Disclaimer: Do not own any of the BTR boys or company.
Pairings: Kogan/Jarlos
Warnings: Swearing/boy x boy.
Note: So...the Jarlos chapter. Enjoy!
James frowned at his reflection, putting down the hand held mirror with a sigh.
Even though the sun was shinning with a perfect early afternoon light that made his hair shine. Even though the temperature was warm but not overly hot so he didn't sweat. Even though he could tell those long hours at the gym were definitely noticeable in his sleeveless tanks.
James was not happy.
He sighed again as he laid back on the pool chair. That sigh forming into a pout on his pretty mouth. The pool was full with friends and occupants of the Palm Woods...except one.
A certain little Latino boy.
Hence the sighing...and pout.
"Are you still pouting because Carlos is gone today?" A voice to his left chided him. James slid his eyes over to regard the figure standing beside him. He looked up...and up...and up...
"Whatever Kendall. You have no right to talk. Remember when Logan had to go to that overnight lecture on macro...something or other...and you put a sweater vest on his pillow to sleep with it that night?" James let out a snort, "Puh-lease."
Kendall rolled his eyes as he sat on the chair next to James. "Fine. But at least your boyfriend should be back soon..."
Lifting up an arm, James checked his watch, "It was supposed to be thirteen minutes and forty two seconds ago."
Letting out a chuckle as he slid on a pair of sunglasses, Kendall answered, "Well I'm sure they're going to run late. Carlos hasn't seen his dad in a while, and you know how close they are." He shifted a bit so he was lying on the chair, intent on taking a nap.
"I know...but I miss him! I want him back here...now!" And with that James crossed his arms...pouting again. Carlos's father had come to L.A. to attend a Law Enforcement conference. He skipped a day so he could visit his son, taking him out to catch up before he left later that evening. James was happy that his love was spending time with his father, but as soon as Carlos walked out the door that morning, the day stretched on...and on...and on.
James knew he loved being around Carlos, but he didn't realize being without him, even for just a day, would be so hard! He wasn't there to kiss or cuddle. He had no one to plan pranks with or go on a nice date. No video games, no talking about hockey or his favorite Cuda products. Even just having Carlos there taking a nap on his lap while he watched his favorite TV shows was better than Carlos not being there at all.
Suddenly James felt his phone vibrate. In excitement he jumped up and slid a hand in his pocket, whipping out his phone. He nearly squeaked in glee when it read he had a text from Carlos. He turned to tell Kendall, but the blond let out a loud grizzly snore, indicating he was no longer awake.
Hey! Just got back. Where r u?
C u in 2 minutes. Pool.
Kk
James was already up and heading towards the lobby. The elevator couldn't come fast enough, and when it did, the doors didn't shut quickly enough, and the cab didn't make it to the floor in lightening speed.
James was out the elevator before it even finished opening all the way. He threw open the apartment door, barely acknowledging Mama Knight with a plate of snicker doodles.
"He's in your room." She said, smiling with a roll of her eyes when he tossed back a quick 'thanks'. He dashed down the hallway, throwing open his bedroom door.
And there was Carlos, sitting on his bed. For a split second, James noticed something was...off about Carlos. He seemed deep in thought...almost conflicted. Now this state was not unusual for him to be in, for anyone really, but when that split second passed and he turned to regard James, Carlos's smile broke his face in two, and James let what he saw slide.
"James!" the Latino exclaimed, jumping up into the taller boys arms, wrapping his legs and arms around him tight, safely knowing he wasn't about to be dropped.
"I missed you." Carlos pouted when he pulled back to look sweetly into James's eyes.
"Oh really? I barely noticed you were gone." James teased, which earned him a frown and light swap on his shoulder. "I'm kidding. This was possibly the longest day of my life." That earned him a smile. Carlos leaned forward to kiss James, moaning a bit from being without a kiss almost all day.
James shifted Carlos, then turned to lay him down on his bed. Carlos kept his arms around James's neck, so James lifted a knee to place besides Carlos's hips. Then he swiped his tongue deeply inside the boy's mouth in unison with a grinding of his pelvis into Carlos's.
Carlos whimpered into the kiss, bucking his hips up. "Feels good." He muttered when James pulled away to litter his jaw and neck with kisses.
