When Tony woke up, he was face down on the hard, cold floor…again. But the first thing that really registered to him was that he was completely naked. He groaned as he pulled himself off the floor and viewed the mess of his equipment scattered about. He turned to the workshop table and gasped; Loki lay upon the table, curled on his side, breathing deeply, and naked as well. The memories of the previous night came flooding back like a dam just broke in his mind and he groaned again. They'd both been drunk out of their minds and Tony could already imagine the fury that Loki would unleash on him. He stood there for a minute debating with himself on whether he should wake Loki up or run away, he settled on finding his pants. After he had himself covered up he picked up the quilt from his mattress on the floor and softly laid it over Loki's lean form then kissed Loki's temple,
"Please don't be mad at me…" he whispered to the sleeping man, and then began cleaning up the mess all over the floor. After he had most of last nights' disaster taken care of he heard Loki take a deep breath and yawn, Tony did his best to just smile sweetly at Loki. Loki stretched like a cat then sat up on Tony's table, he made a face at some soreness that made itself present but ignored it,
"Good morning." He said to Tony, who was looking very on-edge, "What is wrong?" he added. Tony was hesitant,
"You're not mad?" he asked. Loki's eyebrows bunched up in a combination of confusion and annoyance,
"Should I be? What have you done?"
Tony was pointing at him in similar confusion, "You…we…I mean…" he scratched his head, "Do you remember last night at all?" he tried. Loki laughed deeply,
"Yes." There was something playful shining in his eyes. Tony relaxed,
"Oh." He blushed, "So…it's ok…?" Loki was nodding. Loki got up and pulled his previously rejected pants on then helped Tony finish cleaning. They both retreated to a warm shower before entering the living room and finding Nick Fury seated with the others. Nick looked up at them,
"How was the date, Stark?" he teased. Well he's in a good mood, Tony thought, but didn't answer the question. Nick stood up and went to stand in front of Loki. Loki's appearance was calm but Tony saw the energy in his eyes, like a snake about to strike but showing no outward signs of agitation. Tony knew that Fury made Loki very uneasy. Fury actually smiled at Loki,
"I came to congratulate you on your machine." He said coolly, "I had my best men dissect and analyze it and we were all very blown away. And if what Tony says is true and you built it…?" he paused for Loki to answer, Loki simply nodded once, "Then I'd like to offer you a job." Nick concluded. All the Avengers and Loki dropped their jaws. Steve erupted in a fury,
"WHAT! Sir, forgive my boldness, but I DO NOT AGREE!" he pointed at Loki accusingly, "He has certainly NOT earned enough trust for that!" Nick held up a hand to silence him,
"That is ultimately my decision." He said to Steve then turned back to Loki, "He won't be leaving my sight, ever. He'll be working alongside me as a sort of…assistant. We need minds like yours, Loki, and if you're pure about wanting to change, then this would be a good start." Nick was waiting for Loki's answer. Loki was truly startled by this offer, but showed no sign of it. He looked down at the floor and began tapping a single polished fingertip against his bottom lip as he considered the offer. He looked at Tony who in turn gave him a look of concern. Loki sighed; they were all looking at him. Nick sensed his uncertainty, so he spoke further on the subject,
"Of course if you accept you will have to become a fully certified S.H.E.I.L.D agent, like Black Widow and Hawkeye." He raised an eyebrow to Loki, urging him on.
"You trust me?" Loki wondered. Nick snorted,
"Not even to feed my cat. But trust isn't the issue here, you're super-genius brain is." He answered. Loki nodded in understanding,
"What, exactly, would you have me doing?" Loki asked. Nick shrugged one shoulder,
"Anything. Strategy planning, mechanical repairs, technological advancement, genetics…" he gave Loki another complacent shrug, "The list goes on." Loki was trailing his fingers over his lips in thought, he wanted to get Tony's opinion on the matter, but maybe it was better if he didn't. Nick sighed, obviously tired of waiting,
"And you'll be paid." He offered. Loki's lips twitched in amusement,
"I have no use for your currency." He said, "You really want me to do it, don't you?" he narrowed his eyes at Nick.
"Like I said, we need all the geniuses we can get." Nick was checking his phone.
