The days passed slowly for Jim. He was anxious to get his sight back and although at times he thought he was noticing improvement, he still wasn't able to see anything other than light and dark. As time passed, his frustration grew.
Bill and his therapist had worked with him enough that he was functioning well in his own home. He'd even managed to do a little cooking. An visited everyday and was cooking most of his meals for him though and finally a few days earlier, he'd dismissed Bill. Not having to feel dependent had brightened his mood considerably; enough that he was considering asking An for another date.
They were in his kitchen, talking while An prepared a lunch for them, when he heard knocking at his front door. Carefully he made his way over and called through the door, "Who is it?"
"It is…Jimmy," a voice sounded from outside.
After the younger man's last visit, Jim wasn't sure he really wanted to open the door. Pushing down his anxiety, Jim slowly opened the door. 'Hey," he offered as a greeting.
"I …we would like to come in," Jimmy Trang answered.
"We?"
"I have brought my family… to see you. I know my mother is already here."
"Yes, she is," Jim said as he stepped back to let them in. "She's in the kitchen. We were about to have lunch but…"
"Please," Alicia Trang intervened, "don't let us keep you from eating. We've had ours already though."
Jim turned in her direction, giving his head a slight nod to acknowledge her. He felt a hand on his, too small to be hers. "Mr. Brass…" Mai whispered softly.
Jim's spirits lifted. "Mai?"
"Yes. I came with my parents…and with Vinh."
"Vinh is here too?" Jim asked, confused by the appearance of the entire family.
"I am," the boy replied. "Mama and Daddy said it was time to visit. Mai told me you were hurt bad. I wondered if you were getting better."
Jim smiled. "Much better."
"But you still can't see," Mai commented sadly.
"Not yet…but it is getting better. For instance, I can tell someone is standing in front of the window."
"That's my Dad," Vinh responded.
Jim heard An's footsteps as she moved from the kitchen to the living room. "Jimmy, lunch is…. Oh," she said as she entered the room and saw her son and his family. Jim heard giggles from the children.
"It is rude to laugh," Jimmy Trang admonished.
The children got quiet but Jim was curious. "What were you laughing about?"
"It isn't that funny really," Vinh answered. "It's just that Bai called you Jimmy, like our father."
"Bai?"
"Grandmother," answered Vinh.
"Oh…right," Jim nodded. He felt An move to his side, her arm working into the crook of his elbow. "Why are you here, Jimmy?" she asked.
"Well, I…we…Alicia and I knew you would be here and…," he sighed. "We believe it is time."
"Time?" Jim asked, still confused.
"I've told Alicia. But we…she thought we should all be together when I tell the children… that they will have questions that I might not have the best answers for."
Alarm bells sounded loudly in Jim's head as understanding dawned. "You sure?"
"I am sure," Jimmy stated firmly. "I have… delayed long enough. They should know."
"Know what, Father?" Mai's nervous voice sounded from Jim's right.
"Why don't we all sit down, get comfortable?" Jim suggested.
An sat next to Jim on the arm of his chair. He heard Jimmy and Alicia settle into his sofa. Mai, he knew was next to Alicia but he couldn't tell where Vinh had landed. Then suddenly he felt a small hand on his shoulder. Vinh had climbed on the other arm of his chair.
Jimmy cleared his throat and began speaking. "Mai…Vinh, you know what this man did for us, saving me and especially what he did for Mai. But there is more you should know about this man."
"What?" Vinh asked. Then turning toward Jim he asked, "You're not taking my Daddy away to jail or you?"
Jim chuckled. "No, nothing like that…"
"It's just that…" An spoke up, "a long time ago in Vietnam, I knew Jim Brass."
"You did," Vinh asked excitedly. "You said you were in Vietnam," Vinh directed at Jim.
"I was." Jim replied. "In your grandmother's village, even. I knew her and her brothers and her parents."
Mai quietly joined in. "You were in love, weren't you?" The tone in Mai's voice was full of a pre-teen girl's romantic notions.
Jim reached for An's hand, which he pulled close to him. "I was; we were," Jim affirmed. "But it was the middle of a war and things were difficult."
"But…you were still in love with her?" There was a pause as Jim waited for the puzzle to come together in her mind. "Oh wait…you were the one…you're…"
"My father," Jimmy finished.
