"I have good news, Jim," Dr. Taylor said as he walked into Jim's room the next morning.
Jim grunted. "Unless you're here to tell me I'm going home…"
"Exactly," the doctor smiled.
"Guess my timing was pretty good then," Bill said from the chair beside Jim's bed. He'd arrived a few minutes earlier to check on Jim.
Dr. Taylor looked across at the older man. "It is. The paper work will be ready soon and then we're kicking this slacker out of here."
"So everything is okay…inside my head?" Jim asked.
Doctor Taylor laughed. "Won't go so far as to say that," he quipped. "But you seem to have a really hard one. There are still signs of the bruising and some residual scarring, but you didn't do anymore damage. Looks like things are progressing…even saw a little improvement from your last one."
A bittersweet smile crawled across Jim's features. "A little improvement?"
"Patience, Jim. You know this isn't a quick fix," the doctor warned.
With a deep sigh, Jim nodded. "Yeah, I know."
Dr. Taylor left after a brief check of his patient and Jim turned to Bill. "I want to call An."
He heard a quiet chuckle from Bill. "Thought you might," he said. Then Jim listened as the other man reached for the phone and dialed her number. Bill transferred the handset to Jim just in time for him to hear her answer.
"An?" he asked quickly.
"Jimmy, it is you? I am coming to see you…"
"Yeah…uh…I'm getting out of here in a few minutes. So you can come to my house maybe."
"That is good. Then you were not badly hurt?"
He could hear the worry in her voice and it gave him an odd since of comfort. It felt good to have someone in his life that worried about him. "No. Doc says he even saw a little improvement since the last scan."
"This is good," she said happily.
"Yes," he said feeling better than he had a few minutes before.
"I will come over…tonight…and fix your dinner," she declared, her tone leaving no room for argument.
"Okay," he agreed readily. "Bill too or do I need to kick him out?" he asked mischievously.
"He can stay," she replied. "But I would like some time with just you."
"Uh…me too," Jim answered. "So what time?"
"I will be there at 5."
Grinning, Jim agreed.
Two hours later, Jim was back in his home. Once Bill led him inside, the older man released Jim. "Okay, you're inside now…don't need me babysitting…unless you're planning on taking on anymore bad guys?"
"No…but I did hit one of them, you know. Not bad for a blind man."
Bill laughed. "Not bad at all."
By five o'clock, Jim was pacing his hallway. Bill had helped him select his clothes. They'd decided to keep it simple so Jim was wearing jeans and a polo. His happiness at dressing himself was followed by chagrin that such a small thing seemed like such a big accomplishment these days. As they'd worked out what he wanted to wear, Bill had suggested they organize his closet so that he could find and match things on his own. Jim liked the idea and they'd worked out a system for him to identify things that worked together.
In the process, Jim had accepted that he was going to be blind for awhile and he needed to make adjusts to reclaim some of his independence. Couldn't expect Bill to stay with him forever, he'd reasoned. Besides, if things kept going where they seemed to be going with An, he didn't want to be dependent on her. He needed his independence to move forward.
The sound of his front doorbell unnerved him. He knew he was nervous but until that instant he didn't appreciate how much. After gulping down his anxiety, he counted the steps from his chair to the door and opened it.
"Jimmy," An greeted.
He stepped back making room for her to come in and gulped again when she brushed past him, her hand glancing across his thigh. He wasn't prepared for his body's response to her fleeting touch.
An made herself at home in his kitchen. He sat at the counter, directing her to the cabinets where he stored her needed items. "You have more pans than I expected," she teased. "I thought you would be one of those men who eats out al the time."
"I do…did…a lot. But when I have time, I like to cook. It's not that I'm all that good at it… I just get tired of restaurant food."
"Yes, me too. But when it is just one sometimes it seems silly to cook. I do anyway. This is much better," she said happily.
"Cooking in my kitchen?" he asked, not understanding her meaning.
"Cooking for two," she clarified. "or three," she added as she remembered Bill.
Bill offered to clean up the kitchen when the meal was finished. Jim and An went out to his patio. "This is peaceful," she commented.
"Yeah, regular oasis," he agreed. In his mind he could see the trees and shrubs that sat along the perimeter of his backyard, what little there was of it. He hadn't wanted a large yard, too much upkeep, and besides water could be pretty scarce in the desert climate. But he had enjoyed his little patch of green. It reminded him of Jersey and the backyard he grew up in.
