Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto :( If I did…KANKURO WOULD BE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT TO THE STORY! And Gaara would have an eyebrow episode. I wanna know what he'd look like with eyebrows **mental image** EW NO MAKE IT GO AWAY ITS WEIRD LOOKING.

The Naruto childrens are around 17. the Naruto childrens are older….I guess that would mean Neji and Ten-ten are 18 or 19….THEY CAN LEGALLY GET MARRIED? **spazzes**

"So? Yeah, I remember." I grumbled.

"….Really?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"WHAT?"

"Nothing. You're grounded for a week, though."

"DAMMIT! KAKASHI! You better tell me what you meant!" I leapt at him, and he turned around to try and fend me off, but he was too late. Just by a little, but it was enough. I smashed into his chest, and knocked him hard onto the floor. There was actually a crack in the wooden floor. Straddling him, I started yelling.

"You answer me, Kakashi, I'm almost seventeen, I want an answer, and you would do damn well to give it to me. I'm obviously strong enough to knock you over."

I stood up, and shoved him out of my room, and slammed the door shut in his face. Turning around, I stomped across the floor, ignoring the crack. I threw myself on my bed, fully planning to be an angsty teenage girl until he cracked.

Ugh. This is hell.

HELL I TELL YOU!

I lay upside down on the arm chair, my hair dangling to the floor, my feet reaching towards the ceiling. Staring blankly at the TV screen, I could feel my brain melting to cartoonized mush. Oops…and there it goes, comically leaking out of my ears to entertain 5 year olds on Sunday morning.

I started to channel surf. AGAIN.

*click*

"And next on Degrassi-" The TV said in a seductive girl's voice.

"EW! NO! KILL! IT! KILL IT!"

*click*

"Are Mike and Snooki really doing the dirty deed? Find out next on Jersey Shore-"

"MAKE IT STOP!"

*click*

"WHAT THE FUCK? I'M A FUCKING GINGER! HOLY SHIT!"

I relaxed as Cartman spazzed about his newfound ginger appearance, and wiggled to get a little more comfortable in my upside down position.

I reached out to turn up the volume, when the remote disappeared, along with the images on the TV.

"What the hell-KAKASHI!"

He stood beside me, looking down at me. I tried to lunge at him, but only succeeded in snapping the recliner shut and plummeting to the floor.

*CRACK*

Oh great. That's the second crack in the floor in the last 24 hours, I thought angrily to myself.

"What're you doing home, Kakashi? It can't possibly be for lunch, since lunch is at 11:30 and it's well past noon."

"Well, you see, I had to help an elder-"

"An elderly woman carry her groceries home, I know, I know." I cut him off, and finished his line, rubbing my head and stalking off to the kitchen. I knew he'd be at least an hour late. That's why I only started lunch 20 minutes ago.

I made plates of rice, dumplings, and my special takoyaki recipe, handed down from my great-grandma. I handed him his, along with chopsticks.

"Itadakimasu!" He said cheerily, and I glared at him, keeping my angsty promise-to-self.

"Itadaki-freaking-finally-masu." I snapped, and promptly grabbed the remote and stomped back into the living room with my plate.

Dropping onto Kakashi's fancy suede couch, (the man has good taste. I'll give him that) I turned Cartman back on-Oh look dead Kenny.

Stabbing a takoyaki ball with my chopstick, I stuck it in my mouth and put my hair up in pigtails to get it out of my way. And then Kakashi took my remote again.

"HEY YOU SHTOOPID WITTLE-gulp-YOU STUPID LITTLE PRICK! GIMME THAT BACK!"

"Good girls watch TV. Bad girls get punished." He said in complete and utter seriousness.

"Pedophile."

"Really?" he sighed, exasperated.

"You said it in such a perverted way, Kakashi. I couldn't have perceived it with any other context than a sex joke or a pedophile reference."

He sighed, and stuffed the remote in his weapons pouch.

"Jerk."

"Back to the kitchen, you problem child."

"I'M NOT A PROBLEM CHILD!"

Instead of answering, he just pointed at the large crack in his floor. And the bright purple stain on my (okay. His. But its mine now. Muahaha) previously handsome blue recliner. And the doorless balcony.

"Okay, the sliding door isn't completely my fault. You really shouldn't have let me bring any dogs in here, let alone Pakkun, who finds it one of his personal goals in life to annoy the shit outta you-"

"Quiet. Eat." He said, tiredly.

I admit it. I work that poor man to death. He really doesn't deserve all the crap I put him through-Oh no he did not.

"KAKASHI HATAKE YOU PUT THAT PORN AWAY! RIGHT NOW! THIS IS TIME FOR FOOD! NOT THAT SMUT!"

"It's not porn. It's romance." He obliged, stuffing it away in his weapons pouch. How much crap can he fit in that little thing?

"I'm well aware of what it is, Kakashi. You don't hide your books too well. Under your mattress isn't very original, y'know."

