A/N: Plans changed...I realized my plan made no sense. The chapter is half written and I will get time now on Sunday to finish it and be able to post as normal on Monday. I think I was crazy to try to get one done this week... And since this story keeps going...and going...I think I'm going to try to start making the chapters longer again. The official plan for this story is that it 'could' be done by Chapter 50. And while I like a nice round number like that, I do feel like that will be rushing it a little bit. However, I can say that this story will not go beyond Chapter 55. The end is in sight...which means I can start working on the sequel soon. :) Thank you Anasazi Darkmoon...you are now my official betawench!
The McManus apartment was quiet the next morning when Sara used the extra key to let herself in. Soft snoring came from the direction of the couch and she started when she saw Doc stretched out, his glasses crooked on his face.
Bottles and plates littered the tables and the floor of the living room, leaving only a small patch in the corner untouched and she couldn't help but smile though her sigh. Christ, had they gotten that drunk? Or were they just naturally that messy? What the hell was she getting herself into? The apartment looked almost as bad as the Shafer's house after Peter's last kegger.
Shaking her head, she deposited her grocery bags on the counter and turned to face the mess again. She grinned, pulling the bag out of the trash can and started picking it all up. It took her ten minutes and two garbage bags, but she managed to get the rooms reasonably clean without too much of an effort.
Doc had rolled over as she'd knocked over a bottle near the couch but he'd stayed asleep, the glasses falling completely off of his face and bouncing onto the carpet. Picking them up, she folded them carefully and set them onto the coffee table in front of him.
Her mind wandered as she worked hopping from one happy image to another. Katie was coming home, the Saints were dead and Sara was just beginning to realize what this all meant. They were free. She may not have been around for all of the drama, but she understood completely the fear that had gripped them all for the past couple of weeks. If the Yakavettas and the Fertittas thought the Saints were dead, there was no more reason to worry. It was over.
She realized she was humming softly as she finished unloading the bags of groceries on the counter. A chuckle came from behind her and she spun around to find a blurry eyed Murphy leaning against the kitchen wall. "Do I know that song?"
"I don't even know that song." She grinned at him, trying not to be embarrassed at being caught. "Good morning, Murphy."
"Mornin'. What are ye doin' here this early?" He yawned and blinked slowly.
"I didn't wake you, did I?"
Shaking his head, he moved past her to grab a coffee mug and poured himself a cup of the coffee she'd made. "Nope. Was already awake."
"You look like it." Sara couldn't help but grin as he just looked at her. Apparently Murphy wasn't as much of a morning person as Connor was. Slouching into one of the chairs at the table, he took a long drink.
"Couldn't get back ta sleep. Something fuckin' woke me up again, but I don't remember was it was."
"Nightmares?" Grabbing a mug of coffee for herself, she moved to sit across from him. He gave her a small smile as she rested her arms on the table and waited for his answer.
"That was earlier in the night. I don't know what this was."
"Katie?"
He took another long drink before nodding. "Maybe."
"You'll feel better once she gets home today, Murph. Fuck, we all will."
"Aye, possibly." His eyes stayed focused on his mug before he smiled and looked up at her again. "So what is this about a surprise party?"
"Actually, it kinda grew since I talked to Conn. I couldn't sleep either." She grinned as he nodded in understanding. Sara got to her feet, leaving her mug on the table and moved to the groceries on the counter. "First, I figured I'd make breakfast. Then, since Katie's going to be released between eleven and noonish, we can make a big lunch for everybody and then see what goes from there. Depending on how she feels, we can stick around here or go to McGinty's…"
"Not McGinty's." Murphy pressed his lips together and glanced over at the still sleeping Doc.
"Why not?"
"Sounds like Tommy fuckin' trashed the place. It won't be open for a little while, if ever."
Sara found herself following Murphy's gaze at Doc and she felt a twist of guilt in her gut. If things hadn't gone like they had with Tommy, maybe he wouldn't have taken it out on Doc's bar. "Fuck, poor Doc. How's he taking it?"
He shrugged. "The bar was his fuckin' baby. How would ye be takin' it?"
"I'd go bitch about it to my family. Shed a few tears, plot some revenge and then plan to move on."
"Yeah, well. We made it ta step two with 'im last night."
