I know, I know...it's been forever. Sorry! Summer has been getting in the way. :) Thanks for your patience and big thanks as always to my two editors, Annie and Kel.

Chapter 17

Vancouver, Canada

"Of course it would be packed," Alex groaned as they entered the clinic. "The one night I need it not to be..."

Dimitri widened his eyes. The clinic's waiting room was full of people, some of them clearly intoxicated, others clearly homeless. "Are you kidding me, Alex?" he whispered. "Please tell me you don't work here."

"This is what you get for walking out of a hospital," she shot back. "I'll get you an exam room. In the meantime, sit down."

Alex saw Ahmad from the corner of her eye. She was early for her shift, but he was even earlier. Not that this should have surprised her.

"Ahmad," she approached him. "I need a room for someone."

The doctor looked at her as though she'd cracked a joke. "There are over two dozen people here that need an exam room!"

"He's really hurt," she tried. "He was in the pile up. I don't want him to have to wait an hour or more..."

"Alexia! Take him to an ER!"

"He won't..." Alex cringed. "He's...stubborn. Please? Can you just put him ahead of the others?"

For the first time since she'd known him, he looked annoyed with her. "No, I can't."

"Ahmad..." she lowered her voice, knowing she wouldn't give in until he agreed. "He's my husband."

"What?"

"Please?"

"Fine," he said through clenched teeth, clearly doing her the favour against his better judgment. "Put him in room two after Wing clears it."

Alex exhaled. "Thank you."

"I thought I told you to sit down?" Alex said to Dimitri when she came back and deftly moved her arm under his, leading him to an examination room.

"Can we just leave?" he tried again. "There are obviously people here that need to see you more than I do..."

"I doubt that," Alex replied, pushing him towards an exam room. "Please..." she added, gentler this time. "Lie down and take off your shirt." She handed him a cotton hospital gown.

Dimitri groaned. "Is this really necessary?"

"Yes."

He looked pale and exhausted. Whatever adrenaline rush sustained him after the accident was long gone. He might have hidden it well enough from someone else, but Alex knew he was in considerable pain. Her first instinct was to do whatever she could. Whatever it took to make things right. Not because she was a physician and he was an injured body.

But because it was Dimitri.

What hurt him, hurt her. It always would.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" she asked.

"I'll live."

"Can I get an honest answer?"

"I've felt better."

She helped him take off his shirt, cringing when she saw his left side. His ribs were clearly bruised, possibly even broken. She helped him lie down, watching his face contort in the process.

I bet you've felt better. In fact, I bet there weren't many times that you've felt worse.

Alex reached into the medical cabinet, unwrapped a new syringe and took out an ampoule filled with liquid medication.

Ahmad was going to kill her for this.

But Ahmad might take some time before he got in here. And Dimitri Marick wasn't about to sue her.

She filled the syringe. "This will make you feel more comfortable until Ahmad takes a look at you," she told him, before injecting it into his arm.

"The other doctor? Why can't you...?"

"I don't practice here. Or anywhere. I check people in at the reception desk. It's where I need to be in..." She looked at her watch. "Five minutes."

"Alex," he'd grabbed a hold of her wrist.

"What?" She wanted to take care of him. To do whatever was in her power to make sure he'd be alright. But she'd already pushed her luck, without needing to cement her chances of getting fired.

"Don't leave."

Alex bit her lip.

He's hurt and exhausted. He came back to you because he crashed his car in a foreign country where he doesn't know anyone but you. That's all.

She squeezed his hand. "I'm going to make sure you're okay. I promise."

His hand held on to hers. "I know. You always do."

She pointed to the empty vial of medication. "When Ahmad comes in to look at you, show him what I gave you, and whatever you do, don't mention that I'm a doctor, okay?"

"So are you allowed to...?"

"No, and he'll be livid. But I'll deal with that. Just tell him the truth."

He nodded and she could see his eyes close as the drugs started to take effect.

Kigali, Rwanda

"Your room is on the third floor. The top," the tall African receptionist told her, after taking the five twenty dollar bills he'd just been handed. "The stairs are past the pay phone, on your right hand side."

Anna Devane looked at her silver watch. "You'll knock on the door in six hours?"

