AN: Thank you for the reviews XD I'm glad people liked it. I don't have the internet right now… D: So I really don't know Kuwabara's friends name (and I don't want to get them wrong either) But I will write them in this fic, friends are important, you know?
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Chapter 2: Things That Just Don't Go As Plan While The Good Weather Fools You
"Urgghh-… Co-mm-e ON! Daaaam—mmnIT!" He groaned out as he lash out a yell of complaint. With his sword arm stretched out as his other arm held right below the wrist, try as he might he simply just couldn't call it out and it had been over five hours since he started. He was sitting in his backyard as the wall that bordered up the houses was a nice place to practice like he did while Yusuke was (for the first time) practicing with Genkai.
Kazuma simply didn't think that it would be this long, after all, it was his spirit energy and he had it longer than he knew. Yet no matter what he did, he plainly couldn't summon it and this had been the second week so he was trying even harder.
He only notice five days ago, what he believed to be spirit awareness was merely his own gut instinct. After the last spirit mission, small of a task it was, he hadn't seen Hiei again and Kurama had no 'real' idea that he was partially being stalked by his old ally. Kurama believed it was 'partial' site seeing in Hiei's case but he believed differently. The punk could be anywhere and one wouldn't be any the wiser. It was creepy… but then again… maybe they all were a bit creepy. Yusuke lack humanized normal morality and accepted and did all things equally, Kurama was obsessive with plants and Hiei was just Hiei and that was the perfect explanation for some-one like that.
He semi fell and sat down, grumbling relentlessly, all the reason of why he just didn't fit in seem to keep reoccurring in a vicious cycle. He was the weakest of the group: Yusuke being the strongest while the demons were naturally talented. Yusuke and him were the only humans… yet Yusuke was on a completely different level all the time.
The sliding window door was heard in the background, turning his head he found Shizuru smoking with a bored look "So… why are you so down? It's like you have a cold: if you force yourself you'll only get sicker, if you calm down and rest then surely you'll get better. I guess the same could be said about spirit power."
His sister was always strangely perceptive, for her moody easily angered self, it always been the thing that made their relationship work. Whenever he fell down, she pull him back up and advise him of what he did wrong or how to prevent him from doing wrong. For a perceptive person, she always seem lonely, especially as she talked to him once in every while. He could only sigh in regret, Shizuru didn't fight nor was she always being compared to her allies, though not a doubt in his mind knew she was right.
"But you just don't understand, sis." He lifted his head to the blue clear skies before dropping his head on his left hand. "It isn't as you're in my place."
"That may be true… but I'm not wrong. While we have this peace, let us rest our souls, okay? Also… you still have to enter into high school, the exams won't be far out these days. Rest up, have fun then get back on your ass and work." Those were her final words as she walked into their house leaving the door open.
The rest of the day was quite calm as he went out for a stroll. Walking across the neighborhood, many of punks walked passed him, keeping a glare none of the fools even thought of attacking him. Even if he lost his spirit power, every human who saw his eyes in a glare was distant and easily worried, they sense something beyond that 'normal' humans had. It was nice feeling king, yet Yukina had left once more only two days ago and he couldn't let it go. He loved her and she gave him a sense of reason for his own existence. She asked nothing of him, expected nothing from him and respected him… but she went home, wherever it would be, nevertheless not finding her brother, wherever he would be.
Going not so far from his neighborhood, between the city and town avenue, he kicked a bit here and there some empty abandon cans.
He had no idea what he should be doing, he wasn't a fighting manic like Yusuke and Hiei nor was he bigger than life Kurama or a leader like Koenma. Losing his spirit power was frightening and disturbing, his importance in life seem to diminishes every time he thought he was going somewhere, but the first time in his life it had diminish right in front of him and it was a hurting thought.