The room was eerily quiet for a moment and then Mai began to giggle. "You're my grandfather," Vinh asked from Jim's right.
"I am," Jim said uneasily as the boy fell into his lap, covering him in a hug.
"Awesome!" squealed Vinh.
Jim held Vinh tightly. "Well, it is for me," he told the boy. He heard footsteps and then felt another set of hands…Mai. "Ong," she said softly. Jim reached out, releasing Vinh with his right hand to find Mai. "If that means granddad I like it," he said, tears pooling in his eyes.
"It does," An whispered from his side.
Jimmy Trang watched as his children embraced his father, the man he'd hated all of his life. He studied the expression on Jim's face and realized the man's emotions were genuine. He was happy to be acknowledged by his grandchildren, his Vietnamese grandchildren. And as the man reached around both children, using his huge hands to wrap them in a hug, Jimmy felt the hatred fade away. Alicia had already accused him of being unreasonable, not letting the man have a chance. As Jimmy watched the scene unfolding, he knew she was right.
It was Mai who spoke first. "Why did you leave, Ong?"
Swallowing back his emotions, Jim turned to her, wishing he could see her face. "I was in the Marines. Our unit had been assigned to your grandmother's village." He smiled as he recalled seeing her for the first time. "She was the most beautiful girl in the village," he remembered wistfully. "It took a couple of months to even get her to talk to me and then it was difficult. She didn't know English and my Vietnamese was pretty bad. But we learned to understand each other. And she learned English quickly too," he said proudly. "After a while, I knew I loved her and I applied for permission for us to get married. But my C.O. denied the request," he said darkly. He felt An squeeze his shoulder. Reaching up, he took her hand in his and then continued. "We were pulled out before I could take it any higher. I tried to go back but by then, the country was closed and I couldn't go."
"But you said you did go back," Vinh reminded him.
"I did…but it had been over twenty years. I couldn't find any trace of An."
"So when you were looking for me, you didn't know that I'm your granddaughter?" Mai asked.
"No, I didn't. But… the case was bringing back memories."
Suddenly Mai threw herself back into Jim's arms. "I'm so glad it was you that found me," she cried. "But I wish you didn't get hurt."
Jim held her, his heart warmed by her declaration. "I'm glad I found you too. Having you here like this is worth getting hurt," he told her.
"Can we come see you?" Vinh asked.
"Sure…anytime," Jim replied. "I'd like that. But I hope I'll be spending time with your grandmother… a lot of time," he winked at the boy. Mai giggled. "What?" Jim exclaimed. "You think that's funny?"
"Uh-huh," Mai answered. "You still love her, don't you?"
Jimmy watched as Jim's features softened. "I do," he answered Mai.
It was Alicia who noticed that Jim was getting tired. He insisted that he wasn't and he was so happy with the way things were going, he really didn't feel tired. But An saw it too and agreed with Alicia that they needed to leave and let Jim rest.
"Can we come back tomorrow?" Vinh asked as they walked out the door.
Jimmy looked from his son to his father and replied, "It is alright with me. You'll have to ask your grandfather if he is willing to put up with you."
Jim smiled. "Anytime kiddo…anytime."
Jim and An talked over lunch about the visitors. "They seemed happy…the kids," he told her.
"They are happy. Mai has been worried about you since the hospital and Vinh has talked about you much since you went to their house. He spoke of the police captain who had visited Vietnam."
"How did Jimmy take it? He seemed okay; I mean, I didn't hear anything in his voice…"
"He seems at peace, finally. It has been difficult for him but now that he knows you…and seeing how you were with the children has helped."
Jim reached over the table to take An's hand. "They're great kids. And Jimmy is a good father."
"Yes, a little hard headed at times, but he is a good father… like I believe you would have been if you had the chance."
Somberly Jim sighed. "I had the chance. My daughter, Ellie… she hates me."
"But still, you love her."
"Smiling sadly, Jim nodded. "I do. I keep hoping…" Then squeezing her hand he smiled a happier smile. "But now I have a second chance. I'm going to be the best grandfather…spoil those kids; you'll see. And if Jimmy will let me… I mean, I know it is probably too late for a real father-son kind of thing, but I do want to be there for him."
