Chapter 15

Vancouver, Canada

It was raining now. A heavy, angry downpour that showed no signs of letting up anytime soon.

Traffic was still moving at a steady pace and Dimitri Marick was starting to think he'd taken a wrong turn somewhere. That maybe he shouldn't be on this highway at all.

He was heading out of the city rather than into it.

What does it matter? It's not as though I have to be somewhere.

He kept driving, keeping pace with the flow of traffic as his windshield wipers worked furiously to keep his vision clear. He was oblivious to his surroundings. Green signs flashed by with the names of streets and places that meant nothing to him.

He'd exit and turn around at some point. Maybe even turn on the GPS.

But not yet.

For now, he kept driving aimlessly.

Why don't you look for a lab that can do a DNA test?

Dimitri bit his lip in response to his cynical thought. So hard that it started to bleed. The acrid taste in his mouth was a good match for the bitterness he felt.

Alex was alive and well. For over two years, he wanted nothing more than that, and as soon as he got his wish all he felt was anger and bitterness.

The thing I remember most about seeing you again is standing there and demanding a DNA test. How sad is that?

No, that wasn't entirely true. His most vivid memory was having her stand so close to him it took all his willpower to not wrap his arms around her. Seeing her had nearly taken his breath away. It reminded him of their last night together in Paris, when they ate dinner at a candlelit table and danced to Edith Piaf. Her hair was long again, like it was that night in Paris, before she'd cut it all off in a moment of irrational impulse at that hospital in Moscow. He wanted to run his fingers through it, the way he used to.

He used to think he could forgive her anything.

Anything, except deciding to leave him because she didn't trust him with the truth.

I wanted to come here and have you tell me that you had no choice. That there was some threat hanging over your head that would explain it. That maybe you were too ill to know what you were doing...

What neither his pride nor his heart could accept was her standing across from him, healthy and well, telling him that it was a decision she made entirely of her own volition. A decision which she still considered the right one.

But if you'd come here and found her unwell, then you'd want nothing more than for her to be alright.

It was all so absurd.

Alex was alright and instead of gratitude, he only felt betrayal and anger.

You promised Andrei to pass on his message to her. To tell her he loved her and missed her. And you didn't even do that.

Dimitri exhaled. The anger was gone now, it left as quickly as it had taken possession of him earlier, leaving him empty, tired and chilled to the bone. Even the jet lag was starting to catch up to him now.

He turned on the heat in the car.

It would never have hurt as much if I didn't love her so much.

Their encounter this morning wasn't so much a reunion as it was one big condemnation.

I'm sorry, Alex.

It was his last thought before he saw a pickup truck from the oncoming lane veer halfway into his.

Dimitri swerved to avoid hitting him, but it was too late.

The truck made contact with his rental car and sent him fish-tailing into the busy lane beside him.

After that, he was plunged into a black, silent nothingness.

Ritz Carlton Sanya, Hainan Island, South China

Cesar Faison yawned.

It was a glorious day outside. His suite had sliding glass doors that gave him a magnificent view of the deep blue South China Sea, framed by several lush, green islands.

The hotel brochure lying on his bedside table wasn't lying. Everything about the panorama outside was as stunning as the pictures promised. There was no photo-shopping in those photos.

Faison closed the glass doors and yanked the drapes over it, blocking it all from his view.

At first he thought coming here had been a good idea, and from a business standpoint it probably still was. He'd driven six of the most influential members of the New Haikou Port authority from Hainan here in a stretch limousine yesterday. Away from the island's busy, industrial north to Sanya, a town on the scenic south shore which was lined with five-star resorts, of which Faison had taken care to choose the best. Or rather he'd entrusted Jan Holstrom with the task.

In the past he'd treated the same men to ridiculously expensive dinners in Haikou.

But this time he wanted to give them something that would make their future co-operation a given.

A weekend at the Ritz. Five-star meals, Thai massages, cocktails on the beach and views that would take their breath away. He'd even asked for Jan to arrange escorts for them last night. Five had asked for women and one wanted a man. The boy that Jan had found for him wasn't really old enough to be called a man. Nor were the women anything but girls.

Faison didn't care.

He wanted the officials satisfied and judging from their expressions at the lavish breakfast buffet this morning they were. One of them even giggled as his chubby hands reached over to refill his plate with smoked salmon and capers.

'Good,' he thought. He knew he'd have a lot of sensitive cargo coming into the East from Europe this year. He needed it to pass through the port of Haikou without any questions, problems or red tape, and these men would make it happen.

"What about my satisfaction?" he asked himself aloud. He could have arranged for a girl for himself too, as he sometimes did. It would certainly have satisfied some immediate needs. But he didn't. Because every time he did, the morning after left him feeling emptier than he cared to.

I want someone who wants me.