Concentrating on school was his only option for the moment and finally realizing that even his poor excuse of a life meant something more than living for the sake of living it. For now all he should worry about was going to high school, if he didn't make it there the first time, it would only get harder. It wasn't as-if he never tried, but more than ever, had he understood his crappy life was crappy since he was doing an half-ass way of living it. Yukina was gone and he was still here in a life that certainly would never change, not even once, his spirit detective life was only meant for the strongest and he wasn't the sidekick of anybody, he be damned if he let himself be called a sidekick. Although if he had to actually worry about some-one: it was Yusuke, he'd been more distant than usual and very crabby at that.
He was tempted just like Yusuke to do nothing at all, watching stupid stuff, doing stupid things and having fun at that. Yusuke, on the other hand, while he did it, he was never satisfied and complaining about it too and if he wasn't complaining, Kazuma just couldn't understand what that boy was thinking.
Continuing his mindless walk, passing into the city center to McDonalds which was next to another huge mall Senfint, passing people to people only to hear a similar voice: "Kazuma!"
Turning his head, he saw a familiar red head that couldn't be mistaken for anything in the world, Kurama who was wearing one of his many casual Chinese styled clothing. It was a mix of white with green and purple, finishing off with a red stash around his waist. Kazuma never understood why Kurama was dressed as the Chinese, maybe because he use to have martial arts class as a child or something. Then again Yoko Kurama, wore a mix of Greek and Chinese styled clothing. With that thought in mind, before he knew it, Kurama was already in front of him.
"What are you thinking about, Kazuma?"
"Ehehe-…" He was caught in surprise as he finally arisen from his thoughts, he could only laugh nervously before finding some words "Nothing in particular… so what are you doing in this place, Kurama?"
Sipping from the straw of his large plastic cup from McDonalds, Kurama answered with a casual tone not to mention the vocabulary, which was odd in itself "The usual… I'm trying to find some sells, to buy some presents for my cousins, my father's brother's family is an American bunch who live in China, the son of that family is a gothic boy but his personality doesn't fit his style, so I'm quite confuse what to buy him. He's a genius… but he not a least bit interested in the technology I could buy him, he never out right complains but he's so easily annoying."
Kazuma was caught in a crossfire as Kurama continued his discussion between him and himself.
"Every time I do that or this, there's always something wrong. Not that I didn't get him something good, it's the simple fact he can make it himself, he doesn't care for cultural gifts either, so the last resort is clothing, I suppose. But I hold no understanding of gothic design, it all seems the same, unless you count the brands. All my other family members are quite easily understandable… but it also seems I should have to buy gifts for my step-father's family as well and truth be told I'm out of allowance, so it's getting quite hard to please just about everybody." Kurama stop only to take another sip of his drink and he didn't stop talking for nearly half an hour.
In the middle of the mall, on the second floor, Kurama turned to him with a blank look at his expression. He just couldn't take all of Kurama's ranting… he was hearing the modern-history of Gothic style, his cousin of the Spicer family. He heard more than he ever would want to. His brain was going to explode by the force of overdrive of information Kurama gave to him.
"Is there something the matter?" The boy said as-if he wasn't the cause of the problem.
Kazuma shook his head, his voice was weak in disbelief "No… I just didn't know you could talk so much. It's almost scary."
Turning his head he saw Kurama's conical expression "HmmHmm… so did I annoy you?"
His voice was even colder, was he annoyed?
Kazuma started laughing, loudly as well, making people in the mall looking at him like he was demented. "No! NO! IT'S Nothing like that! Hahahahaha! It's just rare."
It was full of crap, but there was something scary in Kurama's attitude, he hoped the humanized demon wasn't going to suddenly make him explode. It was a fact no-one ever knew what Kurama would do and if he did something: it wasn't always like it seemed. Kurama's expression lightened, it didn't seem like he believed Kazuma's words.
"Sorry, I suppose I let myself go too much. I shouldn't get mad." His apologizing only made Kazuma feel quite badly. There's was nothing bad about letting yourself go… yet what was the lesser evil? Listening to something that you didn't want or care to listen to or forcing some-one to shut themselves inside of themselves? He was getting a bad feeling, like either choices would be bad for him, but being a friend meant listening to your friends even if they were annoying as hell.