Busying herself with opening up the pancake mix, Sara ignored the further twisting of her insides and tried to push back the feeling of dread. She found a bowl that passed as large enough to mix the batter and set it on the counter. "So I guess Tommy's ears should've been really burning last night."
"I'm sure they were. Ye want some help?"
Forcing a smile, she glanced at him and shook her head. "I've heard about your cooking skills. And if you are anywhere near as bad as Conn is…"
"As bad as I am at what?" His voice was gravelly but Connor gave her a tired grin as she turned to face him.
"At cooking. Now be a good boy and sit at the table with your brother." She pointed toward the table with her spoon before moving back to her batter mixing. Arms came around her from behind, warming her and she fought the melting sensation as she leaned back against him.
"Ye don't look like me Ma, Sara. So I'm not about ta listen." His lips met her temple softly and she turned to face him, grinning.
"If you want breakfast, you will." Putting her arms around his neck, she pressed her lips to his for a long, soft kiss before he rested her forehead against hers.
"I could get used ta wakin' to ye makin' me breakfast. But o' course in that vision, Murph's not sittin' at the table watchin' us."
She heard Murphy clear his throat and without opening her eyes to glance at him, she knew his eyes were anywhere else but on them. "I'm not fuckin' watchin'."
With another quick kiss, Connor let her go, giving her a wink as he reached above her to grab a mug. "Mornin', love."
"Good morning, Connor." Sara grinned and crossed her arms over her chest as she watched Murphy just shake his head and sigh.
"The two o' ye are enough ta make a man sick." She saw the smile in his eyes about two full seconds before he gave into it.
"And you and yer Katie are much better?" Connor hooked his elbow over the back of the chair and sat back so that he was facing the both of them. Murphy just made a face. "Me point exactly. Ye can get us back when she gets home."
"Like she'd go for it." He grinned back at Connor. "She's embarrassed enough that ye know anything. Much less fuckin' see anything."
"And that's Katie for you." Sara finished mixing the batter and moved it over to the stove. "She's never been one for PDA. One of her many quirks that I don't understand.
Murphy chuckled and his eyes crinkled as he shook his head at her. "Exhibitionist."
"Voyeur." She replied and heard the approval in his laughter. Getting comfortable with Connor's brother wasn't nearly as tough as she thought it'd be. Which was, of course, just another plus to the fact that there was a future now to be had with them. She'd never met Greg's family, so it made her feel ten times better to get to know Connor's. Better and more permanent.
"Uh, Sara, who cleaned everythin' up?" Connor spoke up, breaking through the comfortable silence after a few minutes.
"Who do you think? I could hardly move in here. Besides, I figured the three of you would be too hung-over to help me much."
"Ye could've left it for us."
She glanced over after pouring the first few pancakes on the griddle and grinned. "Oh, don't worry. I'm sure I can still find plenty to leave for you."
"Sara, ye do realize that Katie has seen our apartment as it is, right?" Murphy raised an eyebrow at her and she gave him a long look in response.
"And you realize that she's not going to be up to her usual daily cleaning like before, right?"
"Katie never cleaned the apartment."
Sara moved her gaze to Connor and just shook her head with a grin. "You three never realized it, did you? Didn't you notice a difference in your apartment after you brought Katie home?"
Holding back a laugh, she watched as the two brothers exchanged confused looks.
"In the quality of cookin', yes. But not really in the cleanin' part." Connor dug into the coat on the back of his chair for his cigarettes. Murphy slid him the lighter and after taking a long drag, Connor slid it back to him along with the cigarettes.
"Well, I guarantee you that she did. When Katie needs to think, she cleans. We always had the cleanest dorm room around finals week. I even caught her doing it at my apartment while you guys were in New York. Trust me, there's a difference."
"So, we'll just make sure she doesn't need ta fuckin' think."
Connor laughed. "That's the way ta do it, Murph. Good fuckin' answer." They shared a grin and Sara just rolled her eyes. She turned back to the stove and flipped the pancakes.
"So who all is invited ta this get together?" Murphy's question made her turn around again and she shrugged.
"Mostly, everyone who is already here, plus a few more."
Connor glanced at Murphy. "Don't ye like that? She's havin' a party at our apartment. Glad ta make the guest list, Rosie."
