she fought to wake up and with a sigh, she sat up, staring across the room.

Both twins had had nightmares. Connor's heavy breathing and twitching had woken her, but it was Murphy's low moan on the other side of the room that had sent the shiver down her spine. She barely had to shake Connor before he sat up in bed, his eyes wide and the air spilling out of his lungs. As his eyes turned to met hers, she nodded at Murphy's bed.

And she realized as she watched Connor speak softly to Murphy a few minutes later that while she'd fallen in love with one man, she'd gotten two. It was something that Katie had laughed about before with her, but for Sara it was more of a serious matter. She barely knew Murphy, but they were now connected through Connor.

As she pressed her lips together and stared off at the empty bed, Sara knew that it was past time that she got to know the man. Especially if she was going to be linked to him for the rest of her life.

Her eyes widened as the bubble of emotion burst inside of her. The rest of her life. Forcing a deep breath, she pushed that thought away and slid out of Connor's bed. Now was not the time to figure out what that meant.

Sara opened the bedroom door quietly and stepped out into the hall. A low murmur of the McManuses' voices could be heard from where she stood and she recognized the serious tones. Another assembly of the Saints. Sighing, she peeked around the corner and saw that she was right. All three men leaned in closely over the table, both Connor and Murphy listening to Da explain something with his hands. None of them noticed she was there.

Shaking her head, she leaned back against the hallway wall. She needed to leave them alone. While she couldn't tell what the conversation was about, she knew it was something serious. And it was also something she didn't want to know about.

Returning to the boys' room, she grabbed her overnight bag and headed to the bathroom. As serious as their conversation looked, she knew she had enough time to shower and get ready before they would even notice she was awake.

The events of the day before ran through her head as she showered but she fought the emotions instead of just letting them flow. There would be plenty of time to get emotional. Right now she needed to think, needed to finally fully process everything that had happened.

It was only as she stepped out of the still steamy bathroom, fully dressed and ready that she realized that she'd spent the entire time avoiding what was really bothering her. She loved Connor. It wasn't hard to admit anymore. But what did it mean? They'd barely had time to breathe after she'd let the words come out and now it was a few days later and they were no closer to knowing what it meant.

Love wasn't a binding contract. It didn't mean that Connor would stick by her and would let her stay around him. After all, she'd loved Greg and that hadn't worked out. Her parents had loved each other and that hadn't worked out, either. When did love mean forever? And would she and Connor even get to discuss it? To decide themselves?

Laughter from the kitchen distracted her and she heard quiet footsteps making their way to the hallway. Setting her bag inside the door, she grinned when Connor rounded the corner.

"Ye're awake. And showered already." He seemed surprised but barely paused for an answer before taking her into his arms. His lips were soft and warm against hers and she sighed. "Mornin', love."

She simply smiled at the words and closed her eyes against his shoulder. He was warm and solid, and his arms surrounded her, making her feel safe. She tightened her arms around him and sighed again.

"Ye okay?"

"I'm good, now."

His chuckle rumbled through his chest and she pressed her lips to his neck. "Glad I could help."

"I'd be even better if you could find me some food."

"Da's already workin' on it."

"Christ, I think I'm gonna have to love you forever then. Especially if it means I get to keep your family." She smiled up at him and he kissed the tip of her nose.

"Aye, forever is the plan, m'dear." He laughed softly and pushed her out toward the kitchen.

Sara felt the warmth spread through her body at his words but her response was lost as her stomach growled at the aroma now coming from the kitchen. Da was at the stove and as she stepped into the room, both he and Murphy looked up at her.

"Mornin' lass. Hope yer hungry."

"Da's makin' his specialty." Murphy grinned at her, motioning toward the chair next to Connor's. "Sit down. Make 'em serve ye."

He then winked at her and she smiled back. "That was the plan."

"And I shall serve." Connor whispered as he pressed his hand into her shoulder, leading her to the table. He poured another mug of coffee and set it in front of her. "Madame."

"Why, thank you, kind sir." Her eyes rose to find that Murphy was watching them and at the smile on his face, she bit back her question. It wasn't the time to bring up Katie yet. She had to assume that little had changed. They would have woken her up with the news if it had.

