Quinn walked towards her Spanish class worrying about all the things Santana could possibly say. The way it had been all day, she was the first to arrive to her classroom. But the teacher wasn't there yet so she leaned against the wall and waited. It didn't take long for Santana to arrive, the halls were crowded so she leaned against the wall too, leaning close to talk to her.
"How was your lunch date with Berry?" Santana said, a cheeky smile spreading across her face.
"It wasn't a date. I just wanted some lessons on singing and stuff.." Quinn trailed off, she knew she wouldn't be able to lie to Santana for much longer, and she wouldn't be surprised if Santana had already figured everything out. Santana had come out at the start of the year and her and Brittany had been dating ever since, so Quinn knew if she needed advice in that area, Santana would be the one to go to.
"Oh come on! Q, you can't lie to me, I know when you like someone." She pushed herself off of the wall and turned to Quinn, "I mean if you had've told me a month ago you were a box fairy I don't know if I would've believed it. But today, wow. I know."
"Box fairy?" Quinn asked, puzzled.
"You're gay!" Santana exclaimed, a few people turned around, but no one's gaze lingered for long. Quinn jumped off of the wall towards Santana,
"SHHHH! I am not..." Quinn realised she was yelling and went to a whisper, looking away from Santana at her last word, "gay."
"Alright. Fine. Whatever. You can just talk to me about it when you come to terms with the fact you totally like Rachel." At the moment Santana mentioned Rachel, Quinn looked quickly to Santana and then back around the halls in case anyone was listening. Her stomach did a triple flip when she saw Rachel turn the corner and walk towards her. Quinn took a step back from Santana, her eyed wide with panic, she knew if Rachel talked to her about going to get coffee after school, Santana wouldn't get off of her case until she told Santana what was going onin her mind. She shot a look at Santana, who went back to leaning on the wall as Rachel approached her. Her heart melted as Rachel smiled at her and said a quick hello to Santana, who waved and raised her eyebrows a little.
"I was just finalising our plans tonight, so I'll meet you at 3:30 at your locker? We'll have to take your car, I got a ride with Kurt this morning. I hope thats okay."
"Yeah I- that's fine." Quinn put her books at her chest and folded her arms, feeling uncomfortable, and feeling Santana's gaze on her back like it was burning a hole through her skull. "I'm parked in the south parking lot so.. wait I guess it doesn't matter since you're meeting me at my locker. Yeah, 3:30 sounds great Rachel." Quinn said, finally making eye contact with Rachel since her heart melted. Rachels smile was still as big as it was before, making Quinn smile. Rachel said an excited goodbye and put her hand on Quinn's shoulder as she walked away, saying goodbye to Santana before disappearing into the crowd.
Quinn already knew she was in trouble before she even turned around. "I know what you're going to say, and just don't, please." Quinn said as she turned arond to see the smirk on Santana's face.
"Oh I wasn't going to say anything, box fairy. That conversation was enough for me." She said as the teacher unlocked the door and let the students in, who were all in their own conversations, "But next time you want to go hang out with your girlfriend, don't talk to me the way you did at the start of lunch or I might just have to go Lima Heights on you."
They went to their usual seats towards the back of the class as Mr Shue began talking about Spanish. Santana was giving Quinn a look of "This conversation is not over" and tore out a page of her book, a few people looking around but no one really noticing what was going on.
You know I'll get it out of you eventually. So stop being a little bitch and just face it, you like Rachel. And coffee? You're going on a date with her and you didn't even tell me. Have you told her how you feel?
There were enough people in front of Quinn and Santana for them not having to be too discreet with their notes, and Mr Shue didn't care much anyway. Quinn's eyes scanned the room after she read the note, like everyone could hear what she was reading. She put the paper down and thought for a second, before writing
Shut up S. I don't like her.. I just Quinn looked up at the board trying to think of how to write what she was about to write, want to be friends with her a hang out with her. And its not a date. Its just two people going to get some coffee.
Quinn quicky folded up he paper and half-threw it at Santana, she was beginning to get annoyed, she hated talking about her feelings with anyone. And the only person she'd really ever opened up to was Rachel, and that was rare.
Santana rolled her eyes, it seemed to be a common thing that day. She sat looking at the board before writing something back and passing it back to Quinn.
Whatever you say. Just talk to me if you need to. I may be a bitch but I know what you're going through. So when you're ready to face your feelings, I won't be too far. Quinn scrunched up the piece of paper and put her head down on the desk. She felt like she was going to cry. She wanted to talk to Santana, she really did. But she felt so ashamed of what she was feeling and had no idea what to do. After a minute the class started to get louder, as Mr Shue has stopped talking and people were chatting while they worked. Quinn sighed, the lump that formed in her throat was getting more prominent, she started think of Rachel again and smiled a little, but hated herself even more. She felt a hand onher back, rubbing the top half of her back in comfort. She turned her head and rested it on her arms, weakly smiling at her and mouthing "Thank you".