"There's no need to apologize… ehehe… I doubt Hiei listen to this, much less Yusuke, ehehe… all there's left is me, huh?" His words were meant to be considerate but they slowly started to sound like condescending thoughts upon himself.
"Don't make it sound like that. Yusuke is just as trustworthy as you. Hiei and I are not part of some brotherhood, we are just equally friends just as you and I. You are not leftovers… and it's pitiful to hear you sound so down. Is it because of your temporary lost of spirit power? You have no disability, so it will surely come back." Kurama was always better in encouraging people, passing one of the many clothing shops, they arrived to a more darken lighted room and design, now he felt like he was being listen to.
Scratching his head, he could only sigh "I don't know man… it's been two weeks and now I'm starting to worry."
"Not to mention Yukina left once more." Kurama interjected with no softness at all. He hit the center of Kazuma's spiral of problems. It was just creepy how that guy was always right no matter what.
He couldn't admit it to Kurama, save for the fact his body already became rigid by that circumstance, he straighten his expression from keeping himself to acknowledge such facts. Stumbling here and there, he said "That's—That's not true! IT'S NOT TRUE AT ALL!"
So much for an argument.
"Anyway… yeah… my powers hadn't return and I'm starting to worry."
"Why don't you go to Genkai then?"
"I've been thinking about that, my sis, though, told me to simply relax for the while and it should probably come back. I mean I shouldn't get all worked up, but if the world was to end tomorrow, I should be ready, no? Yeah! I should be!" Kazuma's feelings rush through him as his smiled return with a pumped fist and an imagination of him being the hero for once.
Kurama's smiled happily as he continued to sip his drink. Responding with a typical of his cheery tones "Well… one can always dream, but Yusuke has always been two steps ahead of us, one day we may reach his level and then that would be nice."
Then they continued to the furthest part of the shop, seeing the weirdest type of clothing, he couldn't see the point of its style nor did the fox seemingly. "These designs seem to be made of some taste, for cousin dearest, hm?" It was just a hollow joke made for the sense of the moment: chains, black, leather everywhere they look that's all they see. It seem Kurama didn't like these personal meetings or he simply didn't like his cousin's picky taste.
"As strange as it may seem, the boy has a bright personality like you, a bit of a Human kind hater. He has a faulty type of trust issue though, he can create objects, powerful man could ever believe in. The thing is though, he has no interest to the world outside… I've talked to him and all he seemingly wish for is a friend. Easier said than done type of problem. But he's the person that doesn't take the first step into the full potential… he puts his toes into the water and pulls them right our instead of getting use of the temperature." His words were kind and affectionate as his eyes seem to look far beyond what it was looking at.
"You seem to really like this cousin of yours, I thought it was only your mom, man." Kazuma was surprise. It wasn't that fact that Kurama cared it was the fact that he cared for another human relative to the same height as his 'mother'.
Kurama chuckled as he slightly hid his expression with his closed hand "Maybe so. But it shouldn't be that odd of a thing, I care for all humans or at least most."
" 'You care' is more like saying you want to dive in the shallow part of a beach, while 'loving and caring' for somebody means you'll even jump a risk like the 7th floor balcony into the pool outside. Like I've never heard you care so much, actually I don't hear you talk about anybody much other the people in our group. You know?"
Titling his head, he responded with a hesitated tone "That isn't so… I do care. My cousin is a bit shallow but he has great potential and when he's the most honest, with himself, and I… I know for sure he could become great. I look at him and I see myself when I was a naive fool, hoping only to escape from such a bothersome world which in the end was actually quite beautiful, I'd only distorted me view on a life I once had and didn't bother to live in a present that was honestly my existences."
Kurama's expression darkened, as one of the sweaters he was looking at, feeling at it, his grip tighten as his lips thinned. As-if he was angry with somebody, or seeing something horrifying and Kazuma couldn't decide what to do as he could only listen to the humanized demon.