She moved to make a random subject changing comment, but a plate was quickly set in front of her instead. Laughing, she glanced up at Da before studying the food. "Dare I ask?"

"It's Da's semi-secret scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese toasted sandwich." Connor grinned at her as she raised an eyebrow at him. "Ye should feel special."

Murphy pointed his fork at her. "I do believe that yer the first non-McManus ta be given one."

"Wow, such a special occasion." She grinned back and took a small bite. It was surprising good. Swallowing, she shook her head. "This is such a man breakfast. You know that right?"

"And how is it a man breakfast, lass?"

Laughing, she glanced at Da, who was serving the last plate to Connor before sitting down with his own. "Simple. It's a combination. Guys are too impatient to eat everything separate."

"Aye, but ye seem ta be enjoyin' it yerself, Sara." Murphy winked again as she chewed another large bite.

"It's good." She nodded in agreement and took a sip of her still steaming coffee. "Are you telling me that Katie's never had this? After all this time of living with you?"

Connor shrugged and they were all quiet. The previous soft humor at the table was lost and they all ate in silence. Sara got halfway through her breakfast before sitting back with a sigh. "I didn't mean to chase away the good mood. But I'm assuming this means there's no new news?"

"Smecker said that the doctors think she'll be wakin' today." Connor leaned back and put his hand on the back of her chair. He smiled slightly at her, rubbing his other hand over the back of his head. Sara moved her gaze to Murphy who was scraping his fork along the edge of the toast.

"That's a good sign, Murph. The sooner she wakes up, the sooner she can come home."

He nodded slowly, bringing this thumb to his mouth and brought his eyes up to meet hers. "Aye, it's a good sign."

Three sharp raps on the door made them all jump in unison and Connor's hand came down on her shoulder. Sara glanced at him and she saw that some of the tension from the night before had returned. They were silent as Da got to his feet and peeked through the peephole. He frowned and opened the door quickly to reveal Smecker with his hand raised to knock again.

"Smecker, come in." Moving out of the way, Da made room for him to enter. The hand on Sara's shoulder squeezed slightly and as she brought her eyes back to Connor, she found that he was watching Murphy.

"Is everything okay?" Murphy's words rushed out and Smecker nodded quickly, raising his hand and stepping forward.

"She's fine. Resting still, actually." Smecker's fingers were laced loosely in front of him. Sara could swear that he seemed nervous. And she knew the tension in the room had thickened.

"Do you want some coffee?" Sara stood up, feeling Connor's hand dropping off of her shoulder with the movement. She was on her own in making Smecker feel welcomed, it seemed. What the hell was going on with the other three men?

Smecker just shook his head quickly. "No, I can't stay long. I just…" He sighed and turned directly toward Murphy. "I need to talk to you quick."

Connor stood up beside her and Murphy rose at the same time, coming around to stand in front of the table. "What's goin' on, Smecker?"
"I, uh…I told your father that I had a idea on how to get rid of the Saints. Well, it didn't go as well as planned." Smecker's hand shook as he rubbed it over his forehead before pushing back his hair. "Two officers came with me to the hospital. Katie woke up this morning."

"She did?" Murphy whispered and Connor grinned.

"That's great!"

But Smecker just pursed his lips in response.

"What goin' on, Smecker?" Da's voice was quiet and deep from behind them. Sara watched him and realized that something was wrong here. Something was wrong and Da could feel it. What the fuck had happened?

"When she woke up, I asked her some questions about what happened last night. But I asked her in a way to lead the detectives to the conclusion that the Saints had died in the fire." Sighing, Smecker laced his fingers together again and took a deep breath. His eyes rose to meet Murphy's. "Katie's memory is fuzzy enough that she believed me too."

"She thinks we're fuckin' dead? How could you-" The gasp came from Murphy and Sara's eyes widened as she saw the fury in his face. But before he could move, Connor's hand came down on his shoulder and Murphy remained still. She looked at Connor and saw that he seemed calm. But the flexing of the fingers in his free hand told her otherwise.

"I'm sorry, Murph. I didn't foresee that happening."

"How did she react?" Connor spoke for him, squeezing his hand lightly against Murphy's shoulder.

"She…uh, she was upset. They had to sedate her. They were afraid she'd hurt herself, tear her stitches or something." Smecker's voice trailed off at a whisper and he seemed braced for a reaction. But both twins remained completely still.

