3

He liked playing games with her. Hide and seek was a favourite. Of course, she was usually far better at this than him, being 10 times smaller. Janet had accidentally interrupted their game once; having gone to the washing basket to load up the machine, instead of dirty socks and shirts (buttons still done up, no matter how many times she told him), she found her little girl, curled up in a ball. She'd spoken to her a little too loudly, alerting Harry to her position, and leaving Ellie in a strop.

Leo joined in too. He was even worse at hiding than his younger colleague.

Nikki stopped taking part after the unfortunate incident with the airing cupboard.

It was a little family they had created. Leo and Janet hadn't been sure of what she was meant to call them, but she came out with Mummy and Dad on her own, and they settled with that – enjoying the feeling of belonging it gave them every time she tottered up to them and asked them something. Harry and Nikki had originally attempted to be Uncle and Aunt, but he had ended up as Hair, and Nikki was Niks. They too settled on it. It was nice.

When it came to her birthday, he had wanted an all out, no expenses spared party, with all her friends from nursery, along with their parents. Janet and Leo sensibly, and politely, refused his idea of hiring a circus big top out for the night; along with suggestions of a foam party, Lord of the Rings theme ('They can all dress as dwarves and the tallish ones can be Hobbits') and a red carpet event, where they all would ride in a limo ('They're 3 years old, Harry' 'Exactly, what's cuter than a toddler in a tux?').

In the end they settled on a simple birthday tea, with 6 of her friends.

Hair and Niks arrived once the other toddlers had left – though they found their favourite ginger nut incredibly cute and lovely, they weren't quite able to deal with a room full of children just yet. Maybe it was a skill possessed only by teachers and parents. They quizzed her on the presents she had received, and then gave her theirs; an outfit from Nikki and an outrageously large soft polar bear from him. They picked at the leftover cocktail sausages and party rings, as they played with the various toys she had received and Leo helped Janet clear up the mess.

"Do you want to watch the DVD Uncle Tom sent?" Leo asked as he joined them on the sofa.

"Yes!" She screeched in delight. Harry crossed his fingers, hoping that it was something to do with Disney Princesses and other such nonsense. No chance of his secret being let out with something like that.

"What film is it?" Harry asked, attempting not to sound too nervous.

"Red Dog," He hadn't heard of that one. "It's Australian. I'm not really sure what it's about; Janet's brother sent it." Leo slotted the disc in and then passed him the box, allowing him to inspect it. As far as he could work out, it was a family film about a hitch hiking dog. Nothing too emotional there. He'd be fine.

"Janet, are you coming?" Nikki called into the kitchen.

"One sec!"

"Sit with you?" Harry took one look at her adorable face and pulled her up onto his lap.

"Of course you can," He smiled. "Happy birthday,"

An hour and a half later, the film finished.

He was not fine. He hated Janet's brother – a man he had never met – for providing them with the film. He hated the people who made the box; it was unfair to make it sound like that, misleading him. He was under the impression it was a family comedy. And though, he conceded, it was family friendly and incredibly hilarious, they should have added something to the description to warn people like himself - something similar to the various signs you see at the start of a queue for a rollercoaster:

Do not ride if pregnant.

Do not ride if suffering from any heart condition.

Do not ride if below 1.5m.

"Harry, are you crying?" He rubbed his hand against his eyes, trying to not make the motion seem too obvious, attempting to pass it off as an itch. "You're crying!"

Do not watch if in possession of the tear ducts of a soft, 80 year old lady.

"You're crying!" She was enjoying his embarrassment far too much.

"Come on, bed time," Leo scooped his little girl into his arms, ignoring his colleagues teasing, and then let her say goodnight to Harry and Nikki, before taking her upstairs.

"I can't believe you're actually crying!" She put a hand out to touch his arm, but he flinched away.

"Lay off it," He muttered, furiously trying to stop the precipitation from his glazed over orbs. Janet, like her husband, tactically stayed out of it. "I better get going," He stood up and hugged her, thanking her for the evening, before leaving, with Nikki in close pursuit.