Faison frowned. He had few moments of self pity or sentimentality. But looking out at the spectacular scenery from his room had touched a nerve. Today was supposed to be a celebration of his success with the port officials. His success in sustaining a dangerous lifestyle that had killed many lesser men. In spending his days and nights in the kind of lavish suites that most people in this world would never be able to afford.

But in reality, it was just one more magnificent moment spent alone.

What's a view of paradise if no one looks at it with you?

There were occasions, moments of unexpected weakness, when he debated trying to contact Anna Devane again. Against all logic, he still yearned for her and he was slowly coming to terms with the fact that he likely would until the day he died.

I might have stood a chance with her, if things could have gone according to plan two years ago. If I could have convinced her that it was my determination to come up with an antidote that saved her daughter's life.

If she never found out that I gave Leah that virus and instead believed that I was the one who saved her life, then, yes, she would have looked at me in a whole new light...

"Then maybe she'd be here with me, looking out into the South China Sea," he whispered aloud. "Then I'd have the drapes wide open."

That said, even he wasn't deluded enough to think he still stood a chance with Anna. Not after he kidnapped her twin sister.

"Not just kidnapped," he mumbled, irritated with himself. "Mutilated."

Maybe in hindsight, branding her hadn't been the best idea. But his momentary rage hadn't allowed himself to think of the consequences back then. He only knew he had to show Alexandra Marick that he couldn't let her take him for a fool and let her get away with it. She had to pay a price.

He'd briefly thought of killing her too. But that wasn't really an option given her relation to Anna.

"You've probably done the job for me yourself, haven't you, Doctor Marick?"

Cesar Faison was convinced that Alexandra's disappearance from the face of the Earth meant she had killed herself. God knows she was plenty unhinged even back then at Alexei Estate. He'd learned from Charlotte Devane, her mother, that she spent considerable time in a mental institution. The trauma at Alexei Estate had probably been the straw that broke the camel's back.

Given how Anna thinks, she likely blames me for her sister's death. Even though nothing is further from the truth. I can't be held responsible for the actions of others.

He exhaled, deeply unhappy at how everything had unfolded and hating that he still thought about it. Often.

He frowned as he looked down at the pile of newspapers that Jan had asked the concierge to print for him. He read as many as five papers a day and he hated the abbreviated versions that could be found on the Internet. It was a hobby that was slowly becoming an obsession. He didn't just read the headline stories or the business section. Faison devoured it all, from global stock market indexes, to obituaries, to scores from local tennis tournaments and photo snapshots on the gossip pages.

The world's best hotels had newspaper machines that were capable of printing out daily issues of countless papers in their entirety.

Five of them now lay on his desk. One of them was in Mandarin.

That too was another recent obsession of his. The attempt to master a language that was quite possibly more difficult than any of the others he already spoke.

He sat down, lit a cigar and started to read. Forcing his mind to erase all other thoughts. No matter how hard it was.

Vancouver, Canada

Alex felt Maria's hands on her shoulders.

"Alejandra, are you okay?"

Alex shook her head and wiped away the tears from her cheeks. If she looked anything like she felt, she was probably a mess. "No."

Maria sat down next to her on the couch and handed her a box of tissues.

Alex took it gratefully. "Thanks..."

"Did he hurt you?"

Alex blew her nose. "I hurt him first."

Maria gave her a lopsided smile. "So it was his turn?"

"Something like that."

"Is he Liam's father?"

"No."

"Oh..." Maria turned away and grabbed another tissue for her. "I see."

"It's complicated."

"I see that too."

"Is Liam okay?"

Maria waved an arm into the air. "Of course! He is watching that train show he loves so much."

"Good."

"Do you still love him?"

Alex eyed her. "Liam?"

"No...silly." Maria sighed. "Your husband. The one you never tell me about. The one who came here today and who is now making you use all the Kleenex we have."

Alex managed a smile this time too, as she pulled another one from the box, wiping away the last tear. "I do. I never stopped."

"But you never saw him for more than two years?"

"It's crazy, isn't it?"

"He found you because of that other man who came here last week?"

"Yes." Alex tossed a tissue into the waste basket. "Jerk."

"Maybe it is for the best. Honesty is good, no?"

"Being ready for it is good too."

"Is there anything I can do, mi hija?"

Alex debated the question. A few months ago she would have begged to be left alone. To crawl into a corner and lick her wounds on her own. "I could take a hug. And a really good paella."

Maria smiled and obliged with a long, warm embrace. The kind she might have gotten from a mother who loved her. It felt good. So did the fact that Maria knew better than to ask her any more questions.

Maria handed her a twenty dollar bill. "If you want the paella, you still have to get the mussels."

The remark made Alex laugh. "God, you're heartless."

The old woman gave her a kiss on the forehead. "You will thank me for it when you taste it. "

Kigali, Rwanda

Anna Devane stood in front of the pretty suburban home and took a deep breath.