He could feel An's gaze on him. Finally she spoke. "Sometimes I miss the green; it was so green in Vietnam."
"Yeah, it was. Where I grew up, it was green too…lots of green." Why were they talking about green, he wondered.
"But you are happier here?" she asked.
Jim considered her question. "Happier? I dunno…more settled, I guess. I was in pretty bad shape by the time I left Jersey. I got to start over out here. It's been good for me."
"The Jimmy Brass I remember thought he could conquer anything."
Jim shrugged. "Yeah, I guess he did. But … he failed at the most important thing he ever tried to do."
"What do you mean?"
He didn't make a wedding happen," he answered sadly.
"Oh…well….it wasn't because he did not try."
"Yeah, he tried," Jim said disdainfully. "But he failed… and now…"
"And now we have found each other again," she finished before he could.
"Yeah… but…"
"No Jimmy. Do not think like that. When I remember of all the years…and the miles… that separated us and to be with you here in this time, it makes me very happy."
"Happy? How can that make you happy? Most women would be pretty pissed at me."
Maybe. But I am not. I have believed in you all of these years…and loved you and now I am happy."
Jim sat, stunned. "How could you believe in me? And…love me? You're saying you still love me?" He was incredulous.
"I did and I do. And my belief was a good one; you saved Mai…and Jimmy and Guy. And when , I gave my heart to you before I gave it all to you…you still have it."
Tears formed in his eyes but he refused to let them drop. How could she still love him, he wondered. But then he paused and reflected on his own feelings. There was a part of him that was still very much in love with her. The question he needed to answer was if he was in love with the An from his youth or the one he knew now. And the more time he spent with her, the more he was accepting that the answer was yes; he loved them both.
"An," he finally said softly. He felt her hand on his, her gentle touch that warmed him. His other hand reached to cover hers and they sat like that for a few minutes, basking in the comfort of one another's presence until finally she spoke. "If…if you wish it, I would like to…"
"To what?" he asked softly when she didn't finish.
"Can I stay with you? Help you while you recover? I want to be close to you."
Internally Jim was in panic mode. He didn't want her taking care of him; he didn't want to need taking care of. And he especially didn't want her to seem him as weak and helpless. On the other hand, it felt good to have someone who cared for him, someone he didn't have to pay, someone who was there because he was important to them. But what would Jimmy think? He asked her how their son would react.
"It might make him angry," she admitted. "But I do not care. I have tried to be careful of his feelings. But I have my own feelings too. And I want to be with you."
"I don't think it's such a good idea, An. As much as I want you here, I think it would be too much too soon…for both of us. And Bill knows how to help me with learning independence."
"Okay," she answered. But Jim could hear the sadness in her voice. "But I will ask again tomorrow and the next day and the next day," she added. "Until we are together."
Although he knew it was good to go slow, something in Jim Brass' heart soared at her declaration. "Maybe we should go back inside," Jim suggested.
"Bill must be in his room," An commented once they were inside. "The lights are low and I do not see him."
Yeah," Jim said as he made his way back to the living room. "I think I wore him out today."
The lightness of An's laughter was sweet music to Jim's ears. After everything life had thrown her, it amazed him that she could still laugh like that.
He felt her beside him. Then gently, she nudged him to sit on the sofa where she settled next to him. What is she doing? He wondered. As she wiggled closer, he grinned to himself. He knew exactly what she was doing. Not wanting to disappoint her, he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her even closer. When he could feel her face on his shoulder he ventured even further, using his free hand to find her chin, lift it, and seek out her lips with his own.
The kiss was tentative at first, primarily because he wasn't sure if he was hitting the intended target. But once he felt her warm lips on his, all the nervousness fell away. Letting go of his hesitancy, Jim let his emotions rule and the kiss quickly accelerated from a somewhat chaste approach to heated, all out desire. Her reaction wasn't disappointing as she matched his fervor. "Let me stay with you tonight," she whispered as the kiss ended.
"An, I don't know," he said breathlessly. "I'm not sure what you are asking and…I don't know if I'm ready if it is what I think you are asking."
"Hold me, Jimmy. Hold me and kiss me and hug me. I don't want to leave you tonight. I want to feel this…this warm and comfort all the time."
His emotions in overdrive, Jim tried to think, to reason why this wasn't a good idea. But all he could think was how good this felt and how much he wanted it too. So taking her hand, he stood, and then led her down the hall to his room.
Hmmm... now what;-)
It is the season for giving. Reviews would be very nice!