She took another deep breath and sat back up in her chair, opening her Spanish book and getting Santana's help with the answers. They had a few laughs as Santana easily knew the answers, they finished before the rest of the class, but didn't tell Mr Shue because he'd give them more work so they quietly chatted about Santana and Brittany.
After their final class, Quinn and Santana walked out of the classroom quickly, avoiding any chance of Mr Shue asking them to stay behind. Quinn was silently excited that she was about to go and spend more time with Rachel, her sadness had passed although she still felt uneasy about her feelings. They arrived to Santana's locker and Quinn hung around her locker for a little while, as butterflies were already apparent in her stomach so she wanted to postpone going to her locker for a little longer.
"Don't you need to go meet your girlfriend, Fabray?"
"Shut up, she's not my.. you know."
"Yeah, you wish she was." Santana laughed as she put her books in her locker and grabbed her bag. Quinn blushed and looked away, hoping no one was in a close enough distance to hear what Santana had just said. Santana grabbed her bag and closed her locker and followed Quinn down the halls to Quinns locker. As they turned the last corner Quinn saw Rachel patiently waiting at her locker with her bag, her phone in her hand.
"Go get your lover, box fairy. Good luck today, with whatever it is you're doing." Santana said as she hugged Quinn and walked in the opposite direction.
Quinn took a deep breath and walked down the hall to her locker, smiling at Rachel as she looked up. "Hey Rach" Quinn said, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Hey Quinn, how were your last two classes?" Rachel said as she tucked her phone in her pocket and swayed back and forth on her tip toes.
"I had double spanish with Santana, so it was easy." Quinn said as she shoved books into her bag and tookher ag outof her locker.
"Did you notice how hard its raining? I noticed about 15 minutes before class was over, its pretty bad. Luckily I don't have to walk home, huh?" Rachel said with little laugh, obviously trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah, I'm like your saviour or something." Quinn said with a faint laugh, feeling stupid as soon as she finished speaking.
"Something like that. Hopefully there's not too much traffic, I'm dying for a double shot mocha." Rachel said as they walked towards the exit, "Your car isn't too far into the parking lot is it?" She said, looking at Quinn curiously.
"No no, its not too far. Just put your bag over your head. You won't get your hair as wet." Quinn said as she held open the door for Rachel and put her bag over her head as she went out into the rain. They ran to her car, laughing as they got into it.
"How did I not realise it was raining this much? Lucky we're going to get coffee, its freezing. I need to warm up." Maybe you should hug me and then I'd be warm, Quinn thought as she turned the heater on and pulled out of the carpark.
Rachel began talking about her problems with Finn after Quinn asked, Rachel rambling on about his controlling and general annoyance towards her after he broke up with her. It felt like they were in the car for a total of five seconds when Quinn pulled into a parking spot as close to the door as possible since it was still raining quite hard. As they walked into the Lima Bean they saw a few familiar faces, but none familiar enough to say hello. Quinn was surprised when there wasn't a line, and walked up to the counter with Rachel.
"Hi, can I have a hot chocolate, and a double shot mocha for this girl." Quinn said with a smirk as she pointed to Rachel. The person who served them went to make the drinks as they waited at the counter.
"Wait how did you know what I wanted?" Rachel asked, her eyes wide with shock.
"You said it in the car. What, do you think I don't listen?"
"Well, not many people really listen to me, usually it doesn't matter what I say; people will just nod and look away." Rachel said as she crossed her arms and looked at the floor.
"I won't do that to you." Quinn said quickly, without thinking. Rachel looked up at Quinn, a small smile apparent on her face, her eyes curious, confused and happy all at the same time. Quinn smiled at Rachel, her thoughts racing. Holy crap what if she does like me? She was complaining about boys in the car, now this? Gosh, I don't want to screw this up.
Just as Rachel was about to say something, the waiter came back and handed them their drinks, Quinn paid for it, insisting she pay and not Rachel. They went and sat at the back at a 2 seater table. Quinn asked Rachel a few standard questions to try to get to know Rachel, she didn't know whether she was trying to find things they didn't have in common to try and get rid of her feelings or if she just wanted to know more about Rachel to surprise her with random things. All she knew is that the more Rachel spoke, the more she liked her. She suddenly got so angry with herself, she hated feeling the way she did. But she loved it too. She wanted to talk about her feelings, whether it be with Rachel or Santana. She needed to sort everything out, and stop being mad at herself.
