I'm sorry to be so long in posting. I'd intended to post this chapter last Wednesday but my computer had other ideas. Simply put, my hard drive got fried last week. Took it to the repair shop and they fixed it but in the process I lost all my files, including this chapter. I was three and a half chapters ahead but for now, I'll be writing as I go so things will be slower. Wrote this last night and proofed this morning, so it isn't as good as it was before but I wanted to get it out there. And I was finally getting to a place where the words were flowing better too, darn it:(

Anyways, happy reading. And please do drop a line at the end. Its been a rough week.

"I got a hit," Greg exclaimed as he rounded the corner into the lab where Nick was still working on the cell phone.

Nick looked up at the younger CSI and nodded tiredly. "The fingerprints?"

"Yeah," Greg said excitedly. "They belong to Joey Tan. He's a small time drug dealer and generally bad boy from L.A. Did three years as a guest of the state and got out four years ago. There was a John Lee on his cell block and they were good friends. Whacha wanna bet these two are the Joey and John that the girl told Brass about?"

"Sounds promising," Nick said optimistically. "You give it to Vega yet?"

"Nope. My second shift ended an hour ago. Vega's due back next shift."

Looking at his watch briefly, Nick nodded. "Yeah… so who's on over there?"

"I think Vartann and Brian Trinh."

"Give it to Trinh. He kinda knows what's going on. He can do some follow up and hand it over to Sam …"

"Okay. Soo… you going over to the hospital?"

"No, think I'll go home and get some sleep," Nick answered thoughtfully. "Then I'll come back and finish up with the cell phone … maybe see what Archie can get out of it."

"Okay, see ya later then…"

Anna Trang walked from the elevator down the hall and turned the corner into Jim's room. She's spent time comforting Mai after the girl's visit before. If she'd known how upset Mai was going to be, she wouldn't have allowed the visit. But Jim had been so worried about her and Mai had been insistent. Alicia had asked Anna to take Mai home when she was released because Guy and Jimmy were due back from L.A. Alicia wanted to wait at the house for them.

Mai had cried all the way to the car after they left Jim's room. "I didn't know he was blind too," Mai wept. "Mama told me that he had some minor head injuries. Being blind and talking funny sounds serious."

"I have been told that it is all expected to be temporary," Anna had explained to her granddaughter. "His speech has already improved."

Mai looked at her grandmother oddly. "You have visited him before?"

"Yes, I did. I wanted to thank him for finding your father and you… and for staying with you."

Once they were in the car, Mai stared out of her window, thinking. Then turning back to her Bai, she smiled. "He must be a very brave man."

Remembering a much younger Jimmy Brass and his frightening experiences so many years ago in war, Anna nodded. "Yes, I think he must be. And a very determined one too. Not all officers would have been so diligent about finding you." After a slight pause, Anna continued. "You saw that he was blind and did not say anything…"

"I thought it might be rude," Mai replied.

"That was good. He did not seem to want you to know. He was trying to look like he could see you."

"That's what I thought too. So, I said nothing." Studying her grandmother's face from the passenger side of the car, Mai gathered the courage to ask another question. "Bai, he probably fought in the war, didn't he?"

Anna was surprised by the question and concerned about what Mai might be thinking. "He is the right age, I suppose; although there were many his age that were not there. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. It's just… Father rarely speaks about his father and when he does, he is so angry. But Captain Brass seems like a good man. Was…" she hesitated and looked away. Looking back at her grandmother Mai finished, "Was my grandfather like him?"

Anna fought the panic that ran through her. She could not lie to her granddaughter but she could not tell her the truth either. Her son deserved to know the truth first. And she had promised his father that they would talk to Jimmy together. Sighing, she decided to say as little as possible. "He was a good man as well."

"Then why did he leave you and Father in Vietnam?"

"I did not know I was going to have a baby. And he wanted to take me with him. But his unit was sent home before he could arrange it."

"Father says he promised that he would come back for you…"

"Yes, he did. But Saigon fell soon after and he would not have been able to go back."

"Do you…" again the girl hesitated. "Do you think he would like having a Vietnamese family?"

"I think… " what could she say? "The man I knew then did not care that I was Vietnamese. And your father is only half Vietnamese and you even less. I think he would be very happy with you as his granddaughter. He would see you as a part of him."

Mai relaxed back into the seat of the car and was quiet the rest of the way home. As Anna pulled into her family's driveway, Mai looked at her grandmother and shared one more thought. "I would like to meet my grandfather someday."

Anna smiled at the girl. "Perhaps someday you will."

Jimmy was already home and waiting for them. The reunion between father and daughter had brought tears to Anna's eyes. She stayed and visited with her son as well, until he was too tired to stay up any longer and Alicia had helped him to bed. Anna left a few minutes later, heading back to talk with Jim, as she had promised.

And now, standing just outside his room, she took a deep breath. She didn't know what the future held for them but she'd spent forty years hoping against hope. She had to talk to him, had to know the man he had become. At the very least, perhaps they could be friends. But just as he'd told her that he still loved that girl from so long ago, she knew that she still loved that boy.

When she walked in the room, she found him looking in her direction. "An?" he asked.

