Tori's lying on her bed with a big smile on her face and staring up at the ceiling thinking about Jade and everything that she confessed to her. It was a good day, better than she expected, and the only way it could have been better was if her and Jade were to really kiss. An open mouth kiss, hot, warm, and wet and with tongue... She shakes her head and looks around to make sure no one can read her thoughts even though she was alone in her room. She closes her eyes and lets her mind drift far away where everything is good, where her and Jade are together and happy. But she's brought back to reality when a knock sounds at her door.
"Come in," she calls out, annoyed.
The door opens and she smiles widely, jumping from her bed and hugging her guest, "Andre!"
"Hey Tor, you seem happy." He smirks and she blushes.
"Uh, yeah," she laughs, "I kind of am."
"Let me guess... Jade confessed her feelings for you and it was more than you could ever imagine?"
She rolls her eyes but the smile on her face grows, "No... Oh my gosh, YES!" She sighs loudly and falls back on her bed, hugging herself.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Tell me what happened!" Andre exclaimed as he sat down next to her.
"Ok, well! I went to her house again after school and well, she was nervous, I could tell but I was really nervous too, so anyway, uhm." She quickly spits out.
Andre raises his hands and laughs, "Whoa, whoa! Slow down, muchacha. I don't understand a word coming out of you."
"Sorry! I'm just excited and I know I shouldn't because she could easily change her mind." She laughs sadly and shrugs her shoulders. Andre wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her in for a side hug.
"Push those negative thoughts away, Tori. Now tell me what she said."
She gives him a small smile and nods her head, "Ok. Uhm, well like I said, I went to her place, we were both nervous, and I almost had a panic attack but she coaxed me out of it by holding me and whispering encouraging words into my ear..." Her whole face is red and Andre can't help but smile adoringly at her.
"After that, we sat down and held hands. I started out by saying that I really liked her and she agreed then took over. She told me that she only really liked Beck and when I came around I changed that. She told me I have a gorgeous body and that I'm really talented and that I made her feel things before we even met... It was just so nice to hear and it made me feel really good." She sighs happily and closes her eyes, she leans in closer to Andre and asks, "How about that, huh?"
"I'm so happy for you, Tori. I never thought Jade would open up like that especially to someone she supposedly hated and that made her feel that way, but I mean... It's always either the quiet ones or the really mean ones." They both laugh at that and then fall into a comfortable silence.
"You can't tell anyone, Andre. Okay?"
She feels him nod against her head, "I know, Tori."
"Jade! Hi!" Cat squeals out causing Jade to pull the phone away from her ear.
"Jesus, Cat. Dial it down a bit." Jade says, not meaning for it to come out as sharp as it did.
"Sorry!" Cat giggles, "So tell me! What happened with you and Tori?"
Jade can't help but smile and rolls her eyes at how giddy she feels, "Well, I told her I like her and she told me she likes me back."
She holds out her phone as Cat lets out a loud squeal and she laughs when she hears Cat's phone fall and the over-hyper, red-headed girl bounce around her room. After a minute of that, she finally picks up her phone and pants, "I wanna know what she said, Jade!"
Jade groans but Cat can hear the smile and amusement in it, "Fine, well. She said it all started with her trying to get me to like her but since I didn't, she just tried harder and well, her feelings grew from just wanting to be friends to more... So, you know."
Cat giggles into the phone and sighs happily, "Oh, Jade! This is so great! I am so happy for you! And for Tori!"
"Yeah..." Jade says softly and Cat can tell that something's wrong with Jade.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Cat asks, sadness in her voice.
Jade sighs and rubs at her temples, "Beck."
"Oh..."
"Yeah."
"Is he still in Canada?"
"No. He texted me before I called you saying he's on his way back. So he should be back by tomorrow morning."
Cat frowns and her heart hurts for her friend, "Are you going to break up with him?"
"Well yeah, Cat!" Jade says a little harshly, "Sorry, I'm just... tired."
They're both silent, each thinking about what should be done and then Jade sighs, "He wants me to pick him up from the airport. I think I might bring it up then."
"Oh, Jade. I'm so sorry." Cat says, sadly. "I hope it goes well!"
