DATE: JAN. 31 (TUESDAY)
TIME: 03:14 PM
RETURNING HOME FROM SCHOOL
COUNTDOWN: 15 DAYS

The bus pulls up to the usual stop. Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Charlie get off, and it drives away. The kids begin to walk home, and Charlie hurries forward to catch up with Kyle.

Charlie: Hey Kyle?

Kyle: Yeah…?

Charlie (smiling): Do you think we could play later? I saw this cool—

Cartman, who stands behind them, interrupts with a taunt.

Cartman: Kyle and Charlie sittin' in a tree! [They both start glaring at him.] K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then off come the clothes, then—

Kyle: Shut up, Cartman!

Cartman: Kyle likes Charlie because she's butch, and Charlie likes Kyle because he's effeminate!

Kyle: I SAID TO SHUT UP, FAT-ASS!

Cartman: It's a match made in heaven!

Kyle lets out a loud groan of irritation.

Charlie: Why do you have to be so mean to Kyle and me?

Cartman: Because I hate you guys, and you're assholes. [He yawns.] Now to head home for some triple-decker pancake surprise…

He walks away. Charlie and Kyle look at each other again.

Charlie: So anyway, do you want to play later at—

Cartman (leaping behind them again): Jew and the Lesbian sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S—

Kyle (extremely annoyed): God, don't you ever shut up?

Cartman (in a mocking tone): Bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh!

Kyle: Can I even go one day without having to deal with you * [At this point, Cartman begins to talk over him] acting like a fucking asshole every time I try to talk to somebody? Shut up! I said SHUT UP, YOU FAT FUCKING FAGGOT!

*Cartman: Jew and the Lesbo sittin' in a tree! F-U-C-K-I-N-G!

Partway through this argument, Charlie rolls her eyes, sighs, and walks away.

Cartman (reacting to Kyle's final comment): Don't call me a faggot, Kike!

Kyle: Don't call me a kike, fat-ass!

Cartman: Why not? You're Jewish, so you're a kike.

Kyle: That's a racial slur, and I'm not going to stand here and listen to you belittle my people!

Cartman: Well I'm not going to stand here at all! Screw you, Kike; I'm going home!

Cartman stomps away. Kyle glares after him.

Kyle: FAT FAGGOT!

Cartman (shouting back at him): Hook-nose!

Kyle glowers for several seconds as Cartman (presumably) continues walking away.

Kyle: What a fat piece of shit. One of these days I'm gonna—[He suddenly realizes that Charlie has left.]—Oh, fuck.