WOW! I can't believe how many people added this to their favorites! I thought I was a terrible writer! LOL. I was merely doing this for personal amusement, but since so many of you want me to continue so much, I SHALL. Thank you all.
BTW…. this chapter actually got sort of….ridiculous? I think I was running out of inspiration at some point, or maybe I was just really tired. Sorry.
To say that the flight back to Avengers Mansion was awkward would be a huge understatement. Loki was stuck sitting between Hawkeye and Captain America, both of which would not stop staring at his new hair. Captain "Friendly and Righteous" made several efforts to start a conversation with Loki, but Loki only responded with a dead-pan look of absolute boredom. And then there was Tony. Loki believed that Tony Stark had to be the most infuriating, crude, pig-of-a-man that he'd ever know; and that's quite the title considering all the years Loki spent with Thor.
"Sooo," the Iron Man was saying, "Is ALL your hair orange now?" he asked with a very raunchy grin on his face, and a waggle of his eyebrows. Loki had probably rolled his eyes more today than ever before.
"Oh yes, as I recall, you have *thing* for red-heads." Loki retorted. Clint did his best to stifle a giggle.
"Or maybe I just have a thing for fiery-red pubes." Tony shrugged, but was still wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Clint didn't bother to cover his laugh now.
"Is that why the only women who hang around you have red hair?" Loki glanced in Natasha's direction. She didn't seem to be paying them any attention. But Clint looked offended,
"HEY. That's MY fiery red-head!" he stated while pointing at himself.
"Is she really? How can you be sure that Tony hasn't tasted her fiery pubes?" Loki decided he could be just as crude as Tony, and would. Clint's mouth dropped open then he glared fully at Tony.
Tony threw his hands up in defense,
"WHAT? Are you nuts? Natasha would rather de-bowel me than let me touch her." He sounded a little hysteric.
Clint nodded in agreement; he felt he knew Natasha well enough to believe Tony. Loki was let down, he had wanted to see Tony get shot with an arrow, now he'd have to try something else. Steve suddenly sighed,
"Can we talk about something else?" There was a slight blush on the mans' face; obviously Mr. Goodie-Two-Shoes didn't talk about sex much. Loki decided to have fun with that,
"Jealous, Steven? Well we can talk about your women, if it'll make you feel better. What kind of women do you like?" He turned in his chair to face Steve.
"Uh…well, I…NO, that's not what I meant." He was stuttering, now that he'd been put in the spot, "I don't want to talk about women at all!" He finished.
Loki raised his eyebrows, doing his best to look interested,
"Oh? No women? Men then?" he gave a sly grin. Steve's whole face turned red, all the way down his neck and into his shirt. Loki chuckled,
"So it is men. And what kind of men do you like? Just don't say Tony Stark, please." Loki made sure to say Tony's name with no emotion and Tony let out a gasp, putting on a farce of being offended.
Before Steve had a chance to say anything Bruce landed the jet, and Steve made his escape. Tony laughed,
"Why ya gotta tease the poor man? Don't you know he's too innocent for these kinds of conversations?" He was walking along side Loki as they went into the house. Loki shrugged,
"I have to entertain myself somehow."
"Well, they have invented things for that, ya know. It's called TV, or video games. Or hell, painting, if you want! Point being, there are a lot of things to "entertain yourself" with that don't involve putting others in misery and pa…"
Loki pretended to yawn immensely, "Bored now." And with that he darted around a corner and was gone. Tony sighed and went to the kitchen for some coffee.
Loki spent some time going through every room in the mansion, including all the bedrooms. He easily identified which room belonged to which superhero simply by the contents of said room. When he came across Tony's he lingered a little longer, making sure to rummage through Tony's belongings and mess with anything that he could. He found a bottle of vinegar under Tony's bathroom sink -why it was there he didn't care to know- but he filled a small plastic cup with it and placed Tony's toothbrush, head down, into the cup and then left it by the sink. He smiled to himself as he left the room. He finally entered Thor's room and immediately wanted to run away from it. Thor had obviously taken the time to personalize his room. The décor was almost exactly like his room back in Asgard, complete with plenty of gold, leather, and fur. Along with that, Loki found something that was slightly more disturbing; Thor had wooden shelves lining the wall to the right of the grand bed and upon these shelves were his and Loki's favorite toys from when they were children. Anything from little cloth warrior figures, to glass horses, and wooden swords were neatly sitting on the shelves. Why would he keep such things?, Loki wanted to ask Thor. He also wanted to smash every single, stupid, little memory that was offending him from upon said shelf. The bathroom door was suddenly thrown open, making Loki jump out of his skin, and Thor emerged from the steam while rubbing a towel through his golden hair. He glanced up, looking surprised, but relaxed when he saw that it was only Loki,
"Oh! Brother. I see you found our room." He was smiling, of course. Loki was a little bothered by how easily Thor had said "our" room.
