Chapter Eighteen: Personal Jesus

"It just adds more to my dislike of organized religion."

Weeks had now gone by since the celebration of Spencer's birthday. A lot had happened. A lot of life changing events. The explosion that had possibly damaged Hotch's hearing, an obsessed woman living out her dead lover's legacy, and being involved in a dangerous cult activity. Not only that, but he was starting to have nightmares again. Those damn nightmares of when he was held hostage.

By now he had thought the nightmares were going away, that he was turning back to his usual self. But, after all that had happened, he felt himself slowly slipping. The memories of what happened had filled his brain along with painful childhood memories he was begging to forget. His body sweat with his need for drugs, the amount of drugs pumped into him during that time had gave him a silent need for the drugs though he didn't act upon it.

The young doctor's brown eyes stared up at the ceiling, not wanting to even move. His covers were pushed onto the floor, lying in his bed in just his boxers, caught in a cold sweat. His now short hair was soaked in sweat, still feeling a little woozy from the explosion of that church, fragile from his terrible nightmares, and fighting the urge for drugs.

Which is the reason for inviting Bonnie Deville over. The broken young female of his life knew more than anyone how powerful an addiction could be. For so many years she had battled her own demons and dependency on heroin. It had ruin so many years of her life, had ended her up in so many terrible places, and even had made her attempt to take her own life.

"Why do you say that?" He asked, not averting his eyes from the ceiling.

Bonnie made sure to sit near the window, the only light coming in the room was the moonlight through the blinds, "Everything that has happened to you…traumatizing…is because of religion. This cult thing that just happened and the man who took you hostage was a religion fanatic. There's no problem in believing in a higher source, but people take it way too seriously."

Perhaps. He closed his eyes once more, feeling her words flow through him. After all this time in the BAU, did he really dislike organized religion? He was a good boy raised on good values by his mother, he never had a biased bone in his body. Not with his job, he knew every religion, knew every word of the Bible, he was trained to be knowledgeable in everything. Was religion really targeting him?

Slowly lifting his eyelids, Spencer asked calmly, "Do you believe in a higher power?"

Bonnie continued to stare out his window, observing the outside world. No one was on the street. It was dead. After lighting a cigarette, she replied, "I don't know. I know what to think. I was raised Catholic…hung around a bunch of Atheists. Fiddled around in karma," Her green eyes then gazed over to his lying body, a weak smile gracing her lips, "I've OD'd before, Spence, I saw the white light. Yet, I still don't know what to think."

The doctor's eyes squinted in confusion, raising an eyebrow, "You OD'd?"

"Heh," She gave a warm smile, hugging her knees close, "My grandmother died…I broke up with Skyler…the fact that my grandmother was no longer around and I had caused someone so much pain…I…I couldn't deal. Life…for the first time in years my eyes were open and I hated everything. So…I injected myself with more heroin then I had ever done in my life. I then went to a party where coke was being passed around. It was a real Pulp Fiction moment."

After years of suppressing the still very open wound, he guessed the only thing she could do was laugh. In a way it was a little comforting to him, to hear this. As sick as that sounded, he liked hearing how hurtful her past was. It made him appreciate her now even more, he knew it wasn't true, but in a way it made him feel as if she had changed who she was just for him.

"I'm scared, Bonnie."

"Why?"

"What if…I become…"

"Like me?"

"No," He sighed, "Well, like the former you. I don't want to be addicted…I don't want to be like this. I…don't want to be like my mother."

Bonnie frowned and looked over at the young man. Slowly raising herself from her seat, she walked over to where he laid. His eyes were still focused on the ceiling and his chest still glistened with sweat. Reaching a hand over, she helped to brush some strands of brown hair off his heated forehead, tucking some hair behind his ear. She watched his eyes slowly close, comforted.

Slowly she sat herself on his bed, making sure to be enough distance away from him, "You're not gonna be like her, Sp-"

"How do you know?" He looked over at her, "Paranoid schizophrenia is genetic. I'm already freaking out, what if this is the start to it?"

"Sounds pretty entertaining to me."

Spencer's laughter filled her ears, bringing a smile to her face. Both knew how serious the issue was, but all he needed to hear was a joke and that was exactly what he needed. He needed to laugh, needed to feel good, release the weight that was on his shoulders. And that's what Bonnie could do, just make him laugh, smile, like a way that he never could imagine before.

A breath got caught up in the young doctor's throat, closing his eyes as her lips kissed his forehead, "You're going to be fine…I know you're nervous…but, the more you become scared of your own mind, the more weak you're becoming. It's like you're lying down and accepting it when you have to fight and be determined that you will not be that way. And…if you do become that way, I'll be there for you."

