DATE: FEB. 9 (THURSDAY)
TIME: 09:55 PM
MARSH RESIDENCE
COUNTDOWN: 6 DAYS
Kyle stands outside of Shelly's window with a guitar. He sings to the tune of "Copacabana".
Kyle (singing): Her name is Charlie! She is my girlfriend! She is really cool and sweet, and she lives just down the street! [Charlie is now at the window. She opens it up. She smiles down at him.] I think that she's hot! She wants to be a pilot! I'll serenade her to try and placate her since she told me she wanted me to do it! [Charlie rolls her eyes.] Her name is Charlie! And she is awesome! She is the only girl I like, and I know she's not a dyke! She's not Israeli! She plays the ukulele—
Shelly arrives at the window, glaring.
Shelly: SHUT UP! I'm about to go to sleep, you stupid little turd!
Shelly slams the window closed. Charlie presses her hands and face against the glass, smiling at Kyle. He smiles back. She grins at him and makes a kissing face, then Shelly pulls her away from the window and closes the curtains.
Inside Shelly's room, Charlie acts lovesick and giddy.
Charlie: Kyle is the best boyfriend ever. That was so romantic. [She sighs and swoons onto her mattress.]
Shelly: Kyle's a little turd.
Charlie: He's the smartest kid in our whole grade. And he's so cute and nice. And he wanted me to be his girlfriend.
Shelly: Two turds. It's a match made in heaven.
Charlie: Shelly, have you ever been in love before?
Shelly: Yeah.
Charlie: What's it like?
Shelly: It's like that feeling you get when the little turd living in the corner of your room finally shuts up!
Charlie: Naw, I was serious.
Shelly: SHUT UP, TURD!