Chapter Nine: Coming Undone

"Why do people mutilate themselves?" Morgan asked, turning to Garcia who was sitting across from him. They recently had a case where the killer was not the usual un-sup, he wasn't strong, he wasn't confident. He was in fact, a death seeking adolescence who often sat alone at home crying himself to sleep with his only friend being a knife. It didn't make sense to Morgan.

His knowledge of a killer was one who wanted power over his victims, taking control and killing others to feel powerful about himself. In fact, they caught the killer in the middle of one of his suicide attempts, Gideon had said maybe since he felt like life was betraying him, he should take some people with him. Never being involved with that or people like that, he just didn't understand.

Garcia shrugged as Bonnie turned in her seat, "A person who mutilates themselves is often depressed, though they won't show that to anyone else. They want others to believe their find, but they're dying inside. Inside they feel like they have control of nothing, they're numb and if they can have control of anything, why not have control of your own life? Of your pain? Most people rather feel hurt then nothing, most aren't even looking to die, but they hit the wrong vein and…yea." She laughed hesitantly, holding her wrists while looking at everyone.

The wondering man stared at her before laughing, pointing over at the young doctor, "You're beginning to sound like Reid."

Spencer Reid stared at Bonnie, the last case really affected her for some reason. Even though she just handled the file work, when he told her the case she became quiet and hardly talked to anyone. He raised an eyebrow, for some reason he knew it had to do something with her past, something that she was not letting in on. He tried asking, but she was a brick wall, refusing to let up any information about herself, quickly changing the conversation from herself.

Bonnie stood up, fishing through her bag as she pulled out a box of Marlboro Menthols, turning to her co-workers, "Anyone care to join?"

"You know, you should really stop that, it's not good for you," Emily piped up, her and Bonnie didn't talk much, she still missed Elle and the bond they had. It wasn't a death glare, but silence as she shrugged, "My…..my grandfather died from lung cancer."

Nodding sympathetically, she spoke, "I'm so sorry."

With that she walked past everyone, there was nothing much to do that day after the last case. They stared at her before everyone shrugged, not thinking much of it as this was typical behavior of the girl. But the doctor saw something wrong, it had been about two months since they first had sex and they spent some time together, most often going to each other's houses and sharing with each other's lives, though Bonnie mostly concentrated on him. Reid even told her about his mom.

For the doctor, he just wanted time with her and she was a great conversationalist. They talked about life, personalities, theories. Sometimes, they just sat and listened to music, Bonnie told him often that it made her feel like the old days with her childhood friends. But that's all she would talk about. Morgan often teased him, asking if they were doing anything, since they were always talking at work and according to him, their was a "glint" in both their eyes.

But Bonnie didn't believe in relationships, too many heartbreaks, too many people letting her down. Besides, she thought, was the point? What was the point of dating a person if you knew you weren't going to marry them, those were time wasted on not living life and finding "the one". Things were often useless though, she dated once and she was fucked by a man who led on that he wanted more, things just weren't the use of getting your hopes up.

The former new member took a drag, the smoke seeping out of her nose as she looked up. It was Christmas season, the air was crisp and she was shivering from the cold. She wanted to go home, just wanted sleep in her bed as the girl's room would be warm enough. Stupid janitors messed up and even the heater in the building was busted, luckily all her work for the day was done, thank God she was just an assistant.

Flicking the cig away, her elbows rested against her knees as her fingers ran themselves through her black hair. Morgan was picking on Spencer lately, he told her most of the time, along with Garcia. Groaning, she cursed, "God damn cold."

"You really shouldn't be out here in the cold." She heard as suddenly a cold was draped over her shoulders.

Green eyes looked up as she smiled, "Your small self will freeze out here."

"Small?" The doctor gawked, "I'm 6'1", that's…..like four inches taller than you, Bonnie!"

She stood up while smiling, wrapping the coat around her slender body, "You should be inside, Spencer, why out here?"

He shrugged while leaning against the wall, "There's nothing to do really, Hotch is inside talking to his wife, Emily went home already, Garcia and JJ are talking, and Gideon is just packing up."

"You know, I heard Hotch's wife's knocked up again," Reid had to laugh at her choice of words, "It's funny how he's the only one who can actually hold a relationship."

"Well, I guess it's easier since he has legal papers."

Smirking, the girl took out another cig and put it between her lips, looking up, "Ever had the feeling that someone out there is looking at the same star you are?"

The doctor had to smile, looking over at her as he knew just how to get her, "Statistics show that-"

"Oh, screw your statistics." She laughed, blowing smoke in his face.

Coughing a few times, he accepted his coat back from the girl as she patted his chest, him asking, "Did you catch last night's episode of Law and Order: SVU?"

"It was a repeat, from the second season. About that scritzo guy, very good though, horrible how he just committed suicide in the end."

He nodded while commenting, "Without the voices in his head he felt lonely, so he had to end his life. I guess….maybe that's another reason why we had to put my mother away." Reid looked sadly over at the girl, his pockets in his hands as she touched his chest, it was still a hard subject to talk about and made him uneasy at times, knowing it was genetic, though for the first time in his life he semi felt ok about the thing. Partially because of Bonnie telling him everyone's a bit crazy, it's actually an honor to have a name for your abnormal ness so you can use it to your advantage.