"Is she okay, Paul?" Da spoke again, his voice softer this time. Smecker nodded haltingly.

"Yeah. She's alright."

At his words, Murphy brushed Connor's hand off of his shoulder and pushed past Smecker. The front door slammed behind him. The room remained still.

Smecker sighed finally and ran his hand through his hair. His eyes were on the wall behind them, not meeting anyone's gaze. "Bring him to Katie's diner at ten o'clock. We'll find a way to get him in to see her."

"How?" Connor's question was blunt and Sara could hear the anger behind it. The anger he was trying hard to hide from Smecker.

"It doesn't matter how. She needs to see him. I think it's the only way we'll be able to convince her that what she heard was a lie. She's not likely to believe me now." Smecker turned on his heel and left the apartment quietly, the door making no noise as it closed behind him.

Connor stayed frozen to the spot, his fists clenched and his eyes fixed on some point beyond the door.

Sara knew he needed to go to Murphy now and tried not to feel lost because of it. She needed to move, so she slipped it coat off of the chair behind her and checked to make sure his keys, phone and wallet were inside. Putting her hand on his wrist, she laid it across his forearm. His eyes met hers and she saw the pain only briefly before he looked away.

"Go get him, Conn. He needs you."

He nodded briefly but moved the opposite way, disappearing into the hallway. After less than a minute, he reappeared, wearing his coat. Kissing her lightly on the temple as he walked past, he wordlessly left the apartment.

Sighing, Sara rubbed her hands over her face, shaking her head against the mixture of emotions inside. Was it always going to be this way? Would he always be so blinded by Murphy's emotions that he wouldn't notice that she needed him too?

"Are ye okay, lass?" Da's question was quiet and her eyes found him watching her. She nodded shortly.

"I'm fine."

"It's hard, isn't it?"

"What's hard?"

"Lovin' them. Sometimes they are so in tune with each other that they forget the rest o' the world exists."

She wanted to disagree and tell him that that couldn't be right, but the feeling in the pit of her stomach told her she was wrong. If anyone knew the truth it would be Da and his words struck a cord with her. Would she always be fighting to outweigh Murphy on the importance scale? Or would she eventually just give up, accepting her place as second best? Would second best be good enough?

Shaking her head against the thoughts, she picked up her jacket and purse and glanced at Da. "I'm gonna stop at the hospital. See if I can find out more before I head to work. Tell Connor I'll see him later on, okay?"

"He'll find ye later when he realized he deserted ye. Make 'im work for it, m'dear." Da gave her a small smile but she couldn't force one back. With another short nod, she left him and the apartment behind.

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Connor found Murphy less than halfway down the alley, pacing back and forth next to the dumpster. The fact that his brother was mumbling worried him a little, but he knew that Murphy had been far too still all morning. Perhaps his mumbling was just another way to work the energy out faster.

He knew the moment that Murphy felt his was there, about two seconds before he could have possibly heard him approach. His twin's shoulders stiffened slightly before slumping as he turned around. Their eyes met and Connor simply held his brother's gaze as he moved toward him.

The pain in Murphy's eyes hurt him; reaching deep down into his soul and tearing bits of it away. His twin shouldn't know that pain, shouldn't be subjected to that pain. But he was and now he stood in front of Connor again, looking for answers. And again, Connor had none.

He wanted to put his arms around his brother but he knew this wasn't the moment for comfort. So, he did what he knew he had to. Putting his arm over Murphy's shoulders, Connor pulled him into a headlock and rubbed his knuckles over his hair. Murphy's fist hit his chest, pushing him away and his eyes glared from behind his tousled hair.

"What the fuck was that?" Murphy pushed at his shoulder again, his voice gritty with anger.

"Hit me, Murph."

"What?"

"Hit me. If it'll make ye fuckin' feel better, let's have it out." Connor spread his arms wide and braced himself. But Murphy's fist never hit him, silence filling the void instead.

"I'm not gonna fuckin' hit ye, Conn."

"Fuckin' chicken."

"Fuck off. Hittin' ye won't make me feel any better."

Connor nodded, crossing his arms over his chest and bounced on the tips of his toes. "Okay, than what will?"