"Like I could count on the two of you to do it."
Murphy cut off Connor's reply. "So, who are these few more people?"
"Peter, Katie of course. Doc's already here. Smecker."
"Smecker?"
"Don't start that, Murph. The man made a fuckin' mistake. He's got a right ta be here, too." Rolling the cigarette between his fingers, he gave Murphy a long look. Sara could feel the tension from where she stood.
"You two ready for some breakfast finally?" She broke in and felt a little better when they both turned to look at her.
"Aye, 'bout fuckin' time there, Sara. We've been starvin' here." Murphy's smile seemed a little forced but he playfully nudged her as he moved to the fridge. "Conn, ye want milk?"
"Well, beer doesn't go too well with pancakes."
"Good point." Depositing the butter, syrup and milk on the table, he took his seat again. "We're ready ta be served, pancake wench."
"Hey now." Connor stood up to take the plates from her and he shot her a grin. "I'm the only one who gets ta call her that."
"Wow, a whole new name. Just for making breakfast."
"Well, that's that thing about us McManuses, Sara." Murphy kept his eyes on his pancakes as he poured the syrup. "We like ta make everyone feel fuckin' at home."
She just shook her head with a smile and leaned back in her chair. The boys kept the conversation going, teasing each other back and forth and she noticed a distinct difference in their behavior. They were more relaxed. Almost as if they were more innocent again. Almost if as they were finally free.
Katie was surprised at the nerves she felt as she slowly climbed the staircase in their apartment building. Peter's hand was on her back and he shared yet another smile with her.
The hospital had let her go early, at eleven on the dot because they felt she was more than ready to leave. Her brother had stayed with her all morning, entertaining her and keeping her mind off of watching the clock. But the minutes had ticked by slowly still and she'd expected all of the tension that had built to release as she walked out of the hospital.
But it didn't and she was beginning to realize that it had built not because she was leaving but because she was seeing Murphy soon. And it was because of that that she convinced Peter to fill her prescription at the nearest pharmacy and to take her straight to the apartment from there.
She was in the final stretch as she rounded the corner but stopped short as she saw Smecker pacing back and forth in front of their apartment door. His eyes rose at the movement and he froze as he stared at her. "Katie. You're home."
"Paul." She found herself grinning as she moved forward. "It's so good to see you." Moving carefully, she put her arms around him. After a long moment, his arms wrapped around her, too.
"It's good to see you, too. How are you feeling?"
She looked up at him, hearing the relief in his voice. "I'm fine. I'm glad you are here."
Stepping back, he ran his hand over his hair, his eyes on the door. "I almost didn't come. But it didn't feel right not to."
"I'm glad you did. You saved them, Paul."
"And put you through hell to do it." There was pain in his eyes as he gazed back down at her, and his hand found its way to her shoulder. "I'm not sure that it was worth that."
Katie shook her head at him, narrowing her eyes. "It was worth whatever it took. No harm, no foul."
"Wish everyone felt that way."
"They will, Smecker." Peter's voice came from a little ways behind them and Katie glanced back. "They'll understand."
"Murph runs on emotions, not logic. And I'm sure Conn has had a chance to beat the logic of the situation into him." She grinned and felt some of the tension slid away as Smecker managed to smile.
"Connor is always good for that role."
"You ready to go in, Paul?" Moving toward the door, she looked back at both him and Peter. He nodded slowly.
"Sure. Lead the way."
Katie raised her hand to knock but grinned at Peter shook her keys into her line of vision. Taking them, she quietly unlocked the door and pushed it open. She couldn't help but grin at what she saw. The apartment was strangely clean, something smelled wonderful and Sara was shaking her butt as she stirred something to the stove. It felt like home.
"Christ, is this was I've been missing?"
Sara jumped at the sound of her voice and she grinned. "You're here. Fuck, you're early even. Must be Peter's influence." Moving over to Katie quickly, she gave her a gentle hug before pulling back to study her face. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine." Katie tried not to sigh at the question but Sara laughed in response.
"Already sick of that question, huh?"
"Wouldn't you be?"
"Hey, Peter. Paul, you did come!"
