I hate diaries.

But apparently Tori doesn't :) So this chapter is all a diary entry of hers.

Hey diary. Just in case you want to know, I'm smiling. You want to know why? I was cleaning my room because it was a freaking pig sty and I found you, so right now I'm half done cleaning, but I stopped to write in you. Hopefully you feel loved.

Remember my last entry? Of course you do diary, even if it was over a year ago. It was the day Jade dumped coffee on my hair, my first day of Hollywood Arts. I still remember that day perfectly. Did you know Hollywood Arts burned down? Yeah, a lot happened since I last wrote in you diary. Actually I'm probably just being overdramatic. Hollywood Arts got put out before any extremely serious damage could be done, but I'm back at Kalifte again.

I know you remember Kalifte, diary. Back when I wrote in you regularly it was the main thing I complained about. It's still pretty awful, but at least I have some real friends there to keep me rooted to the ground now. Natalie and I, for some odd reason, are friends again. I read the through you before I started writing in this and I'm beginning to wonder why I was so happy to see her my first day.

You know, seeing as the fact that she was 'that bitch' in you for about a month until I transferred to Hollywood Arts and stopped writing in you. I'm still sorry I left you all alone under my bed diary, you were my one of the only people (or, I guess, things) that stood by me after Natalie started the rumor. I know you remember the rumor, and I bet everyone at the school still remembers it too, they're just waiting for the right moment to bring it up and crush my spirit again.

I wish she never started that rumor, it would have made going back to Kalifte so much easier. Diary, I still can't believe I ever forgave her. Actually, I don't think I really forgave, just forgot. People were so nice at Hollywood Arts (you know, except Jade). I didn't really think about how cruel people could be, but looking back on your pages, I remember how miserable Natalie made me feel. Like I wasn't worth anything.

Looking back at your pages, I saw all of the blood. It stained you pages so badly I couldn't even read some of the words. I don't cut myself anymore diary, did you know that? Probably not since you've been under my bed for so long. I actually have self-worth now. The scars healed a long time ago. My favorite song used to be 'Believe'. I forget the artist, I haven't listened to it for so long. I still remember the lyrics, though, "so give me something to believe, 'cause I am living just to breathe, and I need something more to keep believing for, so give me something to believe." That's how I used to feel diary, but I'm so much better now.

I don't think I'm going to talk to Natalie anymore, diary, starting tomorrow. She caused me so much pain, ruined high school for me. My parents never even noticed! It seems like they're never there for me or Trina. When everyone abandoned me at school, they left for vacation in the Bahamas. I couldn't talk to Trina, she would just turn the conversation toward herself.

You want to know the best thing that ever happened to me diary? André Harris. Trina had to work with him on a project. I think mentioned him to you before, but he didn't mean as much to me back then as he does now.

I think I'm in love with him.

I don't know exactly diary, but it feels like it. I've never been in love before, so I don't really know what it feels like. If I get tingles around him, if I feel like I'll stumble over all of my words, does that mean I love him? But how would you know diary, you're just a bunch of paper.

No offense, I still love you.

I think I'll just skip the last year if you don't mind, diary, because nothing awfully tragic or important happened. OH! BUT I DID GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE!

It was by Cat, the bipolar crazy girl I talked about before. She is like, one of my best friends now, and I love her to death. I just kissed her boyfriend, but we're still friends. I haven't seen Danny around school. I know you remember Danny, diary. That guy got, like, two months worth of pages in you.

I have no idea where he is, but I guess it's a good thing, just kind of mysterious.

Okay, so on to my day today. We did the auditions for Maria and I think I nailed my song. That's right diary, unlike what I used to think, I actually have talent. But I think Jade did better. She had a perfect audition, and her song was better than mine.

Natalie's sucked, I am happy to say.

But I may just be a little bit biased over the whole rumor she started.

Anyway, we went to Skybucks and got a huge table (André got a grande nonfat mocha with extra whip) and just talked about our weeks.

Robbie talked about how Tylor was harassing him, and I think I'm going to do something about that tomorrow.

Beck told us about some slutty girl, Mary, who tried to seduce him after his geometry class, and his friend Zakk, who apparently was super awesome.

Cat told us about her new boy toy, Landon, and I couldn't help but notice that André's face hardened as she talked about him. I think I'm going to text him after I'm done writing in you.

André talked about his music classes and his friends Mike and Nate, and how Mike was so familiar to him but he couldn't place it.

I told about how 'awesome' it was to be back at Kalifte, but honestly it was all a lie.

And Jade, she talked about a girl named Ryan and the slut Mary, until she saw a girl sitting alone who she recognized from one of her classes, Meghann. She gladly welcomed Jade to her table, and Jade was surprisingly nice, it was amazing. About ten minutes later Meghann left and Jade came back to our table, seeming much more happy than usual.

It was really… weird. I didn't know Jade could get along with anyone like that, oh well.

So Trina is knocking on my door, and I'm going to hide you now so she won't read you. If she did, I'd probably get sent to a psyco ward or something. Until next time…

I've decided you need a name.

You are officially Flynn.

Until next time Flynn. And hopefully I'll start writing in you again.

-Tori

So its short because it's a fast update and journal entries aren't that long… at least it's on time this time!

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