Finally the day came for Jim to go home. After the customary red tape at the hospital, Bill helped Jim to his car and drove towards his house. Jim had become accustomed to the hospital, the sounds and smells and feel of things, and consequently had become reasonably comfortable in his surroundings. Leaving, on the other hand, was a different matter.

He held Bill's elbow as they'd been taught, so that Bill could lead him to the car. It felt good being outside, the warm sun on his face. But it was frightening as well. The sounds, ones he'd always taken for granted, were scary. He could hear cars and generally locate where they were but having no sense of their proximity unsettled him. He heard birds and assumed there were trees nearby. There were other people; he could hear them talking. Were they looking at him, pitying him? He didn't want pity.

At last they reached their destination and Jim was relieved to slip into the passenger seat. "Sure you don't want me to drive?" Jim quipped at Bill as the other man slid behind the wheel. Humor had always been Jim's way of dealing with things that made him uncomfortable and he had a feeling he was going to be using that a lot.

The drive home seemed to take forever. Bill cracked the windows, since it was a warm but not overly hot day. The breeze tickled Jim's face, again a sensation he'd never really paid much attention to. Geez, all the things I took for granted…

They passed some restaurants; Jim could smell them. A diesel truck rode along side them for awhile. The car turned a corner and Jim heard children playing. A park? The kids sound happy…

Somehow Jim knew when Bill turned the car onto his street. It felt different. The air was a bit cooler as they drove the tree lined street towards his house. And then the car came to a stop. He was home.

The first thing he did when he entered his house was bump into his favorite chair. Startled, he paused, patting the back of the furniture, quietly relishing the feel of the leather beneath his fingers.

"You okay?" Bill asked as he noticed Jim's hesitance to move.

"Yeah, just getting reacquainted with an old friend," Jim answered, still savoring the feel of the familiar chair. "Always used to come in and toss my jacket and tie here first thing. And this has always been my favorite chair for watching the games."

"Games? You like football…I think there's a game on this afternoon," Bill offered without thinking.

Jim nodded negatively. "Hockey…and it's not a game you listen to, too much action…although I suppose I'll have to learn."

"Oh, right," Bill responded, feeling sheepish about his gaffe. "Well, how about we get your stuff settled in your room and then I should help you walk off your steps around the house."

"Right…yeah…that way I'm not stuck in one place."

Jim pointed out the guest room as they moved down the hall. At the end, he turned the corner to his room. Pausing, he tried to mentally picture the furniture placement. "Let me try this on my own, Bill."

"Okay… I'll stand right here in case you need me."

Moving slowing across the room, Jim reached his bed. He tossed his small bag on top and then turned. Inching his way, he made it to the bathroom door, reached around to switch on the light, and then shrugged. "Guess that's no really necessary," he mumbled.

"You can see the light, can't you?" Bill asked from the door. "Might feel better if you go ahead and turn it on."

Jim nodded and flipped the switch. He instantly sensed the brightness as the light reflected off the mirror over the sink. It was almost enough to make him blink…or is that just habit? He reached for the edge of the door and shuffled past, closing the door behind him as he went further into the room. After locating the toilet, he took care of business and then managed to flush and find the sink to wash his hands. It was the first time since the explosion that he'd been able to piss without an escort. It felt great. Pleased with his accomplishment, he opened the door and walked back into the bedroom.

"Proud of yourself?" Bill chuckled.

"Yeah," Jim grinned. "I know it's not much but…"

"Independence," was all Bill needed to say.

By late afternoon, Jim was at a loss. His activities were limited and none of his usual boredom relieving methods were of any use. He tried turning on a game, but it frustrated him when he couldn't see and the play by play guy was a dumbass, in Jim's opinion. Reading was out of the question. He thought about going a few rounds with his boxing bag but he'd been warned about undertaking anything too strenuous just yet. And the last thing he wanted was to end up back in the hospital. Finally, he stepped out onto his patio and found one of his chairs. Just sitting and listening, his mind began to wander.

After a few minutes of contemplation, he re-entered the house, calling out for Bill. "Hey I need you to do something for me," Jim told the other man. "I need you to look up Anna Trang in the phone book and dial her number for me. And then I need you to get lost."

Bill studied his charge carefully. "How about I look up the number and tell it to you. I'll get lost while you dial."

Jim nodded. "Even better."

"Hello," her voice sounded from the other end of a long tunnel.

"An, it's me…Jim."

"Jimmy? You are calling me? Are you home now? I know you said not to go to the hospital today, that they were letting you go…"

"I'm home."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah…just bored. And…"

A silence hung over the connection until she spoke. "And what, Jimmy?"

"I missed seeing you. I mean, I'm glad I'm home but…I missed seeing you."

"Me too. Seeing you at the hospital had become part of my day and now…"

"You could still visit…or I could get Bill to drive me to your place," he offered hopefully.

"Bill?"

"Yeah. He's looking out for me for awhile until I can make it happen on my own."

"Ah… I could come to your house, if that is okay?"

Excitedly Jim gave her his address. She told him she'd be there in a little over an hour and then hung up. Smiling, Jim found the cradle for the phone and put it back. Easing his way through the room, he went looking for Bill. Jim wanted to be sure he looked his best when An showed up.