"Sara?" Connor's voice rang in from the hallway. "Where did Da go?" He peeked his head around the corner and his eyes widened as he saw the group of them. Smiling slowly, he walked toward them. "You're early."
His arms went around her tightly and Katie felt him kiss the top of her head. There was emotion in his voice but she could tell he was still smiling. "Glad ye finally got here. Did they let ye out? Or did ye fuckin' break out?"
"Good behavior."
"Now that doesn't seem too fuckin' likely." He brushed his hand over her hair as he looked down at her. She knew that she was being studied again, and it was only the look of concern on his face that kept her from rolling her eyes.
"I'm fine, Connor. Really."
"Ye look fine. And that's a nice fuckin' bruise there." His fingers kept in contact with her as they brush softly over her cheek and she knew it was similar to what Murphy had done. If there was contact, she was really there. She hated the fact that they ever had to assure themselves of that, and she hated the growing lump in her throat almost as much.
"You've got a nice one yourself. Right here." She brushed her finger over his temple. Connor just made a face at her.
"That's just a smudge. Didn't even fuckin' hurt." He grinned as she laughed at him. Tilting his head toward the hallway, he looked at her. "He's in the shower. Go flush the toilet or something."
"Good idea." She squeezed his hand quickly before letting go. Giving Connor a wink, she moved carefully to the hallway. After she rounded the corner, she could hear him talking softly to Smecker. Good. Raising her hand, she knocked on the bathroom door. It opened quickly, revealing a steam covered Murphy rubbing a towel over his head.
"Dammit, Conn. I told ye I've got ta get ready. She's gonna be here soon…" His voice trailed off as his eyes finally found hers. Katie felt that familiar kick of emotion as his eyes grew soft. "Katie. Ye're here."
She nodded slowly; a little afraid to speak as she felt the lump in her throat double in size. Seeing him there, at home, doing everyday things made her realize just what she could've missed out on. If something had happened to either of them…
"Here, I've got ta change. Come with me." He hadn't touched her yet, simply opening the door to let her through first. But she noticed the slight trembling of his hands as he pulled his boxers and then his jeans on. He only moved to look at her again once he'd pulled the dark gray shirt over his head.
"Murph, I'm fine. So don't ask."
"I knew not ta." He managed a soft smile and stepped toward her. "Can I…I just…" His words seemed to jumble but she somehow knew what he was after. Stepping forward, she put her arms around him, pressing her face into his chest.
"You won't hurt me, Murph. I promise." At her words, his arms tightened around her and she felt him take a shuddering breath. Moving his head, he pressed his lips to her neck.
"It was almost like I had ta prepare meself for this. And ye showed up early. Ye caught me off guard."
Katie sighed against his chest, raising her head to look up at him. "I got all nervous again. You are the person I am most comfortable around. Why would I be nervous?"
His gaze met hers and they both just stared for a minute. Murphy finally glanced away before his eyes came back. "Somethin's changed. And I think somehow we both know that."
Pressing her face into his shoulder, she nodded. She'd felt a different vibe from him from the moment she'd woken up in the hospital. Something had changed but she figured it was just the emotion of the moment. But she'd felt the same when she'd woken up that morning and that was what had been building all day. But what was it?
"What changed?" She whispered finally.
Keeping a supportive arm on her back, Murphy's hand cupped her face and he brought his lips to hers. His kiss was sweet and gentle and slow as he deepened it, his thumb whispering over her cheek as his fingers got lost in her hair.
Tears burned at the corners of her eyes as he finally pulled away and she buried her face in his shirt. His hand rubbed down her back as he dipped to try to look into her face. "Are ye alright? Did I hurt ye?"
"No, I'm fine." His shirt muffled her voice and she could hear his heart still racing.
"Than why are ye cryin'?" He kept his voice soft and she felt his palm brush against her chin as he raised her face to look at him. His eyes searched hers and she closed her eyes against the rush of emotion.
"Every time you do that, I realize how much I love you." As the words came out, she knew it made sense to her and she knew he understood as she looked back up at him.
"And that, a ghrà, is what has changed. We knew that joy o' it before, but now, we've learned that even love has a fuckin' cost. And we know what's there ta lose." His voice shook a little with the last few words and she saw the emotions battle in his eyes. And she knew they'd both fall apart soon if they didn't do something.
