We spent only ten minutes on language.
"I suppose you could be worse," Galinda sighed, leaning over the notes I'd spread across my lap and correcting with her own quill. "You've still got a long way to go, though, an awfullylong way," she concluded, pulling back and folding up her own paper. I sighed.
"Just because I haven't spent eighteen years perfecting unnecessary social skills does not mean I have been wasting my time –"
"- oh Elphie, no, you mustn't think I'm being mean about this," she chided, patting my knee and making me squirm away. "I'm just being, well, frank with you, you know? Momsie always said that really is the only way to improve things. It'll be worth it once we're through. You'll be so much better at everything. Not a bit like you were – well, are."
"Oh, well, thank Oz for that," I muttered, sensing a return of old-Galinda. She only laughed, setting the quills and pads back on her desk.
"Really, Elphie. There's nothing to stop you, not when you've got me."
She skipped over to her wardrobe now, humming a tune from the Ozdust as she went. I tucked my knees up on her bed and settled my head on them, bracing myself for what might be coming. Please Oz, let it not be make-up…
"…oh no, Galinda!" I burst out, unable to stop myself as she wheeled around with arms full of tell-tale bottles, tubes, and brushes. "It's not worth it – for Oz's sake, look at me! No amount of make-up's going to change this –"
"Shh, Elphie," she soothed, advancing on me with the flattest of bottles, a monster of a brush brandished in one hand. "I'll be very quick, I promise – oh no, don't you try and run away again -!"
I had made a dash for the door, grabbing at the handle with both hands. Maybe I'd hide out in the library for the night. Galinda made a sound like an angry Lion cub, dropping all her weapons with a clatter and throwing herself at me.
"Galinda, quit that, let me go -!"
"- you let the door go!" she squealed, and I did, slapping her hands away. She threw me back onto the bed; I collapsed with a flump, arms flailing. Oz-damnit.
"Galinda –"
"Not one more word from you, Miss Thropp. This is serious, now."
She unscrewed something long and scarlet in her free hand.
"Whenever I make someone over, Elphie," she said, pressing the cool tip of the lipstick against my mouth. "I always make sure to remind them how most of today's high society people got where they are now –"
"- brains," I tried to say, and then spluttered, as lipstick jabbed my tongue. "– and – and knowledge –"
"No, no, Elphie," she smiled, shaking her head. "That's just it. Popularity is what it's all about, these days. The way you're viewed, the way people see you. It's the outside that absotively matters most."
"Hence why you are currently shoving a sour, solidified stick of red dye into my mouth."
She smothered giggles, reaching to muss my hair affectionately. I ducked.
"It's called lipstick, Elphie, and it's not red, it's Slickly Seductive Rosehip…"
"Tastes as bad as it sounds."
"You're not supposed to eat it, silly," she giggled. "Here – copy me."
She stretched her lips in a ridiculous, taut sort of way. I tried to copy. The lipstick glided back and forth, coating my lips in its wet, sticky substance. Ugh,how revolting.
"That's better," Galinda smiled, pulling back and whipping something black out of a pot this time. I touched my lower lip with one finger and examined it suspiciously. Who in Oz had been deranged enough to spend their life developing a product like this? What a waste of time.
"Now, Elphie, we need to do mascara."
"Mask-ah-what?"
She sighed, sinking down onto the bed beside me this time and reaching to cup my chin – I darted sideways, but she caught hold and clung on.
"It's called mascara, Elphie,and I refuse to believe you have never heard of it. Even Fiyero would know what mascara was."
Hm. "Low blow, Galinda."
She frowned, obviously trying to work out whether I'd insulted her boyfriend or not – seemed to decide that I hadn't – then flourished a bristled black spidery-thing at me instead. What in Oz? Before I could ask, she dived forward, catching my eyelashes. I blinked frantically, jerking away.
"Elphie." She yanked me back. "You must stay still!"
On dolloped the black liquid, making my lashes clumpy and uncomfortable. Galinda sighed in satisfaction.
"There. That's better."
She whipped out a pencil then, and drew all around my eyelids, till I was certain I must look like a Panda. Eye-shadow came next – which wasn't in fact shadowy at all, but came in all different sickly pastels – followed by blusher. Foundation was, thank Oz, impossible.
"You dohave awful cheekbones," Galinda murmured, as she applied the finishing touches to my lashes with a chunk of metal that looked like some sort of torture tool. "All pointed out andbony. But you dohave a nice long neck, except it's so thin. Just like your chin. Oh dear. You do seem very pointy, don't you?"
It was probably the closest thing to a compliment I'd ever received, and I said as much. She laughed.
"Everyonewill be complimenting you from now on, Elphie. I'll make sure of it."
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I'm sure Avaric will be just spellbound."
"He should be." She dragged something damp through my eyebrows, shaping them. "Now, just let me finish these up for you…there we go. All done. Up you get, Elphie!"
She took me by the shoulders, pushing the make-up to one side and pulling me up. Her eyes were alight with some new idea.
"Now, I'll show you how to toss your hair!"