James was dizzy with happiness that Carlos was back. He ran his hands up and down Carlos's sides and chest, and was about to ask if Carlos wanted some special Diamond magic, when there was a knocking at the door.
With a groan by James, and a little chuckle by Carlos, James got up and opened the door, revealing Logan.
"What?" The pretty boy asked with annoyance, ignoring Carlos hissing, "James!"
"Well by that attitude, it answers whether Carlos is back." He held up his phone which had a text from Kelly, "Gustavo wants us at the studio. Apparently we sang a note with," he held up his hands to do air quotes, "not enough 'boy bandness' in it."
Letting out another groan, James exclaimed, "Seriously? Arg. Fine. Kendall's by the pool, if you're wondering."
The smile Logan grew was one filled with mischief, "Good to know. Welcome home Carlos!" Logan called out to his friend before turning back and heading out the door.
Shutting the door, James turned back to Carlos. "I'm sure you heard that. I think Gustavo's just bored. It's been so long since anything really crazy has happened, he's probably just antsy." James continued on, heading to his closet to change his pants and shirt to appropriate studio wear. He knew the other three would just keep wearing what they already had on, but James wouldn't be caught dead at the studio unless he was dressed appropriately for it.
He was halfway through asking Carlos if he liked the blue or red shirt when he realized that Carlos wasn't listening. He was wearing that conflicted look on his face again, and seemed to be staring off into space.
"Carlos? Yoo-hoo. Carlitos?"
Carlos jerked back when he heard his name, and looked away when his face turned bright red.
"S-sorry. James. What was that?" James opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but his phone buzzed. He pulled out his Iphone, and read the text from Logan telling them to hurry up. He sighed and slid his phone back in his pocket.
"Nothing. Let's go we're going to be late."
James just made a mental note to talk to him him later. He didn't think it could be anything seriously wrong.
Okay...it had been three days and yes...something was wrong.
James first realized it when he woke up in the middle of the night, mid-nightmare about a fox wearing a bandana stealing his Cuda products. He caught himself saying, "Swiper no Swiping!" before he jerked awake...making a mental note to never watch cartoons ever again.
It was then he realized he was alone in bed. He shook himself a bit, trying to focus on where Carlos could be. Often the boy slept like the dead, not even getting up to pee in the middle of the night. Fumbling for the light switch he turned it on, revealing the room to be empty of anyone else.
James nearly fell out of bed in a rush to find Carlos, his heart beating fast. He stumbled out into the living room, feeling his way through the darkness until he saw Carlos sitting on the orange couch, laptop in hand as he was thoroughly engrossed in...something.
"Carlos?" James croaked, padding over to the couch while he rubbed his tired eyes. He frowned when Carlos shot a look at him that was filled with guilt before he slammed the machine shut. He put it on the coffee table and stood.
"H-hey James. What are you doing up?"
James frowned, crossing his arms, "Me? What am I doing up? What about you?"
Carlos jerked a shoulder, walking up to James to slide his arms around his waist, "Couldn't sleep. Was just messing around on the internet. Let's go back to bed okay?" He began leading James back towards their bedroom.
James wanted to fight him on the subject, find out what he was looking at...
But sleep just sounded so good...
"Dude, something is definitely up with Carlos."
The pretty brunette turned from the bathroom mirror to regard Kendall who was suddenly standing by the door, his voice just above a stage whisper. James's hands stopped mid-air, brush and hairspray in hand, as the words sunk in.
"Okay so it's not just me." James answered with a frown.
Kendall rolled his eyes. "You think? He's been grumpy and quiet. He barely tries when he's at the studio. And he looks like he hasn't slept in days!"
James winced at that last note. Carlos was on edge. He was now quiet and moody. He barely laughed or played around anymore. And, James knew for a fact that Carlos wasn't sleeping. He often woke in the morning to find Carlos already out of bed, his side cold from being empty so long. Normally James would always wake first, eager to begin his morning cleansing routine. But he would always spend a few minutes snuggling and giving morning kisses to a still sleepy Carlos.
"Well have you talked to him about it?" Kendall asked, then heaved a sigh when James bit his lip and shook his head.
"James..." Kendall moaned out his name in frustration, running a hand through his hair, "Why not?"
"What if..." James began, scared to put into voice his worst fear, "What if he's thinking of breaking up with me? What if that's why he's been acting different. And...if I call him out on how he's acting, he'll just end it with me."