"Smecker's head on a fuckin' platter."

"Silver or bronze?"

"Don't fuckin' tempt me. He fuckin' screwed with her, Conn. Hasn't she been through enough? They had ta fuckin' sedate her." There was a slight break in Murphy's voice and the muscle in his jaw tensed. Reaching out, Connor squeezed his hand at the base of Murphy's neck. It was as he felt the tension there that he brought his brother into a quick embrace before letting go.

"She'll be fine, Murph. A bit confused but fine. And she'll be happier than hell ta see ye."

"It won't be soon enough. The damage is done. She thinks the three o' us are dead."

Shaking his head, Connor leaned down to catch Murphy's eye. "What if yer there ta see her wake up next time?"

"Shut it, Conn. It's not gonna fuckin' happen." Murphy turned away from him, running both of his hands through his hair before linking his fingers behind his head.

"We're ta meet at the diner at ten. That's less than an hour away."

"What for?"

"Ta get ye ready ta go see her." Connor smiled slowly as his brother whirled around, his eyes wide.

"Are ye fuckin' serious?"

"Aye, it's been set up. Smecker thought it'd be best if ye were the one that she woke up to."

"We're meetin' him at the diner?" Murphy seemed to be still in shock, his eyes focused across the block.

"We're ta be at Katie's diner at ten."

"Katie's diner?"

"Yeah. Are ye just goin' ta repeat every fuckin' word I say?" Connor chuckled as his brother grinned at him. The tension was gone from his face and Murphy was again caught up in the rollercoaster of his emotions, the anger from the past moments forgotten.

"He said Katie's diner, right?" Murphy smiled wider as Connor nodded in response. "I'm glad ye specified. That's not our diner. That's the diner that Katie and I ended up that day. The day we were tryin' ta lose the two fuckin' mobsters. Fuck, that feels like ages ago."

Connor laughed softly, nodding as his brother continued to stare off down the alley again. He slipped his hand into his pocket, pulling out the thin metal chain and cross he'd gotten from their box. Grabbing Murphy's hand, he dropped the necklace into his palm, smiling at the confused look on his brother's face.

"Consider it a loan. Until ye get yer own fixed for her." His words seemed lost on Murphy as his brother raised the necklace out of his hand, his eyes searching the back side of the cross.

"But this is yers."

"Aye, because yers is still fuckin' broken. I thought she might be better off with a temporary one."

Murphy pressed his lips together, staring down at the metal now gathered in his hand again. His eyes rose to met Connor's, and they exchanged a long look. "Thanks, Conn."

The words covered so little of what Murphy's eyes had really said to him, but Connor just nodded in response, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "Just tell her if she breaks that one, that they'll be no more ta follow. There's only the two o' us ta own 'em."

"I'll be sure ta pass the word on." Murphy slipped the necklace into his pocket, fisting his hand inside. Connor nodded toward the street end of the alley.

"Let's take the scenic route. We still haven't gotten a good view o' the south side yet."

Murphy nodded slowly and followed Connor out of the alley. The sound of their boots against the concrete was more than enough to fill the air.

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Murphy's heart had steadily beat faster as they neared the diner. The conversation between him and Katie from the first time they'd found the diner played through his head, blocking his mind from all other sounds. It had been easy to get lost in that moment with her. To have a few laughs while they were trying not to get killed.

"Who do ye want to be?" He'd asked her and felt his heart skip a bit as she grinned.

"Miss America." She'd waved her arms dramatically.

"Aye, but maybe we should be something they'll likely believe." She'd hit him then, the smile never leaving her face as she had pretended to be hurt by his words. Then as she had tried to get him to act with her, she'd laughed at his confused look.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to violate you on the street or anything."

He'd wanted to kiss her then, for the first time, on a public street in front of the two mobsters following them. She'd turned what could have been a stressful period of time into a teasing conversation. And he'd been able to get a glimpse of what she might be like outside of the situation they'd found themselves in.And he'd gotten an idea of how easy it would be to love her.

And it was easy to love her, and he knew he was lucky to still have a chance after all that had happened. A large part of him still felt the anger and the fear, but at the moment it was overrun by the butterflies in his stomach and the warmth in his chest. He was going to get to see her soon.

