A stage that is known as "Catherine's super kick ass stage for dares" appears in front of you yet again. For the second time the dark room is illuminated brightly. Your focus is turned toward the young teen on stage as she smiles vibrantly.
Cat: So, we actually got dares Jushiro.
Ukitake: *Sweat drops* Actually?
Cat: *Cough* I mean, um, I'm not surprised that this totally awesome fic got reviews and stuff… *Laughs awkwardly*
Ukitake: *Sighing* I'll just read the dares. *Clears throat* First dare from LeafyxThiefy:
^^ This, i gotta say sounds extremely exciting.:D
and since I'm kinda assuming that the dares will be made through Reviewing, please tell me if I'm wrong. I'd like to place in a request.
{Zero's in on Nnoitra} Can we make him wear a pretty pink dress for 24Hours?
Cat: This sounds so fun! All right then; boys bring him out!
Ichigo, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Stark, and Renji are seen carrying in a struggling Nnotria tied to a chair. The duct tape over his mouth is muffling most of his words; all of which are profanities.
Grimmjow: Heh, this is gonna be fun.
Ulquiorra: How is putting a pretty pink dress on Nnotria fun? Trash.
Stark: *Rubbing bridge of nose in annoyance* I just want to sleep…
Cat: I'll go get the dress. And Stark remember; you do this and I'll lock Lillynette in a closet for a whole day so you can sleep peacefully.
Cat walks away to go get said dress; leaving Stark to imagine the wonderful dreams he's going to have, Grimmjow eyeing Nnotria up evilly, Ulquiorra thinking of all the people he's yet to call trash, and Ichigo and Renji bickering about who has more fan girls.
Ichigo: I'm the main character so obviously I would have more!
Renji: But I'm hotter than you, and I have red hair! Gingers always win.
Ichigo: No, they just don't have a soul.
Cat: *Comes back with box and slaps Ichigo upside the head* Jackass, stop hatting on the gingers.
Ichigo: The hell, you are such a bit-, hey what are in the box?
Cat: *Sweat drops* so focused… It's the dress I bought for Nnotria, it's super cute and girly!
Catherine proceeds to open the box as all the men, except for Nnotria, gaze into it. Grimmjow, Ichigo, Renji, and Stark all look amused while Ulquiorra and Ukitake stare blankly at it.
Ukitake: It's uh, interesting… Catherine-san, where did you get this?
Cat: I bought it especially for Nnotria. Now, you lackeys, *motions toward the espada, strawberry and pineapple* get this on him. *Hands them the pale pink V-neck sheath dress, with multiple white frills adorning the bottom hemming*
Nnotria: Flching pot chat o ma andle I fill hou!
Cat: *Translating* Fucking put that on me and I'll kill you! Well then, that was rude. Now here we go, *removes duct tape and rope from Nnotria*.
After much struggling, cursing, and the most disturbing scene ever, the dress had been put on Nnotria. He stands awkwardly as all eyes are on him. The dress is made from extremely strong material so he can't rip it off. And if he tries to take it off, Ulquiorra will cero his ass.
Grimmjow: *Laughing uncontrollably with Renji and Ichigo* Oh my Aizen! You look flipping ridiculous! Oh Aizen, I can't wait to tell everyone in Hueco Mundo about this.
Nnotria: Shut up stupid sexta or I'll cero your face!
Grimmjow: Damn right I'm the sexta, 'cause I put the sex in sexta! Unlike you I don't wear girly pink dresses.
Nnotria: It's not like I wanted to; I was forc-
Cat: All right. Nnotria, your 24 hours starts now, go stand in the corner over there. Stark, I've already taken care of Lillynette so you can go sleep peacefully. The rest of you have to stay for the next dares.