Brown eyes moved to connect with green eyes, a smile on both. Spencer reached up, the mere touch of his fingers on the back of her neck commanded her to bend down and make connection with his lips. A slow, sensual kiss began as his hands slid down her side. His hands gripped her sides gently, positioning her right on top of him as her legs straddled his waist.

A groan grew in the back of his throat, deepening the kiss, intertwining their moans in harmony. Sweet lips kissing each other, tongues deep in each other's mouths. His hands gently rubbed up her back as her hips began to slightly sway, her slender fingers playing in his hair. A hard groan escaped his lips as he felt her body shift up on his, feeling her void on his bulge.

Spencer's fingers entangled themselves into her silky black hair, gently tugging her head back so that he could flip to be on top. Like pieces of a puzzle, their bodies fit perfectly into each other, arching her chest into his, wrapping her legs around his waist. His hands cupped the sides of her face, feeling her wrap her arms ever so neatly around his neck, pulling him closer.

Several hours Bonnie woke up with her head rested on Spencer's bare stomach, feeling his hands playing with her hair. Now she remembered why she had fallen asleep in the first place. It just felt so right being there, lying in the bed, lying in that bed with Spencer. Bonnie took a big sigh, she hadn't planned on this happening, she was just there to be comforting for a friend, what had gotten into her?

Suddenly both jumped at the loud vibrating sounds of Spencer's blackberry against his nightstand ran through their ears. Bonnie went searching for her cloths as the doctor answered his cell, "Hello?"

"Hello, darling."

Garcia.

Running his hand through his hair, he mouthed a thank you to the female for handing him some water, "Garcia…it's eight at night…on a Saturday."

"Oh, please, I know you're up. Anyway, Derek, JJ, Will, and I are going to play billiards, drink some beers and I'm inviting you, hun."

"Isn't JJ pregnant?"

"Never said she'd be drinking."

"I don't know…I mean, pool? I haven't played in years."

"Oh c'mon, you're a genius, you probably have every strategy memorized. Anyway, I was gonna invite Bonnie and I'd love to have an even number."

Raising an eyebrow, he stated, "I didn't know you had OCD, Garcia."

"See you, bye!"

The chubby girl quickly hung up, a laugh forming on Bonnie's face as her phone started ringing. She walked over to the phone, looking at the caller ID, and smiled at her peer, "Derek."

After much pestering, Bonnie convinced Spencer to go. They took separate cars to avoid suspicion and make it seem as if both were no where near each other. Because of her speedy way of driving, she arrived there faster then the other. Bonnie had put her hair up in a ponytail, only letting a few strands fall in front of her face, wearing a black halter top that showed off some of her flat stomach, and low rider jeans.

Walking into the bar, she saw Derek turn around with a smile as he went over to kiss her cheek, "Hey, beautiful."

"Oh, Derek, it's so nice to see each other outside of work."

About two hours had gone by of good laughter and fun times. Bonnie and JJ enjoyed their moments of sobriety together while the rest enjoyed leisurely drinking. Spencer was really enjoying himself talking to JJ and Will. Before the blonde had begun her romance with Will, he had perhaps thought something would happen between them and even to this day admired her greatly. It made him smile to see her happy, knowing that this almost forbidden romance was now turning into a lifetime of happiness.

Out of the corner of his brown eyes, he noticed Derek's flirtatious ways being directed towards his own forbidden affair. He noticed how her lips smiled and her eyes glimmered while in his presence. He noticed how her body curved in his direction and he knew that he felt a ping of jealousy. He knew that when glaring at someone long enough they would feel the stare and stare back. When she did stare back, he noticed the jealousy in her eyes of how close him and JJ were.

The night came to an end when JJ felt a slight uncomfortable kick in her stomach, it was understandable that a pregnant woman shouldn't be hanging out all night. When they couple left, the four others slowly separated until it was Bonnie and Spencer standing outside. The cool crisp air swept across both their bodies, enhancing the smell of cigarette smoke off of the female.

"So…"

"So…"

The two weakly chuckled to themselves, looking around; even though it was only 10:30 at night, the town was dead. There were no cars and no people hanging around, the place was just for them. Bonnie looked over to Reid, smiling, "I don't want to go home, I'm so awake."

Spencer nodded as he looked at his watch and then scratched the back of his head, "Wanna go see a movie?"

With a nod and a smile, the two made their way to Bonnie's car to go to the movies. Two weeks later JJ gave birth and Spencer was named Godfather.

Note: Again, I am so so so so sorry about taking so long to update. I hope you guys have been keeping up with Criminal Minds, it's fucking amazing lately, the episodes are done so well. I'm trying to keep with the storyline, bear with me, it's not gonna be exact, probably a little behind. I loved the latest episode with Rossi and Jason Alexander, beautiful. Please review, tell me what you think, and if you have any requests 'd be more then happy to hear them.