"Which bit did it for you?" She asked in her sing-song teasing tone. "The guy in the middle or the end with the dog?" He rolled his eyes at her and carried on walking in silence. "Come on," She caught up and wrapped her arms around one of his. "It's sweet," Her tone turned serious for a second, but didn't stay that way for long. "Which bit was it?"

"Both,"

"I can't believe I've never seen you cry at a film before," She tugged at his arm, an action that sent shivers up his spine ever since 2 months previously, a night he had since dubbed 'Diary Doomsday'. "We must have watched hundreds together," He still stayed silent. "You didn't even cry at Finding Neverland!"

"Well," He decided that, as she had already found out the bigger secret, there was no point keeping to smaller one from her now. After all, it had only ever been a secret in the first place to cover up his crying fits. "I pre-screen films,"

"You what?"

"Since 1988 I have not watched a film with another person or in public unless I've seen it before hand, or I know for certain that it contains no emotion whatsoever."

"Wait, hold on, jump back a step," She really was enjoying it far too much. "Why do you pre-screen them?"

"If I cry on the first time I watch them, I won't cry the second time,"

"Seriously?" She giggled. "So you're a serial crier?" He nodded, burying his face down further into his scarf, hoping his apartment was just around the corner, even though he knew he had at least another 10 minutes to walk. "Hold on, why 1988?"

"Because," He sighed, trying to work out how long she'd tease him about it for. Forever, probably. "That was when I took my first high school girlfriend to see Beaches. She dumped me 2 days later."

"You cried all over her?"

"Wept like a baby,"

"My god," She struggled to contain her laughter.

"Can you give it a rest now, please?" He snapped, even though he knew she wouldn't.

"Sorry," The continuing slightly-repressed giggles took the sincerity out of her apology, somehow. "It's so cute,"

"Jesus," He moaned.

"What's wrong with that? It was a compliment. It's cute,"

"Cute stops being a male compliment past the age of 6." He muttered indignantly.

"Ellie doesn't strop like this,"

"Ellie doesn't have a friend who constantly teases her!"

"You tease her quite a bit,"

"I do not!"

"You call her smelly Ellie," He opened his mouth to argue, but she stopped him. "And you know she hates it,"

"That's affectionate teasing!"

"So is this," She smiled innocently, letting her lips reveal her blinding white teeth. He took in how beautiful she looked, under the streetlight, her breathe floating in the air, hair beginning to fall out of its bun after a long day at work – and, not for the first time since Doomsday, regretted not telling her how he felt earlier. He regretted not realising how he felt earlier. When she felt the same. Before it was too late.

"You're evil,"

"You love me for it though,"

"Definitely not,"

"Then why do you love me?" Her voice was teasing and playfully, but the question took him off guard. If he were to list all the reasons, he would most likely be there all night. And, he'd probably end up revealing far more than he meant to – he'd had one secret revealed that night, which was already one too many in his opinion.

"I don't love you," He answered quickly, trying to sound jovial, hoping she hadn't noticed his initial stumble. "Because you're a horrible, horrible friend,"

"I'm not!"

"You most certainly are,"

"Don't be moody,"

"I'm allowed to be moody – how do you know that I'm not really sensitive about my crying, huh? Maybe the girl from '88 was the one for me and now I've lost her because of it, maybe I'm forever emotionally scarred?" He grinned at her. "You shouldn't tease people about something when you don't know how painful it is for them,"

"I'm sorry," The giggles took away any sincerity the apology could have held.

"Doesn't cut it,"

"What can I do?"

He thought about his answer for a long time, leaving her to wonder if he was ever going to reply.

"I want you tell me something embarrassing about yourself," She smiled, and opened her mouth to begin. "Something I don't know." That stopped her in her tracks. "Am embarrassing secret," She was flummoxed.

"But you know all my secrets,"

"There must be something,"

"There isn't,"

"There's something,"

"No there isn't, Harry," He smiled at how red she was turning. "I promise,"

"From the colour your face has gone, there quite clearly is,"

"Quite clearly is not,"

"Just one little thing, tell me one little secret," He grinned. "To make up for teasing me,"

"You don't make me tell you a secret all the other times I tease you!"