Nnotria grudgingly moves over to the corner, uttering profanities under his breath. Grimmjow and Renji are still laughing like morons while Ichigo stopped; now imagining the horrid things he'll have to do and have done to him in the next dares. Jushiro left to go get the materials for the next dare, leaving Ulquiorra standing in the same spot he's been in. Catherine went to get the next vict-, um characters…
Cat: All right the next dare was by rabbit153:
Lol this is gonna be funny... xD How about... hmmm... Leave everyone (Pairs of 2 with random genders, prefferably opposite genders) In a pitch black room with no light for an hour and see what they do? xD I dun know, I am bad at creating ideas, though I hope you listen to it. (And BTW is the cat Yoruichi?)
Cat: Okay, first off for anyone else who's confused; I'm not Yoruichi; I have put myself (the author of this fic) in the story as a host. Sorry for any confusion. And since I don't have enough time to pair off every bleach character and throw them in a closet, I have picked a select few. Come on out everyone!
Byakuya, Rangiku, Nanao, Unohana, Toshiro, Shunsui, Yoruichi, and Hiyori appear. Jushiro finally comes back, lugging nine portable closets behind him.
Cat: Bout time Jushiro. I decided to kind of throw you guys in randomly, more fun instead of picking my favorite couples to be in together. If I did that Shunsui and Nanao would have been put together. *Shunsui smiles stupidly while Nanao glares at Cat* so then… Umm, I promised Stark that I would have Lillynette locked away for a whole day, which means that Grimmy over there will be with her.
Grimmjow: It's not Grimmy, and like hell I'll be in a cl- *before he is able to finish; Ulquiorra throws him in the already occupied closet, locking the door.
Cat: Thanks Ulquiorra-sama. Continuing on, Shunsui will go in with Rangiku, Toshiro and Hiyori, Byakuya and Yoruichi-
Yoruichi: Hells yeah, come on Byakuya! Ima annoy the hell out of you! *Drags horrified Byakuya in, Ulquiorra locking the door*
Cat: *Sweat drops* sorry Byakuya… Next are Unohana and Nanao, and, oh wait that's it. Okay in you all go~!
After much persuasion/force for most, everyone is in the locked closets.
Ukitake: To keep this moving we have installed cameras in all the closets, which we will watch next chapter. HibiscusAngel15 submitted next dare:
I dare Ichigo to kiss Rukia! XDD
Also, can Ulquiorra dance the Carmelldansen? XD Please?
Cat: This is so exciting~ All right you two, you heard the woman! Due to the fact that she didn't specify how, I'll choose for you.
Rukia: I-I'm uncomfortable with t-this…
Ichigo: Please don't make me do this!
Rukia: *In deathly tone* Are you saying you don't want to kiss me?
Ichigo: I do want to kiss you; I just don't want Byakuya to kill me!
Cat and Rukia: …
Ukitake: Why do you think Catherine-san locked him up?
Ichigo: …Oh…
Cat: You do realize you just admitted that you wanted to kiss Rukia right?
Ichigo: *Staring at Rukia nervously* U-uh, d-d-did I now…?
Rukia and Ichigo: *Gaze into each other's eyes when Rukia grabs Ichigo but the cuff of his shirt and pulls him into a passionate kiss*
Renji, Cat, Ulquiorra, and Ukitake: …
Nnotria: Hot damn! I wanna piece of that!
Cat: *Extremely baffled* I was only going to make him kiss her on the lips… Well sorry Angel, Rukia ended up kissing Ichigo. While those two, *glances over to where the new couple used to be, a note now in place* um, I'll read that then. Any who~ I won't mess up this dare!
Ulquiorra: *with a sigh brings his clenched fists up to his head, facing them outwards as he goes chibi* for letting me throw the annoying trashy sexta in the closet, I will do this for you.
Cat: My God… He's actually gonna do it.
Music plays as he wiggle/bounces his body from side to side, actually smiling in chibi form. It is both awesome and disturbing
Cat: Again~!
Ulquiorra: …No.
Cat: Fine then. Ukitake next dare please.
Ukitake: Hell Reaper submitted this one:
Yo
Ulquiorra: every time you say trash the batman theme song must be played.
Renji: Show everyone all of your tattoos.
Soifon: Give Ichigo a lap dance.
Cat: Hell yeah~!
Ukitake: I don't think Soi-fon is going to agree with this…
Ulquiorra: I agree with the trash.