"Okay. I'll give you that one. Oh, and you know what? You're grounded for another week, y'know." And he poofed away. Along with the remote.

"DAMMIT KAKASHI! DON'T TAKE THE REMOTE YOU KNOW I'M TOO LAZY TO PUSH THE BUTTONS ON THE TV! KAKASHI!"

I slammed open the front door of his penthouse door (the man is loaded) and was about to dash out when I was slammed backwards, as if I ran into an elastic-y brick wall.

"What the hell?"

I peered warily out the front door.

Bastard but a sealing jutsu on the entire fucking apartment, didn't he?

Kōhī's P.O.V.

I bent down and opened the oven, and a wall of baking heat hit me.

Wow. My face is going to melt off.

I snatched the cookie pan off of the oven rack, and quickly dropped it on the counter. I called for Natsūme as I ran my scorched fingers under the faucet.

I refuse to use oven mitts that aren't Italian made. I blatantly refuse.

"NATSŪME ! If you want any cookies, you better move your butt! They're red and everything!"

Silence.

Well that's weird….My red lava cookies usually get her running. Even during circumstances that include a fatal injury.

Okay. Something's up.

I glanced out the window, where Neji stood guard by the door. I already knew Shino was at the back door of the apartment.

Holy shuriken. We get grounded and Tsunade uses that as grounds to imprison us with Jonin guards. She didn't even give us a fighting chance. We don't have Ijōna here to run the main offense, since I'd be the defense and Natsūme would be a distraction and beat the living bejeezus outta them. Hmmm….Ijōna would probably go for Neji first, and blindfold him, then knock out Shino…Or she could do it in reverse, but no, Neji would notice if Shino's chakra levels flat-lined when she knocks him out…

And if Neji tried to get at her I'd block him with the earth shields…but he'd break through those with his Kaiten.

CAZZO!

(a/n its Italian. She only cusses in Italian)

Knowing better than to even bother offering Neji or Shino any cookies, I shoveled them onto a plate and grabbed two sodas, and heading in Natsūme's half of the apartment.

I checked her sunroom, den, and bathroom, but there was no sign of her.

"Nekoooooo-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" I called, "Here kitty kitty!"

I rounded the corner, and was face-to-face with an ANBU mask.

"Uhh… Kon' ichiwa, nin-sama." I said, bowing as best could with a plate of cookies and sodas. Kitty mask just nodded. I knew she was a woman, because her ANBU tattoo was on her right arm, unlike Kakashi's whose was on his left arm. Ijōna had shown me his tattoo one night while I crashed at her house and Kakashi had stumbled in, drunk and being stalked by a drunker Izumo and Kotetsu, and a somehow even drunker Tsunade. Ah, we messed with them so much. We even have photographic evidence of Izumo and Kotetsu being drunken yaoi. Ijōna wouldn't stop forcing them to make out, even after Kakashi had collapsed on his couch with laughter.

The next day Natsūme tried to kill us because she hadn't been there to see how wasted they were. Hence the photographs.

But back to the point.

"Can I see Natsūme –chan?"

Miss ANBU mask shook her head.

"Why not?"

Silence.

"Fine. But…ummm….how many of you are in my house, exactly?"

"Seven," she said, in a sharp, clipped voice.

"No need to get snippy, miss kitty-mask-faced-person. One… Two… uh… I only see three besides you…" My eyes drifted towards the ceiling, but ANBU face shook her head.

"One is in the room, the other two are outside."

ANBU face went back to Natsūme's door, and sat down, refusing to speak anymore.

"Lemme go in. I made her food."

Silence.

"Fine, meanie." I stuck my tongue out at her, and stomped back into the kitchen, and out the front door. I sat on the stairs, next to where Neji stood, and shoved the can of soda into his face without looking at him. He didn't take it, so I turned to glare at him.

"The ANBU lady in there ticked me off. You can either cooperate, or I'll kick your but to Suna."

I kept the can in his face, but turned to glare forwards.

"You're not supposed to leave the house, you imbecile."

"Naruto is the imbecile, Mr. Funny-British-accent. Now take the soda, eat a cookie, and be nice before you find yourself buried under three feet of sand."

He took it.

Ijona P.O.V.

After an hour of searching, I finally found Kakashi's seal. Sneaky little pervert painted it under my shuriken-shaped rug. I don't even want to know when he came into my room.

Scrubbing the floor, I could sense the seal around the house fading and shimmering away. How I hadn't noticed it before, I had no idea.

I decided to sneak out the skylight, since Kōhī had sent the message mouse over. She had Neji and Shino guarding them, and seven ANBU in the house. She couldn't even get into Natsūme's room to see her. And if they had that many people watching them, my front door was obviously being watched.

I unlatched the ceiling window, focusing my chakra so I wouldn't fall like an idiot. I slipped out the roof, and latched it shut again. I stood up, stretched, and turned around to see the village I had been grounded from for a week and a half.

But Shika-freaking-maru Nara was in my freaking way.

Dammit.