Bill opened the door for An and led her further into the room. Jim was standing next to his chair staring in their direction, listening for the sounds of her, and full of anticipation. The two men had agreed on a plan earlier and Jim was relieved to hear Bill holding up his end. "Well," the other man began, "if you two will be okay for awhile, I'll take this opportunity to run to the market."

Jim nodded, as if he hadn't known it was coming. "Yeah, we'll be fine."

"I will remain until you return," An assured Bill.

Bill disappeared quickly, much to the relief of Jim and An. "You wanna sit," Jim offered. "I'd offer you something from the kitchen but I'm not there yet with my skills," he added.

"I could get us something…if you do not mind me in your kitchen. What would you like?"

"Oh um…I think Bill made some coffee…or there is tea in a pitcher one the counter. I heard Bill making that earlier too."

"Cups and glasses?" An asked as she walked into the other room.

"Cabinet beside the sink…" He listened and heard her rattling in the cabinet. Satisfied that she had found things, he settled back into his chair.

She brought him a mug of coffee and by the clinking of ice in her glass, he guess she was having iced tea. He heard the cushions crinkle as she sat on the sofa near him. And as much as he wanted to talk, his mouth was very dry and suddenly, he had nothing to say. His brain was simply blank.

They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes until he heard her get up and move around the room. "This is your daughter?" she asked from a spot across the room, next to the shelves he thought.

"Uh…yeah. It was taken a long time ago, when she was still a little girl," he replied grateful for the conversation starter.

"She was a very cute little girl," An noted.

"She was…and she used it to her advantage too," Jim remembered fondly.

"Where did you say she is now?"

"Los Angeles," Jim answered.

"You saw her then…when you were there?"

"No…uh, I was on the case and…well, we don't talk much anymore. She's…well she's made some bad choices and she knows I don't approve."

"A boy?"

Jim cringed. "Several of them and….other things too. She was here several years ago and involved in a case we were working. That's when I first realized how bad the crowd was that she was with. After she went to L.A., things got worse. I'm surprised I haven't gotten a call that she's in jail."

"Oh, I am sorry," An said sympathetically.

"Yeah…so am I. She was so pretty as a teenager and smart too. And it's all been wasted."

"Perhaps she will change…find a different path."

"I hope so but…" he paused, unsure about what to say.

"You have given up on her?"

I don't think I could ever quite give up. But…just had a reality check and know not to expect anything, let's say."

"Why is she like that?"

"When her mother and I broke up…I dunno, I guess she took it harder than I realized. She says I was never around for her and she's right. But I was a mess when I realized just how bad things were and it took me moving here and starting over to get straightened out."

"I'm glad you moved here…straightened out and that we are here now," she responded confidently.

Wanting to turn the conversation away from his failings as a parent, Jim prompted. "Tell me about Jimmy. What was he like growing up?"

"Jimmy was a very good boy. He had to be. As a baby, he didn't cry much which was good. Him crying would bring attention from the others and we did not want that. In Vietnam, they were very cruel to him, especially other children. And their parents were mean to me. But we survived. At the camp, where the priests found us, it was better. The living conditions were hard, but the people were better. And when we came here, it took a long time but Jimmy began to be more comfortable. He wasn't always afraid like he was in Vietnam."

"Was he good in school?"

"He was far behind at first. But he caught up. I was taking classes too on speaking English and writing and citizenship. I also learned about money and the rules for when I got a job. It took many years, but we learned and became citizens."

"So Jimmy was okay in school…not picked on or anything?"

"Picked on?" she asked thoughtfully but before Jim could answer, she continued. "Oh, you mean teased. Not much. There were many refugees at the first school where he went. Not all were Vietnamese either. So that helped. Later, after we had better jobs and moved, his school was mostly white and Mexican. There was some teasing at first. But it wasn't as bad as before and Jimmy it. Eventually they quit. In high school he became very popular with some of the students. They didn't seem to care that he was half Vietnamese."

Jim nodded, his chest hurting for the pain they had endured. "I wish I had been there. Kids are brutal sometimes."

"It could have been worse. There were many who did not ever leave Vietnam. They continue to live as bui doi. Jimmy did not grow up with that. Oh, he heard similar things but not as much as he would have if we stayed. And there have been good friends too. It did hurt, not having a father. I think that is why he is so protective of Mai and Vinh; he wants better for them."

"All fathers do," Jim acknowledged, the thought of his son growing up without a father. It hurt knowing what he'd missed.

He felt An move closer again. "Jimmy, while you are recovering…"

"What?"

"I would like to help. I know you have Bill here but….I would like to help too. How can I help you?"

Jim felt the life drain out of him. So it was just pity and gratitude after all. "You don't need to…really. I'll be okay," he answered flatly.

Her fingers wrapped around his forearm gently. The sensation both warmed him and chilled him. He wanted her touch, craved it but not like that, not in pity.

"Jimmy, I know you will be okay. But I want to spend time with you…give us a chance to know each other again."

His heart soared. So that was it? She wanted to spend time getting to know him. "Yeah, okay. I get it. I'm sure Bill won't mind a little help," he said quickly.

"So I will come back tomorrow afternoon and help," she declared.

"Yeah….tomorrow." Have to think of a way to get Bill out of the house again…

Still not quite back in the grove with this but it is getting better. So Jim wants Bill out of the house while An's around, heh? WOnder what his devious little mind is cooking up? Let me know how it's working for you...