"I-… I hated this world. I— thought it be better if everybody would just die… all my life was pathetic thought up as such. But yet when I realized how much this world meant to me, I couldn't help but become conscious that I was the fool as my 'mother' was on her deathbed was truly my mother and could be nothing else. I thought of dying for her and I met Yusuke, another human to show my prejudice could easily be amiss and, of course, you. I lived thanks to him and I owe him my life, I owe my mother a better life and… I— I— Hhee.. ehehe.. whahaa— I… just hated myself when I realize the tricky fox was actually a foolish being. Demons do not care at all for the meaning of family… so I never knew what it was like until her, almost, final moments."
He put his shoulder onto his friend, giving a grip of his empathy, Kazuma would not let him say such stupid things "Don't be stupid, you already made up for it, no? You should be fine from here on out. Let's buy your stupid cousin his stupid gift! And let's get something to eat I'm starving!"
Kurama didn't respond, as they continue to look for something decent, unluckily for them though the best gift they could find wasn't on for sell and cost: 8.957 yen. Scary as hell… considering the priced but the fact Kurama could buy such pricey gifts. Kazuma could only dream to get a shirt like that on only special occasions, started to wonder on how much was 'little' in Kurama's point of view of the economic system. Then again he did come from a pricey family. Finally with the present at hand they went to the six floor were most of the restaurants were, sitting in a two seated table they order some typical American food.
The rest of the event was silent, Kurama was in one of his dreary moods, it honestly look like it wouldn't get better. So they ate, it wasn't all that awkward as it seemed as eating didn't require talking, but after finishing their meal as they order coffee, the silence overlapped them into a sphere of awkwardness.
Kurama's expression was distant as he leaned on his chair, sitting in an improper way, not caring all that much. It seem what he had reveled was much more than he intended to let anybody know, unless Hiei already knew, which that too wasn't all that surprising. Finally taking the last sip of coffee, Kurama spoke once more except his tone was condescending "Do you know what people do not know about cockroaches?"
"No…" Not like he was bug lover either.
"They say they would survive an atomic bomb and nuclear waste. Many know these bugs will eat trash and sweets. But cockroaches will not survive everything, even the nuclear waste and if they must, they shall eat anything, they are cannibals to their own kind simply to survive. Hunger, fear, pain and panic will make anything change whether we want to or not: self-control can only go so far and I thought humans were exactly the same as those roaches. Humans will do all and anything, something that Hiei believes in as well."
He watched as Kurama's dark expression return once more as he continue his discussion, a discussion that Kazuma had no idea where it was suppose to lead to.
"But if I saw roaches in humans, was I any different from them, as humans easily hate one another, blaming one another for the misfortune place upon themselves. Demons live in chaos, because that chaos fits us, to live as the strongest means a lot, to live as a king is even better but us A-class demons know even if we reach S-class, it will not change if we cannot beat a kind or gain powers to become a third or fourth king, you know?" No he didn't but he listen anyway. Kurama smirked a cruel smirk as he sound like he was mocking "Hiei came to me and I obliged, only for the state I was already at, I knew I could only do so much. If I hadn't cared for her, I would of killed him the second I got… Kazuma, my friendship with Hiei is merely for convenience's sake or 'was'… I'm not sure anymore. Not like he ever called us friends, so I won't do the same for him too."
He couldn't stand what Kurama was saying, it was bitter and there was nothing sweet in his words, whatever enlightenment Kurama made in the last hour wasn't a pleasant one. But if he interrupted, he was sure something would go wrong and he didn't even need his spirit awareness for such an obvious thing.
"In the end it all conclude to the same thing… convenience's sake. People only live to use and to be used, there does not exist a human who do things unselfishly for the sake of selflessness. Demons do not pretend to be high and mighty beings, they are honest in their own way even if it does seem cruel. There an old saying: 'Kindness is one of the greatest cruelties'. Like the antonym: 'Cruel to be kind'. These could also be consider rules for all dimensions… honesty in itself is quite destructive, lying ends up being something necessary for people to be able to live with themselves, whether it's a human or a demon…"
Kurama sat silently with his index finger rubbing the side of his temple as he seem to be at a loss of words and deep in thought, Kazuma merely sat quietly awaiting if his friend had more pessimistic words to say.