The anger Kendall held inside deflated a bit at James's words. He could feel for his friend. If Logan was acting the same as Carlos, Kendall had to admit he would be worried about the same thing.
"Even though I don't think that's the case, you still really need to talk to him."
With a nod, James answered, "Yeah I guess your-" But his words were cut off when a loud crash and a painful cry echoed to the bathroom, coming from the kitchen.
Without hesitation both boys darted to the kitchen, coming to a halt when they discovered the scene before them.
Logan was lying on the floor, both hands to his face, moaning in pain. Carlos stood before him, a fist raised to his chest. He looked angry, but shock was also written on his features.
All boys stood still for a moment, taking in what happened...
Then the moment ended.
"What the hell did you do?" Kendall exclaimed to Carlos, bending down to Logan to pull his hands away. Blood was all over Logan's palms, coming from a cut on his lip.
"Kendall..." James began, but the taller boy stood up and within seconds he had shoved Carlos, pinning him with force to the wall, his anger evident with every movement. Carlos merely blinked in confusion.
"What the hell Carlos? What the hell were you thinking?" Kendall shoved Carlos even further up the wall, this time holding him in place. He began breathing harder from his protectiveness over his boyfriend fueling his actions and words.
"Kendall it's fine." Logan said from his spot on the floor. He didn't want this to come to blows. They had always fought before, but this time it was different.
"Don't you ever touch him again do you hear me? Do you hear me? I swear to God Carlos if you come near him again-" but Kendall didn't finish shouting his words. James was over to his boyfriends side in an instant, pulling Kendall back away with force from a still silent Carlos.
"Leave him alone Kendall." James growled, putting himself between Carlos and Kendall.
"You saw what he did." Kendall shot back, pointing to Logan. Whatever Carlos was dealing with, Kendall would not abide by him taking it out on Logan.
"I did. Now why don't you take care of Logan and I will take care of Carlos. I'm sure Logan would appreciate your help instead of just leaving him lying on the floor there." James nodded to Logan, who was still on the floor and watching the scene with growing fear as more blood tricked down his face.
Kendall gave Carlos one more glare before he bent down and wrapped an arm around Logan, lifting him up to stand before guiding him towards the bathroom.
When they were gone, James turned back to Carlos, who was staring at the floor, his fists still clenched at his sides.
"Carlos." James began. The Latinos only indication that he heard his boyfriend was a sharp intake of breath. But other than that, he didn't move his place or position. James heaved out a sigh and reached out, taking Carlos's arm.
"C'mon." He muttered, and pulled Carlos towards their room. He was glad when Carlos followed him, though he still didn't say a word. When they entered the bedroom James shut the door before going over to the windows and pulling the shades down. Then he went over to their made bed and pulled back the sheets.
"What are you doing?" Carlos asked, his voice tired and raw. James felt his heart break at hearing it. He cursed himself for not stepping in sooner, instead letting his own fears take over.
"We're taking a nap." James stated, slipping off his shoes and pulling off his shirt. He knew Carlos was in trouble when, after he was shirtless, Carlos just looked away to cross his arms and huff. Normally when James took of his shirt, Carlos was on him in an instant.
"I'm not tired." Carlos mumbled.
James shook his head, "Yeah you are. You've been barely sleeping." Carlos opened his mouth to argue back but James held up a finger, "No you haven't. Now get into bed." He moved his finger to point it at their bed, leaving no room for argument in his voice.
But Carlos just shook his head, "Whatever. I'm leaving." He turned to leave, but was stopped when he felt James slide his arms around his waist.
"Let me go James." Carlos said through gritted teeth, but that only caused James to pull him in closer.
"No." James breathed into his ear, "Never." James could feel Carlos shiver from his words, and for a moment James felt hope...but then Carlos jerked his head away and tried to pull out of James's grasp.
"You are taking a nap and that's final!" James said, frustration seeping into him. He pulled Carlos in close then lifted him up, turning and plopping him down on their bed.
"James! Knock it off! Let me go!" Carlos exclaimed, jerking and trying to twist out of James's grasp. But the taller boy held on tight, laying them both down on the bed.
"No. You are going to get some sleep Carlos. Please. You need it." James begged, burying his face into Carlos's back as he kept a tight grip on his boyfriends waist. Whatever was going on with Carlos wouldn't be solved until Carlos cleared his head, and he couldn't do that running on barely any sleep.