"Ugh, yeah, me too. Well, I'm gonna go now. I'm tired as fuck." Jade says, tiredly.
"Jade! Don't curse!"
She laughs and apologizes, "Sorry."
"It's okay! Well, sleep well. And Jade?"
"Yeah?"
"It's going to be okay. With Beck, Tori... everything. Good night." Cat says softly before hanging up the phone.
Jade tosses her phone aside and lies back, sighing deeply and closing her eyes. She turns off her lamp and covers her entire body with her blanket, closing her eyes and willing herself to sleep. It's only 10:00pm but she's so tired and tomorrow was going to be a really long day.
RING, RING, RING!
Jade groans and grunts as she reaches blindly around her bed for her phone but she can't find it.
RING, RING, RING!
"Jesus Christ, I'm coming." She groans and rubs at her eyes, trying to clear her vision. "And it better not be you, Vega."
She sees her phone at the foot of her bed and she crawls over to it, glaring at it as it rings again.
RING, RI-
"What!" She growls into the phone.
"Hey babe, good morning to you too." It's Beck. Her heart falls, kind of disappointed that it isn't Tori.
"Oh, hey Beck." She says a little sadly and she hopes he can't hear it.
"Don't sound too happy to hear from me!" He says sarcastically and laughing.
She laughs too but it's forced, "Sorry, but you know that I don't like to be woken up."
"I know and I'm sorry but I should be landing in about 30 minutes and I was just making sure you're still able to pick me up?" Crap, she forgot.
"Yeah, yeah. Of course, uhm, thanks for reminding me." She really doesn't want to pick him up.
"You're welcome," She can hear a smile in his voice, "I'll see you soon, babe."
"Yeah, see you." And she hangs up. She falls back and covers her eyes with her arm, groaning in frustration and she's still tired as fuck.
She gets off her bed and picks up a pair of black jeans on her floor and puts them on, not caring if they're clean or not. She grabs a teal shirt off of her chair and puts it on, reaching for a brush and quickly combing her hair, freeing the tangles.
She grabs her keys, her wallet, a jacket and heads outside where it's raining and cold.
"What a perfect day," she grumbles.
She gets in her car, connects her iPod to her car dock, highers the volume 'til she can't hear anything else especially her thoughts and she lets the music consume her as she makes her way to the airport.
Jade's sitting on a bench, against the window and near Beck's exit, with her eyes closed but they jolt open when she feels a body next to her. There's Beck, sitting next to her with messy hair, tired eyes and a warm smile.
"Hey," he says softly, leaning in and kissing her lightly on the cheek.
She can't help but smile, "Hey."
They're just sitting there, staring at each other in a busy airport but they don't even notice everyone and everything around them. They're lost in their little world and it's comfortable but Jade looks away, knowing this isn't right; it just doesn't feel right.
"How was your flight?" She asks, hoping to escape these overwhelming feelings.
"It was good. Long, but good." He smiles and kisses her again, this time on her lips.
They're rough and cold, tasting of mint. She pulls away and fakes a cough, "Sorry, uhm, my throat is dry."
He nods his head, "It's okay. Let's go, yeah?"
He grabs her hand and they walk through the airport, and out to her car.
She hates feeling like this, like something is gnawing at her heart and making her hurt and feel bad. She hates feeling anything than what she allows herself to feel but this guilt she's feeling is too strong, too powerful and it's making her hands clammy, and not in a good way. She knows what she has to do, she has to tell him the truth, how she doesn't feel what she once had for him, and how Tori took his place... but not like that.
"Jade? Hello, earth to Jade!" Beck's waving his hand in front of her face and he looks a little worried. "Jade, you there? Everything okay?"
Jade takes a step back and shakes her body, trying to clear everything out of her but it doesn't work, so she just nods her head and gives him a fake smile, "Yeah, sure. Just blanked out."
"Yeah, I see that." Beck places a hand on her shoulder, giving it a little squeeze, "Want me to drive? You seem out of it."
She nods and hands him the keys and they get in when he unlocks it. They sit in silence for a moment before he turns on the car and pulls out of the busy parking lot. Even if it's early in the morning, the place is always packed and busy and it drives her fucking crazy.