"Murph?" Connor's voice made him look to his right and he realized that his brother had stopped. They'd made it to the diner. And as lost as he was in his thoughts, he'd gone past the diner. "Ye okay?"

Nodding slowly, he dipped his hands into his pocket again, taking a deep breath and stepping towards his twin. "Fine. Smecker inside yet?"

"I don't see 'im. Let's go in anyway. We'll look a bit more suspicious if we just fuckin' stand here."

"Let's go in, then." Murphy opened the door and walked through, bracing it for Connor to keep the door open for himself. The diner was fairly empty, which was no surprise since it was between the breakfast and lunch rushes. An older waitress leaned over the counter and eyed them.

"You want a booth? Or is the counter enough for ya?"

"Ah, we're meetin' someone." Connor turned to skim his eyes over the booths and Murphy pulled his hands out of his pocket, unsure of what to do with them to appear calm and normal. His eyes moved to the left as a blonde man turned around to face them.

"They're looking for me." Peter Shafer stood up from his booth and nodded at the two of them without a smile. Murphy's eyes widened and he stayed where he was. Katie's brother was meeting them. Not Smecker. Even the nerves he'd felt hadn't prepared him for that. Katie's brother.

"Come on, Murph." Connor grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the table, shoving him into the booth. Murphy pressed his lips together and nodded again at Peter, hoping to cover his uncertainty.

"Mornin'."

Peter gave a half laugh. "Yeah, good morning."

"Where's Smecker?" Connor slipped his coat off and slid in next to Murphy. Peter sighed and shook his head at the offer of a cigarette. Murphy took one thankfully, hoping that would calm him down.

"He asked me to meet you two instead. I think he's avoiding you."

"Fuckin' should be." He thought he'd muttered the words under his breath but at the quick looks from both Connor and Peter, Murphy knew he'd been heard.

"Look, McManus, if anyone understands how you feel, it's me. As her brother, I wanted to kill him myself. But as a detective, I know that what he did was necessary. It saved your asses."

"I think we'd just rather our asses not be saved at Katie's expense." Connor spoke up for him, tapping his cigarette into the ashtray.

"And I'd be rather pissed if he did it on purpose." Peter responded, receiving a nod from Connor in return. Murphy just brought his thumb up to his mouth, not trusting himself to respond at the moment. "He's trying to make it right by making sure you're there when she wakes up."

"How?"

Peter shifted his gaze from Connor to Murphy and tilted his head. "Katie ever mention our cousin Billy?"

Murphy took a drag and shook his head. They hadn't really had the chance to go over each other's family histories.

"Well, the important thing is that we have one. He's a little taller than you, but he had darker hair and is roughly your age. You are going to be Billy Shafer today."

"It's that simple?" Connor spoke up, his gaze meeting Peter directly. He nodded in response.

"Yeah, basically. Murphy, you'll come in with me. The hospital won't really question you. And if anyone else cares enough to search, they'll find Billy."

"And there's no chance that the real Billy will show up?" Murphy frowned, rolling the cigarette between his fingers.

"Not likely. He and Katie have never been close. Fuck, he's never been close with any of the family. But one thing. Can you get rid of your accent, Murphy?" Murphy nodded. "Good, than you're allowed to speak in the hospital."

Murphy smiled slowly. "Gee, thanks." He tensed then when Peter slid out of the booth and motioned toward them.

"Let's get going."

"Now?" His stomach jumped and Murphy unwillingly followed Connor out of the booth. Peter nodded slowly, giving him what seemed like a look of understanding.

"The sooner the better. She, uh….she needs you, Murph." His voice trailed off softly and he glanced around the diner before finally meeting Murphy's gaze.

Murphy felt the tightening around his heart and the lump formed in his throat again. She needed him. But Christ, he needed her, too. And he was going to see her soon. Would be able to touch her soon. Forcing the burning of tears at the base of his throat down, he nodded slowly.

"She'll need ye, too. Once she's awake, she'll need her family, Peter." Murphy squeezed his hand on Peter's shoulder and led the way out of the diner. He felt little hesitation left. He was going to see her and he wasn't going to be able to wait much longer to do so.