At Ulquiorra's final word the batman theme song can be heard. He glances around with extreme paranoia, cautiously backing into the corner next to Nnotria.
Cat: Ima keep this dare going for a couple more chaps, it entertains me highly. Now bring out the lovely-but-deadly Soi-fon!
Soi-fon comes out from behind the curtain, and everyone that is in the room (minus cat) is shocked to see her smiling from ear to ear, looking drunk out of her mind.
Cat: *Clearing throat* You see, I anticipated that she would in no way shape or form agree to do this, so I might have convinced Yoruichi to help me out…
Ukitake: And how exactly did she help you out?
Cat: Well you see, I may or may not have asked Yoruichi to drug her food…
Nnotria: This just keeps getting better and better! Bring out that strawberry!
Ulquiorra: For a "man" that is wearing a pink frilly dress, you have a lot of perverted thoughts going in your head. Trash.
Again the batman theme song is played. Ulquiorra, now clearly distraught goes fetal position, mumbling something about "mommy, don't kill daddy" or something of the sorts.
Cat: *Reading note that was left behind by the ice princess and strawberry* Wow… Well we're gonna have to go find those two, and since Ulquiorra is, uh *glances at the once proud cuatro curled up in a ball rocking back and forth* incapacitated, and I don't want to miss a second of Nnotria wearing his dress, I'll send you to get them Jushiro. But for the love of God knock before you enter, knock before you enter.
Ukitake: *Sweat drops* Uh, okay.
Renji: Why couldn't I go?
Cat: While we wait for Ichigo you're going to do your dare. Come on Renji; show us all your tattoos.
Renji begins to slowly undress without a word of disagreement. Many other characters begin to gather in the room, all-curious to see the tattoos.
Gin: Wow, he's 'most com'pletely n'acked.
Hisagi: And people give me a hard time about my tattoo…
Shinji: There goes his hakama! Wow, they do go everywhere.
Isane: O-oh my…
Yachiru: Ken-chan~ what's under fake-eyebrows boxers?
Kenpachi: Nothing you wi'll ever need to know 'bout.
Renji reaches for the top of his boxers as everyone watches on with anticipation, except for Yachiru whose eyes are covered by one of Kenpachi's hands.
Cat: Okay! Stop it right there!
Renji: But you said all-
Cat: *Blushing* W-well, I-I didn't think, you know… You would have them th-there!
Renji: Fine *begins to dress self*
Everyone: Aww!
Ukitake: *Walks in with Ichigo and Rukia, both sets of hair are in a tangled mess and Rukia's clothes are on backwards* what did I miss?
Cat: I should be asking you the same thing.
Ichigo and Rukia: We didn't do anything!
Cat: Whatever… Okay sit right here Ichigo, *pats random chair* you're going to like this next dare.
Ichigo: *Cautiously* Okay…
Soi-fon appears again, now dressed in sexy lingerie, which she took the time to buy while Renji was putting on a show. Everyone's jaw hits the floor as she climbs toward Ichigo, slinking across the floor in a sexual way. She gets to his chair and straddles him. The next five minutes are too graphic to put on a T-rated fic. The end results are a pissed off Rukia, disturbed Cat, turned on Nnotria, passed out Ichigo, and startled Ukitake.
Nnotria: Hey, come over here.
Soi-fon: Sure thing *Goes to corner with Nnotria, giving him the same treatment*
Cat: Next dare please!
Ukitake: *Consoling traumatized Cat* There, there, shh. Just forget about everything that happened.
Gin: Well since I'm par't o' da next dare, I'll go'ahead an read it. By ReaperShizuka:
I dare Ulquiorra to tckle Gin. He has to laugh, too. :3
Gin: Come on Ulqui' stop being all cur'led up an t'ickle meh~
Ulquiorra: *Composing self* If I must.
Ulquiorra proceeds to tickle Gin until he cries from laughing so hard. It is a cute moment that brings Cat out of her misery.
Cat: All right then. Well come back next chapter to see what happened in the closet, and join us next time for~
Cat and Ukitake: Bleach dares!