It was an ordinary home, with walls in pastel colours, and a small, well-kept front yard, complete with a smiling garden gnome.

Anna frowned, suppressing an urge to kick the gnome right through the window.

All these years, Robin and I mourned you. My daughter had to forge a life without her parents, while I tried to remember who I was. All this time, you knew. You were in Africa and you knew! But instead of telling us, you went on with your life in a pretty, gated suburb that might as well be in Florida.

There's no reason in the world good enough to justify what you did...

"Who's to say he's lived here all this time..." Anna reminded herself aloud.

She moved a hand over her brows to block out the bright sunlight when she saw the front door of the house open.

Robert Scorpio stepped out of the house and right into her view. "Hi, Anna."

Anna would be lying to herself if she said she was entirely prepared for all the emotions that ran through her when she saw him. Living and breathing, his kind blue eyes looking at her just as they'd done twenty years ago.

She hadn't expected him to have changed so little. Hadn't expected him to look at her as though she still meant the world to him. Sure, he didn't stand quite as tall as he did then, and there was more gray than anything else in his hair, but aside from a few extra lines in his face, he looked good. Strong, firm, kind, unflappable Robert. The man who'd move mountains to keep his family safe.

She swallowed, hating that she could barely contain her anger. "So Robin did call you."

He gave a wry smile and there was even a hint of mischief in his blue eyes. That too, was exactly as she remembered it. "No...it was the guard at the front gate. He'd be in trouble if he didn't."

"I guess you have him under control too. Like the rest of your family."

"Anna...I know you're angry. I know this doesn't make sense."

"Why don't you try?" she prompted him. "Try making sense of it for me?"

His hand pointed towards the door of his house. "Why don't you come inside? It's hot as hell out here. The midday sun is the worst."

Anna shook her head. "Sorry...I don't feel like seeing Sandrine right now."

"Look, this isn't her fault..."

"She worked closely with Sean and myself two years ago, Robert. Closely."

Robert said nothing and Anna gave him an unyielding look. "Did you threaten to kill her if she told us?"

"Of course not..."

"Well, then. As a free-thinking adult, telling us the truth had to have been an option for her at one point. One she chose not to take."

"She had no idea whether I was still alive when she came to see you in Paris."

Anna wanted to ball her hand into a fist. How many ways could he find to justify his manipulations? She suddenly felt a twinge of pity for Sandrine Mutanga.

"She knew you were alive before she came to see us," Anna shot back. "And she certainly knew you were alive when she saw you in Moscow and decided to disappear on us! I assume she also knew you were alive the last two years." She took a deep breath. "So, unless you've brainwashed her, do both me and Sandrine a favour and stop defending her."

"For what it's worth..." he said softly, squinting his eyes in the bright sunlight. "She wanted me to tell you. She made me go to Paris to see you."

Anna looked at him in disbelief. "But you didn't."

Robert didn't say anything.

Anna swallowed. "So you're a liar and a coward."

Robert didn't say anything in his defense.

"In the years immediately following the explosion," she pressed. "Did you know I was alive?"

Robert nodded. "I knew, yes. I knew that you were safe in Canada. That was enough..."

No, it wasn't enough.

Anna felt angry tears welling up in her eyes. Bitter anger for all the years she lost and would never be able to get back again. Years that she now realized didn't have to be what they were.

"It was hell," she said softly. "Not knowing who I was. Trying to remember...all these years. Worst of all, when I did remember, the most terrible thing was knowing that my daughter had to grow up without her mother only because I couldn't remember her."

"Anna..."

"And now?" Anna glared at him in with the kind of rage she hadn't felt in a long time. "Now I find out that you knew? That you could have reunited us all these years ago? But you chose not to?"

"I didn't know..."

"You didn't know what?" Anna glared at him. "Didn't know that Robin was hanging out with likes of Sonny Corinthos and his buddies when she was a teenager? That maybe if we'd been there that damn mob might never have ruled Port Charles the way it does now? That maybe, just maybe...if we'd been there for her, she wouldn't have HIV today!"

She didn't care that there were tears streaming down her face, or that Robert was taking the hits like a man. The guilt and regret were suddenly written all over his face and he made no effort to defend his choices.

"I want to know why," she demanded. "What in the world could possibly be worth making the kind of deal that you supposedly made with Faison?"

"You were," he said softly. "You and Robin."

"I don't understand, Robert."

"I thought..." his voice sounded foreign to her now. "That if you were willing to die to keep him out of our lives. To protect me and our daughter, then I should be willing to do the same."

"Willing to die?" Anna frowned. None of this was making sense. One thing Robert was right about was the blinding heat. The sun shone down mercilessly as they stood under the open skies of his front yard.