"Maybe I should start,"

"You're an idiot,"

"Let's not resort to name calling," They reached his doorstep.

"Oh, what a shame, you're home," She spoke dramatically. "I won't be able to tell you anything now, toodle pip, see you tomorrow," She turned around to leave, but he grabbed her arm, pulling her back to face him.

"You don't get off that easily," Only then did he realise how close his action had left them, noses almost touching, breath warming each other's cold lips. He'd always been aware of personal space – but for some reason with her, he chose to ignore it. Maybe it was because she never objected; maybe it was just because he enjoyed it so much. "Come on, one little secret," He tried to ignore the feel of her breath against his lips.

"I keep a diary,"

"Already know that," He cursed himself – he hadn't been paying attention, he'd let his mouth speak before his brain thought, and now he'd well and truly stuck his foot in it. 2 months of hard work trying to pretend nothing had happened, down the drain with 3 stupid words. There was no way she would forgive him for what he did.

"How?" He hoped his eyes didn't give him away, as she searched them intently.

"I just figured you were that type of person,"

"You read them," She spat accusingly; he always had been a terrible liar. "I can't believe you read my diaries,"

"Only a little bit," He argued desperately. "Just the bits about me,"

"Oh good, that makes it ok then," It sounded like something she should have shouted, but whether it was because she wasn't as angry as he had expected, or because of their close proximity, the words came out as a rushed whispered, bitter and sarcastic. "How much did you read?"

"Not much, I promise," She'd never seen him look so guilty or embarrassed. "I...just little snippets,"

"Enough snippets to get the jist?" He was fairly sure what 'jist' she was referring to, so swallowed hard and replied.

"Yes,"

"And what did you think of that revelation?"

"It doesn't matter now," He let his eyes rest on his feet, deciding that was the safest place for them. He didn't want her seeing him cry twice in one night.

"Of course it matters,"

"It doesn't," He twiddled with a penny in his coat pocket. "Your New Year's resolution, you succeeded,"

"Which resolution?"

"Quite clearly not the chocolate one," He mumbled, thinking back to the dubious amount of chocolate fingers they had each gobbled with Ellie.

He hadn't expected her reaction to be laughter, or to place her hand on his chin, pulling his face up.

"You look like a puppy that's just been told off," She observed.

"Look, Nikki, I am really sorry," He began. "I know it was a stupid, stupid thing to do. But I am sorry. I am. And I really hope it doesn't make anything awkward – I get it, you used to like me, now you don't. I'm..." He struggled to think of a word that described quite how he felt about that. "I'm...I regret that...that it's in the past, I mean. But you've always been my best friend, and I honestly can't imagine...I just...I'm really sorry, and I'll do anything to make it up to you..."

The kiss took him off guard; short but sweet; not nearly long enough, yet more than satisfying; desperate, but delicate.

"I'm really bad at keeping New Year's resolutions," She whispered, giving him time to process what had just happened. Once he finally had, he was left grinning from ear to ear.

"I can tell by..." She cut him off with a chaste kiss, deeper than the first; he was finding it difficult to believe his luck.

"If your dare finish that sentence with 'your waistline' I'll kill you,"

"I was going to say the piles of paper on your desk," He smiled innocently.

"Really?"

"Yes,"

"If you're lying, I'll make you watch Red Dog again," She paused. "Or even better, Up,"

"You're just sadistic,"

"Seeing grown men cry turns me on," She whispered huskily.

"You're never going to let me forget it, are you?"

"Never,"

He desperately wanted to ask her what it meant – for him, for her, for them – should he ask her on a date?; was she his girlfriend?; hadn't she been dating someone recently? He calmed his neurotic brain, and settled for just enjoying 'it' before worrying about anything that may follow. For it felt wonderful, and relieving, and fulfilling; for it was all he had ever hoped for years. No, he would not worry himself about the future, and simply enjoy the present.

Though, he'd heard the new Italian down the road from the Lyell Centre was good. She liked Italian.

So quite a few secrets for Harry :) Sorry for lack of updating, have had a busy exam month, but hopefully will have more time now :)