"I'm so going to get you back for this." Carlos growled, finally giving up. They laid in silence for a few minutes before Carlos spoke again, "Aren't you going to ask me what happened in the kitchen?"
James shrugged, "You'll tell me when you're ready."
He heard Carlos take in a breath, and for a moment James thought he was going to start to cry, but then he let out that breath...and there was only silence.
James woke with a start. He half expected to find Carlos gone, but he was wrong. The boy was laying on his back, facing the ceiling. He was wide awake, and didn't have that lethargic, tired look to him anymore. He still seemed conflicted, but James could tell that Carlos got some sleep. He knew that also, because he wouldn't close his eyes until he could feel Carlos softly breathing under his arms.
"You're awake." James whispered. There was an inch of space between them, but to James it felt more like a mile.
Carlos only nodded in answer.
Taking a deep breath, James continued in a soft voice, "Baby...what's wrong?" When Carlos continued to be silent, James brokenly continued, "Is...is it me? Is this...not working anymore?" He didn't know what he would do if Carlos said yes, but he had to know.
Suddenly Carlos seemed to come to life. He twisted his head and exclaimed, "No! James no. How could you think that?"
Sitting up in bed while trying to calm himself, James said, "How could I think that? How could I not? Carlos...talk to me. What is going on with you?"
Carlos bit his lip, looking away from James before answering, "I-I want to..I'm just...scared you'll be mad." His voice matched his words, broken and quiet. James's stomach twisted at what could possibly be causing so much turmoil in the one he loved.
He slid his arms around Carlos, pulling him in close and resting a hand on the back of Carlos's head, holding it to his chest. He felt Carlos melt into him, grasping onto him with a tight grip of desperation.
"Carlos I love you. No matter what you say I will be here for you." James whispered, running his hand through Carlos's short locks of hair.
The Latino sucked in a breath before pulling back, "That's just it James. You'll be here...but I wont."
Panic welled in James's stomach at his words, "W-what do you mean? Where are you going?" James wasn't sure of what was going on, but he was sure that he wasn't going to let anyone take Carlos away, even Carlos himself.
"It...its my Papi. He...when he came to visit he kept talking about me following in his footsteps to become a cop. I'm going to be graduating soon and...he well...he just assumes that I'll go straight into the academy...like him."
James frowned at Carlos's words. Carlos...a cop? Despite his actions a couple of hours ago, and his love of hockey, Carlos was one of the most gentle people he knew. Granted he could get overzealous at times...but never with the intention to seriously hurt anyone. And besides that...
"What about the band? Doesn't he know that you want to stay with Big Time Rush?" James asked, sitting up so that his back was resting against the headboard. He still held onto Carlos, not wanting the boy to pull away from him again.
Carlos shook his head, adjusting with James so he could sit up next to him. "He says that it's was fine while I was a kid...but its time for me to grow up. To...get a real job." Carlos looked into James's eyes, tears slowly welling up in them, "But...I don't want to leave. I love being here. With the guys...with you." James felt Carlos grasp onto him, his desperation growing as fast as the tears in his eyes. James pulled Carlos to his chest, holding him close once more.
"Shh baby. We're going to sort all this out okay? You don't have to do what your father tells you. Especially when you turn 18."
Carlos sniffed and shook his head, "I don't want to disappoint him. I feel like no matter what I do...someone will get hurt."
James ran his hand across Carlos's back, answering, "Someone might...yeah...but this is your choice...your life. If you really wanted to go to the Academy," James held his breath at that, because the thought of it took his breath away, "then I would support it. No matter what I felt. But if you don't want to go, then you shouldn't out of some kind of duty to your father."
Carlos pulled back to tilt his head upwards, kissing James. They held each others lips for a moment, before Carlos broke it. "You're amazing." He whispered.
A small smirk formed on James's face, "You know its true."
Carlos smiled before placing his head back on James's chest, heaving out a heavy sigh, "What do you think I should do?"
Stay here with me. Never leave. Don't go.
Even though that is what James wanted to say, he swallowed back the words and said, "Whatever you truly want to do Carlos. It's up to you."
Carlos nodded, "I should probably go apologize to Logan. It was a jerk thing to do. He was just trying to help...asking me if I was okay and everything. But...I don't know...I just snapped. I-guess I just didn't realize how much this was bothering me."