She frowned as she studied him. "Yes." Could he see her? How had he known it was her?

"I thought I rrecognized your footstteps," he said, answering her unasked question. "And I don't know, I ccould just feelll you…"

Smiling, she moved towards him. "You sound rested."

Jim shrugged. "Yeah, ttook a nap. Thaaat seems to bbbe all I do these days…take naps and do ththerapy."

"But you are getting better, so it is good that you do these things."

"Yeah, I sssuppose," he sighed. "MMai is home?"

"Yes. And so is Jimmy. He and Guy arrived a little while ago. Jimmy's injuries are healing and in a few days he will be fine. Jimmy is very grateful to have Mai safe at home."

"Yeah, hhe is nnow. But will hhe be when he knows who ffound her?"

"Perhaps knowing the kind of man you are will help him to see that his father is not the bad man Jimmy believes him to be."

Jim blinked, trying to keep the tears that rushed to his eyes in check. "I ddin't mmean to bbe a bbad ffather. II rreally mmessed up. Tto leave you there, llike tthat… I should'e nnever ..I mean, I ththought I wwas being ccareful bbut…"

"You put a baby in me anyway," An said softly.

"YYeah. II ppromised thtthat I wouldn'tt."

Unknown to Jim, An shrugged. "Perhaps it was meant to be. Having Jimmy, having to take care of him and keep him safe, it was how I survived."

Even though he couldn't see her face, Jim could hear it in her voice. There was much more to her story, much that she wasn't telling him. And that knowledge clinched in his heart, squeezing it. "Wwhat happened tto you? Tthere are tthings you ddin't ttell me…"

Her hand was gentle on his face, softly stroking his cheek, lovingly and tenderly. "Things I don't want to tell you. Things I would rather not remember."

A tear trickled out of the corner of his eye as her words settled over him. "I'm ssorry, I'm soso sorry," he wept.

Her fingers traced back into his short hair in a soothing motion. "It was not your doing. The enemy came and…bad things happened. And then I had Jimmy and I had purpose. I would not be here if you had not given me Jimmy."

"Bbut…"

"Everyday I hoped, everyday I planned, and everyday I worked to get us to America. Because once I got to America, I could look for you."

"Aand when yyou ggot here…"

"You were married and had a child. But still, we were here. We were in a better place… a place where Jimmy could go to school and find some acceptance. In Vietnam, he would always be outcast." She paused to wipe a tear away from Jim's face. "And here he was able to find someone to love and create a family with."

"BBut you nnever…"

"No. I only wanted one man. I never met anyone else who made me feel the way you had made me feel. And…" Her voice faded sadly.

Jim heard the change in her voice and tilted his head, frowning. "What An? You hhave to ttell me. Wwe have to bbe honnnest here."

"No Vietnamese man would consider me, not with Jimmy being… half white. And besides, after the things that happened, I couldn't have children. And men who want to marry also want children."

Jim tensed. "Yyou ccouldn't hhave cchchildren? Wwhat hhapenned?"

"Jimmy…" she whispered sadly, pleading not to answer.

"Ttell me!" he insisted. "An… "

She began to cry softly. "They raped me. And the damage was … enough so that I couldn't get a baby again."

"Oh no, oh Jesus, no…" Jim wailed. "An…no…. Oh god…" His heart was cracking into pieces, he was sure of it. His beautiful An, the sweet, sweet girl from his youth… A sob escaped as he gasped for breath. In the darkness of his blindness his mind was creating images, images he knew would haunt him, images based on years of handling cases, of bastards performing unthinkable acts on her, and the guilt crashed down onto him. "No…"

An reached for his hand and held it tightly. "It was a long time ago Jimmy. It no longer matters."

He squirmed in the bed and then began to shake. "No…." Gasping, he shook his head and then threw it back against the pillows, frightening An. All the years of dealing in other people's muck and misery, all of his own disappointments and heartaches, none of it tore at him like this. His heart clinched so tightly in his chest that he thought it might implode and his lungs fought for air as his mind reeled.

"Jimmy, you must be calm… your head, do not hurt your head," she admonished.

Pulling her hand towards him, to his lips, he kissed it as tears rolled down his face. The gesture was tender and sweet, as if he were trying to comfort her or perhaps seeking his own. "An, Ii'm so, so ssorry."

Feeling a little braver, An sat on the edge of the bed, siding up to Jim and taking his head in her other hand. Then pulling his head closer, she held him against her chest, her fingers working into the hair on the back of his head. "Shh… it was a long, long time ago. I am fine now. I didn't want to tell you. I knew it would upset you."

He wrapped his arm around her and held himself close. Everything was so messed up. Yet, this felt right. "Ii'm ggoing tto make iit up tto you," he declared.

"You did not do that to me; you are not responsible for what happened after you left. Leave it in the past. Now we must take one thing at a time, Jimmy. You get stronger. And then we will tell Jimmy about you. And then… we will see."

"Yeah, we'll see." But Jim was visualizing it already. He was going to make it up to her. He would do it on her terms, but he would do it. For the rest of his life, he would spend every day making it up to her.

"Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh."

Henry David Thoreau