"Alright." Loki finally said and Nick paused to see if Loki was jesting, "I'll do it." There was still the appearance of mischief dancing in those eyes. Nick's shoulders dropped slightly,
"What do you want?" he'd gotten so used to asking that. Loki's grin widened, and Tony shivered; how many victims had seen that sick, twisted grin as their last moment alive? Tony wondered.
"I wish to no longer be treated like a criminal. No house arrest, no parole officer, no therapist, no anything." Loki commanded.
"The therapist stays." Nick countered, and both men glared at each other for a minute,
"Fine." Loki answered with a wave of his delicate hand, like it was unimportant to him either way. Nick extended a hand to Loki, Loki glanced at it for a second then shook it with all the strength he still had,
"Welcome to the team, agent." Nick said and Loki's lips twitched again as he raised an eyebrow at the term,
"Indeed." He breathed, indifference plastered to his face yet again. Nick turned to leave,
"I'll send someone to pick you up when your first day rolls around." He added then was gone. Steve threw his hands up,
"I can't believe this…" he mumbled angrily as he stormed out of the room. Natasha was also shaking her head but she said nothing. Peter and Tony were both excited;
"WOAH!" Peter cheered, "Secret Agent Loki!" he teased as he poked Loki in the arm repeatedly. Loki swatted him off,
"We shall see." Loki replied. Tony was still concerned,
"I get a bad feeling about this." He said, "Like, not because of you, but Nick…" he glanced to the door as if he'd find Nick standing there glaring at him, "…I'm not sure if I trust him." He whispered. Loki hummed in agreement,
"But I am willing to help wherever I am needed." Loki said firmly. Tony smiled,
"It's good to hear that." He gave Loki's shoulder a friendly squeeze, "Oh!" he exclaimed, "I almost forgot…" he began digging through his pockets and pulled out a sleek little device, "I bought you a cellphone." He smiled and handed the little machine to Loki. Loki made a face of approval,
"Thank you. Now, how about you buy me some breakfast." He grinned, all wickedness gone, to be replaced by honest friendliness. Tony laughed,
"Typical! One night and now you want all my money!" he joked but grabbed his car keys and began twirling them on his finger, "Let's go then." He opened the door. Loki was still laughing as they left. Tony parked outside a Starbucks, slipped on his ultra-awesome shades and winked at himself in the rear-view mirror, then stepped around the car to open Loki's door. Even in just jeans and a leather jacket, Loki stepped out of that car like he was indestructible; all poise and perfection. Tony stuck his tongue in his cheek and waggled his eyebrows, Loki rolled his eyes. Loki didn't even bother going up to the counter, instead he stepped over to a nice little table in the corner that was occupied by two girls. He laid his arms upon the tabletop, leaning down to the girls' level, and smiled at them, feigning innocence,
"I want this table." He tapped a fingernail on the tabletop, "That means you need to go away." He said casually, the girls looked at each other in confusion then back at him, "Tsk tsk." Loki waved a finger at them, "Don't make this difficult for yourselves." His eyebrows went up as he gazed at them a moment longer, but when neither of them showed a sign of moving his brow pulled down in aggravation. He sighed dramatically and slammed his fist on the table, "Move it!" he barked and the girls jumped, they didn't say anything as they grabbed their things and rushed out of the bistro. Loki smiled to himself and sat down, crossing one leg over the other, and began polishing his nails against his shirt till he could see his own reflection in the smooth black surfaces. Tony sat down with two coffees and a whole coffeecake; he was glancing between the door and Loki,
"What did you say to those girls?" he asked. Loki grinned,
"Oh, nothing. I just convinced them to give us this table." He answered without looking away from his ever-growing black nails.
"Huh." Tony said as he took a bite of coffeecake, "Sure looked like you threatened to rape them or something." They both laughed but then Tony paused,
"You've never done that right…?" he wondered. Loki looked at him from over his coffee,
"Done what?" he mumbled as he took a sip.
"Raped someone." Tony was giving him a cautious gaze. Loki chuckled,
"Never needed to." He said nonchalantly.
"Oh yeah?" Tony was smiling suggestively, "That's pretty cocky of you." He laughed and slapped his own knee. Loki rolled his eyes again and covered them with one hand but couldn't help the smile that curved his lips. They enjoyed their breakfast in between fits of laughter and idle romantic gazing, the former from Tony alone. Tony frowned suddenly as he saw the two girls from before returning, now with two men, and they were pointing at Loki.