"Yes, like you asked ma'am. In six hours."

"Thank you."

Anna wasn't convinced they actually would, but she tried to give herself some insurance. Just in case.

This hotel was vastly different from the one Robin was staying at.

Everything about it was run-down, from the cracks in the wall, the peeling wallpaper and the pervasive smell of stale cigarette smoke.

There was a dimly lit bar in the lobby with four single barstools, two of which were occupied. Two pairs of dark eyes that leered at her as she walked by them. The last thing Anna wanted was to stop next to the bar's patrons, but there was no soda machine anywhere in view and, in spite of the front desk clerk's reassurance, she wasn't convinced the water coming out of the taps in the room was drinkable.

And after walking at least a mile in the midday heat, after leaving Robert's house, she was parched.

"Three bottles of water, please," she told the woman standing behind the counter.

"Twenty dollars," was the reply.

Of course no one but a dumb, rich tourist would pay that much. It was an invitation to barter.

But Anna could care less about that.

Anna clumsily took the three plastic bottles from the woman's hand and handed her an American twenty dollar bill. She wasn't in the mood for games.

Anna used the last of her energy to walk up the stairs and made a face when she opened the door to her room. It too reeked of cigarettes and at first glance the mattress on the bed was so well-worn she could see its lumps and indentations, through the thin blanket that covered it.

She debated going downstairs to ask for another room, but then scratched the idea. As if it would be any different. Instead she yanked open the window in an attempt to let in some of the hot, stagnant air from outside.

Aside from the bed, there was no space to sit, so Anna sank down on the floor next to the bed frame, leaning against it as she pressed a cold bottle of water against her cheek.

Since regaining the bulk of her memories, or at least the bulk of the ones that she thought mattered, Anna had never pushed herself to remember more. Mostly because of the physical toll that came with trying to remember, and partly because some things were better left forgotten.

How wrong I was.

There were times when she debated going to see a hypnotist. Someone with a soothing voice who would help her piece together those final fragments while she'd be lying on a comfortable couch in a candle-lit, lavender-scented room.

Anna looked around her uninviting surroundings and managed a smile. "Not exactly what I had in mind."

Maybe it wasn't the Ritz, but it gave her the one thing she needed right now, privacy and solitude. This was something she needed to do alone. Away from her daughter's concern. Or David's need to protect her.

Or Robert.

She sighed at the thought of him.

I still can't believe you're alive. Can't believe that I just spoke to you.

"Argued with," she corrected herself.

Anna finished drinking most of the water, before reaching for her purse. She pulled out the container of the prescription medication that she'd used in Rome, debating what to do.

Remembering was going to hurt. That much she knew with certainty, even if she couldn't explain why.

The pills were good on the days when her headaches were unbearable but they were also strong enough to cloud her mind. It was a double edged-sword.

The last thing she needed was for the pain to make her lose consciousness. Not that it had happened since she lived in Canada with Bart. But her mind also needed to be clear and coherent, or else she wouldn't be able to trust what she remembered.

She put the container away.

"Let's wait and see and then go from there," she decided aloud.

Anna took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

It was time.

Time to remember everything. Not just the time right after the explosion, or the moments that occurred right before it happened.

But many long days and nights before it took place.

Days and nights she hadn't wanted to go back to ever again.

Did it never occur to you why you didn't want to remember that time?

Anna bit her lip, angry with herself. Angry for not doing this sooner.

Coward.

It was hard at first. To force her mind to not only go back in time, but to force it to focus on specifics.

How did I end up on that ship? What were the events that led up to it?

She remembered Robin and school. Impatiently waiting in a principal's office with her daughter.

Why?

Robin had been suspended for fighting with a boy. A fight she didn't start.

Anna recalled her anger and indignation. Not because she was bothered by the idea of Robin being in a fight, but because she knew her daughter well enough to know she was telling the truth. It was the injustice of it all that bothered her. The knowledge that she was being framed somehow.

Except it wasn't Robin who was being framed, it was me.

That too was coming back to her. In muddled bits and pieces.

The boy's parents never showed up at the principal's office. What was his name again? Frankie? Stanley?