Running a hand up and down Carlos's back James frowned, "I'm sorry Carlos. I knew something was up and I should have said something sooner-" Carlos cut James's rant off with a kiss as he shifted to sit up and straddle James, silencing his apologies, which weren't needed.
They battled their tongues and lips for a minute before Carlos broke away, each boy gasping a bit, "I should really go apologize..."
James slid his hands under Carlos's butt, pulling him closer, "I would wait a bit longer. Kendall was really pissed."
With a shudder, both from thinking about Kendall's anger and the lust filled look in James's eye, Carlos nodded and let James distract him for a while.
James was pacing back and forth in the sound booth, ignoring everyone's questioning glances directed at him. They had been in the middle of a recording when Carlos's phone rang. He asked for a break before answering it with a nervous "Papi?" before he left the room.
That had been ten minutes ago.
"James...dude are you okay?" Logan asked, casting a confused glance up at his boyfriend, who only shrugged in answer, as confused as the rest of the group was.
James ran both of his hands through his hair, fear and frustration welling up inside him. It had been two
days since Carlos explained what he had been dealing with, and James was the only one who knew about it. Carlos didn't want to tell anyone else, instead trying to figure out for himself what he wanted. James had been trying to be supportive...but the thought of loosing Carlos was tearing him up inside.
"Guys...whats going in?" Kelly asked through the microphone, Gustavo watching James curiously before leaning towards the same mic and continuing, "Is his head going to explode or something?" Both Logan and Kendall took a step back at that, not sure if it could possibly happen...but the way James looked they wouldn't have been surprised.
With a grunt, James shook his head. He promised Carlos he wouldn't say anything...but he was dying inside. Would this be the last few months with Carlos? Would he leave to go back to Minnesota, become a cop and really give up this dream? Give up what they have?
Even though being in Big Time Rush was originally his dream, James knew that it had grown and sucked in Carlos, Logan and Kendall, and it was all for the better. They had never been closer, more braver than they had been here in L.A. Stepping away from their lives in Minnesota allowed them to realize they could become better than they had been...and be those better persons together.
The studio door opened, revealing Carlos stepping inside, sliding his phone in his pocket. He shot a nervous look at Kendall before shutting the door. Kendall was speaking to him, but only after Carlos spent most of the past two nights and days apologizing to Logan for his actions. Logan forgave him easily, but he knew that Kendall was still upset with it, and would take more time.
James wanted nothing more to tackle Carlos to the ground and beg him to tell him what he and his father talked about. Logan, Kendall, Gustavo and Kelly were all staring intently at them, as if some big drama was about to unfold.
Carlos turned his eyes back to James, before speaking, "Uh...guys do you mind giving me and James a minute?"
The words shook everyone from their intense stare, and they shuffled out, leaving Carlos and James alone.
James was clutching his hands tightly into fists, willing himself to not cry. Carlos was going to leave. He would never disappoint his father. He was going back to Minnesota...
"So...that was my dad." Carlos began.
James could only nod...not having the strength to hold himself steady for the inevitable blow.
"I-I told him that I wanted to stay here...and keep living in L.A. To keep being part of Big Time Rush. I explained that...if I was ever going to be a cop it was going to be when I was ready to be one...if ever."
James sucked in a breath before squeaking out, "W-what did he say?"
"That...the next time he's in L.A he wants to see one of our concerts." Carlos said, his face breaking into a huge smile...which contorted into an "Oof!" look when he was thrown to the floor by James tackling him, kissing him fiercely on the mouth.
"S-so you're staying?" James exclaimed when he pulled back for air. Carlos nodded, smiling widely at James before they met again for a kiss. James slid his hands into Carlos's hair, pulling him in close. When they broke it was only for James to trace soft kisses along Carlos's jaw and whispering, "I love you. I love you...I love you."
The sound of a wolf whistle and clapping jerked them out of their little world of love. Both turned to regard the glass separating the booth and sound room to see Logan, Kendall, Kelly and Gustavo watching them, laughing and clapping.
Blushing a serious shade of red, Carlos buried his face into James's chest. But the pretty boy didn't care. Carlos was staying, and never leaving.
He would make sure of that.
So...that was my little two shot. Yay :)
xoxo BA