"Oh shit." He cursed, a look of regret shaping his face. Loki looked up from his coffee and took in Tony's gaze, he turned in his chair to see what Tony was looking at, and the two men were standing there now. Loki just blinked at them,
"Can I help you?" he snapped, like their very existence offended him. One of them grabbed Loki by the collar, pulling him out of his seat and sending coffee everywhere,
"Yeah." The man growled, "Let's step outside." He dragged the startled Loki out of the coffee shop with Tony and the other man close behind. The girls were standing next to each other, arms crossed over their chests, with victorious little smirks on their faces. The one carrying Loki threw him unto the ground.
"Aww guys, com'on." Tony defended, "Can't we settle this another way? I'll give you cash?" He begged as he pulled out his wallet. He really did not want to watch Loki get the shit beat out of him. But Loki stood up, chuckling, and smiled at both men,
"Have at thee, then." He said with his own wicked smirk stretching his face, big green eyes twinkling with excitement and a sort of bloodlust. One man went to grab his arms as the other threw his fist toward Loki's face. Typical, Loki thought, and he ducked. The first man's fist collided with the others face and Loki slipped behind the first man to kick him in the knees. Both men were on the ground moaning in pain and only a second had flown by. Loki laughed,
"Pathetic. Perhaps try again after you've had a thousand years of training in the art of silent killing." He laughed again then turned on the girls,
"As for you, if you're going to depend on your men to defend you I suggest you find ones that can actually fight. Otherwise learn to defend yourselves." He instructed then gently took Tony by the arm and returned to the bistro.
"I'm so hot for you right now." Tony breathed into Loki's ear, "That was awesome. I thought they were gonna cream you." Loki gasped, throwing his hand up to his throat, and putting on a face of false heartbreak,
"Oh ye of little faith!" he exclaimed, "You think because I have no power that I cannot defend myself? That hurts. I'll have you know I was taking down frost giants alongside Thor before either of us was old enough to be allowed to wield swords, or magic for that matter." He smiled. Tony put his hands up in playful defense,
"My bad!" he laughed, "I forgot you're the God of Badassery*." Loki laughed at the term,
"Indeed." He nodded. They finished their breakfast in peace and returned home. Peter greeted them enthusiastically,
"HEY LOKI! I bought you something too!" he said through fits of giggles, Loki cocked an eyebrow,
"Oh?" he inquired. Peter nodded,
"Yeah…A KILT!" he busted into obnoxious laughter*. Tony cracked up as well. Loki looked hopelessly lost.
"A what?" he asked. Tony shook his head,
"He's just making fun of your hair again, don't worry about it." He giggled. Peter was on the floor laughing through tears. Loki didn't look amused. Thor was standing behind Peter shaking his head then he looked at Loki and shrugged,
"I did not understand the jest either." He confessed. Loki stepped up to Thor and handed him a Starbuck's mug with a look of tenderness in his eyes,
"I brought you some fancy coffee, since I know how much you enjoy the beverage." Loki's voice was soft. Thor smiled like he'd just been handed the universe,
"Thank you." He whispered, and Loki assumed he wasn't exactly being thanked for the coffee. He just smiled. Loki made himself comfortable on the couch, making sure to leave no room for anyone else to sit down, and flipped through the contacts of his new cellphone. When he located the person he was looking for he pressed the call button and put the phone to his ear, it was picked up after only one ring.
"Guten tag! Kurt Wagner speaking." Came the heavily accented man's voice. Loki smiled,
"Hello Kurt. How are you, dear?" he asked while gazing into his fingernails again.
"Loki! I am wonderful!" Loki could hear the smile in Kurt's voice and laughed at how the word "wonderful" came out as "vunderful". "And you?" Kurt asked.
"Quite well. I am no longer an enemy of earth, as of this morning. So I think that's progress. But how about your friend Amanda? Any luck in finding the lady?" he asked. Kurt sighed.
"Nein, my friend. No luck. But I'm glad to hear you have chosen to embrace the light side!" he laughed whole-heartedly, and Loki recalled that Tony had told him of Kurt's Star Wars fandom. He chuckled again,
"I'm giving it the best I've got. But you know the dark side has cookies and club t-shirts." He joked. Kurt laughed again.
