Rachel rested her head on the cool passenger window of her father's hybrid, watching the familiar sights of Lima, Ohio race by. Not a lot had changed since she'd been home for winter break, but what had changed was heartbreaking.
"No!" She cried out in horror, sitting up suddenly.
"Sweet Heart, are you okay?" Hiram Berry asked her.
"This can't be happening," She said, shaking her head at her lap.
"I knew she'd freak out," Leroy sighed from the back seat. He'd let her take the front because her was that thrilled that she'd come home, and wanted to pamper her.
She turned to him, wide-eyed. "You knew and you didn't tell me!"
"Honey, it wasn't important," Leroy told her. "You've moved on."
"The Lima Bean was a sacred place," She said quickly. "Kurt and Blaine owe their relationship to that coffee. What's going to happen now that it's out of business?"
"People will start going to Starbucks," Hiram mumbled.
"That's not funny!" Rachel snapped. "I was going to take my god children on pilgrimages to that coffee house, and point to the spot where I kissed their father and helped him realize he was gay, and to the spot where Blaine told Kurt that he loved him for the first time, and to the spot where the entire Glee club sat around trying to conclude whether Kurt was cheating or not."
"Wait a minute; didn't Kurt and Blaine split up, like, two years ago?" Leroy asked.
Rachel scowled. "They were the perfect couple. There's still hope,"
"No one ends up with their high school sweet heart, honey," Hiram said, reaching over to pat his daughter on the shoulder. "And the bean was an independent business. We all knew it was only a matter of time."
Rachel knew she should feel silly getting so worked up, but she stood behind her reaction. New York might have been where she always felt she belonged, but there was something comforting about returning to Lima. She had a sick feeling that the coffee house going out of business was the first in a long line of events that would little by little turn her home town into something unrecognizable. She wasn't sure if she could accept that.
Fortunately, her bedroom was exactly the way she had left it. As she dropped her bags on the foot of her bed, she took a deep breath and did a slow turn, wanting to examine it from every angle. The air was thick with memories: sleepovers with Kurt and Mercedes; hours recording song covers for MySpace; make-out sessions with a variety of boys. Okay, so maybe it wasn't exactly a variety. There were three of them: Finn, Jesse, and Noah.
She remembered her freshman year of high school, before she had ever kissed a boy, she used to lie in bed at night and wonder what it would be like to have a man in bed beside her. She remembered what it was like to pull Noah into her bed for the first time; to have his warm, muscular body resting next to hers. She felt guilty, looking back and remembering that that's all he really was at the time: a warm body. Even though she had been kissing him, she'd been thinking about Finn.
She and Finn had broken up before he deployed. She still wrote to him sometimes and often wanted to tell herself that the two of them would get back together when he came home. It would be like one of those World War Two romances, where the man's absence was merely a petty obstacle on the way to a happy ending. What pained Rachel, more than knowing it wouldn't happen, was that she didn't want it to. She would always love Finn, and she would give her life to see him come home safely. The idea of the two of them together, however, had lost its appeal. The spark was gone at the time of the break-up, and Rachel knew it would never re-ignite. It just wasn't meant to be.
She remembered cheating on him with Puck junior year of high school, and reminded herself how immature she had been. Once again, she'd treated Noah Puckerman as an object.
Rachel picked up her garment bag and unzipped it carefully. Nervous, she removed her dress and gave it an intense examination. She let out a sigh of relief. It appeared unscathed. She couldn't help but fantasize about what would happen when she walked into the temple wearing it. She secretly hoped she would turn heads. Of course, as her fantasy progressed, she began to focus on one head in particular. Noah used to compliment her physical appearance on a daily basis. Sure, Finn and Jesse claimed they loved her personality, but Puck was the only guy who ever seemed to want to ravish her, and that meant a lot. He once organized a flash mob in order to persuade her not to get plastic surgery. He'd always gone out of his way to make her feel good about herself.
Standing alone in her room, Rachel began to blush. It was the first time that she admitted to herself what she was really hoping for. She hadn't had sex in over a year, since her last boyfriend, Jacques, turned out to be one of the "conflicted" men Kurt had warned her about back in high school. Maybe she was hoping that the mutual, purely carnal, attraction she and Noah had shared in high school would re-present itself in the event of their reunion. She'd never been one to hope for a one night stand, but this weekend she was feeling adventurous. It gave her nothing but hope to know that the first time Noah Puckerman would see her again, she'd look amazing.
Suddenly, her phone started to ring. Speak of the devil.
"Well hello there," She answered quickly.
"Sup, Berry," Puck snapped. "So …you in town yet…?"
"I just started unpacking. Why…?"
"Here's the deal," He had this business-like tone to his voice that Rachel found a tad discouraging. "I was going to drive my caddie home…"
"What's that?" Rachel interrupted. "Like, a golf cart?"
"A Cadillac…I drive one now," Puck explained.
Rachel nodded to herself. "I see."
"Well, I drove one," He continued. "But, I kind of totaled it yesterday. Don't ask. Anyway, I ended up taking a bus from Cleveland. I figured my mom would pick me up from the station, but she had some sort of waxing appointment, so I'm in need of some transportation."
