Also co-written with Kiri-kohai. Who's well on her way to being Kiri-chan. :)

Disclaimer: Neither I or Kiri own this awesomeness known as Naruto. **sighs sadly**

"Uhhh….." Shika stalled, obviously searching for a good excuse in that pineapple headed brain of his.

Suddenly, Kakashi interrupted.

"We should get going soon. Tomorrow morning, before the sun's too high in the sky."

"Kakashi! I was trying to get an answer-"

"Too bad. Time for bed." And then he picked me up, grabbed Sakura by the back of her shirt, and started to walk off. Damn him and his fatherly attitude.

I tried to wiggle out of his grip, but it didn't work, Sakura was fighting too, but was having even less success than I was. He dumped us in another room, which had four beds, one of which had Moko-chan's stuff strewn all over it, but had obviously not been slept in.

Not saying she's don't anything, but I don't think she's slept anywhere but Gaara's bed. Not that anything's happened, but a sort of cuddling thing is probably going on. She's more responsible than we are, and we haven't done anything.

He closed the door, and Sakura started laughing so hard she almost collapsed on the floor.

"That….was so….hahahahahaha…HILARIOUS!" She howled, cracking up all over the place.

"What?" I was just the tiniest bit confused at why she was laughing so hard, so of course I was curious. "Tell me, now!" I demanded. I hated being left out, and when I was left out, someone tends to end up hurt in some way. Especially if whatever's going on is obviously about me.

"That…hahaha…were fighting over you….AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHY! BAHAHAHAHAHA!" She was literally screaming with laughter. She was acting so crazy; I don't understand why I don't like her.

"Yeah I don't know why. I've been locked up for a week. AND I'm blonde. I'm not supposed to be smart."

This launched her into another fit of giggles.

"I will hurt you."

She sobered up slowly, but at least she was calming her little girly self back down.

"Both of them have liked you for forever."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah! And they were worried as hell the entire time you were gone. They've been on edge for a week. Annoying as hell when we're all in the desert, too."

"Then why does Shika-kun always call me troublesome? He didn't even want to take the job to watch me for Kakashi!"

"Kakashi asked me to watch you. Shikamaru interrupted us on the street, and actually volunteered to do it. Because I was 'overloaded with work' apparently. Not that he's ever cared before. And calling you troublesome? He calls everyone troublesome. And he calls you troublesome affectionately. It's his pet name for you. Just like you call him Shika."

I stared blankly. "And Kiba?"

She rolled her eyes, replying in a shouldn't-that-be-obvious voice, "Haven't you ever noticed how protective he is over you? Like a… Uhh… a puppy and its master!"

"…Do you have any idea how perverted that sounds?"

"Yeah, but it's not supposed to be. It's actually really cute."

"I don't care, it still sounds fucking creepy…"

"You seriously hang around Kakashi-sensei and his stupid Icha Icha books too much…"

"Weeeell… he is kinda my adopted dad…"

She rolled her eyes and playfully punched my arm. It took all I had not to punch her back… but not as playfully… and not in the arm…more like in the facial area.

And hard.

Vehemently, viciously, and BRUTALLY. Punch her. In the face.

I just couldn't stand her stupid girly attitude. How Naruto ever put up with it was beyond even me.

I yawned rather loudly as I said-or at least attempted to say, "I'm goin to bed… I call the one in the corner!" I jumped- literally, jumped- onto the bed, passing out almost instantly. That stupid drug did more to me than I thought.

-Next day-

I hate- no, scratch that… LOATHE- Sakura. She fucking woke me up at the butt crack of dawn by opening the curtains in the room, letting in the oh-so-pleasant sunshine. I heard birds singing, something I didn't expect in the desert.

Birds in the morning. How quaint. How sweet. How cute. How utterly fucking annoying.