"What does that mean, Murph? You've called me that a few times now."
"Me love." He swallowed hard before giving her a small smile. "It means me love."
"I like it. But now I've got to find something to call you."
His smile was warm as he stared down at her. "Ye'll think o' something, I'm sure."
"I need to learn another language. Even then I'll never catch up to you and Conn. Or Sara even."
"Sara?"
Katie nodded. "She knows three. English, Spanish and Italian."
"Ma can teach ye. She taught the two o' us." Murphy kept his arm around her and he pressed his lips to her forehead. "Let's go out there before someone comes lookin' fer us."
"One more question."
"Yeah?" The corners of his mouth creep up as she leaned her head against his shoulder.
"What did you say to me at the hospital yesterday? It was a phrase."
"A phrase?"
"Yeah. You said it right before I fell asleep."
"Don't know." He shrugged, keeping his eyes anywhere else as he opened the door.
"Murphy, you know exactly what I'm talking about. What did you say?" His cheeks had turned a little pink and she realized he was blushing. She'd embarrassed him somehow. Or what he said had embarrassed him. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that. Don't worry about it."
His eyes found hers and he chewed on the side of his thumb as he studied her for a moment. Katie smiled slightly and pushed his hand away from his mouth, gripping her fingers around it. He glanced down at their hands and grinned.
His voice was quiet as he answered. "It meant me heart is within ye. Ye seemed so worried I'd leave ye. But it's not possible. Because a big part o' me is right here." He tapped the soft area above her heart, his fingertips brushing gently against her breast.
Fighting the tight feeling in her chest, Katie pressed her lips to his and she felt a flare of passion from his end before he pulled away. His arms surrounded her and he leaned his chin on the top of her head. She could feel the bumps of his rosary beneath the soft fabric of his shirt and she reached up to pull it out, cradling the cross in the palm of her hand.
She could feel his eyes upon her as she traced her fingers over the dark stained wood, circling the metal ring in the center. It was the symbol of Murphy and of the McManuses and of everything that made him who he was. Everything that made her love him. And as she pressed her lips to it, she knew it was the one thing she could always depend on to keep him safe.
His lips brushed hers gently and she found herself looking into the blue depths of his eyes. "Ye think we still need that?"
She could feel his fingers slipping beneath the collar of her shirt, bringing out the silver chain and cross to dangle from his fingertips. His eyes moved with the chain, following the cross back and forth for a moment before he captured it between his thumb and index finger, pressing it to his lips.
"I think it's still worth trying. Hasn't failed us so far." She smiled and he kissed her again.
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it?"
"Something like that."
His hand cupped the back of her neck and he leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. She watched as he breathed in deeply before his lips slowly moved into a smile.
A clearing throat cut off any response she had and they both glanced over to find Connor watching them, a small smile on his face. "Are the two o' ye finally ready? We're waitin' on ye."
"Aye, we're ready." Murphy's voice was soft and Katie turned her head back to him. They shared a long look before they both grinned.
"Sneaky bastard." She smiled widely as he burst out into laughter.
"Haven't heard that for awhile."
"How long do you think he was watching?"
"Who knows. Serves 'im right, though."
"What do you mean, Murph?"
"Long story, Katie." He kept his arm around her, squeezing his hand on her shoulder. "I'll tell ye later."
"Preferably much, much later. I'm not sure I want to know right now." They moved into the living room together and Katie watched the large group talking, laughter floating around. Da and Doc had returned and both were seated at the table, smoking cigars and smiling. And she knew as soon as they saw her they'd be coming over to see her, to talk to her, and probably to touch her. To make sure she was there. To make sure she was real.
But this all was real and she realized that that was what made it so great. A little over a month ago, she'd felt more alone than ever before. And it took a good amount of violence, a large share of fear and an even bigger portion of love to make her realize that she was hardly alone. The love she felt for these people was real and it was that that threatened to overwhelm her at the moment. And it was for that that she would deal with the concerned looks and the repeating question as to how she was doing. Because it simply meant that they cared and that she would not be alone again. She would never need to be alone, she knew, with the dysfunctional family of sorts in that room. And if she could help it, none of them would ever be alone again.