"Yes. Well." He glanced around uncomfortably, "I was giving myself a tour of the mansion." He slightly looked Thor up and down –had he gotten taller?- then frowned at Thor's nakedness.
"Will you cover yourself with something?" he barked. Thor looked confused, but wrapped a towel around his waist nonetheless,
"Since when did me being naked bother you?" he wondered. Loki only huffed before swiftly leaving the room.
He headed into what had been designated as the living room and ran right into a young boy. He was defiantly the youngest member in the mansion -he couldn't have been older than 19- with brown hair and a cocky, mischievous look in his eyes.
"Whoah! Nice hair! What are you the Scottish version of Weird Al Yankovic?" The boy chuckled. Loki wrinkled his nose,
"Weird what?" He mumbled.
"Hey Peter!" Tony called from the couch, "Don't you know you're supposed to be nice to the needy?" He was smirking, full power.
"OH HA HA. You are SO funny." Loki put his sarcasm into high gear, making sure to look deathly bored. Tony just smiled triumphantly.
The boy, whose name is apparently Peter, just laughed before sitting down in front of the TV to play video games. Loki positioned himself on the armrest of the fine leather couch, as far from Tony as he could manage. After a few long awkward moments of silence, he decided to try casual conversation,
"SO I…"
"Is this wha…"
Tony and Loki looked at each other in shock at the fact that they had both started speaking at the same time.
"Sorry, my bad. Go ahead." Tony said. Loki hmphed,
"I was going to ask; what do you people DO all day when you aren't saving the world?"
"Whatever we want." Tony shrugged, "I spend a lot of time in my workshop, or off at a meeting of some sort…"
"Or drunk." Steve interrupted as he entered the room and sat next to Tony on the couch. He had a bundle of important-looking papers in his hands that he was reading. Tony wrinkled his nose as Steve,
"Yeah, well….SO?" was his best defense. Steve shrugged one shoulder and continued reading, Peter laughed from his spot in front of the television.
Loki got up and lightly kicked Peter's leg, "And who ARE you? I mean, what hero do you play? I don't recognize you."
"Oh me?" Peter responded without looking away from the screen, "I'm Spider-Man. You probably don't recognize me cause I'm usually never out of costume."
"WELL, I didn't realize Tony Stark fancied himself little boys as well as red heads."
"HEY. I don't "fancy"…", Tony made quote marks in the air while rolling his eyes, "…little boys. Peter fits right in around here; he's a super genius like me and Bruce. Besides, I like older men." He waggled his eyebrows at Loki again. Loki ignored him.
Just then Clint and Bruce came into the room carrying plastic bags of something.
"Dinner!" Clint called out.
"Woo!" Tony hopped off the couch and went to help with the bags. Thor came running in,
"Pizza?" He sounded very hopeful.
"NO Thor, you've eaten pizza every day this week." Steve complained. Thor looked like a kicked puppy,
"I like pizza." He mumbled. Bruce laughed softly,
"It's KFC, buddy." He reassured Thor, and Thor grinned again. Loki came to peer at the food that was being placed on the coffee table in front of the couch,
"What is a "KFC"?" he inquired from Thor. Thor thrust a prepared plate at Loki,
"Chicken!" He grinned around a full mouth. Loki took the plate with caution, raising an eyebrow at the food upon it,
"Is this *actually* edible?" he whined. Tony groaned,
"Oh stop bitching, please! Or you can go hungry."
The room went comfortably silent as everyone sat down somewhere and focused on their food. Loki slowly picked at the chicken leg with his long, elegant fingers and Tony found himself staring at Loki while he was eating. Loki watched each of them individually for a little while; he thought it was strange to see them in such casual states. It made him feel very awkward, like he was watching them in their most private moments. He'd only ever seen them in costumes, fighting him or someone else. But in front of him now was a completely different scene. Of course Steve was still all professional in his military uniform. But Tony had on grey and blue plaid pajama pants, a black Metallica t-shirt, and bright blue, fuzzy slippers. Clint was wearing grey sweat pants and a maroon long sleeve shirt. Peter was in gym shorts, a hoodie, and socks. Even Thor just wore a loose pair of jeans and a red Stark Industries t-shirt, which actually looked to be a size too small. Yes, Loki certainly felt out of place here, and thought it was stranger still that everyone had been so kind to him so far. Maybe they felt pity for his current state of being. That thought made him instantly angry. Natasha passed through and grabbed a plate at some point, and even Pepper came by to shove a clipboard under Tony's nose and tell him to sign it. Loki wondered if it was really like this every day, it was so…normal. Thor suddenly stretched out in his spot upon the floor,
"Well I am retiring for the night, my friends." He rose to his feet and smiled at Loki, "Will you join me now or later?" Loki glanced at his barely touched plate,
"I'll come now." He got up and followed Thor, having lost any interest in his food anyways.