After she got to know Rachel a little more, they sat in silence for a little while. Quinn was surprised that it wasn't an awkward silence, she felt so comfortable and at home sitting with Rachel. She was getting lost in her thoughts again when she was interrupted.
"Can I ask you a question?" Rachel said, looking directly at Quinn.
"Um, sure I guess. What is it?" Quinn immediately felt uneasy.
"Why did you suddenly start being so nice to me, I mean first you ask me to hang out and help you with your scales and now this? I just don't und-"
"Why is it so weird that I'm nice to you? Is it so impossible that maybe I wanted to get to know you? We've been in Glee club together for two years so I thought why not. What, do you think I like you or something? Because I don't. I don't Rachel." Quinn said, her eyes glaring at Rachel, only a small sense of happiness still lying beneath the anger.
"I- um. What? I didn't think you like me. I don't think you're gay. I mean I know Santana is but. Are you?"
"What? No. Of course not."
Rachels eyes widened. Like there was some kind of realisation. Quinn panicked. "Forget I said anything. I just wanted to be nice since we're in Glee together." Quin said as she took a sip of her hot chocolate. She looked around the coffee shop at everyone, it was busier now that the afterschool rush had come in.
"Oh okay. I was.. I was just asking. I mean I don't have a problem with it if you are, I mean I have 2 dads, if I had a problem with it, well it'd be kind of weird." Rachel said, she was now playing with the lid of her cup, like she was embarrassed or nervous. Quinn discreetly looked at Rachel out of the corner of her eye. All she wanted to do was hug Rachel or stare at her until her eyes hurt.
"Yeah, I know. But, no I'm.." Quinn didn't want to finish her sentence. She didn't know how to. She was still so angry with herself and wanted to scream at anyone that walked by.
"I was just asking. I mean honestly I'm still trying to figure out why you're being nice to me. I know you said because of Glee, but we've been there two years and you've never done this I-"
"Just drop it Rachel. Please. I don't want labels, I don't want any of that shit okay?"
Rachels eyes widened, she'd never heard Quinn swear, and she could see the anger in her eyes. Quinn took the last big gulp of her drink and grabbed her bag and got up. "I- I'm stupid I shouldn't of even thought you and I-" Quinn froze as she put her bag on her shoulder, realising what she just said could've been a big mistake.
"You and I what, Quinn?" Rachel said in an almost whisper.
"Nothing.. I've uh, I've gotta go." Quinn said as she walked away from the table and through the sea of people, walking outside without putting her bag over her head, getting soaked immediately from the downpour. She angrily looked through her bag looking for her keys. Idiot idiot idiot what is wrong with you, such a fucking idiot... Quinn thought to herself as she unlocked the car and got in, locking the door behind her. She let the tears she had been holding in stream down her face. She banged her head slightly on her steering wheel as she sobbed, she was so angry with herself, and sad that she knew Rachel would never want her.
She jumped as she heard a knock on her window. Rachel.
"Um, can you let me in? Its really cold and I'm getting wet. And you're my ride home." Rachel said pleadingly. Quinn unlocked the door and Rachel jumped in, sitting in silence as she looked at Quinn, who was trying to stop sobbing. Rachel hovered her hand over Quinns back, trying to think of something to say. "Its- its okay, Quinn." was all she could squeak out as she rubbed Quinns back.
"No, no its not okay? I'm not. I'm notwhat you think I am okay? Now can we talk about something else while I drive you home please?" Quinn said as she sat up straight, whiped her tears and turned the car on.
"Sure, uh.." There was a silence in the car and they drove out of the carpark and most of the way to Rachel's house. The only conversation in the car was Rachel directing Quinn to her house.
As they pulled up at her house, Quinn put the car in park and turned to Rachel. "I'm sorry I- that I yelled at you and stuff.." Quinn said, trailing off.
"Its okay, I'm sorry I asked you too many questions." Quinn laughed a little.
"Its fine.. so um. Can I hang out with you again tomorrow? I meanwe don't have to if I'm annoying. I promise I won't lash out at you again. Or I'll try not to." Quinn said with a weak smile.
"Sure, yeah that's fine. I'll be in the choir room again. Just meet me there whenever." Rachel said as she grabbed her bag. She leaned over towards Quinn, lightly hugging her, squeezing Quinn as she hugged her back.
"Thanks," Quinn said as Rachel got out of the car. She watched Rachel walk to her door, waving her goodbye as she walked into her house. As soon as Rachel was out of sight, Quinn let out a big sigh and leaned back into her chair.
"Shit."