AN/: I've noticed in this story that I write more of a soulful Spike than he was in season six-I blame this on the fact that I just watched my Season seven DVDs again, and I hope you'll be so full of Christmas cheer that you'll forgive me. To compensate, I'll write up a one-shot of evil Spike earning his name later on, promise. MERRY VARIOUS HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!

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Tara walked in and attempted to see through the dark. For some reason, Spike didn't have a single flame burning. She took out a book of matches and proceeded to light the candles that littered the room.

'Willow would've just exclaimed ' luminarium' or something and had the place ablaze in a heartbeat.' Tara couldn't help but think.

She knew she wasn't completely over Willow, but she was close. She couldn't help the occasional thought that popped into her head, though. They'd been together too long for Tara to be able to push her out completely.

Tara again started thinking about the reasons she had decided to come see Spike. Buffy had invited her over for Christmas, but she just couldn't make herself go. It wasn't just that Willow would be there, it was also that she couldn't look at Buffy the same; after she heard about what she had done to Spike, Tara just couldn't summon up the respect that used to be there for the Slayer. And Spike…Strange as it was, she considered him a friend. He was the only one in the group besides Dawn who looked at her and saw something other than 'Willow's girlfriend', or in the case 'ex'. He saw her as a person, the same as she saw him; and lately, for some reason, how he saw her was important.

Tara looked up from the candles as she felt eyes on her. She looked over to see Spike standing in the entryway, a curious expression on his face.

"Why are y'here, pet?" He asked her, eyes glowing in the candlelight. Tara couldn't help but fidget a little.

"It didn't see right, going to Buffy's. They're- we're not really friends; they put up with me because of Willow, and now that we're done…I-it just didn't feel right."

Spike walked closer and tilted his head. "But y'felt okay about comin' here?" he asked.

"We were friends despite the fact that you weren't friends with Willow. You talked to me anyway, and that means something."

A smile came to his lips and he nodded. "We were at that. It's cause you were the only one with any kind of brain outta the lot. The only one who wasn't 'Buffy-whipped'. I admired you. There you were, all shy and quiet-like, but the minute they got too stupid for words, you put 'em in their place." His face softened and he looked at her kindly. "Like that whole thing with Willow. They all saw what she was doin' and none of them had th'balls to stand up to her. But you did. You stood up an' called her on it, and then you took the big step an' left before she dragged you down too. Somethin' like that demands respect." He smiled again. "You're blushin', luv." He teased her.

Her face only succeeded in turning redder. "Sorry, but you make me sound all heroic, and we both know I'm not."

"I don't know that." Spike replied, walking towards the fridge. "Most people would consider goin' from a semi-normal college girl to a demon-hunting, world-savin' super-witch to be pretty heroic." He grabbed two coffee mugs and walked back to her. "Here y'go, the finest glasses in the house. Now, let's get pissed."

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An hour later, they both lay on the floor, a nice buzz setting in. Tara rolled her head in Spike's general direction and gave him a happy smile.

"Why is it about alcohol that makes the holidays much more bearable?" She asked. He scooted closer until his head rested by her shoulder, and sighed before answering.

"The booze makes you numb enough not to notice the forced smiles and hollow laughter surrounding you. That's why everyone's always plastered at Christmas parties. If everyone could just get back to the true meaning of Christmas, they'd all be better off. Things didn't used to be like this." He explained, rolling onto his back. Tara's finger's found their way into his hair and she tousled it until the curls were free.

"What true meaning? Jesus?"

"No, it's about family. Friends. Happiness regardless of what the world thought. It wasn't about the gifts or celebratin' for the hell of it-it was about more than that."

Tara smiled at him softly, touched that he'd let this side of himself show- his human side.

"I think you might be right. Right now, I'm happier than I've been in a long time."

Spike raised his head and rolled onto his elbows. He looked at her, his eyes intense. He wasn't sure exactly what she had meant by that, but he knew how he had taken it.

"Have y'ever kissed a man, luv?" He asked, his voice lower than usual.

Tara's mouth went dry and she couldn't answer. Was this what she wanted? When it came to relationships, she didn't date someone based on their sex, she was with them because of the person they were. She'd stayed away from men since she was sixteen, and looking at Spike- after Willow, he just seemed so male. Swallowing hard, she spoke up.

"Yes."

"Did y'enjoy it?"

"No." She whispered. Spike's brow furrowed.

"Why not, luv?" He asked, his voice now dangerously low.

Tara faced away from him, tears threatening to escape. "I-it was-"

"-Did he hurt you?"

Tara just nodded. Spike's eyes flashed yellow as he let out a growl. He pushed his very angry demon back and moved closer to cup Tara's face in his hands.

"If I kiss ya, pet, I promise that nothin' will hurt. The only time I ever hurt y'was that one time I punched you, and ya gotta admit, it was for a good reason." Tara smiled a little. "D'you trust me?" He asked.

She nodded, uncertainly. "Okay."

Spike lowered his face, his lips barely brushing hers. He did it again, making sure that he hardly touched her. It was excruciating for him, but after a few more times, he got his reward when Tara finally reached up and pulled him down until he was kissing her proper.

Her fingers ran up and down his shoulders while his were lost in her hair. Tara gave a little jolt as she felt his tongue touch her lips, but then she opened her mouth to him, not wanting to think about the last person who had kissed her, or the last guy she had been with, or even think past what she was doing right now. She just wanted to shut her brain off for the night.

Spike nearly groaned out loud when she opened her mouth. He plunged in; tasting the wine she had drunk. Her mouth was wet and warm and only managed to remind him of other parts he wanted to plunge into. He could feel her breasts pressed up against his chest, and he could only be thankful that she wasn't anywhere near his belt; he had a feeling that would end things faster than he'd like.

He wasn't thinking much at all once Tara started really kissing him back. She ran her tongue across his and into his mouth, making him hate Willow a little more with every passing second. He was about to pull her even closer when he remembered that humans needed to breath, and pulled away. He looked down at her- her face flushed, hair out of its clip, lips swollen and her chest rising with every breath- and was momentarily William, staring down at an Earth goddess incarnate. Than she gave him a smile that made certain parts swell and said the only words he hadn't been planning on.

"Let's go downstairs."