It was like she was scared, scared of commitment, scared of being hurt and scared of herself. It was odd, being the friends that they were though sharing what they did share. Maybe he was thinking too much into it, after all they hadn't known each other long and they were just friends. Sure, he lost his virginity to her, sure she played around with him, but maybe he just wasn't thinking the right way into this whole situation. She was a girl without commitment, scared and he knew it, but she would never admit it.

That night was a bit weird, Bonnie going to the young doctor's house. IT started normal, a cup of coffee, an episode of Cold Case, a game of Chess (which Reid won), and even Bonnie exposing Spencer to some of her taste in music. After Reid accidentally split some coffee on himself, Bonnie insisted on helping him, taking an ice pack and placing it on his private parts. It was after that things got heavy and the doctor found himself once again becoming not himself, the two involving themselves in intercourse.

Bonnie touched Reid's arm, smiling at him as she walked through the door, knowing their jobs were very different, "Have a good day, Spence."

"Have a good day, Bonnie." He quickly smiled, taking in a deep breath as his muscles tightened, just thinking about it got him….he shouldn't think about it.

The girl found herself getting some coffee before going to her desk, knowing she had a shit load of work to do. As usual Morgan greeted her with his typical hip bumping behavior, "We're going to have to stop this, Derek, I have a fucking bruise there." She laughed.

He laughed as he shook his head, "You usually call me Morgan, warming up to me."

"I like Derek better," She smiled while fixing her coffee, "Good night?"

"Went out on a date."

All the two had to do was look into the muscular man's eyes as he smirked, knowing he got some ass last night, "Was it a good lay?"

Derek Morgan had to chuckle, shaking his head as he reversed the conversation, "And did you get any action last night?"

"Spent the whole friggin' night watching TV, I was such a lousy bum." She laughed, smirking as she knew she had lied to him.

He laughed while shaking his head, licking his lips as he turned to her, looking her up and down, "Maybe you should spend the night with me sometime?"

Her green eyes looked up, moving her hips as she leaned forward, wrapping her fingers around his bicep, squeezing to feel how hard it was, "I don't go out on dates."

"It's not a date, it's two friends getting together for a cocktail or two," receiving a glance, he touched her hand while commenting, "Or coffee, I just want to know a little more about you."

Before the conversation could go on any longer, they were interrupted by Agent Gideon who touched the girl's shoulders, "Have you started on your work for the day yet?" After she shook her head, he spoke, "Let me speak to you for a moment."

Morgan took the hint as he left, seconds later as he turned to the girl, "Did you do any behavioral work before this?"

"No, just…..did my thing."

HE nodded, asking, "What made you want this job?"

"Good money, it's interesting to work with psycho's." She smirked.

Gideon had to laugh as well, folding his arms, "Has anyone you ever knew committed suicide?"

They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds before Bonnie's hips moved, her replying, "Many."

"How about yourself?"

"Now how is that possible?"

HE nodded, realizing the mix up of his question, "I've studied you, Bonnie, the point of this job is not only to know the un-sups in and out, but also to know your fellow workers, to know everything about them."

Bonnie smirked at this, staring at him, "But I'm not the agent, so therefore, you don't need to know that much."

"I've seen your scars."

It was at this everything stopped, Bonnie looking down and holding her arms, looking back at her elder. Sighing, it was hard to be kind as she looked back up at him, "The past buries the past."

A person often doesn't live just one life, in years they often live many. Some are to be proud of and some lives are to be never be mentioned again. Bonnie had worked hard, she was determined, these workers would not get anywhere with her life. They job was to analyze killers, not her. She was there to do her job, which she was doing a damn good job at it.

There were many cases that hadn't had paper work done on it yet, from little cases to big ones, it was her job to talk to all the members of the BAU and to write everything down. Apparently catching bad guys was enough for them so why should they do the paper work when they could get one girl to do all the work for them? Bonnie had to laugh to her, her and Garcia were much alike as they both spent most they day in front of a computer.

Right now Garcia was probably playing one of those virtual reality games on her computer, knowing she wasn't suppose to. As for Bonnie, she tried to play by the rules, a rebel playing by the rules, it was horrible. But she occasionally checked her email, just getting one or two here and there, she had yet to reply to that email Elle had sent her nearly a month ago.

Rubbing her temples, she saw the hustle and bustle of people, Hotch pointing to Bonnie, "A new case, we're out to Denver, stay here with Garcia."

Bonnie stood up quickly as the rest of the squad ran past her, observing Reid. He had his typical brown messenger bag on, beige slakes on his legs, a red shirt along with a nice brown slick tie around his neck (funny how he wore that after she commented on how nice it looked on him), and his sharp shades on his face. HE looked good, she groaned, this was not the typical guy and she was to stay true to her word, why was she teasing such an innocent mind?

Notes: This probably wasn't my best chapter, but please stay patient and if you have any ideas, feel free to voice out your opinions. I have ideas in my head and I have a plot, but if there's anything you'd like to see, I would love to know.