Upon entering the bedroom Thor quickly pulled off his shirt and jeans, tossing them wherever, and jumped unto the heavily furred bed. Despite the large size of the bed, Thor took up most of it. Loki scowled at him,
"There are TWO…" he put up fingers to emphasize, "…problems here." He waited until he was sure he had Thor's full attention, and then continued,
"One, you had better move over. And TWO, you are *NOT* sleeping naked while I am sharing this bed with you." Loki wasn't at all surprised to know that Thor didn't wear anything under his jeans. Thor made a puppy eyed look at him,
"But I hate wearing clothes in bed, Brother. Don't you? It's greatly uncomfortable." He whined. Loki sighed.
"NO. It's not happening." His voice told Thor that that was the end of the discussion.
Thor pouted for a few more moments before relenting and got up to find a pair of shorts to pull on. Loki looked at his own attire; he was still wearing his tunic and pants. He raised an eyebrow at Thor,
"Might I…borrow…something for the night? I have none of my clothes here." He explained. Thor just smiled,
"Of course, Brother! Help yourself to anything!" He gestured to the armoire.
Loki soon realized that no matter what he chose to wear it was likely to be too big, Thor did have much more muscle mass than him. Certainly enough he could not wear any of Thor pants, they all fell right off his slim hips. He groaned. Thor just chuckled at his plight,
"Perhaps Tony is more your size." He offered.
Loki figured it was his best bet, so he put his own pants back on and returned to the living room, only to see that Tony was no longer there. Peter was still seated in front of the TV with a controller in his hand,
"Um," Loki started, "Where could I find Tony?"
"Try his workshop." The boy answered, again without looking from the screen.
"And where is that?" Loki asked.
Peter pointed to a set of stairs behind Loki that led down into the ground. Loki slowly made his way down them to come to some sort of invisible wall. On the other side was Tony, hunched over a metal table wearing protective goggles on his face and using a torch on some piece of machinery. Loki tried knocking on the invisible door. Tony apparently didn't hear it, so he knocked louder and still got no response. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked thoroughly annoyed. A panel of numbers on the wall to Loki's right sudden lit up and a heavily accented, male voice spoke,
"May I help you sir?" it inquired. Loki wasn't sure how to react to this.
"Who are you?" He asked it.
"I am Jarvis. Is there something I can help you with?"
Loki wasn't sure if he liked this guys' tone, and considering he saw no one else in the workshop with Tony he was wondering where this man was speaking from.
"I wish to speak with Tony." He demanded.
"A moment please." The voice said.
A minute later Tony looked up from whatever he was doing, he pulled back his protective visor and smiled at Loki. He turned to the computer monitors at his left and said something, that's when Loki realized the room must be soundproofed, and a click came from the door before it swung open. The loud blare of heavy guitar riffs that suddenly assaulted Loki's ears proved his assumption that the room was soundproofed. He stepped inside and over to Tony's table.
"Jarvis kill the tunes." Tony said, and the music abruptly shut off. He looked back at Loki,
"What's up? Got lonely?" He winked. Loki just raised a brow at him,
"Who is Jarvis?" he really wanted to know where this man was.
"Oh he's my computer." Tony answered like it was the most normal thing ever.
"Right." So he's a man who doesn't actually exist, that isn't weird at all, Loki thought. "I actually came to ask you something else." He finally said. Tony was fiddling with his little project again,
"Yeah, I figured. Whadda ya need?" he didn't sound like he was really paying attention.
"Well I need some clothes to sleep in, but unfortunately nothing of Thor's will stay on me, they fall off. You are slimmer. So might I borrow something of yours'?" Loki felt weird asking this. Tony laughed,
"Sure. Nothing fuels my fantasies better than thinking about you sleeping in my pants."
"Is that ALL you ever think about?" Loki couldn't help but smile a little at Tony's stupid joke.
"Only when I'm around you, baby." He winked at Loki again, and made a show of biting his bottom lip. Loki shook his head, trying not to laugh,
"I'm leaving now. Good night Tony and thank you for the clothes." He turned on his heels and began walking away.
"Don't be a scared. I don't bite. Unless you want me to." Tony was continuing. Loki just rolled his eyes and waved a hand at Tony,
"Good NIGHT, Tony." He was already going up the stairs.
He easily decided on a simple pair of black sweatpants and a black Jack Daniel's t-shirt and was more than happy to finally lie down. This day had been long and strange. Most of him was hoping to wake up in the morning and see that this had all been a dream. He quickly drifted off while staring at the ceiling. Thor lying beside him was already snoring, but even in his sleep Thor couldn't keep his hands to himself and Loki was far too tired by then to protest when Thor wrapped a big, muscular arm around his chest and pulled him into a hug.