Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Fox

He was standing at the sink, his hands trembling as he ran the razor under the tap to wash the blood away. Something was wrong. It wasn't enough anymore.

For a couple of weeks, the red tracks those blades left on his skin were enough to soothe the pain, to remind him that he was being punished for his sins, to let him know that he was still capable of feeling pain.

He just made another seven cuts, but he needed something more. His chest was now home to fifty lines, some deeper than the others, some close to healing, others with a little blood and pus, but he was still alive.

Honestly, Kurt had no idea why he felt so desperate, or why he felt sad at all.

I have an amazing family and a wonderful boyfriend, so why?

There were no answers, and there was no one he could turn to.

For the first time in two and a half months, Kurt removed one of the three bottles he had been hiding in one of the compartments from under the sink.

Fate loved to play games, and frequently interrupted people's plans. The phone in his pocket started vibrating, startling Kurt and causing him to drop the bottle.

He stared at the fallen bottle for a moment as it rocked back and forth before coming to a complete stop.

His phone was still buzzing, and Kurt finally pulled it out and glanced at the screen.

Mercedes

"White Boy, you up for a little lady chat today?"

"Mercedes, it's…"

"Kurt? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Where do you want to meet?"

"Rachel and I will see you at your house in an hour."

"That's fine. And girl, your timing sucks."

"Did I interrupt some kind of make-out session? 'Cause if I did, I'm sorry, but I think you've gotten enough action."

"Oh, you wish."

Kurt was alone at home when Rachel and Mercedes arrived. Burt and Carole were called for work even though it was a Saturday, and Finn had gone over to Puck's place.

When the doorbell rang, Kurt placed the brush down on the vanity and lifted his shirt to look at the cuts.

Stop it. The girls are here. They can't figure anything out. No one can ever find out about this.

The doorbell rang again, and Kurt slowly made his way down the stairs from his bedroom that was on the second floor. This was it.

When he opened the door, he was greeted by the horrendous sight of a hideous purple knitted cardigan with a green pig embroidered in the middle.

"Rachel, what in the world-"

"I told you, Rachel. I told you that this would not be a good way to greet our boy. You've probably blinded him in addition to those bruises he has. Speaking of which, how are you Kurt?"

Mercedes stuck her head out from behind Rachel, side-eyeing whatever Rachel was wearing with disgust.

"Mercedes, one day you will learn to appreciate my love for animal sweaters. If you would give them a chance they'll grow on you and-"

"White boy, time to let us in before Berry decides to 'educate' us until day break."

Kurt stepped aside, allowing his closest girlfriends in.

Rachel placed a Tupperware box on the dining table and turned around to fix that ugly purple thing.

"Well, Kurt. I've de-"

"Excuse me?" Mercedes cut in.

"I'm sorry. Mercedes and I have decided to bake you a batch of 'get well' cookies. There are quite a few extras, so you can give some to Blaine as well."

Kurt nodded stiffly, not really knowing what to say. He had returned to school, but mostly stuck close to Blaine; the corridors still scared him.

"Thank you. Just…sit. I'll get us some drinks in…something that is not a plastic cup."

He hurried into the kitchen, randomly taking three ceramic mugs out and placing the coffee bag in the coffee brewer. Closing his eyes, he sighed. Since when did talking to his best friends become so tiring?

When the coffee was finally done, Kurt opened his eyes and placed the mugs on a tray. Grabbing the box of cookies on the way out, he carefully made his way over to his girlfriends who were seated in front of the television set.

The television screen was blank, and when Kurt reached over for the remote, Rachel placed her hand over his.

"No, no. Don't you remember? We're here for our lady-chat."

Kurt withdrew his hand and leaned back against the couch, sighing "I was under the impression that these lady-chats normally took place in my bedroom."

Mercedes gave his knee a gentle squeeze before standing up, holding her mug and taking the box of cookies as she made her way up the stairs. Rachel gave him a look he couldn't explain before taking her mug as well.

"Kurt? Is this…alright with you?"

Kurt looked at the stairway for a moment before returning her gaze. Standing up, he straightened himself.

"Yeah, it's alright."

Rachel nodded and reached out to take his mug in her hands, ignoring the puzzled expression on his face. Walking over to the stairs, she waited for a moment for Kurt to catch up with her. Both of them were silent for a moment, and if Santana was here she would probably say something along the line of "someone chewed on your pea coat, Hummel?" but the silence was not uncomfortable.

The door to his bedroom was open, and Mercedes had plopped herself down on his bed. Kurt pressed a hand over his eyes before letting it slide down his face. This was going to be a lot more difficult than he had anticipated. Hiding himself from the Glee club was one thing, but hiding from Mercedes and Rachel was practically asking him to solve the Beale Ciphers: Close to impossible.

"Come on, Kurt. We just wanted to talk. You know I'm not angry about the issue between Sam and Blaine anymore. I mean, I could have been more understanding towards Blaine's situation; both of us made mistakes," Mercedes gave a subtle plea as she patted the space beside her.

Sensing his vacillation, Rachel carefully looped an arm around his (she was still holding a mug in each hand) and led him to his bed.

Kurt leaned back against the headrest while Rachel and Mercedes snuggled at his side.

"How are you?" Rachel whispered, as if hesitant to break the silence.

"Everything is fine. Blaine has gotten a lot better. I mean, he may still be a little jumpy and have occasional nightmares, but I don't think he's afraid of-"

"White boy, how are you?"

Kurt paused, not really knowing what to say. How is he? Sure, he was a little scared of crowds and empty corridors, and would sometimes be plagued by dreams where he was too late to save Blaine, where he flashbacked to the night he saw his bleeding boyfriend slumped against the wall, but there was nothing unusual about that.

Yeah, but you still want to die.

He looked down at the two girls beside him and saw it bright as day: The fear that haunted them despite their efforts to hide it, despite their efforts to appear strong.

Come on, just tell them.

I can't.

"I'm okay. As long as Blaine is fine, I'm okay."

"Kurt…" Rachel trailed off. She wanted to press for more answers, but was terrified of scaring Kurt away.

"What about the assailants?"

Kurt gave Mercedes a grateful look and she returned it with an odd smile. Their friendship may have changed a little over the past few months, and to some the distance between them may appear wider than it used to be, but they still shared a special bond.

"They're on trial. There were no witnesses so it's going to take some time, but the security cameras took pretty clear images of their faces; there's nothing much to worry about."

Mercedes nodded and reached over to take a cookie. As she bit into one, her face scrunched up in disgust.

"Rachel, these are disgusting."

"Hey! It could be the batch of cookies you baked!"

"I swear that if I find any crumbs on my Laura Ashley bed linen, things will get ugly."

I would like to give a BIG thank you to colfermentalhead and suchagleekx for the reviews! This fic. will be four chapters long. If anyone is wondering why it's so short, it's because this is my very first fanfic and I wanted to see if anyone would like me to change my writing style and stuff or make any improvements. So yeah, if you have any tips do drop me a review, PM or message on Tumblr or Livejournal (same username). I'm currently working on a much longer fic.

Thank you for reading!