They'd left the school together that day, with Anna being far more irritated than her daughter.

Already back then you were the old soul, the calm one.

She, on the other hand decided to storm off to the boy's parents' house alone. It was one thing for the boy to accuse Robin of instigating a fight, another for his parents to not even give her the courtesy of defending her child.

Where was Robert during this? She remembered that he was out of town, but she couldn't remember where or why.

A woman answered the door. Anna had been fuming and the boy's mother seemed indifferent. She'd asked her to wait while she got his father.

Except it wasn't his father who appeared. It was Cesar Faison.

The hair on her skin bristled at the sight. He'd insisted they talk about their future. Talk that made her feel sick to her stomach, until she couldn't stand to listen to his mad ranting anymore.

So his elaborate ploy to get her alone worked. But she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of taking his plans seriously. She got up to leave the house.

But he blocked her way.

It was only then that her anger and repulsion were suddenly replaced by genuine fear.

It was no longer a game.

She'd tried to fight him off, but it had been a long time then since she'd last gone to a karate class. She wasn't just the weaker of the two, she was woefully unprepared for the steps he was willing to take. She felt like as though she was in a stranger's body.

His arms were around her before she even made her first strike.

A needle was pushed through the fleshy part of her upper arm before she even realized he'd pulled a syringe out of his pocket.

And whatever he'd given her took effect at lightning speed. She couldn't even remember falling into his waiting arms like a lifeless rag doll.

Back in her hotel room, Anna opened her eyes and pressed a hand against her forehead. Her heart was racing and her head was starting to hurt.

She took a deep breath and reached for another water bottle. She opened it and drank from it, waiting for her nerves to calm. Her recollections had so far come with surprising ease and the accompanying pain was manageable.

So why was I always so hesitant to go there? Why does the idea of going there terrify me?

"Because of what happens next..." she whispered aloud.

The words sent a chill up her spine and Anna drew up her knees. She was still sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed frame.

Why would I say that? What happens next?

Anna swallowed another sip of water, before closing its top and setting it down next to her.

She closed her eyes and forced herself to focus again.

It was time to go there.

"That's it, darling. Time to come back. For good this time...I was starting to worry."

His was the first face she saw when she woke up from what felt like the longest nap in the world. The sight of it made her feel sick. Or so she thought, until she realized she really did feel sick. Literally.

She fought back the rising bile in the back of her throat to check out her surroundings. Just pushing herself into a seated position made the room spin around. The furnishings were simple and bare, more functional than anything else. And everything seemed oddly and inexplicably narrow and small. The ceiling too, was much lower than she'd expect in a normal room.

"Where am I?"

"You're somewhere safe. Away from everyone who is always trying to poison us."

Anna stared at Cesar Faison in disbelief. None of this was making any sense and she felt as though she was slowly losing the fight to keep the contents of her stomach where they were. "I don't feel so good..." she mumbled. "I need a washroom."

"Here..." he held out his hand, as if knowing that standing up was going to make her unbelievably dizzy.

He held on to her as she stumbled to the tiny washroom located just outside the room they were. Anna almost slammed the door in his face and could have sworn she felt the ground move beneath her. She barely had time to lift the toilet cover before she lost the struggle and threw up.

Afterward, she heard Faison pounding on the door. "Anna? Are you alright."

Anna ignored him as she set the toilet cover back down and sat down on it, bending over as she lowered her head into her hands. She still felt dizzy but otherwise better.

She waited several long moments before attempting to stand up again and brave a look into the mirror.

"Anna! Answer me! Or else I'll break the door down!"

"You do that," she mumbled, cringing at the sight of her as she turned on the water tap and washed her face. Her skin was deathly pale and her hair a tangled mess. But it wasn't the ghastly reflection that caught her attention, it was the round window next to the mirror.

She stood on tip-toes to catch a glimpse outside, gasping at what she saw.

Water.

An endless blue expanse of water as far as the eye could see. There wasn't a hint of land in sight.

She was on a ship.

Anna swallowed, feeling the same paralyzing fear she'd first felt at the house where Faison had drugged her.

"Where the hell did you bring me?"

Faison pounded against the door again. "Anna, answer me!"