"He will never say it but he has wished for this all of his life."
They finished eating and Jim helped An with the dishes. Then she turned to him. "You should rest."
"You gonna tuck me in," he teased.
"You are a child that needs to be tucked in?" She shot back.
"I can be if it will get me what I want," he grinned.
"What is it you want Jimmy Brass?"
Suddenly becoming very still, Jim's demeanor softened. "You," he answered softly. He felt her change; become nervous and instantly wished he could take it back. "An," he whispered. "Honey, I didn't mean…"
"I know," she said just as softly. "It is just… it has been so many years since…and there has been no one else for me. And you've…"
Internally, Jim was kicking himself. "Honey, I know the idea of us…of being so …intimate… is kind of scary. Hell, it scares me too. I'm not that kid anymore; my body isn't…well, it's been beat up. And I'm not trying to …I mean, we don't have to…do anything. I just…I want…need to hold you and know this is real."
"So do I," she responded. "But I also want…intimacy. I want to feel that connection that other people talk and write about. I want to feel like we are part of each other."
Jim could hardly breathe. Everything was suddenly very quiet in his house except for the sound of her breathing. "I want that too, Baby." Then reaching for and finding her face, he gently stroked the side of it. "You've been in my heart for over forty years, An. You are a part of me already. I can wait until you are ready…"
He heard her giggle. "What?" he teased.
"You can wait? You are not getting any younger," she scoffed.
Smiling, Jim leaned down and kissed her. "No, I'm not" he replied after the kiss. "But just knowing you are here, with me…" and then he kissed her again, deeper and more passionately.
They had kissed, many times. And An had laid next to him in the bed several times. But this time was different. There were no boundaries, no limits to how far they might go. Jim felt it in her body, her desire for a more physical connection. His own body was screaming it.
He hadn't lied when he told her he was nervous. Physically he wasn't at all like that guy forty years ago. And not being able to see her, gage her responses, was inhibiting. Conversely, the feel of her beneath his fingers was exhilarating, as was the feel of her hands on him.
Time was meaningless, the cocoon of their love making everything else insignificant. For Jim is was as if things were happening in slow motion and full speed at the same time as he relished every touch and reaction, his heart racing at times and quietly floating at others.
He could feel An's apprehension at times. Other times she was composed, fully participating. And when finally she took him in hand and nudged him to her, Jim's chest felt like it would explode. Their bodies joined in a deep kiss, every cell in his body unbelievably aware of her.
For Jim, their consummation was unlike anything he'd experienced before. It confirmed that his feelings hadn't really changed about the woman who was now lying next to him. He lay there blissfully until he heard a sniffle. His heart constricted as fear overwhelmed him. "An? I'm sorry; I didn't mean to hurt you…"
She gasped softly and then her hand went to his face. "No, you did not hurt me…"
"Then why…why the tears?" he asked apprehensively.
"After what those soldiers did to me and the ones on the boat, I was afraid. Although I remembered that you were not like those men, I didn't remember it as being so…"
"You're okay; I didn't hurt you?" he asked, his anxiety lessening even as his anger over her mistreatment was resurfacing.
"No, you did not hurt me. You …it was… beautiful," she said as she settled back into him. "I never imagined it could be so special."
He rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around her and gathering her into his body. "It is you who is special," he whispered. "I love you, An."
"I have always loved you, Jimmy," she said as they both fell into lethargy and then sleep.
When Jim woke a few hours later, he tensed. Something was different. He felt An, still snuggled next to him and then listened to her soft breathing. Tenderly he kissed her bare shoulder, moving her hair as he worked his way into her neck. And then he realized what had changed.
Her hair was still dark, although peppered with gray. Even though there were a few lines from age, her face was very much the face he remembered from before. And she slept with a small smile on her lips. It matched the one growing on his face.
He could see. Things were still blurry but he could see her. As overjoyed as he was to have sight again, he remained still, simply enjoying the sight of her. Realization grew within him that this was something he wanted for the rest of his life, waking to her soft smile.
I decided to leave the details to your imaginations in this one. Hope you enjoyed drawing your own mental pictures, lol. Input sure would be nice; I could use the inspiration! Okay, off to work on the next chapter.