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Connor kept his hand on his brother's shoulder as they walked into the side entrance of the hospital. Peter had grudgingly agreed to let him come in as well, as long as they kept out of sight of most of the nurses. He would have been more than content to stay outside, but by Murphy's increasing silence, he knew there was a chance his brother might just need him.

They'd both shed their recognizable black coats in the car, Murphy changing into a spare SUNY sweatshirt of Peter's. Peter had worked to try to get them to leave their rosaries behind, but they'd both refused in quiet unison. They didn't go without them anymore. And Connor knew they would continue to wear them constantly until they were safely home in Ireland.

Murphy's body tensed as they drew closer to Katie's room, but Connor was forced to let go of him as they reached the random waiting room he was to stay in, out of the way of everyone else.

"Give her me love, Murph."

Murphy nodded at him slowly and for once, it was his brother that drew him in for a quick hug. "I will. Go find Sara."

Blinking at his words, Connor dipped his head in agreement and sat down in the waiting room. Sara. Christ, he'd forgotten about her. In the rush to make sure his brother didn't commit some kind of crime of passion, she'd gotten lost in the shuffle of his mind. Fuck. Pulling out his phone, he saw that it was now nearly eleven. And she hadn't called him.

Glancing around him, he quickly found her number and pushed for it to dial. His heart skipped faster as the rings kept coming and he fought a sigh as her voice mail clicked on.

"Sara, it's me. Christ, where are ye at? I'm sorry I just left without really talkin' ta ye. Call me back. I love ye." Closing his eyes, he ended the call and slipped the phone back into his pocket. She'd told him to leave. That Murphy needed him more. Fuck, would it always come down to choosing between who needed him more?

His fingers itched for a cigarette but Connor fought the urge and stayed where he was. Peter would be headed back this way soon and he knew he shouldn't make him wait alone. Sara might need some space right now, since she was most likely angry at him.

Maybe it was time to get to know Katie's brother a little more. Keep the man occupied. Because even Connor had seen the pain in his eyes. And with Katie still unconscious, Peter was alone. And he had a feeling that both he and Peter could use a drink at the moment. Brother to brother, they might just get along really well.

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Murphy could feel the pulse in his temples as he approached the room. The smell of hospital was around him and he was reminded again just how much he hated places like this. But they'd kept Katie alive and for that he had to be thankful of them.

Peter's hand took Connor's place on his shoulder as they neared the room and Murphy found that his feet wouldn't take him in. Peter sighed and nodded toward the door. "Remember that she'll look ten times better when she's awake and smiling at you."

Nodding his head shortly, Murphy couldn't take his eyes away from the curtain. The curtain was all that separated him from Katie. And he couldn't seem to get himself in there. The knot tightened in his stomach and he forced himself to take a shaky breath.

Peter gave him a gentle push inside. "Go, Murphy. You'll feel better when you see her."

Glancing back, Murphy tried to offer him a smile but found that he couldn't. So he just bobbed his head in understanding instead. "Thanks, Peter."

"You're welcome. Take care of my sister and I'll go baby-sit your brother." With one last smile, Peter disappeared from the doorway, leaving Murphy alone.

Picking up his feet, he forced himself to move forward, parting the curtain with his hand, he peeked inside slowly. His heart was in his throat as he stared at her. She seemed pale, her face quietly peaceful with the exception of the dark bruise that loitered over the pale pink of her cheek.

Murphy's hands trembled as he sat down beside her on the bed, ignoring the chair that everyone else seemed to use. Her hair was soft beneath his fingertips and as he leaned in close, he could smell the scent that was uniquely Katie. His Katie.

There was a beeping from beside him, but he tuned it out, his eyes on her face. He searched for any sign of consciousness, but she simply continued to sleep serenely. It was eerie because she was rarely quiet, rarely this peacefully calm.

Pressing his lips to her forehead, he trailed his finger softly down her cheek. She was alive. His Katie was alive.

Without taking his eyes off of her, he pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down in it. Taking her hand, he held it between his, leaning his elbows on the bed. He blinked against the burning behind his eyes and let the air out he'd been holding.

"I'm here now, Katie. Take as long as ye need, because I'll always be right here." Choking on the words, he felt the hot path of tears down his cheeks and watched as his vision of her turned watery. "I'm here." He whispered and rested his forehead against his hands, his lips forming in prayers while he waited.