They finally make it out of the airport and are driving down the freeway, The Civil Wars playing softly through the speakers, making the atmosphere of the car quiet and relaxed. It's putting her to sleep but she fights it off because the pounding in her head keeps reminding her that she has to talk to Beck.
She doesn't know of a day where there's no LA traffic and it feels exceptionally worse that very morning, with everyone going to work or wherever. They've stopped moving and by the looks of it, they're going to be there for awhile. She lowers the music and turns to face him.
"Beck?" He glances at her before moving the car forward a bit.
"What's up?" Her brows furrow and she feels nervous. God, she hates this.
"I need to talk to you about something." Now it's his turn to furrow his brows.
"About what...?" Her hands are fidgeting on her lap and it's now or never.
She chooses later because traffic is moving and so are they.
"It could wait." She does a 180 turn and is now facing the window, watching the cars pass by.
"Are you sure? You seem like you have a lot on your mind."
And that's what she hates about him. He knows her. He knows when something's wrong, when she's worried or happy or what the fuck ever and it bugs her beyond belief. But she's also glad because it saves her from opening up.
"I'm sure."
And it's quiet the entire way home. The only noise surrounding them is coming from the cars around them.
She's Jade fucking West. She does whatever the hell she wants and doesn't really have to think twice about doing what she does. She just does them and that's that. She doesn't know why this is any different. Sure, she's thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend of two years; the only person who has stuck with her through thick and thin; her rock. Who is she kidding? She loves him to death and she always wants him in his life and she hopes she can do this and that it'll end on good terms. God, she hopes they can be friends after this.
She's brought out of her thoughts when her phone vibrates, a text from Tori.
Hey Jade, is it okay if I text you? Cat mentioned that you were picking Beck up today, hope everything is going well. Wish you were here...
She's smiling at her phone, her heart is beating fast and she can feel her face heat up. She's about to text back but Beck interrupts her.
"Why are you smiling?" She freezes.
"Oh, uhm. Cat- she, uh, texted me and it- it's, you know, Cat."
He eyes her curiously but just nods his head, "Right... Cat."
She sends a quick reply to Tori.
It's okay, just don't get used to it. ;-) we're in the car now, almost home. Trying to gather up courage but I can't and I feel like I'm dying.
He pulls off the freeway and drives until they find an IHOP, "Hungry?"
"Starving." She says, it's not or never.
They walk inside and they wait to be seated. Beck grabs her hand and intertwines their fingers, smiling at her before pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"Gonna talk now?"
"Yeah."
"Good."
A waitress calls their name and takes them to their seats and then takes their drink orders.
"Orange juice, please. And she'll have coffee." Beck orders for her. The waitress leaves and he brings his eyes to Jade's, his face showing his curiosity.
"So, what did you want to talk to me about?"
It's now or never,Jade. She thinks to herself.
"About us." She says as confidently as she can, but she falters.
"Oh," is all he says and it's quiet.
The waitress returns with their drinks, "Are you two ready to order?"
They tell her what they want and she leaves, leaving them alone again and it's still silent.
"What about us?" He finally asks, after what feels like forever.
Their meals come. She can't do this, but she has to. She can't stay with him when her feelings have changed. She can't lead him on and keep him in this relationship when it's only one sided.
5 minutes have passed and neither of them have said or ate anything. She can tell he's growing impatient and even more worried and she's just feeling more frustrated and sad. She hates this.
He calls the waitress over and asks for two boxes for their meals and for the check. She's confused because they just got there and haven't even touched their food but she obliges. She comes back with the boxes and check and takes Beck's card to charge them.
"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?" He whispers, sadly. She tenses at his words and she refuses to look at him, in fear that she'll lose it and break down. Why does this have to be so hard?
The waitress comes back with his credit and receipt. He takes down and thanks her. He's standing down and looking down at her. She hasn't moved.
"You're not doing it like this. So when you grow some balls, call me. We'll talk then." He spits out angrily, and he walks out of IHOP alone.