Anna's fear mixed with anger and rage now. "How dare you..."

She yanked open the door and Faison almost came crashing in. The action threw him off balance and Anna wasted no time in attacking him. Clasping her arms together to administer a blow to the back of his neck that sent him tumbling to the floor.

It was time she remembered how to fight.

"Damn you," she heard him utter before striking him a second time.

This time he was the one who was unprepared.

She stepped over him and clumsily ran out of the room, unsure of where she was going. The corridor was narrow and there was metal machinery on one side. Anna saw a ladder leading upwards and climbed it.

It brought her to the ship's next deck, but she was still trapped inside.

She ran down another corridor. This one was neater and more elegant in its furnishings. She even spotted an oil painting hanging next to a closed door.

And then she spotted him.

The giant.

A huge man with a bald head that nearly touched the ceiling. He wore a black linen shirt with sleeves rolled up to elbows, revealing massive forearms.

He might have been a ship worker, but for his size. He was so large he would have made the average nightclub bouncer look small.

He glared at her and Anna turned around, searching for a way to get away from him. A way that wouldn't mean going back down the same ladder she'd just come up from.

When all she saw were closed doors, she tried meeting his eyes instead, pleading. "I've been kidnapped, against my will, please...you have to help me get away."

Seeing the hint of amusement on his face made her realize the ridiculousness of her pleas. The man no doubt worked for Faison. His very own human pit bull.

In a panic, Anna tried to open one of the closed doors when he started coming towards her.

It was locked.

Anna ran away from it, away from the giant. But he was surprisingly fast for his size and there was nowhere for her to flee.

He grabbed a hold of one of her arms and Anna managed to evade his grasp, which made him angry. He lunged for her and this time his grasp was tight and hard.

Anna spun around and managed to land her fist right on his nose.

Bad idea.

It made him angry.

His hands grabbed her sides and he picked her up with ease, slamming her against the wall so hard that Anna swore she heard something crack in her body.

Her legs felt like rubber and she slid down against the wall. She hadn't yet hit the ground when she felt the giant's hand slap her face with such force that she could see stars.

"Are you mad?"

Anna heard a voice yelling from what seemed far away.

She spotted Cesar Faison coming up the same ladder she'd climbed up.

He was kneeling next to her with a look of disbelief on his face.

"If you touch her again, it will be the last thing you ever do," Faison hissed at the giant, who then left her line of vision without a word.

"Oh Anna..." He cradled her in his arm. "What in the world were you thinking?"

'I clearly wasn't,' she thought.

He gently ran his thumb along her cheek. "Stop fighting me, my love." He gingerly helped her stand back up and this time she held on to him in earnest, afraid she wouldn't have made it back up on her own. Every bone in her body hurt. "Oh Anna..." he repeated, shaking his head like a parent, regretful that the lesson their child just learned had to be so very harsh. "Stop fighting me, Anna. You won't win."

Stop fighting it, you're not going to win.

Anna opened her eyes. She wasn't on the ship anymore, but back in her hotel room in Africa. And the headache wasn't manageable anymore.

She knew her memories wouldn't be pleasant, but she hadn't expected them to be so jarring and violent. Right from the start.

Anna reached for the container of prescription pills and took one out swallowing it with what was left of the water in the second bottle.

She felt a layer of perspiration trickling down to the nape of her neck, a reminder of how much effort she had to put forth to bring back a past she once wanted nothing more to do with.

Anna pushed herself off the floor and groaned when the gesture amplified the throbbing in her skull. It was time to call it a day.

No matter how unappealing the bed with its lumpy mattress was, she needed to lie down and sleep it off.

She picked up the phone and called the front desk. "I asked you to check on me earlier, please cancel that."

At least the pain wasn't bad enough to knock her out, or even mess with her vision, as it once did, when she was first started to remember years ago. While she might not have appreciated it right now, it was progress.

Anna set down the phone and pressed a hand against her forehead. She should text Robin again. Let her know she was alright. But hopefully her daughter would have believed the first message she sent her after leaving Robert's house.

Right now she didn't care if anyone worried. She wanted to fall into a dreamless sleep, before starting it all over again when she woke up.