Rachel looked over at her full-length mirror. She had no make-up on and was wearing a sweat-shirt and yoga pants. "Now…?" She stammered.
"Yeah, you can spare a favor, can't you? Besides, who else are you going to hang out with? No one else is crazy enough to come back to this hick town."
"Well…I just started unpacking…" Rachel said unsurely, pulling her hair out of its messy bun and looking around frantically for a hair brush.
"You're home for two days, Berry," Puck laughed. "There's nothing to unpack. Come on; just pick me up. We'll go to the bean. I'll buy you one of your weird vegan lattes."
Rachel tensed up. She really didn't want to be the one to break the news to anyone. "We can't. It went out of business."
"Well, then pick me up so I can console you," He demanded unsympathetically.
Rachel looked back into the mirror, to evaluate the time it would take to look mildly presentable. "Give me twenty minutes."
Twenty minutes later, she was pulling her dad's car into the lot of the bus station, in skinny jeans and a baby-doll top, her hair combed, and her nose powdered. She didn't look as amazing as she would the next day, but at least she would still make an impression.
Noah practically chased down her car. He was pulling open the door before she had completely stopped.
"It's about time," He teased, tossing his single duffel-bag into the back seat. "What took you so long?"
"I told you twenty minutes," Rachel shrugged defensively. "It's not my fault that you have a misinformed concept of time."
"What are you even talking about?" Puck rolled his eyes. "That's the thing with you, Rachel. I never have any idea what you're talking about."
"What can I say? I like to keep people on their toes."
Noah gave her a genuine smile. In high school, it had been rare to get it out of him. It was more common for his smiles to appear simply evil; like he was plotting something. Rachel had always felt accomplished when he smiled at her for real, and there was nothing different about this time. She smiled back. For a moment, she felt the urge to jump the gun and kiss him, but she knew that immediate action would diminish the excitement of the following night's potential hook-up. For now, she had to take things slow.
"So, you said you would buy me a latte," She reminded him softly.
He shook his head dismissively. "Nah, I just wanted to relive old memories. If it's not Lima Bean, there's no point."
Rachel was glad that he felt that way. Over the phone, it had seemed like it didn't really matter to him if their high school hang-outs were still in business. "I know what you mean."
"Have you eaten yet?" He asked her. "We could do lunch at the Sticks."
Rachel grinned excitedly. "That would be perfect!"
"All right…!" He cried. "Hit the gas, Berry."
"So…how's school?" She asked him as they drove. She knew he had done a few years at the local Junior College and had since then moved on to Cleveland State.
"It's fine…" He told her boredly. "I finally declared my major: accounting. I'm friggen awesome at math so it only made sense. It's not nearly as interesting as what you're doing, though."
"Don't say that," Rachel replied awkwardly, secretly agreeing with him. "I'm just glad you found your niche."
"I read my News Feed, Rachel," He said non-acceptingly. "You were in 'Hairspray' last month, weren't you?"
"It was a college show. It barely counts." Rachel corrected him embarrassedly. "I was Penny. She's hardly even a lead. And Hairspray's barely a classic."
"Stop it," Puck ordered her. "Have a little pride."
"Not like Kurt…" Rachel said. "Did you read about him on your godly News Feed? He's selling out Romeo and Juliet off-Broadway. His Mercutio steals the show! All the reviews say so! He doesn't even have to show up to his classes anymore!"
"So, he got a break first," Puck shrugged. "You'll get yours."
"Blaine's years ahead of me too," She reasoned. "He just played Billy Crocker in Anything Goes!"
"Let me guess, Off Broadway?" Puck egged her on.
"Well, it was a summer production in Saugatuck, Michigan…" Rachel said. "But it's still a big deal. They take the arts very seriously up there. It's, like, the gay coast of Lake Michigan."
"Once again: no idea what you're talking about,"
"I'm just saying, don't be too impressed with me," Rachel warned him.
"Do you know what I do when I think about all the people from high school who are more successful than me?"
Rachel began to pull into the parking lot of Breadsticks. "No, what…?"
"Well, first, I remind myself that we haven't even graduated college yet, and that there's time to watch them fall on their asses as we pass them. And secondly, I look at people like Rick the Stick, who didn't even go to college, who we were better than from the very beginning. But finally, what I really have to do; I have to remind myself that life is a hell of a lot more fun when you stop comparing yourself to other people."
Rachel put her car in park and nodded thoughtfully. "Well, I'm in a very competitive industry. I sort of have to compare myself to other people."
Puck gave up. "Why are we even talking about this? I thought the point of this little rendezvous was to dwell on the past, not the present."
Rachel went to unbuckle her seat belt, suddenly self-conscious that she was just depressing him. "You're right. I promise for the rest of the day, I will talk about nothing but high school."
Puck undid his own seat belt and looked over at the restaurant. "Perfect." He said.
"Perfect," Rachel repeated.
They climbed out of the car and started toward the restaurant, both of them preparing themselves for a whole lot of nostalgia.