She's shocked that he spoke to her like that and she stop the hot, angry tears falling from her eyes. It was not suppose to go like this. She was just suppose to explain herself, explain the change in her feelings, explain how she's always had feelings for Tori, and explain how she still loves him, that she'll always love him and that he'll always have a place in her heart. But she couldn't fucking open her mouth and just say all that. No, she just sat there like a little, scared bitch and hurt him before anything could be said. God, she really fucking hates this.
She pulls out her phone and sends a quick text to Tori.
I'm at IHOP near Andre's place. Beck left me here, can you come get me?
She doesn't have to wait even a minute before she gets a reply.
I'm on my way.
"Jade? Are you okay?" Tori slips in to the seat in front of her, where Beck sat.
All she could do is nod her head because she knows that if she opens her mouth, a whole bunch of profanity, anger, sadness, and crap is going to come out.
"Come on, let's go." Tori's at her side now and her hand is on Jade's shoulder, trying to squeeze comfort into her. Jade stands and follows Tori out to her car.
"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Tori asks once they're in the car. She shakes her head.
"Okay, whenever you're ready. I'll just take you home."
They're driving in silence, a comfortable silence and Jade's grateful for that. All she wants is to be alone and sleep her life away.
"We're here. Want any company?" Tori asks, not sounding to sound desperate but she does.
"No. I just really want to be alone right now." Tori tries her best to hide the hurt that feels but she fails to do so and Jade sees it.
"It's not you, okay? I'm just really tired and I have a damn headache and... ugh, everything is a fucking mess." Tori just simply nods her head.
"Thanks for the ride. Really, thank you. I'll talk to you later." Jade's halfway out the door but she quickly gets back in and kisses Tori softly on the cheek. She gives her a small smile and exits the car.
Tori watches her walk up her driveway and into her house. She's so confused but she knows she has to give Jade time. Time and room, but all she wants to do is hold Jade and tell her everything is going to be okay.
She pulls out of Jade's driveway and heads home. It's not even worth going back to school now.
Tori's home now, and she's tired and it feels like she's getting a migraine and everything is just crap. Yesterday was such a good day and she knew that she shouldn't have gotten her hopes up so soon, but it's not her fault, she couldn't help it. She hasn't felt something this strong since, well, never, and it's scary. It's scarier now since the object of her affection knows how she feels and it's just crazy. It's all so crazy.
She groans loudly and falls face down on to her bed. All she wants is to be alone and sleep her life away, but no, not right now because her phone vibrates.
Her heart picks up when she sees that it's a text from Jade.
Vega, I'm sorry. Everything went to shit with Beck and I barely even said anything. Thanks again, though. See you tomorrow?
That question mark makes the butterflies in her stomach flutter so crazily, it feels like there's a hurricane in her stomach. She smiles. Everything's going to be okay.
No worries, Jade. I understand, I'm here if you need anything. And of course, I'll see you tomorrow.
She smiles and puts her phone aside after checking the time. It's only 2 in the afternoon and Trina will be home in a couple of hours so she decides to take a nap. She's just going to sleep everything away and hopefully when she wakes up, all will be well.
Jade smiles at Tori's text and puts her phone aside. She was right about today being a long day and she just wants it to be over. She lies on her stomach and cradles her pillow, easily falling asleep. The last thought in her head is of Tori so she knows she'll be dreaming of her.
A/N: SO, ok. I don't even remember what I wrote so I hope it flows and stuff.
Also, I do remember writing a lot of fucks and stuff. Yay for bad words, hahaha. I wasn't in the best of moods, anyway!
I wrote a portion of this with one hand - my left hand which I can hardly do anything with - so if there are any mistakes, blame my left hand.
I know it's been kind of slow but once Jade dumps Beck, it's going to be going faster. :-)
And I've gotten some nice reviews! Thank you so much for reviewing and favoriting and reading, ugh. It's nice. :-)
SO REVIEW! Tell me if you liked it, if you didn't, what you did today, if your heart hurts, or what you're having for dinner. Whatever you'd like, it's all appreciated!
P.S. ;-) I started on something else, it's kind of dark and intense, and well, I might be doing something with that. Just a heads up.