"Who you chatting up, Furball?" came the voice of Wolverine in the background, "Loki." Kurt answered as he turned his face from the receiver. A thought occurred to Loki,
"Kurt?" he called and Kurt hummed in reply, "Are you and Logan…together?" He asked. There wasn't an answer for a few minutes,
"Well…I suppose you could say that." Kurt finally said. Loki nodded to himself,
"Mhmm. I thought he was awfully touchy with you." He teased, "So is this whole homosexual thing normal here on Midgard?" Loki wondered. Kurt laughed again,
"It has become more widely accepted in modern times. Why? How is it in Asgard?" Kurt asked,
"Well it happens occasionally, but we never really had a word for it." Loki answered absently, "Except, maybe…sodomy." He added as an afterthought. Kurt's laugh was a lot more uncomfortable at that comment. There was an awkward silence after that. Kurt cleared his throat,
"So does this mean you are off house arrest?" he asked.
"Mhmm." Loki was still staring into his nails as if they held the secrets to the universe.
"Wunderbar!" Kurt exclaimed and Loki winced away from the phone, "Then you should come out with me und Logan!" Kurt suggested. Loki noted that the more excited Kurt got, the worse his English became. Loki considered the suggestion for a minute and glanced at Tony who was standing at the foot of the couch eating a bowl of cereal.
"Sure. Why not." He said.
"Awesome!" Kurt said then he turned from the receiver again to say something in German to Logan. Loki heard Logan grunt in reply. "Tonight? Or should I wait for you to call me back?" Kurt was asking.
"Yes, I'll let you know." Loki agreed, and then said good-bye. Tony looked at him with interest,
"Nightcrawler?" he guessed and Loki nodded, "Any luck with his sorceress friend?" he asked through a mouth of cereal. Loki shook his head and then glared at Tony,
"Are you eating cereal for lunch?" he asked, his tone suggested that it was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever seen.
"Hey! Cereal can be eaten anytime of the day!" Tony defended. Loki got up and took the bowl from Tony, placing it upon the coffee table and leaning into Tony's ear,
"You what else can be eaten anytime of the day?" he whispered suggestively and felt Tony's whole body shiver. He grabbed Tony by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down the workshop. Peter watched them leave then turned to the others,
"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say they're more than friends now." He said. There was a sudden smashing sound and everyone turned to see that Thor had just put his fist through the wall, he glared at the floor, face red in rage, then stormed out the front door.
"Was it something I said?" Peter squeaked.
Thor flew to the S.H.E.I.L.D helicarrier and let himself into Nick Fury's office. He slammed his Avengers badge unto the desk. Nick looked at it then up at Thor.
"I am finished." Thor said, he was breathing rather heavily and Nick could almost feel the rage coming off of the larger man. Nick leaned back in his chair, crossed his fingers over his lap, and regarded Thor with an interested gaze,
"Might I ask why?" he spoke softly.
"You may. But I do not feel like answering." Thor said as he looked at the floor.
"Then allow me to take a guess," Nick suggested and he waited till Thor was looking at him again, "This has to do with Loki, and his now apparent relationship with Tony. You don't like it." It wasn't a question. Nick leaned forward, "The question now is, why you don't like it? What is it that you disapprove of?" he inquired. Thor sighed and a slight blush came to his cheeks, but he didn't answer. Nick leaned back again and waited.
"I do not wish to be an Avenger any longer. I plan to return home now." Thor said, he was staring at the floor again and now looked horribly depressed. Nick shrugged,
"Well I can't tell you no, but I really wish you wouldn't." Nick said and picked up Thor's badge.
"I am sorry." Thor whispered. Then he was gone, rushing out the door, and flying away. Nick's face fell into a look of concern and sadness, Thor had been one of his favorites and he really wished to know what had driven him away.
OK, I know this is short, but I wanted to end it here at some semblance of a cliffhanger. xD
I GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE:
*I totally took the name God of Badassery from THE godofbadassery on Twitter, because I love him and he's...well, a fucking bad ass. xDD If you don't follow him already than you should, cause he's hilarious.
*And I want to add a note to this joke because I CRACK MYSELF UP! LMAO! I was laughing so hard when I came up with that joke and then I couldn't stop imaging Loki in a fucking KILT. OH thats too good...