I yanked the covers over my head, because I was warm and snuggly and didn't want to move. But oohh noooooo….We couldn't have that, now could we? Sakura grabbed my feet, and started yanking on the comforter. When that didn't work, she just yanked the whole burrito-me off the bed and dropped me on the floor. Then she ran out of the room and I chased after her, realizing far too late that she had changed me into my pajamas at some point during the night, which was really just one of Kakashi's oversized sweatshirts. That and a pair of short shorts. As I skidded to a stop, I had already run into a room where everybody was. I froze, and stood awkwardly in very little clothing.

"Good morning!" I chirped, flushing. I tried to ignore Kiba, who was all but drooling like a dog in heat, and Shika, who was pointedly looking away, his entire face red. Kakashi had his hand exasperatedly on his face, like he'd face-palmed himself. Naruto was staring, like his little perverted self. I walloped him in the head with the nearest throw able object, which happened to be a large clay paper weight. I'm pretty sure I broke his nose.

"Ummm…." Kiba stuttered nervously, "H-hey, Ijōna…"

Kankuro, who just happened to want to say something stupid, said "Woah… Hello there… you do know your hair's a total mess, right?"

I walked up and just slapped him in the face. "Thank you Captain Obvious… What else do you think I'll look like after I've been woken up by a pink-haired, girly-ass, fucking Sasuke-loving bitch who thinks she's all that and more?"

Kankuro made sure to shut up after that. His eyes got wide and he slowly backed up, hiding a little behind Temari.

"Smart, puppet-boy," Temari scoffed at him. I glared at him, before I realized he was looking me up and down. Slowly too… So I obviously had no choice but to jump forward (Temari helpfully moved out of my way) and smashed hard into his chest with my shoulder. He flew backwards, and we smashed into the wall. I rebounded back, and skidded backwards on the sandy floor, before standing up and calmly brushing myself off. He was still rolling around on the floor, moaning in pain.

I squatted down next to him, and licked my thumb. I rubbed my finger down his face, deliberately screwing up his face paint, straight down his forehead to his nose.

(a/n Kankuro has his pre-time skip face paint. The kind during the Chunin exams.)

I wiped my hand on his black tunic thing, and stood up again.

"We can all keep oogling me, or you can shut your jaws and keep all the pretty teeth you're showing me," I snarled.

Kiba opened his mouth to say something (Probably being 'protective' like Sakura was blathering about last night) when Kakashi hit Naruto (who was still oogling me with a retarded look on his face) so hard I heard a tooth crack.

"Holy shit." Was all Kiba said, instead of what he was going to say. Or maybe he was going to say that, but now he meant it about the cracking-tooth instead of my (lack of) clothes. While Sakura groaned and went over to fix a wailing Naruto and scold Kakashi, I walked out of the room to go back and change.

I was halfway down the hall when I heard Shikamaru say something about needing to use the bathroom. The door opened behind me, and I heard it close again. He followed me quickly down the hallway, catching up with me.

Okay, Sakura's right. If he's actually trying to catch up to me using energy, he's gotta like me.

"You okay?" he asked, worried.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You did smash into Kankuro pretty hard. You didn't hurt your shoulder did you?"

"No. I didn't."

"Oh…"

"So…umm…Shika…"

"Hmmm?"

"Sakura…kinda…sorta…told me…that…ummm…." I nervously looked at my feet as I trudged down the hallway, not exactly sure how to put what I wanted to say into words.

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow, waiting with an idle expression on his face for me to finish.

"She said… well… that you… l-like me…" the last part was whispered to where Shika could possibly only barely hear.

I guessed that he did hear, because his face became slightly pink, but he still asked, "What did you say?"

Of course… he would make me say it again… Rather quickly, I said again, "!"

Shika seemed to definitely get it that time. His expression: blank. With slightly red cheeks.

He only said, "Ummm… wow…" before there was an awkward silence.

Unfortunately, I took that the wrong way and just muttered, "This is why I hate Saku-frickin-ra!" before running back to my room, angry at myself for even mentioning what Sakura told me to Shikamaru, of all people! I'm pretty sure that if I told Kiba, he'd glomp me and try to kiss me right away.

I'm a teenage girl with raging hormones. It's obviously what I want. Someone as smart as Shika-kun should know that. I mean, GEEZ! What else should he expect! A signed invitation?