Robert looked at her quizzically. "You set the explosion on that ship, knowing you'd be on it when it went off, didn't you? It's why you warned me to get off as soon as you saw me."

"What?" Every thing he said made less sense.

'You set the explosion on that ship.'

Of course she couldn't have set the explosion. That would've been...suicide.

Robert looked at her as though he suddenly understood something she didn't. "Wait a minute...you don't remember, do you?" He took two steps towards her, putting a hand on her arm. "I'm sorry...I thought your memory was back...that it was complete. It never occurred to me that you might not know."

Anna brushed his arm off brusquely. "What the hell are you saying?"

"Anna, please...come inside. Let's sit down. Let me explain..."

The world suddenly felt as though it was spinning around her. She closed her eyes for a moment. Willing herself to go back to that day. Forcing herself to remember.

The tanker sitting in a harbour in Venezuela. The smell of oil in the air. The relentless heat on that hulk of steel. Robert running towards her.

Everything that happened immediately afterwards was still so hazy in her mind. Eventually she'd stopping pushing herself to remember because it hurt. Literally. For reasons that even neurologists like her brilliant sister couldn't explain.

But now she needed to know. Because she refused to believe a word of what Robert was telling her.

"Anna?" He looked at her with concern.

"You can explain right here..." she managed.

She was walking along the top of the tanker. No, not walking. Faison's hand had gripped her arm and he was pushing her across. It was then that she saw him in the distance. Robert.

"No! Robert! No!"

She felt a dull, pounding pain in her head. The usual reaction.

Seeing him hadn't been a relief. It had terrified her.

She'd called out to him. To warn him. Before the explosion.

How could I have known what was going to happen before it happened? Unless...

She pressed a hand against her forehead. It was getting worse quickly. Why in the world would did it always hurt to remember?

Robert held his hand out to her, as if she might sway if he didn't steady her. "I really think we should go inside and sit down."

Anna pushed her fingernails into the palm of her hand. One pain could block out the other. She shook her head, ignoring his offer, composing herself instead as her eyes met his. "You're saying I set the explosion on the tanker?"

"Anna, please..."

"Answer me, damn it!"

"Yes," Robert told her. "I think you set the explosion on that ship."

"How...how would you know that?"

"I suspected, when I realized you were yelling at me to get off the tanker as soon as you saw me. When I saw the way you looked at me..."

Anna raised her brows, cutting him off. "You suspected?" He was wrong. Anna was sure of it. She couldn't have been the one to set in motion a series of events that would change all their lives forever.

"I suspected and then Faison confirmed it for me."

"He confirmed it?"

"He came to see me at the hospital afterwards. Saying you were the one who was responsible for the pain he was in. I didn't understand what he meant then either. But he told me he had some of his men examine the debris. That he was certain it was your...handiwork. He reminded me that incendiary devices were your speciality. If you wanted to get to him, that's exactly the method you'd choose."

His words sounded far away now.

Was it really possible?

"Faison told me something else...he said that I didn't really know what you were capable of. But that he did. He told me you tricked him into believing you wanted to be with him...before you tried to kill him."

"And you believed him?"

"I believed him because he said it made him realize he was a fool to think you'd ever fall in love with him. In the end, I believed him...because he agreed to the deal." Robert looked at her tenderly. "He never would have if... if he thought there was any possibility that you didn't do it. If he thought he still had a chance."

'He told me...that I didn't really know what you were capable of.'

"I'm sorry, luv." Robert looked at her like he used to. "Sorry...you had to find out this way."

Anna hadn't known what to expect when she came here today but she didn't expect this.

I used to blame myself for all the wrong choices I made. All the choices that led up to that day on the tanker. But one thing I could always blame Faison for was the explosion that destroyed everything.

But even that's my fault.

Anna swallowed. She felt nauseous now, as the guilt and the pain threatened to swallow her alive.

She wanted to get away. Away from Robert. Away from the blinding heat.

Away from herself.

Anna wiped away a tear, as Robert looked at her, the worry lines deepening around his eyes.

"I think..." she mumbled. "I think I've heard enough."

She turned away from him, away from his pretty suburban home.

"Anna, don't leave like this." Robert ran after her, and he was at her side now, his hands on her shoulders. "Where are you going to go?"

"Somewhere..."

His grip on her shoulders tightened. "This has been a shock for you, I can see that. Let me drive you back to Robin's hotel."

Anna stopped in her tracks. Her gaze was ice cold. "Let me go."

His hand dropped from her shoulders and he nodded, understanding. "Alright..."

He didn't follow her anymore as she walked away from the house, back towards the main gate.

She wasn't sure where exactly she was headed, but she knew what she had to do.

Big, huge thanks to my two awesome editors Annie and Kel, who try to curb my typos and my excessive love of commas. :) And of course to the patient readers who are still reading this!