After five minute, he was sure it was alright to speak up "I think you're over thinking things a bit. Sure selflessness in itself may be impossible… but just because it is doesn't mean those deeds should be look at badly. If you're always thinking like that you're always going to be unhappy… just calm down and be stupid. Thinking can only go so far, if you don't relax, I'm sure you're going to find a hundred excuse on why you can't love or protect anyone anymore."
Kurama didn't respond immediately but lifting his head up, he let out a small smile, with a voice Kazuma was all too familiar with: his fake sincerity "I suppose you're right. I should go now."
All he could see was his friend's back, after Kurama put down some yen on the table, leaving himself alone only to wonder if his thoughts meant anything to the humanized demon. He could no longer see Kurama as he was disperse into the ocean of people. It was pitiful and his very bad, no-good day became only worse as-if he had failed a friend in need. Getting up, taking Kurama's money, he went to the register to pay before leaving the mall himself. He left himself get immersed into the ocean of people until finding an exit back home.
It was dinner time, as he had already set everything into motion, his sister was to arrive in ten minutes of time, with that he placed the food where it belong as it was still steaming hot.
"Oh well… look who it is, did today really turn out that bad? Home gourmet… this quality is always nice to eat but the reason are always of some type of broken heart." His sister voice came through the front door as she was lazily sitting down across from him looking at their stew mix with sushi, which on rare occasions was on discount, and a side of miso soup. He could only look at her in surprise, letting that surprise go however, he simply grunted and started to pick out his favorite pieces of food before it was all taken out.
"So… I'm dead on. This had to be like the fifth time if we do the counting." She started as she mockingly counting all her ten finger by five times. He simply continued to eat his food as she started once more on the first time "The time mom came home tired -…- When you first got rejected-… the thirteenth time you got rejected by Rika Misan…"
"WOULD YOU STOP IT ALREADY! I GET IT! I GET IT! Geez… yeah today was pretty bad, so what? We have an awesome dinner so such up already!" He outburst as he couldn't stand any more heartbroken memories. Shizuru only raised a brow before returning to their meal. The silence returned, sardonically mocking him, his sister knew him far too well and even this silence was forcing him to face her.
But with deep determination, the warrior of love: Kazuma Kuwabara would not admit defeat as he gulped down his food while he bravely ignored her.
Seeing such a scene, Shizuru merely grave a shrug in response, finishing her side dish calmly. They continue in silence even after they ate, with the television on the background music became the news, like rushing water that came out of the sink as he cleaned up the dishes. Ekichi mewed here and there before rubbing himself on Kazuma's ankle as he purred, which made Kazuma feel in total bliss, dying just to hold and hug his loveable cat.
He didn't, however, for the simple diligence of cleaning that had to be done. All the housework was his to do, mostly since his mother and sister work most of the time, it seem reasonable enough but at times it seem more like an excuse to him than anything else. Understanding his feline friend's need, he put Ekichi's cat food into his bowl and fresh new water, in reward he was given a chance to pet his lovely pet. Ekichi was a social type of cat, despite what the stereotype cat was described to be… Ekichi was loveable then again he hated the stereotype of cats. They were just as amazing pets just like dogs, people just didn't give them enough credit.
Suddenly the house became quiet, Shizuru had muted the TV and turned to him with her melancholic look, another cigarette was lighted in her mouth as the smoke rise to the ceiling top.
"So… are you going to tell me or do I have to beat it out of you?"
It was her way of saying 'I love you and trust me', though she wasn't lying about kicking the living shit out of him, he knew very well were she got that trait from. In the end even if it got physical it wasn't cruel as abuse, it was simple matter-of-fact sibling-type love or rivalry only they weren't rivals in their household.
"I dun want to ta'k abou' it. I'm going to bed." He said in his own distain as he passed her, momentarily blocking the view of the television, as he went upstairs the noise of the news returned once more.
Yusuke the next day was a no-show, of course he was using the excuse of their last mission which was nothing compared to their days in the dark tournament. He was probably watching some TV or sleeping in, Kazuma for the matter-of-fact was walking with a really pissed off Keiko, she didn't complain… not yet and they weren't exactly close anyway. But she would complain and he would be the only one who would have to listen.