When I got to my room, Sakura was nowhere in sight, so I slammed the door… HARD… and it consequently fell off the hinges. I really didn't care about the door, but I picked it back up anyways and set it against the frame. I stomped over to my bed, and picked up the pile of crap Sakura had brought for me to wear. At least it was actually MY stuff and wasn't PINK. I changed into a pair of black leggings, and pulled off the old sweatshirt. I was halfway through yanking on my dark blue tunic dress thing, when my arm got stuck.

"Dammit….miffer…..retarded….I HATE DRESS THINGIES!" I yelled, and almost ripped the silky fabric apart. My arm twisted behind my head, the other straight up. I looked like some sort of demented go-go dancer. It was embarrassing. I wiggled back and forth, trying to shimmy the damn thing down.

*knock*

Whoosh

*crash*

The door crashed to the floor, and a resounding thud echoed throughout the building.

Shikamaru was standing in the doorway, hand raised like he'd knocked on the door, which he obviously had, because it was sitting casually on the floor. I shrieked, and ripped my arms out of the dress to cover my chest. Shika turned cherry red, eyes wide, and whipped to turn the other way.

I grabbed another shirt, and launched for the bed in the corner, which was conveniently out of the way of the door. I quickly put this shirt on, because for some reason everything goes easier when awkward.

I hate karma. I must have been reeeeeally bad in another life.

I jumped off the bed, and yanked the ends of the tunic down, and realized it was like Sakura's old one from when we were kids, but dark blue with the Uzumaki symbol on it like Chunin vests.

Really? Really. That's….just…awesome. (Sarcasm. Obviously. This is where I roll my eyes.)

I walked to the doorway, and nervously cleared my throat. "Heeey….Shika…"

Wow I say that a lot. Strange.

Shika cautiously turned around, afraid I was gonna pummel him for seeing me as I was changing. He seemed very relieved when I didn't.

"Hey Ijōna, sorry about that. I really didn't know that would happen," he said awkwardly, gesturing to the door that was now on the ground. I just noticed a small crack in it from when I had slammed it. Whoopsie…

"Pfft," I waved it away like it was nothing. "Its fine Shika… it's actually my fault for that. Need to learn to… control… my anger towards things other than doors or people." I laughed nervously, not exactly sure what to say next.

"Yeah…so about what you said earlier…"

"Oh-um….it was nothing. Just something Sakura said last night that I took too seriously."

"But-"

"But what, Shikamaru?" I actually used his full first name, something I rarely do. I'm just pissed off, exasperated, and really wish it had been Kiba who had 'needed to use the bathroom' and stalked me down the hall.

"I-"

"You what? I could see I embarrassed you. It's fine."

"Ijōna-"

"What?"

"If you would just give me a minute to freaking talk and explain-"

"You don't need to explain, Shikamaru!" I turned around, desperately in need of a place to hide for an hour. And cry. Or something equally helpful in letting out frustration. My back was facing him, and I was ready to storm off, when he grabbed me by the arm. I tried to twist out of his grip, but that only spun me to face him. He jerked me to face him, and I growled like a feral cat. I was about to kick him in his "nether regions" when he grabbed my other arm and pulled me into a warm embrace.

"Shika-what're you-"

"Shut up." He growled, and then crushed his lips onto mine. My eyes went wide and I didn't know what to think. One second, I was furious at Shika for something I don't even remember anymore and now I'm kissing him? I have a seriously messed up life…

But I can't say I'm not liking it.

I kissed him back, slowly moving my arms from where they were being crushed by how hard he was hugging me, to wrap them around his neck. I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment to the fullest.

I felt his arms slip slowly around my waist, pulling me closer (if that was even possible) to him, deepening the kiss even more. Nothing could ruin this perfect moment.

Except…

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

That. Of course those two just had to show up, at this moment of all times.

Shika and I pulled away quickly, both of our faces flushed, trying to hide it from the angry Kiba and even angrier Kakashi. We were screwed. Big time.