Probably because all her other friends look condescendingly at Yusuke like the rest of the world, so he could understand why he would have to be the girl's listener and momentarily close friend.
But she didn't talk to him, her crossed expression was the whole explanation, deep in her eyes reflected something else yet not really noticeable, unless you really look down. The entered the school, not a single word said, they parted as they entered in their divided world of friends and status once more.
His friends suggested they go to an avenue tomorrow afternoon, to take down one of the many punks that took an advantage of his whole week of 'no-fighting-policy', fucking pricks. It sounded fun to get revenge, up till now, when he looked back in his battles and the people who fought purely for revenge made him only sick in the stomach. If he did it, he could get more territory and be well known like Urameshi. If he did it, he be no different than those Black Black Club freaks and that made him even more sicker.
School had ended quite quickly, the world around him was changing in the same pace but have a daily life once more was taking a lifetime.
He walked alone, a street that took him home a bit longer, only to stop at a red light, across the crossroad was the captivating emerald green eyes and an uniform that could only belong to the one in the northern streets. With a blink, recognition appear on Kurama's face as he gave a timid smile, the green light shone and Kurama walked towards him only to stop five inches from him.
"K-Kurama? What are you doing here…? Aren't you suppose to do some extra school activities as always?" He spoke in surprise since Kurama's second housing was the multiple afterschool clubs, though he only did it for more extra credit.
Kurama's straightforward expression disperse as he put his head down, his eyes looking at the distant of their feet. His voice arisen with his usual tone of normality that came with their missions "I rather we go out to some place to chat… Unless you're busy."
Ending with that Kurama's head arose, he turned it to the left not bothering to look Kazuma in the eyes, scratching his right cheek. He seem to be shying away, giving an act of relaxed that was pretty convincing yet it didn't add up.
"Sure… the park shouldn't be far from here. Unless you want to go another café." He directed to the left.
Nervously laughing, he responded "I rather not… the outside is good for us anyway."
Kazuma merely shrugged, taking a walk down to the east, it wasn't that long at all. Kurama coming all the way down from his school was impressive, but the direction of his arrival wasn't fitting to the map. That what made him even more curious, maybe the mother's boy had an errand to run and he only had two good guesses: Spirit World or Mother's request.
They walked across the park's scenery, filled with endless green as the summer's radiances showed itself quite completely, children running around in circles, mothers watching their children carefully and once every while a couple of the modern times or older generation were to be seen. A routine sight, nothing at all that strange, as the strangest thing was right by his side: a shy Kurama who was even more closer than usual. They walked, no words could be said and if there were words to be said, he simply didn't know as his friend was just content to walk beside one another. The sun was still high, the life around them was active as ever and he felt to be the only one out of the loop of why all the strangest were happening now.
"Umm…" Kurama finally open his mouth with a visible timidity that didn't fit his personality. "I don't know how to apologize for my outburst of yesterday. I was just being self-hateful… I'm sorry you had to see such a weak side."
Turning his head, his friend's expression turn gloomy as he finished his words, like guilt had ripped Kurama apart, though that no reason to be true.
"You shouldn't apologize, it isn't like you insulted me or anythin'. Don't tell me your down because something as insignificant as that."
The response from his friend was flickering of eyes that blinked once, turned left, return forward before turning: right, right, forward, right, left and left. Kurama would not face him, it just didn't match up to the person he knew Kurama to be, why was there such a dramatic change? Kazuma let out a heavy sigh, his head falling down with his shoulders, closing his eyes for the moment and when he opened them, Kurama had stopped walking and beside him was merely the dust. Turning to face him, Kurama's eyes became determined and he mouthed out a couple of words.
Kazuma couldn't believe his ears.
He just couldn't…. Because surely… it was all just a strange dream.
The wind blew to the south, leaves flew down as children parallel from them ran chase energetically as the color of blue and green turned red and black as Kazuma's eyes widen in realization.